4. Family

That day Mariana and Jennie had dinner together outside, just the two of them. Jennie memorized that when Mom asked to meet the two of them like this, there must be many things Mom would ask her. It's already like an interrogation or investigation session.

It was only natural for Mother to do this since Jennie didn't live with her. Since Jennie separated and went with Dad, Mom could hardly see Jennie. Then when Jennie entered junior high school, Dad enrolled Jennie in the Special School with school dormitory facilities. Father put Jennie into the dormitory without discussing it with Mother.

That's when Mom found out, Mom and Dad had a big fight that sent each other demands to the authorities. Their fight ended peacefully when Jennie explained to Mom what she wanted to do with her life. She said that it was her decision.

That's why now Mother holds Jennie's words more than anyone else. Her words about what she wants to do in the future after completing her education. The profession that Jennie wants to do for a living.

Mariana didn't think that Jenny had thought that far. So she stopped resisting if that was what her daughter wanted. She fully supports the choice that Jennie has made in her life.

“How are you preparing to enter a special art school?” Mom asked without the intention of intimidating Jennie.

“I kept practicing hard to improve my painting skills. But in school, I'm not as smart as a big sister." Jennie felt pessimistic about her abilities.

“You too can be like your sister, as long as you put in more effort and hard work.”

Words of wisdom say results will not betray effort and hard work. Mom wants Jennie to be more confident in her abilities.

"You said to enter art school there were two standards of assessment, didn't you?" Ask Mom

"Yes, talent and also academics."

"Then how are you doing?"

“I will try to enter the competition to get points in talent achievements. For school lessons, I keep my grades within the Passing Grade.” It was difficult for Jennie to achieve high marks in the two different assessment areas.

"Don't make this mine attention a burden or pressure. I want you to stay focused because you have a purpose.”

"I know what Mother means." Jennie didn't want to disappoint her.

"So. What about the dorms, is everything okay?"

"You don't need to worry, I'm used to the dorm rules. I saw how Dad could focus on work. I understand very well how strict and disciplined my school is.”

"You're right, I agree you did the right thing by getting into that school."

Jennie and Mom finished their dinner. Mom came home in her car, while Jennie came home by taxi. Jennie's school is quite far from home. If Mom took her drop by the dorm first, Jennie was afraid that Mom would be too tired to drive home.

"Don't forget, you have to inform Mother along the way."

"I understand." Jennie reached into her bag, looking for her cellphone.

"Oh no, my cellphone battery ran out,  Mom! I'll let you know as soon as I get to the hostel. You don't need to worry."

"Not just tonight. You should tell Mom more often every day if you don't want to worry me."

"I'm sorry.. I'll do it."

Mariana and Jennie left the restaurant when the taxi order arrived. Jennie returned to the dormitory using the taxi she ordered, and Mother returned home in the car she used to use.

***

Mariana's car entered the parking lot in front of the house. She turned off the car engine and then prepared to get off. When she got home, the house was quiet. The door was locked and the lights in the house went out. This means that Bella is already in her room resting. Mariana always carries a duplicate key because she often comes home late.

She goes to the kitchen. On the dining table, Mom found Bella's leftover dinner. Bella only ate a small amount.

"At least Bella didn't miss dinner." Mariana thought.

Then she tidied the dinner so it could be warmed up for the next day. Rearrange the dining table, recycle trash, then pile dirty plates and glasses in the sink. Finished with the kitchen inspection, she went upstairs to Bella's room.

Quiet, not heard any sound. The room lights were out, Bella must have fallen asleep. Mother just opened the bedroom door, looking into the room from the doorway. Make sure Bella is in her room. Then she closed Bella's bedroom door again and went downstairs to her room to rest too.

Mariana's daily routine repeated like that. Mom's busy life revolves around work, children, and home. Never going on vacation, no time for getting sick, let alone time for romance.

Since the divorce she has remained alone, dedicating herself completely to work and children. Marina intended to do that until the end of her life. Jennie and Bella are Mariana's purpose in life, nothing else.

Several men who came tried to approach her wanting to become close friends, which Mariana refused firmly before the word 'friend' itself was intertwined.

The biggest secret, Mariana is actually worse than Bella in relationship problems. She is not interested in making friends or having them. The people at the company office where she works, are all just colleagues. Both subordinates and superiors at work are all the same, she thinks of them as just acquaintances. Mariana limits herself firmly between work and personal life. All the dinners that she attends in the name of office or company events are only for business purposes, not for deepening relationships.

Maybe she has given up on the meaning of the word 'relationship' itself. Her failure in the relationship of a spouse and marriage made her erase the word 'relationship' from her life dictionary. With just one failure, Mariana felt that she had had enough. So there is no second time so that it doesn't happen a second time.

Disappointment, pain, shame, and despair are enough for one time she to go through it all. Living life at its lowest point makes Mariana throw away all emotions that are created from the heart. She has long lost the emotional side of being carried away by feelings. Currently, the logic dominates.

Mariana didn't want much, didn't ask for much. Only, it's just that two things for her are most important. Those two things are Bella and Jennie. For Bella and Jennie, Mom wants the best for them. Wishing them the best in everything, their home, education, present, and future. Mariana didn't want her two daughters to end up like her. Don't want Jennie and Bella to go through the same life path as their mother. Jennie and Bella's life path must be easy and filled with flowery paths. That's the only hope and purpose of her's life.

Before going to bed, Mariana texted Lauren, asking how everything was going on at home today when she wasn't around.

Lauran message: I returned home before Bella came home. Today nothing happened, other than Jennie's package. I've put it in its usual place.

The contents of Lauren's message summarized the day.

Mariana decided to ask about the anxiety that was plaguing her mind.

Mariana's message: Bella barely touched her dinner. Does she look anything out of the ordinary today?

Lauren message: I don't think there is. I looked and observed, that Bella had no appetite when eating alone. Even if she's served her favorite dish.

Mariana was silent reading Lauren's message. That's right, she didn't think that way. Her presence in the house is getting blurry. Bella and Mariana barely saw each other for a whole day. When Mariana was getting ready to leave for work, Bella came out of the room for breakfast. And when Mom returned to work Bella was already resting in her room like last night.

The last time she and Bella ate together or spent time talking alone, was probably over a month ago. At that time she came home early and got half a day off from work. Mariana realized, in the future that she had to make time for her daughter more. Because time together in the family is also very important so that children do not lose their parental figures.

Mariana wrote a message again: Thank you for reminding me to pay more attention to the children. I believe Bella is fine because she is a smart, kind, and responsible child. Thank you for accompanying Bella while home.

Lauren's message: No, I did it because I care about Bella too. After all, I've been with Bella since she was little.

Right now, in the eyes of both her children, Mariana might seem the most strict, and cold-hearted parent. She realized that, but for her, it didn't matter from their point of view. All she does is for the good of Bella and Jennie. Because Mariana knows better, after all, she first crossed this path of life long before Bella and Jennie.