Chapter 1: To Borrow My Husband

“The number you are calling is busy at the moment. Please try your call later.”

“Really? Your husband is out of reach, out of all goddamn time?” Abby scorned. “What is Damian up to these days? Does he even know that your son is sick?”

A forced smile was the only thing I could give Abby. Truth be told, reaching out to Damian has started to become more difficult these days. He was always busy, as he always say. There was even a time he wasn’t going home for a couple of days straight. He would send a message that he wouldn’t, though.

But I wouldn’t tell Abby. She would definitely blow. She would get mad at Damian, and that was the least thing I’d want in this situation.

My son was sick. He was inside the room beside us, and a fight or an argument wouldn’t help Elon to become better.

I sighed, before I put my phone on my back pocket to head inside the room.

“Mommy…” Elon wearily called me as I walked in. “Is daddy coming?”

My chest tightened. I tried to smile to reassure Elon but I wasn’t sure it worked. I was positive I wasn’t able to erase all the distress and concern look in my eyes.

“He is.” I sat on the edge of the bed and carefully held his hand. “He’s coming, Elon.”

Every word that came out felt like fire. Sure, Damian would go once he find out we’re in the hospital. But I wasn’t sure it’d be any sooner.

I bit my lip, looking at my own sunshine with sorrowful joy. I wanted to comfort him, but I can’t lie no more. He wanted his dad here, and I cannot make him suddenly appear. I couldn’t help but get teary-eyed thinking Elon would wait for him until the night comes… and when Damian fails to appear, his expectations would break and he’d be sad, again.

I licked my lips and looked up for a brief moment to hold back my tears. “Is there anything else you want, baby? Any food? You want ice cream?”

“Hey, Elon baby, why don’t you tell your momma what you want so she could go and get them for you?” Abby moved forward to get Elon’s attention. “I’ll stay here with you when she goes and we can watch or play.”

I breathed hard. When I looked back at him, he was already smiling. “I want burger…. and daddy Damian. Can my mom get those for me?”

I felt like my system broke down hearing rays of hope from his voice. Certainly, I could get him a burger. I would buy a whole burger shop for him, but the latter would still let him down. He wanted Damian here… and what kind of mother am I if I can’t even grant those requests?

“Alright. Mommy will go and get those for you..” I smiled. “You stay with Aunt Abby here, okay?”

“I love you, mommy…” Elon returned the smile, and it was the kind of smile he’d wear whenever he’s happy and excited.

I swallowed hard. With a heavy heart, I turned around to leave the room. I lost my control and burst into tears there. My legs, that I had been forcing to work properly start to turn jelly. My breaths were getting ragged and I wasn’t sure I could make it until the parking lot.

I couldn’t contain it. Even if I tried to cover my mouth so my cries wouldn’t be heard, I sobbed and willingly let my tears stream down my face. It was too much for me.

Damian creating higher and tougher walls. Elon getting sick. It was suffocating for me. When did our perfect life became so… ruined?

I shut my eyes closed. My lips were quivering. Right, when I had miscarriage on our first baby and learned that I cannot get pregnant anymore.

“Mrs. Alistair, I called on Sir Damian’s office. He wasn’t there.”

I drew a deep breathe and wiped my tears. I looked up to my secretary, whose eyes reflected uneasiness. She was probably taken aback to see me in this state so I tried to look as collected as possible, only it was a useless attempt.

“Ready the car. We’re going to Damian,” I managed to say with all the strength I had left.

“Sorry?”

I walk past her. “To Capitol Villa, Alicia.”

I headed out the hospital with my heart on my palm. Though my insides still crawl and I felt like I was going to throw up any moment, I held on to my last bit of courage to get to where my husband was.

I lied.

I told Abby I didn’t know where he was. I told my son a lot of times he was busy when all he wanted was to see his father. I convinced myself he was just busy.

But I knew. Goddamn I knew where he was all this time. Why he was not coming home, why he was out of reach, why our marriage was falling apart. I goddamn knew it all. I was just scared to admit it.

“Ma’am, you’re not think your husband is here, are you?” Alicia asked with curiosity and doubts.

It was Elon’s surrogate mother’s house we were in front of. It was my own sister, Elizabeth’s house I was in front of. To face my fears and accept what had been occurring behind our perfect picture.

To borrow my husband.

“To whom do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Eleanor?” A sweet smile, tone dripped with honey, and a lambent pair of eyes were all that it took for me to confirm it.

He was here after-all.

“I want to see my husband, Elizabeth.”