I blinked. The kiss was too fast but still what he did can't be easily forgotten in just a snap.
Brent smiled widely after our lips parted.
I couldn't even move. I stared at him in disbelief. I am still dumbfounded.
Yes, I've been fantasizing this for how many years. But still, this felt surreal. Gusto ko siyang suntukin pero hindi ko magawa.
He was my first kiss actually. Glad I saved my first kiss for him. Pero, naiinis ako!
I remained still. I heard him calling my name but I ignored it.
"Hey," untag niya.
"Ha?"
I called Brent a while ago to make up to him. I really need to apologize to him. Hindi na naman ako makakatulog nito. But, he didn't respond to any of my texts and call. I sighed. Pang ilang buntong hininga ko na ba ngayon.Did he get tired of me? Alam ko namang sobrang tigas ng ulo ko. Pero, sana hindi niya ako sukuan agad.I've been staring blankly at the wall. Nakatakip ang kanang braso ko sa mata ko habang ang unan ko nama'y nakadantay sa paa ko.Bukod kay Brent, isa pa ang inaalala ko, si kuya. I sat up. Right, si kuya. Nasaan na kaya iyon? I jumped from my bed and went to kuya's room. But kuya was not around. I immediately dialled his number. Pero, walang sumasagot. I remembered kuya passed out the last time. Binalutan agad ako ng kaba.
The smile in my lips was still evident when I got home. My eyes immediately caught kuya at the sofa watching t.v."Hi kuya." He looked at me and smiled."Okay ka na?" Tanong ko habang nagtatanggal ng sapatos. Umupo ako sa tabi ni kuya pagkatapos no'n. "Kuya.""Sorry for making you worry but I'm okay Yna,""Kuya, Ano ba kasing nangyayari?"He looked at me and his face saddened. "Di ko na alam gagawin sa buhay ko Yna,""Bakit?""Fuck this life!" Gigil nitong hayag sabay sabunot sa kanyang buhok."Kuya.., ano ba kasi 'yon?""Nakabuntis ako, Yna. That was just a one night stand years ago. Hindi ko alam." Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi ni kuya. Did I hear it right?"P-paano?""Tangina talaga, 'di ko pa mahanap kung nasaan na 'yung babae. Tapos, si Jenny pa putangina kasi. Kung kailan gusto ko na siya tsaka pa siya nagkaroon ng Chase. Ang sarap basagin ng mukha ng h*******k na 'yon!""Kuya.. Don't you think ate Jenny deserves to be happy? Hayaan mo na lang siya maging masaya. Napapagod din ka
He flashed a smile. That smile made my heart jumped in glee. I gulped when his hot breath lingered on my skin as his face rested in my neck trailing little kisses there. "I love you Yna," I blushed. Bakit ba kanina niya pa 'ko pinapakilig? Halos himatayin na ako e.We both seated in silence. Lumingon pa ako para tingnan siya. Siya nama'y nakatuon lang atensyon sa kisame."Brent..." I called and he looked at me. "Bakit hindi pwedeng sabihin kung bakit wala ka kanina? I mean, kung bakit late ka, paano ko maiintindihan?" He remained silent for a moment."Can we just savor the moment, Yna? I know you still have many uncertainties and questions in mind, pero pwede bang ibigay mo na lang sa 'kin 'to?" His eyes looked weary and tired. I wonder why. Fine! Kung ayaw niya sabihin,
A woman who's strong outside may look fragile in the inside especially when someone played her feelings.Iyong pakiramdam na pinaglaruan ka. That's what I'm feeling right now. I squeezed my chest to stop the pain. I wanted this! Pero, ang hirap .. sobra.I know my worth. I'm someone worth to be kept. Hindi ako sinasayang! Manigas si Brent, kung ayaw niya sabihin sa akin ang rason edi wag.Alam kong player siya, pero 'wag niya namang paglaruan ang feelings ko!Days after the break up left me a huge hole in my heart. Wala na siya na tatawag sa umaga para manggising, wala na siya na makikita ko bago matulog. It's so empty without his presence. I've wanted him so much.. but wanting him isn't enough. How could I trust hi
"Yna!" I heard him but I ignored him and walked towards the stairs. Tsaka ko na lang napansin, ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko. I wiped it using the back of my hand."Yna!" I stopped when he held my arm. Napaharap ako sa kanya pero nanatili akong nakayuko, avoding his glance."Yna, please..." He groaned."Bakit okay lang sa 'yo Brent na laging saktan ako?" I asked as soon as I got the courage to face him. Hindi ko na inabala 'yung itsura ko habang kaharap siya."Yna...""Do you enjoy playing with my feelings? Does it make you happy whenever you hurt me?""Yna, please... Call me whatever you want to, but never d
Since, today is the start of our vacation I am still thinking of what to do today. Tsaka, kailangan ko talaga ng pampatanggal ng stress. Buong semester pa namang sobrang hassle, isama mo pa si Brent! Naiinis pa rin ako sa kanya kagabi, pero hindi ko naman siya masisisi. I agreed with this set up. Alam ko na rin talagang, I can never be his priority since he's with 'Danica'I haven't met her though pero alam mo 'yun nandoon ang takot ko.Kami ni Brent pero hindi legal. Siya ang legal and I could easily picture out what would happen if people would know us.Ayoko rin namang magmukmok na lang sa buhay. Hindi rin naman ako makapagtambay kila Rashiel kasi wala na siya rito, ganun din kay Maggie. Bakit ba kasi parehong malalayo ang mga kaibigan ko?
"A-Anong gagawin ko?"Lumapit siya sa akin at pinisil ang braso ko. "Pwede ka bang magtago sa c.r? Ngayon lang, Yna. Promise gagawa ako ng paraan para mapahiwalay na sa kanya. Do you trust me?"Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya kaya wala akong ibang ginawa kung hindi ang tumango na lang bilang tugon."Alright. Thank you, Yna. I love you," he said as he kissed my forehead. Pumunta naman ako sa banyo niya malapit sa kusina.Isinarado ko iyon at umupo malapit. I could hear their voice. I have not braced myself for this scenario. Mas masakit pala talaga kapag nandito na ako sa sitwasyon."Hi, babe.""Why you here?"
I know, what I've said were too much. But I would never get it back. Ayoko na talaga! Suko na ako!Kung pagod siya, mas pagod ako.Una pa lang, alam kong talo na ako pero sinugal ako. Ganun naman talaga ang laro ng pag-ibig, sa kaso ko ang natalo at pinaglaruan.I should've walked away from him at the first place. I should've let him in my life again. It would be better if he didn't come back. Mas kaya ko. Mas tanggap ko na sana.Kahit na alam kong hahanapin ako nila kuya, umalis ako. Hindi ko na nga alam kung saan ako dinala ng mga paa ko basta ang alam ko kailangan kong umalis.Walang hiya talaga siya kahit kailan! Magsama sila Danica! Tangina nilang dalawa!