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Chapter 18 [2-4]
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2023-07-13 09:19:31Related chapters
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [3-4]
“Michael?” Elliot asked, wanting me to reply to his statement.“I’m listening,” I whispered, turning to look at him and thinking more about his words.“I don’t want you to be upset with yourself or to have any guilty conscience. It was just… I’m trying to inform you that this is also substance abuse or could even lead to it and you’ve used both alcohol and drugs in the past. This is aside from the fact that your friends pressured you to drink, if they continue with this, then you will blindly harm yourself in the long run. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t have that thought and it’s concerning.” Elliot tells me and it felt me speechless.I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to set. “Can we not talk about this anymore?” I asked him.“I’m only telling you from the way I view it and I care about you. I don’t know how much you’ve explained to Doctor Brown about the situation, but with your reaction, it seemed like this is something that you haven’t made yourself a
Last Updated : 2023-07-19Don't Touch Chapter 18 [4-4]
We spent some time holding onto each other until it started to feel cold now that the sun was going down and the wind got a little stronger. I put on my shoes and then helped Elliot clean the blanket before making our way to the car. Elliot was asking what I would be interested in eating, maybe trying to help me be in the mood to have something filling, but I wasn’t too sure how much I could intake. I agreed with something as simple as pizza and we took it home, where my mom was waiting for us. There was this awkward silence around the table; I felt like Elliot wanted to talk with my mom and report about our day, always privately counseling her. I was barely able to finish two slices before putting my plate in the sink and I gave them their time as I excused myself to change my clothes. I washed my feet since it was dirty from stepping on the wet sand and when I came back to my room, Elliot was lying down on my bed. I didn't say anything as I grabbed a new pair of socks and moved to
Last Updated : 2023-07-24Don't Touch Chapter 1
Entering a new school has always gotten the best of me. Thinking about it, this has been my fourth time transferring to another school since my second year of middle school and it never gets easier. I woke up today at four starting my morning by taking a shower, changed into new clean clothes, and was soon pacing around my room deciding that I didn't like the clothes I was wearing. It is always frustrating having to change a few times until I find something comfortable and it only makes me feel hot like I need another shower. It's unbelievably difficult to start school halfway through the year as well and I was barely adjusting in my last school even though I had already attended for a year. I sat on my bed with my hand over my chest feeling my heart pounding and my throat tight making it difficult to breathe.I knew I was already having a panic attack, but I didn't want it to get to me; not yet. Not until the day is over and I can return to my room to cry over this feeling I am having
Last Updated : 2020-09-13Don't Touch Chapter 2
Elliot paused for a second before standing up and staying where he stood. “Just about your condition... that you might not be too open to the class for a while and make sure you're comfortable with the distance between the students.” He said and rubbed the back of his neck. “We're still a little confused about how to be around you…”I shook my head. “It's fine. I'm not planning to be that interactive this semester…” I said, pausing for a second before glancing over at him. “I don't want to go in yet.”“That's fine. I'll go in with you when you're ready.” He said and watched me closely. “So how long have you had this condition?”I glanced over at him and stood up to take a step away from him. “Almost two years... I think… It kind of built up to it a few years before that, so kind of like five years.” I answered.I wasn't too comfortable discussing my haphephobia, but I can answer a few basic questions about it since a lot of people are always curious and I knew I should share some infor
Last Updated : 2020-09-13Don't Touch Chapter 3
During the drive home, it was silent as Mom had nothing else to say and I didn’t want to talk more about what happened. I was exhausted so I went to lay down on my bed after coming home and I closed my eyes hoping to fall asleep. I just want this day to end, but I don't want tomorrow to begin. I don't want to start a new day or even try going to school either. Elliot was only trying to help yet he did everything that I couldn't handle, but I don't blame him either. I want to blame him, but it wasn’t exactly his fault because he doesn’t know what escalated my anxiety. I sighed as I got up walking to the restroom and closed the door behind me as I played some music from my phone while I leaned over the counter. I looked at myself in the mirror before opening the cabinet taking out a bag that hid a small blade and I sat down on the toilet as I took a few breaths starring it. I haven't cut myself for almost a year and there have been a few times where I sat down with the blade in my hand a
Last Updated : 2020-09-13Don't Touch Chapter 4
It was silence between us, again, as we didn't have anything else to say before Elliot got up and turned to me, “Come on.” he said as he pulled out his car keys from his pocket. “Where are we going?” I asked as I stood up to follow him. “Just to get some fresh air,” he said as he opened the door and I locked it behind me. We walked towards his car and we began to head out once I buckled myself in. I didn't mind not knowing where we were going, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if I was even interested in wanting to go anywhere since I still didn’t know the area. I sighed as I looked out the window and realized that we came to a park after he pulled into the parking lot. We got out when he parked and I zipped up my jacket as I felt the cool breeze once stepping outside. Honestly, it was refreshing feeling being outside after I’ve kept myself in my room and getting a little bit of sun. “I haven't gone to the park for a while…” I said as we walked over to an empty picnic table and s
Last Updated : 2020-09-15Don't Touch Chapter 5
I woke up around five-thirty in the morning and slowly got out of bed to grab some clean clothes trying to find something comfortable to wear. I felt a little calmer compared to two days ago, but that anxiety is still there when I think about my day and I'm trying hard to not freak out just yet. I tried taking deep breaths as I’m getting myself ready and during that time I’m playing with the rubber band on my wrist trying to calm myself down a bit. Mom left me breakfast on the stove before leaving to work and I was standing at the door after I ate. It's only been a couple of minutes before seven and I checked my backpack to see if I had everything; checked if I had my house keys in my pocket and double-checked if I turned off the lights in my room. I finally stepped outside and made my way when I saw Elliot already there.“How long have you been waiting?” I asked.He shrugged his shoulders, “Five minutes, maybe.” he said before smili
Last Updated : 2020-09-16Don't Touch Chapter 6
“I didn't mean to…” I said quietly.David was about to walk over to me when someone reached out to grab his shoulder and pulled him back. “Everything okay?”I looked up and saw Elliot; it gave me such a relieving feeling as I saw him.David looked at Elliot before shrugging off his hand, “Everything's fine.” he answered back.“Well, you better go then,” he tells him and David slowly started to walk away.David took a last look over and we made eye contact, but I turned away quickly.“Thanks…” I said as I moved to pick up the books from the ground.“No problem. I was trying to figure out where you went off to,” he said as he moved to sit on the chair beside me.I looked at the books for a second before putting them on the table and I no longer feel like working on my assignment anymore. “He’s kind of…” I said but I didn
Last Updated : 2020-09-16
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Don't Touch Chapter 18 [4-4]
We spent some time holding onto each other until it started to feel cold now that the sun was going down and the wind got a little stronger. I put on my shoes and then helped Elliot clean the blanket before making our way to the car. Elliot was asking what I would be interested in eating, maybe trying to help me be in the mood to have something filling, but I wasn’t too sure how much I could intake. I agreed with something as simple as pizza and we took it home, where my mom was waiting for us. There was this awkward silence around the table; I felt like Elliot wanted to talk with my mom and report about our day, always privately counseling her. I was barely able to finish two slices before putting my plate in the sink and I gave them their time as I excused myself to change my clothes. I washed my feet since it was dirty from stepping on the wet sand and when I came back to my room, Elliot was lying down on my bed. I didn't say anything as I grabbed a new pair of socks and moved to
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [3-4]
“Michael?” Elliot asked, wanting me to reply to his statement.“I’m listening,” I whispered, turning to look at him and thinking more about his words.“I don’t want you to be upset with yourself or to have any guilty conscience. It was just… I’m trying to inform you that this is also substance abuse or could even lead to it and you’ve used both alcohol and drugs in the past. This is aside from the fact that your friends pressured you to drink, if they continue with this, then you will blindly harm yourself in the long run. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t have that thought and it’s concerning.” Elliot tells me and it felt me speechless.I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to set. “Can we not talk about this anymore?” I asked him.“I’m only telling you from the way I view it and I care about you. I don’t know how much you’ve explained to Doctor Brown about the situation, but with your reaction, it seemed like this is something that you haven’t made yourself a
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [2-4]
We both didn’t say anything as Elliot kept his focus on the road and I kept my eyes out the window seeing the view change. I always enjoy seeing the beach view and maybe being out would be a nice breather like he suggested. It took a bit of time for Elliot to find parking and we made our way over to an area that was less crowded. Now that we’re near summer, it was a nice day to be at the beach and it wasn’t so hot that I had to take off my sweater. As always, Elliot took out a blanket from the trunk of his car like he’s always prepared and we laid it out after we found a nice spot away from the pier. It felt like we were the only people on the beach, giving me this secure feeling.“Are you sure that you’re not hungry?” Elliot asked after noticing the time. “I’ll eat after we are done here,” I said while looking over the ocean view and seeing the water shining from the sunlight.“But you like to stay here for hours,” Elliot retorts and tilts his head to look at me closer.I shrugged m
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [1-4]
I sat up suddenly and felt my hands shaking, knowing I’d woken up from another nightmare. Why was this one real compared to the other one I had? Why did I remember something from the past that I was able to forget? No, I’m going to forget about it again like it never happened. I don’t want more memories from the past to resurface and affect me like before. It took me a moment to remember that I was in my bedroom and I reached a hand out to the spot beside me. I didn’t feel Elliot's hand and looked over to see his side of the bed empty. I tried to stay calm as I looked around my room trying to figure out if he had left while I was sleeping, but that wouldn’t be something that Elliot would do. “Elliot?” I called out in a small voice. Did he go home? No, he said that he was going to stay for a while and wasn’t going to leave without telling me. I tried not to feel overwhelmed as I pulled the covers off and checked the restroom, hoping he was in there. I stepped out to the hallway, hear
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [3-3]
For a second, I wondered if we shouldn’t be holding each other like this, but does this mean that he still cares for me, or is he only being kind? If we had been like this before I fell asleep, I might not have had that dream. The thought about the dream had me shivering as I recall Chris’s face and I moved a bit away from Elliot, but he still had me in his arms. He must have noticed my discomfort and I felt his hands patting my back, trying to comfort me. I’m starting to feel a bit of pain in the pit of my stomach and I know it’s all the stress from having the panic attacks to the night terror. “I’m tired,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted again. “You’re going to be tired the whole day if you don’t rest,” Elliot replied. “I know… I’m already getting a stomach ache,” I said, then sighed, feeling a little pain. “And I was feeling that earlier at my dad’s house.” “Do you need some medicine?” He asked me. “I think so,” I said, sitting up. “Stay here. I’ll get it for
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [2-3]
I closed my eyes, trying to get comfortable, and it felt easier to fall asleep with Elliot beside me. At least I know he is here supportively and he chose to stay the night because he wanted to; not just to watch over me out of spite. Even if he was here to comfort me and nothing more, I’m thankful he let me lean on him, even if it’s only for tonight. I opened my eyes, wanting a little peek, and he looked like he was already sound asleep; maybe he was already tired before coming to pick me up. There was something I wanted to ask him about our relationship, but I was also afraid to hear the answer, or I was only hoping for an answer that I wanted to hear. I turned over, away from him, and closed my eyes, knowing I was only trying to distract myself from sleeping. For a while, I could hear the soft breathing coming from Elliot, and hearing him was a nice reminder that I wasn’t alone. A sudden flashing light disturbed me and I raised a hand trying to block it; maybe I left the blinds op
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [1-3]
Chapter 17When we entered the house, I went to the kitchen and decided I needed my anxiety pill. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.“Water is fine,” He answered.I grabbed two bottles of water and handed them to him as we moved to sit on the couch. “You really don’t mind staying?” I asked him.Elliot took the bottle of water and had a small sip, “I don’t mind.”I moved to lean against the armrest and face him as we sat on the long couch. “Before I called you, I was in the guest room trying to relax but I was going through both panic attacks and anxiety,” I told him while looking down at the bottle of water. “All those feelings came to me that I began to doubt myself... Every time I see Chris, alarm bells go off in my head and my body yells that I need to leave. Runaway, hide, or find a way to disappear.”Elliot reached out to hold my wrist and the touch grabbed my attention, “And now your home, far away from him. Remember that he’s not going to hurt you here.”“Come on, E
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [4-4]
I looked into the living room, and I saw Ally on the ground playing with her toys while Caesar sat beside her, looking down at his phone. “When did she wake up?” I asked.He looked up and put his phone away, “About ten minutes ago… You look worse.”I moved to sit on the floor with them and Ally crawled over to me. “I called Elliot and he’s going to come by,” I told him and put Ally on my lap with her stuffed bear. “Is it okay if you wait until he gets here?”“Yeah,” He nodded as he reached into his pocket and handed me a paper. “They want you to call this number and you can tell them what happened. It’s Chris’s probation officer and they said that he will get a fine after breaking his restraining order.”I looked down at the paper, “A fine? That’s it?” I asked him.“Since he didn’t do anything, there isn’t much they can do besides that, and if he had done something, they could have him in jail for over six months,” Caesar said, leaning back to rest against the couch.“But that sounds
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [3-4]
It was quiet on the walk back to my house and Caesar laid Ally down on her crib after I showed him the way to the bedroom. I was able to calm down a bit, but my hands were still shakey and I knew that this anxious feeling wouldn’t go away. I watched as Caesar closed the door behind him and rubbed my arm nervously, taking the lead back downstairs. I led him to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and took a small sip while Caesar stood behind me, leaning against the counter. It's my fault for being careless and going out when I’ve already been warned that he’s back in town. What would have happened if I was alone or if Caesar didn’t show up at the right time?“Thanks for helping me,” I whispered.“Well, it wasn’t like he could do much without having to put himself in jail and I’m not sure how you would have been if he stayed longer.” He said and looked me over like he was being cautious with his words. “You should be careful having these panic attacks while holding your sister… It looked
