On my way to our agreed location, I was clouded with thoughts. What would happen from hereon, how we would tell Elon about our separation, how he would react. What will my father say? If news spread about Damian and Elizabeth, it would ruin his name. It would affect his candidacy.
Everything would be out of my control and somehow… although I knew I did what I could to not let it uncover the ugliest way, it was still troubling.
Unwittingly, my right hand moved towards left to touch the cold ring sitting on my fourth finger. I traced the stones on the side, before I looked down on it like I was meeting its significance eye to eye. My heart thundered. I have worn this ring so long, it now feels like a part of my skin.
It was a testament of our love… that has turned to a material about to lose its purpose.
That being said, it hasn’t. So, I let it stay there, and walked out the elevator.
One taxi ride and I arrived at Retro Roastery. Mike was already there, looking over his watch when I caught sight of him.
“I hope I didn’t make you wait,” I approached with a lighthearted banter. “I just had to make sure Elon’s sleeping before I go out.”
“Just on time, Eleanor.” Mike smiled, raising his right hand to get the waitress’ attention. “You brought Elon’s medical consultation and test results, right?”
I nodded. I put my bag on the left side of the table, and handed him the brown envelope where I compiled Elon’s medical records, as well as his treatment plan. Mike reviewed all of it right away, one-by-one.
“What’s your order, Sir?”
“Order for me, Eleanor.” Mike spoke as he continued to scan the documents.
I asked for the menu and ordered two hot chocolate and cinnamon coffee rolls. It was almost eight, so I figured coffee would be out of the equation. The waitress left, and I just sat there waiting for Mike to finish.
“A stage-two..” He mumbled, looking up to me. “What about a second opinion?”
“I’m planning to,” I responded quietly. “If you have a specific person in mind, please let me know. I don’t care how far it is, I’ll take Elon to him.”
Getting a second opinion is what I was also planning before proceeding to the procedure and treatment. I haven’t spoken to Damian about this yet, but if it comes down to receiving treatment, I want Elon to get the best. Certainly, this town wasn’t the right place for that condition.
“I believe Golden Coast Cancer Center would be the best option. Top cancer specialists around the world work on the Golden Coast. I’ve been there.” He suggested, putting all the papers back in the envelope.
Golden Coast is located in California. I have heard of it before.
“I’ll talk to Damian about this. I’ll also have my secretary check Golden Coast.” I breathed hard, and pulled out my phone from my bag to inform Alicia.
Just a little background check is fine, their success rate, maybe knowing a few of their recent patients, too. I trust Mike but knowing all those would put my mind to rest. I want to be sure that what we would attain there wasn’t just hope but a real chance of successful recovery.
“For the meantime, if you want, I could switch patients with Dr. Jullie and handle Elon.” Mike offered, giving me a light smile. “That way I could also get closer to him, and hopefully, help you better.”
Mike’s gentle and kind demeanor made me look up to him. He was really the same Mike that I knew way back— and it feels nice to hear comforting words like that. He was just like Abby.
“I would be happy if you could, Mike.” I let out a small smile. “I owe you.”
“Well…” He raised his brows. “Invite me to your auction tomorrow, maybe eat dinner with me too.”
Lines etched in my forehead. “You know about the auction?” I’m surprised.
“And I’m ready to say yes if you invite me.” He flashed a mischievous smile. “Don’t forget the dinner.”
“You would have to ask Elon for permission.” I looked elsewhere and shook my head a little.
“Consider it done, Eleanor.”
The small talk finished after a cup of hot chocolate. I went back to the hospital with Mike, holding a paper bag from the Retro, since I had my cinnamon as a take-away order for Elon to eat once he woke up.
Damian and I switched. When I entered the room, he left without a word, and I decoded it as his way of asking me to look after Elon that night. I stayed until the afternoon, during which time Elon was transferred to Mike, and the two once again bonded as if they had known each other for a long time.
I was happy with the attention, care, and stories Mike willingly gave Elon. I appreciated that, and thought that I had to give the favor back, no matter what happens, after Elon recovers. To recognize that, I asked Mike out for dinner, with the condition of Abby being there so the three of us could bond together.
But as soon as the clock ticked to four PM, I bid goodbye to Elon. The personal nurse I hired arrived before I left, so I felt a bit relieved as I got ready for the auction. At least, he wasn’t alone.
I also contacted Damian, but as I expected, he didn’t reply, so I just left a message about the scheduled event for tonight.
“Please call Damian when the event starts. Elon wouldn’t be able to sleep without any of us around,” I told Alicia, who was beside me as I stood in front of the mirror.
I had just finished with my hair and make-up. What was left was to wear the black column dress with gold sequins and crystals in the chest and train. It was the final dress my stylist chose.
A supposed dress in paired with a suit. But Damian wouldn’t come.
“I don’t think he’s going to make it to the hospital.”
I looked at Alicia through the mirror, my brows meeting. “What, why?”
“He’s on the list of attendees, apparently, plus one of your sister, Elizabeth.”
I felt a stabbing pain in my chest. Just imagining that I'll have the unfortunate opportunity to see both of them together, live— not just in my head like I used to the past two years, was enough to make me feel suffocated.“A plus-one…” I mumbled, masking the pain with ignorance. “I did not invite Elizabeth.”“Your father did.” Alicia handed me the pad, where the list of the guests, special attendees, hosts, and organizers were listed. Elizabeth and Damian’s names were highlighted yellow— an indication that they were invited from my father’s end.Seeing it in my own two eyes, I was speechless. Nagging what-ifs filled my mind, and I could only draw a deep breath as I tried not to show how I felt. There was a big lump in my throat, and I was a ball of trepidation as I handed the pad back to Alicia.Agitation colored my eyes. My heart ached in despair. The event hadn't even started, but my energy was already drained.“Let’s put your dress on, Mrs. Alistair.” My stylist spoke, nudging me
“Elon..”My legs weakened. I propped my hand at the sink for support, and drew a deep breath as I tried to compose myself. “Elon is my son,” I countered, a bit firmly, meeting her scornful gaze. “I did not say anything about your relationship with Damian, but do not think you can take my son away from me.”For twenty years, my goals revolved around achieving the same things Elizabeth did. I respected her a lot, envied her, made her my role model, even tried to follow her footsteps, except it wasn't very hard because she naturally had that star quality, and a mere imitation like me wouldn't be able to copy that. It wasn't until I was twenty-one that I realized our differences; appreciated who I grew up to be.I started to feel less inferior. I began to have friends who thought I was amazing, and they made me believe I didn't have to be as good as anyone, because I had a great talent and other traits I should be more proud of. Maybe that was the starting point of this huge wall between
"What is it to you, Damian?"I felt an invisible rope around my neck as I looked at Damian with my emotions naked in his eyes. The same moment, I felt like I asked the wrong thing. But I also wasn't sure. Had I asked him about that one thing I have been curious about, would I have been ready for his answer?What is it to him? That was the only question I could throw right now. Why was he here inside my car asking me about a man I have been friends with since college? Those accusing eyes— what made him finally come to me without an emergency?Does being with Mike bother him? Did it pierce his heart, make his knees weak, send shivers down his spine? Did it hurt him as much as it did to me when I went through two whole years pretending I didn’t know about his affair with my sister?I wish. Because none of them have any idea how I managed to get through their betrayal every day. You absolutely have no idea, Damian. How many times I slept on the couch waiting for him to get home, how ofte
We did it many times. But Damian wasn't satisfied just doing it inside the cramped car. We went to the nearest hotel, and I lost track of how many times he claimed my body. His every movement was intense, passionate, hungry.Gone was the gentle Damian who would let me rest after a round or two back when we were still a happy couple. He showed me another side of him that I hadn't seen before; perhaps one that Elizabeth built. But I wouldn't say I hate it. I couldn't bring myself to.I longed for it. As stupid as it may sound, I hoped it would change something between us.I hoped. Because the next day, when I woke up, and tried to reach for the other side of the bed, he was no longer with me. Not even a trace of him was there, and I had to repeatedly force myself to believe it wasn't a dream.It was too vivid to be a dream. So, I got myself ready to see him at the hospital."Mommy!" Elon's cheerful voice was what welcomed me the moment I entered the room— before my eyes fell to his two
I bawled my eyes out.The moment he turned his back on me, I quickly ran in the opposite direction to relieve the pain. I cried in one of the cubicles in the comfort room, covered my mouth so I wouldn't be heard. I ran out of tissues but still, the stinging pain didn't disappear, and I just stood behind the door, waiting for the afflicting woe to dry out.Damian's words echoed in my mind countless times as I feebly hung fire— none of it were clear enough for me to digest. I couldn't understand how he could care for Elizabeth's feelings, and not mine. Above all, I wasn't sure I could put my mind to rest knowing that I still didn't hear the reason he kissed me on the car; the reason he was so mad about Mike.He can't just tell me those were a spur of the moment because it wasn't. His emotions were raw... why? what for?I took a deep breath. I removed my glasses, then rested my back on the swivel chair. I had just finished answering queries from potential clients. Apparently, Alicia was
"Agreed..."The smile on my face collapsed. Just like that, the conversation was interrupted, and the good ambiance circling around was disturbed. Standing up to face him was my initial reaction. Had I not been more careful, I would've voiced out the question that popped in my head as soon as our eyes met.What was he doing here?"I didn't know you're invited." Abby expressed herself the most profound way."This is also my house. I didn't need to be invited." Damian made it clear, raising a brow."I was talking about our conversation, but thanks for reminding me, Damian." Abby answered sarcastically.I returned my gaze to Abby to refrain her from engaging in a discord with Damian. "I'm sorry. I didn't give him a heads-up because I thought he was going to look after Elon."I gently pulled Damian by his arm to take him away from the dining table."That was rude, Damian." I had to say, my face full of discontent. "Why did you come? Elon's going to be all alone.""Elizabeth was there." He
Days passed. Damian and I took turns visiting Elon. It was difficult to dodge Elon’s questions, but facing Damian had begun to feel exhausting, especially since he now often visits Elon with my sister. For that reason, I could not open the topic about asking for a second opinion, as well as taking Elon to California to receive the best possible treatment.I was thinking about doing it this week. No matter what, I was determined to discuss it with him. Further delaying it would only make our son suffer, and that would be the last thing I want right now. Elon was starting to look for his friends, mention his school and teachers. I was afraid his condition would become a reason for him to feel sadder and lonelier. Though I knew it would eventually take a toll on him, I was hoping I could do something to lessen it.“Mommy…” Elon’s voice was filled with distress when he called me. “You’re not going to leave Daddy, right?”I stopped caressing his hair. Elon looked over his shoulder to see m
".... lay low."My body went rigid. My heartbeat slowed, and I halted. Was I hearing things? Did I mishear it? Because there was no way my father would know of their relationship. He may have favored Elizabeth growing up, but he wouldn't condone such a mistake. He wouldn't allow a transgression like that in our family."And back down, dad? We can make stories and manipulate the media. Rumors are just rumors if we can cover them up with some fabricated statements and press releases.""I can't afford to lose this position to Manuel or Roque. Do what I say, or I will not approve of your marriage the moment Damian and Elizabeth divorce."My pulse hammered in my ears, drowning out Elizabeth and Dad's voices from a few meters away. My heart pummeled as I tried to process what I just heard. Fabricating statements? Covering it up? Covering up what, her affair with my husband? She still wanted to deceive the whole world, while openly proving them wrong by showing intimacy in public with Damian
Was I really thankful? I probably only said that to fake composure— so he’d know that even if it affected me, it wouldn’t be enough to break me down which would be quite a stretch to comprehend considering I had been playing dumb for two whole years just so Damian wouldn’t leave me, and my family could keep being my family.Now, when I thought of that, it always reminded me how much of a big decision confronting them was. Yet, even if I turn back time, I knew with certainty that I would done the same. Not just because of Elon, but because of the personal growth, lesson, and courage I earned along the way. I had to stand up for myself, and making that choice helped me alter my course from a more heart-wrenching dilemma. I just knew it would be more worse as time went by and it would probably keep going until nothing was left of me. Not even Elon.After that talk, I buried myself in work. I forced to kept my mind occupied with something more valuable, something that I knew didn't have
I felt like I was standing on a crumbling ground, like the floor beneath me was beginning to give me way and I was free-falling into something dark and endless. It wade my knees weak. “This apology probably wouldn’t mean a single thing to you now. It’s late and I’d understand if you won’t take it…” Damian continued, his voice careful, struggling. “But I thought it was about time we talk about it. So when Elon gets better, and we divorce… everything will be—”“You thought you’ll be able to start with a clean slate if you apologize now?” I asked, breathless. “Eleanor..” He heaved a deep breath. “We’re eventually going to go our separate ways, and it would be better if we could move forward without this issue holding us back.”I wanted to scoffed. Goddamn, if the pain inside me wasn’t stronger than hatred, disappointment, rage and everything else— I definitely would have mop the fact that I wouldn’t move on just because he apologized to me on his face.It wasn’t that easy— and hearing
My fingers curled around the doorknob—and I chastised myself upon giving away seconds of hesitation. Really… After saying that I had enough, that one statement was all it would took for me to swoon and reconsider talking to him?“Okay..” I breathed, not taking my eyes off him. “Let’s hear it.”Let’s talk about it. This will prove my weak resolve when it comes to him, but I wouldn’t pretend to be unbothered and uncurious. He wanted to talk about it suddenly like he owe it to me? Okay. Afterall, I had been dying to hear the answers from him. Why did he cheat on me with Elizabeth? Was it truly because I wasn’t enough?Agreeing to hear him out was pure stupidity. But I didn’t care.“Elizabeth and I started even before you find out. Even before the two years you know…” His throat bobbed as he swallowed, his hands clenching at his sides. I kind of saw that coming. Of course. Elon’s turning eight now. I knew they had been a thing probably after she gave birth, or maybe even before. I expec
“I’m sorry..”Sorry? He was sorry about it?What he said barely registered at first. It felt implausible that I actually thought I was hearing things, but I heard him sigh and take a few steps, which rattled me.So, when I turned, and saw Damian standing a few meters away from me, I intently meet his gaze to try and weight down the emotions lingering there.He was sorry? Was I hearing it right? Damian apologized to me… just as I thought he’d avoid me as I did?I couldn’t do anything when it repeatedly echoed in my mind, clattering something loose in my chest. After all these years, I went through all the pain, all the betrayal, and not once did I ever hear him apologize to me— not even an explanation, or even a reason why he did that. Why now?I struggled to breath. I couldn’t continue walking even if my mind wanted to. I should have walked straight. I should have gone straight to Elon’s room like I intended, ignore him like I planned—like he deserved. But instead, my feet double cro
Chapter 41: Big DecisionI walked down the hall, my fingers tracing the details of my ring on my fourth finger as I moved. My steps were small, making little to no sound. I was afraid Elon would hear me and he’d come to ask me down to continue the small talk we were having before Damian arrived.That, I can’t do right now.I headed to my room— the guest room sitting just beside Elon. Walls painted cream and dark brown, with three of my paintings back when I was college hanging in the wall. It was where I had been staying.And Damian hadn’t said anything about it— just as expected. Surely, he wouldn’t think we’d still share a bed together even after all that. Except the room felt quiet draining when entered. The space felt foreign— or was it the feeling, after letting it all out like a mad woman?I sat in the bed and stared at the floor— then to my right hand where my ring was on. Looking at it pained me, which was strange, because I had always hold on to it because it gave me so much
“I can’t believe this…”My voice trembled despite my best efforts to keep it steady. My hands were shaky. I have given up on saving my composure. The calm and collected facade just dropped and I knew I would have to unknow everything for me to keep a straight face and continue giving that low tone.At this point, I wasn’t even surprise anymore. Not even this powerful, heart-wrenching pain could hold a candle against my building anger. Everything kept pushing me to my edge and I felt so done bein trampled on.No. They couldn’t do that over and over and expect me to apologize even when I was on the wrong."You know what, Damian? It doesn’t even matter anymore. Do whatever you want. Let her move in. Make her feel comfortable.” I breathed hard, trying to end this conversation once and for all. “Do what will help you sleep at night, but just know that you’ll lose your right to Elon.”His brows furrowed. "Eleanor, it’s not—"I angrily shook my head. I wasn’t and didn’t want to give him a ch
Chapter 39: Emerging AngerMy heart was in discord, thrumming with a mixture of uneasiness, and concern. I didn’t really had a choice when he spoke to me looking like that. He sounded impatient, and I definitely didn’t want to throw the good atmosphere in the living room so I stood up and followed, with hesitant movement.We walked upstairs, and went into the master bedroom. I was the one who shut the heavy wooden door behind me, and I felt the tension rightafter.If this was about me not telling him beforehand that we left with Mike, then I could apologize. But why did he look so bothered?“Damian, you weren’t answering my calls, so—”He turned to me with his jaw tauted and his gaze dark with something unreadable. That made me stop— and threatened.I held my breath.I was wrong. This wasn’t just because of that. There was something else and I feel that I could guess what it was.Elizabeth.“What happened this morning, Eleanor?” he finally asked, his voice now low but firm.I let out a
I hesitated. Looking at the new message I was about to send, seconds stretched with anticipation. Was apologizing the right thing? He was late. He wasn’t answering my calls.Would this sound like I was pleasing him too much?My phone buzzed again, disrupting my thoughts. Damian’s name flashed on the screen, and I once again contemplated if I would answer it.But I was sure as hell he’d be mad if I didn’t.I inhaled sharply before swiping towards left. "Hey.""Eleanor," his voice was firm, and edged with somethingI could call displease. "Where are you?"I swallowed. "I just texted you. Mike dropped us off. I—" I hesitated. "I meant to text you earlier, but it slipped my mind. I'm sorry."It must have been when Abby called me on our way home, I didn’t have the chance to inform him.There was a pause on the other end. Not that long, but enough to make my pulse beat fast."You should have," he finally said with his tone neutral. Disappointment was evident, so was irritation. But I didn’t
Mike left. That was our cue to get inside. Elon walked beside me, his small hand in mine. He talked about the cars parked outside, the flowers lining in the pathway—but I could I barely registered his words. My mind was busy pondering over what happened.I wasn’t planning to think about it— but looking at the house made me feel the same tension I felt this morning. I hated to, but it felt like a ghostly scene that I couldn’t get rid of. “Dad didn’t bring his black car. I always thought it’s his best out of his three. It’s super cool!” Elon tugged at my fingers, trying to pull me into his excitement.I forced a small smile. I looked down to him and squeezed his hand lightly. “Yeah. I know, baby. You always tell me that.” I breathed. “Do you want me to borrow your dad’s keys so we could try driving it?”His grin was wide. “Can we?”I nodded. As we reached the entrance, I noticed the doors were already open. Mathilde and Anikka were there, waiting. And they had always been attentive,