“I didn't mean to…” I said quietly.
David was about to walk over to me when someone reached out to grab his shoulder and pulled him back. “Everything okay?”
I looked up and saw Elliot; it gave me such a relieving feeling as I saw him.
David looked at Elliot before shrugging off his hand, “Everything's fine.” he answered back.
“Well, you better go then,” he tells him and David slowly started to walk away.
David took a last look over and we made eye contact, but I turned away quickly.
“Thanks…” I said as I moved to pick up the books from the ground.
“No problem. I was trying to figure out where you went off to,” he said as he moved to sit on the chair beside me.
I looked at the books for a second before putting them on the table and I no longer feel like working on my assignment anymore. “He’s kind of…” I said but I didn't know how to finish that sentence.
“Scary? Intimidating?” Elliot asked and sighed as he shrugged his shoulder. “He can be a dick, but don't let him get to you. He just has a bad reputation.”
I nod as I wipe my hands over my pants before turning to Elliot. “Hey, what are you doing after school?" I ask him.
Elliot raised an eyebrow before shrugging his shoulder, “Nothing. Why?”
“Mind if I get a ride home?” I asked him.
“No, it's fine. I can do that,” he answered, smiling.
I don't know why, but being around Elliot has started to give me a comfortable feeling and we’re getting along better compared to our first meeting.
“Thank you,” I said.
The bell rang making me remember that lunch was over and I moved to put my books back in my backpack.
“Well, come on. I’ll walk with you for a bit.” Elliot said as he stood up.
“Yeah,” I said as I got up as well and there was an awkward silence before we made our way out towards the hallway.
Elliot walked beside me for a while before he had to go towards a different direction and I waved at him seeing him disappear. I found my classroom soon after and I sat in the middle back where there was an empty chair. This could be the most difficult class for me since we will be having group projects and lab work. I've never liked science, but I was never that great with group projects and having to do presentations in front of the class. I feel like people are smarter compared to me and I wouldn’t be holding them back from a better grade if I wasn't involved. When class started, the teacher handed me a syllabus list of projects to be expected and of course, we'll be having three group projects for the semester. I sighed as I began to sort out my work and catch up on the lesson that was written on the board.
The next week or two could just be me working on extra work material and possible extra credit if I can't keep up with the lessons. I might have to look for a tutor because of two classes I might struggle with. I couldn't understand the worksheet they handed out. Now that I have all this work, all I want to do is go home and lay down on my bed. Forget about school and make myself forget that I even have homework. Maybe I should consider homeschool just to finish the rest of the school year, but that was just a ridiculous thought. As much as that would be easier on me, I know that it’ll just make me become more antisocial than I’ve already become.
The third period went by so fast, but I never had any issues with any of my classmates and I had no problem with the work. I went to my last class of the day and changed into my gym clothes and looked around once outside; I tried to see where my class would be. I was careful moving around and tried to make sure I wasn't in anyone's way as I figured out if I might have to look for a teacher instead.
“Hey! Michael!” I heard Elliot called out.
I turned around and saw him walking over to me. “Hi,” I said.
“You're okay?”
“Yeah. Just really tired.” I answered as I looked around before turning to him. “I'm still not sure where my class is at.”
“Hm, what teacher do you have?” he asks as he looks around the field.
“Cruz,” I tell him.
“You have it easy. Cruz doesn't do much aside from making you run laps then does free-play,” he said before pointing out to the basketball court. “Your class lines up there.”
“And you?”
“I have a separate class. I'm on the volleyball team so our coach put the team in his gym class to give us extra work out when we don't have after-school practice,” he tells me.
I nod as I thought about it before turning to him. “How long have you been playing?” I asked.
“Since freshman year,” he answered.
I nod and I wasn't too sure what to say when suddenly the bell rang and we had to part again.
“Alright. I'll see you later.” I said as I started to make my way.
Elliot was right when he said that the teacher was a bit lazy with his lessons because all he had us do was a couple of exercises and let us walk around the track until the bell rings. I watched a couple of people walking ahead of me with their group of friends while the other classes were busy doing drills or playing on the basketball court or playing baseball. I didn't mind the walk since I've never been the athletic type, but what else am I supposed to do besides walking alone or should I even bother trying to join a group when I'm not too welcomed? I sighed as I paused for a bit and looked around the field when I noticed a girl from my class started walking over to me.
“Hello,” she said awkwardly as she came beside me and she looked just as uncomfortable as I felt. “I'm Jennifer. I'm in the same class with you in Ms. Lang, from first-period, and also I’ve been meaning to introduce myself to you.”
“I'm Michael,” I said.
“I only wanted to say that if you need help with anything in our class or anything else, you can always ask me.” She said as we both started walking and she gave me a small smile. “I know Elliot is there to help out, but he can be a little stupid sometimes and acts like he knows everything.”
“You know Elliot?” I asked her.
“Kind of. My brother was on the volleyball team with him before he quit this year so I was able to see him a couple of times during tournaments or home-games,” she answered.
I nod. “Well, thanks for offering your help.”
“It's fine. I know it must be difficult being new and maybe you're confused with the homework or the lessons.” She said. “I usually do group tutoring sessions with a few friends after school which was why I wanted to see if you would like to join us.”
“Oh,” I said as I thought about joining a group of strangers.
"Don't worry. You don't have to come to the group sessions. I can always do private tutoring if you want." she said as she saw my hesitation. “Group sessions are every Tuesday, Wednesday, and we offer sign-ups if people want to meet on Fridays. It's all in the school library since it's open until six.”
I thought about this and I took a deep breath. “I actually do need a bit of help... I was completely lost in class and you guys are on a different lesson plan compared to my other school.”
She smiled and nodded, “Well, as I said, if you want a private tutor we can set it up. Just come by and we can work out a schedule.” she said.
“Are you charging for these meet-ups?” I asked.
“Oh no. I do it for summer jobs, but I just like to help out and there's a program in the school that I volunteer in," she said. “I just know how hard it is being new in school. My family moved twice in elementary and middle school so I know how difficult it can be.”
I nodded as I turned to her and took a deep breath. “I'll come, but I won't be coming by until maybe next week. I'm still trying to adjust to everything and I'm sure you saw how I was in Ms. Lang's class on my first day; plus today.”
Jennifer nods as she brushes her hair behind her ears. “I saw. It was a bit weird. They tried to explain, but it was just something I didn't think was real.”
Hearing her say how weird it is kind of made me look down. “I know. Sorry about that. New environments are just hard to adjust to. I have a problem with people touching me or a certain way people react makes me feel uneasy. It's difficult to explain.”
She nods, frowning slightly. “Seems like it's a burden.”
I opened my mouth but paused for a second before turning to her, “Hey, Jennifer, where do you sit in Ms. Lang’s class?” I asked her.
“In the back; maybe three or four rows behind you,” she answered.
“Mind if I sit with you tomorrow?” I asked her.
She smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I don't mind.” she answered.
We continued on walking for a couple more minutes and Jennifer would comment about the students or about the class to help keep the conversation going. It actually felt nice that I finally made at least one friend, beside Elliot, and it wasn't something I was expecting. Jennifer seemed like someone who had good intentions. It was nice of her to offer to help when I wasn’t expecting it from anyone in the school; besides the teachers. The bell rang for us to return to the locker room and we both went our own way. I waited a couple of minutes outside the building waiting for there to be less of a crowd inside then quietly changed into my clothes. When I finally came outside I saw Elliot waiting for me and we both began to make our way to the parking lot.
“So, how was class?” he asked.
“It actually wasn't so bad in the end,” I tell him.
“I saw you were talking to someone earlier,” he comments.
“Yeah, Jennifer. She's in our first period and she offered tutoring sessions after school. She said you know her?” I ask him.
“Oh yeah, I do. She's a really nice person. I say go for it, it can help you catch up on the classwork.” he said.
We got inside the car and I set my backpack down. “I was thinking of that. I'm actually really behind so I might have to take up that offer.” I said and sigh. “I'm so tired of today.”
“You're finally going home,” Elliot said and smiled. “But, hey, you made it through the whole day.”
“Yeah, with your help,” I said and turned to him as he started driving out of the school lot. “Mind if we can hang out again? Like outside of school.”
Elliot glanced over at me before focusing on the road and nodded, "Sure. You have something in mind?" he asks.
“I just want to go out more. As I said, I want to do better and that just means I need to step out of my boundaries.” I said as I looked down. “It feels a little embarrassing to say this, but I honestly feel like I can trust you and I’m starting to be comfortable with it.”
Elliot blushed a bit and I heard him chuckle. “You're modest.” He mumbled.
“Sorry. I hope that wasn't embarrassing.” I said and quickly got out of the car once he parked at my house. “We don’t have to if you're busy.”
“It wasn't embarrassing,” Elliot said, calling me back. “I'm glad that you trust me because I was hoping you would. How about Saturday? We'll hang out; go to the movies or go bowling or hang out at the mall.”
I looked at him for a long second before nodding, “Alright. I don't mind any of that. It's been a while since I've done something.”
“Alright. Sounds like a plan.” He said. “I'll see you tomorrow. I can come by and pick you up again if you want.”
“If you don't mind,” I said.
The rest of the week went by much easier with only a few problems that weren't so hard to deal with and my anxiety towards school began to ease. Elliot has been coming by to pick me up every morning and after school, he brings me home; which seemed like a routine for us now. David has also kept his distance in class and I was more relieved by that because I wasn't ready to have a bully messing with me while I'm still adjusting. Jennifer helped me during class when I needed it and I finally decided on taking her offer for the tutoring sessions as well. It would help me catch up in class and not lower my grades and it also helps me be more social.Saturday finally came, Elliot and I are planning to go out, but we haven't planned on what we are going to do for the day. In a way, I was really nervous because I didn't know where we were going or how crowded the place would be or will I have any problems getting around. It's barely ten in the morning and Elliot said he was going to
“What do you want to do?” He asked me.“I’m fine,” I tell him. “Let’s just keep going.”Elliot nodded as we started walking, but Elliot stayed beside me and he led me towards the restaurant he was talking about. We took a seat in a booth that overlooked both the ocean and the beach and we both stayed quiet as we looked at the menu they handed us. The menu was mostly seafood and I didn’t mind it because I always liked a few seafood items. He put his menu down as if he already knew what to order and glanced a look at me.“Are you hungry?” Elliot asked, breaking the silence.I took a deep breath and nodded, “Yeah, I can eat.” I said trying to compose myself.He nods as a server came to our table and asked the type of drinks we wanted.“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.I turned away, distracting myself by looking at the ocean, and tried to fi
A couple of days passed, I was able to go to the tutoring sessions with Jennifer, but I kept my distance with the other students. The help kept me up to date with work assignments and in no time I finally understood the questions in my homework. I still felt nervous about going to my classes and I haven't had the chance to get to know anyone in the classroom but at the moment I didn’t find it so important. Elliot still came by and he returned to being a teacher's aid in Ms. Lang's class so he stopped sitting beside me. I didn't mind it because Jennifer helped me when I needed it, but it also reminds me that I shouldn't be dependent on him because of the challenges I faced. The only problem I have is David; always trying to bump me whenever he has the chance and every time he does I always tend to freeze up, but I can't tell that to Elliot.He wasn't doing much besides pushing me slightly when he bumps me on the shoulder, but I hate it whenever he does this. It disgusts
I paused a bit before walking back to our spot and sat down again. We were quiet for a bit before I sigh and lay back on the blanket. I tried to figure out what to say to break our silence, I looked at the sky before closing my eyes and ran my fingers over the top of my head, feeling the curls of my hair.“I don't want to tell you,” I said finally. “I don't want to tell anyone about it. All that happened was terrible and I remember it almost every day. My parents didn't know about it until it sent me to the hospital and to see their faces afterward…”“You don't have to tell me..." Elliot said turning to me.I sighed as I knew more or less how this conversation was going to go ended and I glanced over at him. “Don't you ever think about all that happened with your dad and doesn’t it ever affect you?” I asked.He squinted his brow as he thought about it before he shrugged his shoulders. “It did be
I slowly got up and we walked back to collect the blanket, thankful that we were done for today. I didn't want to continue the conversation because I didn't know how I could after what I said and I don't think he was ready to hear the rest. I wasn’t ready to have a serious conversation and to see his reaction afterward. I haven't said Chris's name in a while and I didn't think I would be this comfortable to talk about him; sort of. I wasn't too sure if it was good to talk about the past because now I’m having flashbacks of events that I tried to forget and I had to watch Elliot distract myself before letting these thoughts get the best of me. We walked back to the car and it was still silent so I thought maybe I had to say something before it was too late.“I'm sorry,” I said.“For what?” he asked.“I feel like you're mad about what I said,” I said.“I'm not mad,” he answered.I looked dow
I finally made it to school with a good ten minutes to spare so I went over to the library to drop off the books that I checked out and made my way upstairs towards my first-period class. When I walked into the room I didn't see Elliot so I walked over to my desk and waited for Jennifer to come to sit beside me. A lot of the people in the class have gotten used to the seating around me and they hardly ever spoke a word to me unless we're passing around worksheets or asking small questions. I pulled out my notebook for the class and was trying to figure out what to say to Elliot when I saw him later on in the day, but I couldn't think of what I wanted to say to him or what to explain. Was there anything for me to say? Do I owe him an explanation?Elliot came in, instantly turned to look over at me, but I kept my head down and pretended I was writing in my notebook. He was about to make his way over when the bell rang and he stopped to go over to his seat by the teacher’s
I explained to her, with some details of the event, and she soon made a phone call on my emergency card seeing that I was fit to go home. My mom arrived after twenty minutes of passing and we walked quietly to the car unsure of what to say to each other. We got in the car and drove to the house when I noticed that she wasn't getting out of the car with me.“You're going back to work?” I asked.“Yeah, I only asked for a break. Are you going to be okay?” she asked.I nod, “Yeah... I'm sorry about all that.” I said.“It's okay, honey. We can talk more about it when I get back,” she said.I went inside and locked the door behind me, not bothering to turn on the lights as I walked over to my room. I lay down on my bed after putting my backpack down at the door and I pulled the cover over myself taking a deep breath as I tried to go to sleep. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep, I felt like I
I lay there quietly and knew that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep so easily and I knew that I would be up a little longer than I would want to. I wasn't too sure how long time had passed and if he was asleep or not because it was too quiet. I shifted as I tried to get comfortable and I finally yawned, showing that I was growing tired. Thinking about it, it was nice of him to come by and to check on me as well. But I felt like he had to because of what happened earlier today and it wasn't a situation that can be ignored so lightly as well. Maybe he was worried that I would do something and he only came by because he wanted to keep an eye on me. These thoughts were only getting me upset so I sighed and tried to ignore everything that I was thinking about. I had to try and sleep or I'll be up all night trying to pick a battle with these thoughts that I'm having. I can't be doing this to myself.I didn't wake up until morning at the usual time I woke up for school and I turned