Chapter 3: Graduation Ceremony

CLAIRE'S POV

Nasa kwarto na ako ngayon at oras na para matulog dahil graduation ko na bukas. But I just can't bring myself to sleep. I have to wake up early tomorrow. It's already midnight yet my eyes are still wide open and I'm in deep thought.

I can't get those words out of my mind. Sigurado akong importante ang kung ano man ang ibig sabihin no'n. Malakas kasi ang pakiramdam ko na may dahilan ang paghingi ng tawad sa'kin ng mga estudyante. Though I know that it was all an act. Inaamin kong gusto kong dumating 'yong araw na hihingi rin sila ng kapatawaran, with all their heart but that seemed impossible.

"I don't care who you truly are, but I promise not to bother you anymore. So please, forgive me."

Kanina pa gumugulo sa isip ko 'yon. Who really I am? Ano ba kasing ibig sabihin no'n? Do I have a secret identity that I'm not aware of? But why don't I know anything if it's about me? Alam kaya ito ni Mama? But if she knew, I'm sure she would tell me.

Ngunit hindi rin naman malayong alam niya nga ang tungkol sa totoo kong pagkatao pero hindi niya lang sinasabi sa'kin? Pero hindi naman naglilihim sa'kin si Mama.

This is crazy! Bakit naman nadamay pa si Mama rito? She doesn't even know what was happening to me at school. Kung ano man ang problema ko sa kanila, sa amin na lang 'yon dahil paniguradong wala namang kinalaman dito si Mama.

Sumasakit na ang ulo ko, ayoko na ngang isipin 'yon. Ang mahalaga naman ay maayos na ang lahat. At least, I don't need to worry anymore about being bullied again.

Pilit kong ipinipikit ang mga mata ko pero ayaw talagang matulog ng aking diwa. Ilang beses na rin akong papalit-palit ng pwesto at halos magpagulong-gulong na ako sa higaan. I tried to close my eyes again but I just couldn't sleep. Malalim pa akong napabuntong-hininga. Never mind.

Bumangon na lang ako mula sa higaan at lumapit sa kabinet na nasa tabi ng kama ko. Binuksan ko 'yong drawer at kinuha ang isang bagay na pinakaiingatan ko saka naupo sa gilid ng kama.

Pinagmasdan ko ang bagay na ito. It's a silver necklace that has my name 'Meyn' written on it which was made into a pendant. Matagal na rin noong huli kong nahawakan ang kwintas na ito. Nakatago lang kasi at hindi ko na napakikialaman.

"Eight years, eight years na ang nakalilipas ngunit hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin tayo muling nagkikita," saad ko sa kawalan. Baliw na yata ako para kausapin ang kwintas na ito.

This necklace is from my best friend and I didn't just consider him a friend. He's also my first love, my childhood crush. Pero ngayon wala na akong nararamdaman sa kaniya. Siguro kung meron man, 'yon ay ang pagkasabik na makita siyang muli bilang isang matalik na kaibigan dahil walong taon na rin ang nakalipas noong huli kaming nagkita.

I also gave him the same necklace but his pendant has 'Nart' written on it which I'm not sure if it's his real name or just his nickname. It's just that I used to call him that and he used to call me 'Meyn' which is only my second name. Nakatatawa lang na sa tagal naming naging magkaibigan ay hindi ko nalaman kung ano ang buo niyang pangalan at kahit siya ay hindi rin alam ang sa'kin.

So how would we meet again if I don't know his full name? Perhaps, we already did but we just don't recognize each other. He might be one of the people I came across on the road.

Kung ibabase naman sa kwintas na binigay ko sa kaniya, hindi ko rin siya kaagad makikilala. What if he's not wearing it like me? And among the billions of people, he may not be the only man with that name. Anyway, this necklace that we gave to each other was for goodbyes and I never knew the reason. I guess it's a goodbye that will surely never meet again.

Maybe I'll just let destiny decide if we will meet again, only if it's our fate to meet each other. Ayos lang naman kahit hindi na at mananatili na lang siyang alaala sa akin.

Pero iba pa rin kung magkikita kaming muli. Umaasa ako na darating ang panahon na mangyayari 'yon. Makita at makumusta ko lang siya ay sapat na. He became a part of my life after all.

"I kept this with me, I wonder if you do the same." Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako sa isiping 'yon bago ibinalik sa kabinet ang kwintas na hawak ko. Pagkatapos, humiga na akong muli at sinubukang ipikit ang aking mga mata para matulog.

• • •

Kinabukasan, napadilat ako nang marinig ang katok sa pinto ng kwarto ko. Napahikab pa ako at nag-unat ng kamay.

"Anak, hindi ka pa ba gising? You'll be late for your graduation." Napabalikwas na lang ako ng bangon nang marinig ang sinabi ni Mama sa labas ng pinto. Oo nga pala! Nakalimutan ko, graduation pala ngayon.

"Ma, bakit ngayon mo lang ako ginising!" nagrereklamo kong tanong. I darted at the wall clock and I still have thirty minutes to do my morning routine.

"Huwag ng maraming reklamo. Kumilos ka na, your breakfast is waiting for you," she replied.

I immediately took the towel and entered the bathroom to take a shower which only took maybe fifteen minutes. Pagkatapos kong maligo ay kaagad akong nagsuot ng uniporme, nagsapatos, nagsuklay ng buhok at ang panghuli ay sinuot ko na ang eyeglasses ko. In exactly thirty minutes, I left the room and ate the breakfast that my mother prepared.

"Can you promise me na magiging masaya ka lang ngayon? Hindi magagalit, malulungkot o ano pa man," pakiusap ni Mama habang tinatalian ang buhok ko.

Ano bang sinasabi niya? Malamang masaya dapat ako ngayon dahil graduation ko na. Idagdag mo pa na makaaalis na rin ako sa wakas sa paaralan na 'yon.

"Of course, Ma. Since it's my graduation!" I cheerfully responded.

Matapos niyang talian ang buhok ko, inayos niya muna ang unipormeng suot ko at pinagmasdan ang buo kong hitsura. Para tuloy akong bata na kailangan pang inaayusan ng nanay niya.

"I think, you better change your uniform," she suggested. Mabilis akong umiling sa kaniya para tumanggi. "But look how big your uniform is. You're not even fat," she uttered with a frown. It's just big, not that very big.

"Please, Meyn, just this time," she begged while blinking her eyes. Goodness, she can be very childish sometimes.

"Fine." Pumayag na lang ako para hindi na siya mangulit pa. Saka anong oras na rin para makipagtalo pa ako sa kaniya.

"Okay, wait for me..." Kaagad siyang pumasok sa kwarto niya. When she returned, she was holding a pair of uniforms. She made me wear it and I can say that it's fine, just fitted for my body.

"See, you look pretty. Let's go, we're getting late." We immediately went outside and I was surprised when there was a black car parked in front of our house. It looks new and expensive.

"Get in." Nagtataka naman akong tumingin kay Mama. Is that her car? Since when did she own a car? "I'll tell you later, you're already late remember?" she reminded.

Nagmadali na lang akong pumasok sa loob. I sat next to the driver's seat which was shortly followed by her and drove the car. What is this about? May kailangan ba akong malaman? I feel confused. Bakit bigla-bigla na lang siyang nagkaroon ng kotse?

Mabilis kaming nakarating ng school na puro tanong ang nasa isip ko. Pero binalewala ko muna 'yon nang huminto na ang sasakyan. Naunang bumaba si Mama na kaagad ko namang sinundan.

We went straight to the open field where the graduation will be held. After we got there, a remarkable arrangement of the whole place caught my sight. Chairs are stacked and there is an improvised stage with decorations.

Sa tingin ko ay kompleto na ang mga estudyanteng nandito. Mga nasa kani-kanilang upuan na sila katabi ang kanilang mga magulang. Kami lang yata ang natatanging pa-importante pa ang dating kaya naman natahimik ang lahat at natuon ang atensyon sa amin. It's embarrassing, do they really have to look in my direction?

Inanyayahan na ako ni Mama na maupo. Nasa harapan na lang ang bakanteng upuan kaya doon kami naupo. 'Di ko alam kung para sa amin talaga 'yon dahil binakante nila. After we sat down, a commotion shortly filled the surroundings and I even heard their different exchanges that I think were about me.

"That uniform suits her."

"Dapat matagal na siyang nagsuot ng ganiyan."

"Yeah, she looks pretty."

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako sa mga narinig ko. It's uncomfortable hearing their positive comments about me and I'm not used to it. I think I prefer being told the opposite.

Mayamaya pa ay nagulat na lang ako at halos humiwalay ang tainga ko dahil sa pagsigaw at pagtili ng mga estudyante. What the—seriously, I think my eardrums are about to burst.

Nang lingunin ko kung anong dahilan ng hiyawan nila, napangiti na lang ako. Drish is here but he's not alone, he got company. The one they ponder to be the prince and the one that all girls fantasize about has come, except for me. Because even though I like him, I never fantasized about him since I accepted the fact that I can only have a glimpse of him.

"Omg! Totoo ba 'tong nakikita ko?"

"My prince charming has arrived!"

"The four of them are stunning! God! I think I'm going to pass out!"

They are even weirder than me. Ganiyan ba talaga sila kapag may nagsisilabasang mga gwapong nilalang? Well, Drish just arrived with three other men, maybe his friends. Hindi ko alam ang mga pangalan nila dahil wala naman akong balak malaman pa. All I know is that their family is also included in the ranking. They studied here but only show up once when there are important occasions at school like today.

They are undeniably handsome and tall, with a fair skin color and a well-shaped body. Matatalino rin sila at may kaniya-kaniyang talento. A perfect gentleman that is almost everyone's ideal type.

Sabay-sabay silang naglakad sa gitna papunta sa harapan habang patuloy pa rin sa pagtili ang karamihan. The rest of the students almost passed out when the four of them smiled and winked at them. What is this, a concert?

Nang makarating sila sa harap, kaagad silang naupo malapit sa pwesto ko. Pero ngayon ko lang napansin na 'yon na lang pala ang bakanteng upuan. There are ten chairs per row which are divided into two to make an aisle.

"We meet again," a faint voice uttered beside me.

"It's because I study here," I blurted out. I turned to my right side and abruptly covered my mouth when I realized who it was.

"Oh my gosh..." bulong ko. It looks like I'm exaggerating but I didn't expect that Drish would sit by my side. My heart is racing, it's pounding like crazy.

I suddenly turned to my left side when I heard a man's low laughter. Nakita ko naman ang isang kaibigan ni Drish na siyang tumawa. Nahihibang na ba siya?

Wait, another friend of theirs is also next to them. So anong ibig sabihin nito? Pinaggigitnaan ako ng apat na lalaking ito? What the? So where is my mother? She was just next to me, I didn't even notice that she left. Where did she go?

"You're funny and I found that cute," komento naman ng lalaking nasa kaliwa. I just looked away from him before I heard the four of them laughing at each other.

I can't believe this! I'm right next to him and it's making my heart beat out of my chest. Gosh, I need to calm down.