Darkness

Darkness

last updateLast Updated : 2023-09-09
By:  D.S. TossellCompleted
Language: English
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Jared and Laynie have been together for years. When Jared gets a great job opportunity in New York he uproots his and Laynie's life and moves out there. Laynie immediately notices Jared's change in personality. He becomes both emotionally and physically abusive towards her.One night, after what seems to be a break-in goes wrong, Jared wakes up in the hospital only to learn he has lost a year of his memories. This includes hurting the one person he swore he would protect with his life. Now Laynie and Jared must get back to who they were before everything went wrong and get to the bottom of the reason behind all the pain.Darkness is created by D.S. Tossell, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

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Chapter 1

Chapter 1

VOLUME ONE: GUILT

Prologue

Have you ever had a moment of complete irony? I once looked up what the definition was. According to Siri irony was, and I quote,

"a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result".

Irony is amusing? I don't think so. Irony can be cruel and hurtful and completely damaging. For me anyways. You see six months ago I would have thought Irony was just a word in the English Dictionary that everyone knew, but couldn't exactly put words to explain. Now I know what Irony truly means, I'm living it.

Laynie

Pain slices through the back of my head at an alarming rate. I can hear a voice in the background, but am unsure of what it is saying. My back lands hard on the kitchen floor. God, I hate our hardwood flooring. Of course, Jared had to have the most expensive hardwood floor that cost sixteen hundred dollars a square foot. I'm not sure why, but when we moved in, he was very specific about what amenities he wanted.

Jared picks my body up not giving me time to brace myself for his fist flying to my nose, the one body part he once told me he loved the most. I scream in agony as he grabs my blouse with his fists and brings my face closer to his. I used to love looking at his beautiful blue eyes. They were so expressive, I could always tell what he was thinking.

"What did I tell you about talking back to me Laynie?" He screams. I didn't even realize that I had spoken back to him.

I try not to say a word. I just do what I always do. I Cry. Weak. I hate being weak.

"Jared, I'm sorry. Please stop!" I cry out, my hands trying to block his.

The pain of his fist flying at my face over and over is unbearable. He stops, grips my hair tight in his grasp and looks at me, I beg for the man that I have known since I was fourteen, to come and rescue me from this monster that has taken over. As usual all I receive is another fist that connects me with the darkness I have come to crave.

Jared

I leave her on the kitchen floor. The darkness has corrupted me once again. Call me a monster, call me a demon, or a woman abuser. I don't and can't control it. The anger I have deep inside chooses when to come out. I can usually suppress it at work, but today was a particularly bad day. My career as a contractor who owns his own business allows me to control it with a secluded environment, but when I'm home the anger takes over. Unfortunately, it happens around my wife. My wife. The woman I used to care for most in the world. The woman that despite being in the damn hospital with a fucking cop hanging over me, will never betray me. Which in turns makes me pissed. She can't read me? Good. Neither can I.

I have always had this darkness in me. Never knew when it started. I was never one of those kids that skinned the neighbor's cats. Never the teenager that grabbed girls inappropriately. Nothing like that. I was just always fucking angry. As I walk into our bedroom, I notice the laundry is not done. It's just sitting there. Not a usual occurrence in this house. Laynie always has the house immaculate when I come home. She never has the laundry out, kitchen messy, nothing. I trip over the occasional shoe, but other than that she is a bit of neat freak.

I glance at the alarm clock on our Bernhardt nightstand. 1:46 pm. Wait, what? I run back out to the kitchen and look at the clock on the wall. 1:47 pm. One whole minute has passed with the realization of me being home 3 hours early. Shit, that's right. I left right after I fired those assholes. I glance at Laynie in the corner of my eye still lying almost lifelessly on the ground. My guilt and shame or maybe embarrassment has me leaning down to her and lifting her face off the ground and onto my lap. I want to ask myself why I have hurt this woman. The same woman that was never hesitant to marry me, even though I took away her dream wedding. She loved me that much. She knew I was in a hurry to get to New York. How many times have I told her she wasn't good enough? How many times have I shown her? How many times has she believed me?I want to blame the darkness that has consumed me but the truth is, I am a coward. I slowly lift her into my arms, my Armani suit being tainted by her blood that has somewhat dried on her lips crusting the edges.

I carry her to our bedroom and lie her in the bed on her back. I would clean her face a bit so it doesn't stick to our Egyptian linens because I know she will turn sometime in her sleep. I should cover her in our blankets, because I know she will get cold in the middle of the night. I should pull her hair up in that weird fucking bun thing she always puts on the top of her head right before she goes to bed. I should, but I don't. I just stare at the woman I have destroyed. I go back to the living room where my bar awaits me in the corner, where my scotch beckons me, and burry my day in that. Because I'm a monster, even if I don't want to be.

Laynie

I awake in a cold sweat. My eyes drift to the left where I'm expecting to find Jared, only I see emptiness. I feel around his side of the bed and my fingers grasps coldness. He hasn't been to bed yet. I look at the clock wondering where my husband could be. I see it's only 8:39 pm. Strange, I never go to bed at this time. Immediately I am reminded of what transpired today. I feel my face, already pinpointing where it is starting to swell. Jared came home early. Way earlier than usual. Jared is usually home by p.m. I have a certain schedule for my days. Between breakfast, the gym, then cleaning when I get home, I barely have time to make him dinner every night. So, when he came home earlier than usual, I had just finished my workout and was working on cleaning.

He came home in a terrible mood. It has been a while since I have seen him that angry. I have no idea why he came home so early. We have had this same schedule for the past year, ever since we moved here. I get up in search for my husband because I'm not sure if he wants his dinner, late or not. Once I'm out of bed, my back screams at me in pain. I look towards our bathroom that is connected to the bedroom, and hesitate. I usually do not want to look at the damage that reflects in the mirror but I don't have a choice tonight. The attorney that is in charge of my mother's estate is coming bright and early tomorrow morning to talk to me about the will and I have put it off long enough.

I slowly go over to the bathroom and grab hold of the doorframe. My face is throbbing in pain and I'm not sure if I want to look and determine if I can cover it in make up or if I just want to call her and reschedule. My mind decides on the latter as I move to the living room. I look around for my husband and my phone, when I discover both at the same time. Jared is sitting behind the couch slouched awkwardly on his rear, leaning to the right a little, so it looks like he is in the middle of falling. In right hand he is juggling my phone and in his left hand is a tumbler of what I'm assuming is his scotch. Jared was never a drinker until we got to New York. Just another thing to change since we have been here.

His face looks like he is trying very hard not to fall over from laughing. What he's laughing at looking at my phone, I'm not sure, but it does worry me. I talk to my best friend Annabelle via text message about Jared and my relationship often. I don't tell her anything too detailed but she knows I am unhappy. Thankfully, she lives all the way in Minneapolis. When Jared and I moved last year to this New York house, I hated leaving her, but I thought I was following my dream. How wrong was I?

I lean down on my right knee, then my left, until my legs are flat on the floor in front of him, and lean forward, almost until we are touching. I can smell the scotch rolling off of him in waves. Seems like he decided to snoop while drunk because he is looking through my text messages from Anna and instead of making my face hurt further, he is having an all-out laugh fest. I'm not sure if that's better or not. I quietly whisper his name almost hoping he can't hear me. He looks up slowly and produces a serial smile.

"There she is." he says quietly.

"Jared are you alright? Would you like me to make you something to eat or maybe help you to bed?" Please say yes.

He closes his eyes and smiles even wider, showing teeth, then suddenly grabs my throat throwing me down on the ground, I can hear the sound of his glass breaking, followed by my phone landing on the ground somewhere near us. He is on top of me with his hands around my neck, but he is not squeezing. He is just holding me in place. He may not be hurting me but I am far from comfortable with his hands around my neck. I no longer know this man in front of me.

He slowly moves his mouth toward my right ear, and says something that stills my shaking form.

"Would you do it? Would you leave me?" he whispers.

My eyes slowly connect with his blue ones, and in that moment, I swear I see guilt, shame and maybe a little bit of fear. Those beautiful blue eyes I used to trust with my life. I get ready to give my answer when he lifts himself up and then reaches down to pick me up. I let him, trying to remember the last time I was in his arms without pain, He cusps my face with both hands and inspects what I assume, is his damage from a few hours before. He leans down and kisses my left cheek then my right. He reaches my ear again and says something about a monster, then turns around and heads to our bedroom.

I stand there stunned for I don't know how long. I am petrified to head into the bedroom after him. I clean the scotch, clear the glass, and head to the kitchen to clean there. I give myself another hour before heading to the bedroom to join the man I no longer know.

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Delinda Schumacher
82 chapters 5-27-23
2023-05-28 00:42:30
0
82 Chapters
Chapter 1
VOLUME ONE: GUILTPrologueHave you ever had a moment of complete irony? I once looked up what the definition was. According to Siri irony was, and I quote,"a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result". Irony is amusing? I don't think so. Irony can be cruel and hurtful and completely damaging. For me anyways. You see six months ago I would have thought Irony was just a word in the English Dictionary that everyone knew, but couldn't exactly put words to explain. Now I know what Irony truly means, I'm living it.LayniePain slices through the back of my head at an alarming rate. I can hear a voice in the background, but am unsure of what it is saying. My back lands hard on the kitchen floor. God, I hate our hardwood flooring. Of course, Jared had to have the most expensive hardwood floor that cost sixteen hundred dollars a square foot. I'm not sure why, but when we moved in, he was very specific about what
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 2
LaynieYou know when your asleep but not really? I once took a psychology class in college. I learned a couple of important facts in that class. One, I am not meant to be a psychologist, at all. Second, slow wave sleep is stage three and four of the five stages of sleep. It is in this stage that you find yourself asleep, but when and if your jolted awake by something, you are unsure of your surroundings. You are not sure where you are for a moment, you have no idea how long you were out, and it takes you a second to remember what woke you up. I was definitely in the slow wave stage. A hand suddenly grabs my mouth as I shoot out of bed. Still not having any idea what woke me up I struggle with the hand tightening on my mouth. Thrashing in bed I managed to look to my left and notice Jared is being detained by two men. What the hell is going on? He looks a little sluggish trying to fight these men off and it dawns on me that he is still drunk. Looking back at the man responsible for my
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 3
JaredMy head throbs, my back is on fire, and I have no idea what's going on. It feels worse than the time I woke up hungover after my twenty first birthday party. My best friend Alan threw me a surprise party. Laynie and Anna weren't old enough to drink yet, so we celebrated with a few college buddies. We all woke up feeling like death and were in the middle of grocery store parking lot with homeless signs stapled to our stomachs. We never did remember what the hell happened the night before.I try to open my eyes but they are so heavy I just keep falling back asleep. Around the third try, I finally get enough strength to open them just slightly. What I see around me surprises, and put me at ease at the same time. I'm in a damn hospital. No one around to ask why, but I can finally pin point the smell. When my mother died of breast cancer I was in the hospital with her every day until her last. Being only seventeen, I ended up skipping school quite a bit. I had to. I was the only one
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 4
LaynieI've been irritated before, but nothing like this. I have been poked and prodded and have had enough. I want to see my husband. When my nurse leaves after her third attempt at putting my IV in, the two detectives that spoke to me earlier, walk in. I'm getting sick of these two. We have been at the hospital for hours and all they keep telling me about Jared's health, is that he is resting. Well this time they can shove it up their ass. I want to see him. I don't know what he wants me say to everyone that keeps asking me questions.It was obvious those men knew him, I just don't know if should say anything. Detective Stephanson walks up first. He reminds me of one of my college professors. His long legs but larger belly is almost laughable. He has shaggy blonde hair and looks like he hasn't showered in days, but I do prefer him over Andrews. When I woke up a few hours ago I had been told that Jared and I were on two different wings of the hospital. I wasn't stupid, I knew when t
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 5
JaredMy eyes slowly drift open. The pain is still intense, but I no longer feel like I am going to pass out after each breathe. The room is quiet and I wonder how long I've been out this time. I drifted in and out all day yesterday and if it weren't for nurse Candice coming in before her shift ended this morning I would have never known we have officially been here one day. I also asked nurse Candice how Laynie was and when I would get to see her. She smiled and told me to turn to my right. I did so, slowly, by her request, and never have my eyes seen a more beautiful sight. She lied there, in her own bed, which was not there the before, with her hands holding the pillow very tightly. She always did like sleeping like that. When I told Nurse Candice that, she smiled and told me to take care and left. She seems to have a story, but I'm not one to pry."Your awake."My thoughts of this morning are cut off by the voice I've been yearning to hear for the past 24 hours. I look to my right
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 6
Laynie I listen to everything Dr. Toring is telling us later on the next day. We are all set to go home and are getting instructions on how to care for ourselves privately. We both have express orders not to strain ourselves too much and to make sure we take our pain medication as needed. Jared is hunched over tying his shoes that his best friend Alan brought over. He is having a hard time bending over from the bed, but Alan makes no move to help him. I think he understands that Jared needs to do certain things himself, to not make him feel like he is dependent on us. Alan and Anna were our best friends in high school and college. When we moved to New York we continued to stay close, but I can tell Alan tried harder than Jared did.When Alan called Jared's phone last night, I knew I had to let him know what was going on. Jared was in a lot of pain, even though he wouldn't say. So, me and nurse Candice had a silent conversation, and five minutes later she came in the room with his pa
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 7
LaynieOnce we got home and Jared settled on the couch, I walk over to the kitchen to start dinner. Partly because Jared and Alan should be hungry, and partly because I really need to keep busy. Being back here where this whole thing transpired, has enraged me with mixed emotions. When we first walked in the door I noticed all the blood was cleaned up and the furniture arranged back to where it belonged. It feels good to be here and not be belittled or beaten for any little thing but at the same time I'm walking on eggshells. What if the real him comes back in the middle of the night? What if he just turns into him mechanically again? What if he is just being truly genuine to me? I burry myself in making curry and rice.One thing I wanted more than anything in the world was to one day have my own restaurant. I have my culinary arts certificate and was a sous chef when we were back in Minneapolis. Jared had his contracting license and a job working with a buddy's father. we were doing w
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 8
JaredThe darkness is trying to come out. It was never like this with Laynie before. It just clarifies my previous thoughts on something happening this past year. Of course, now I know what that was. I put my hands on my girlfriend. On my wife. I used to kick guy's asses in high school if they even talked shit about their girlfriends. Now I'm one of those pricks. No, I'm worse. I cannot believe I have ever put my hands on her. When the detectives told me about her previous injuries, I knew. I just knew I had done something wrong. I may not remember but I could feel the darkness trying to escape. It feels stronger than it used to. When me and Laynie started dating in high school it almost vanished. I knew it was still there but it was never present around her. When my mother finally passed from her illness, I thought it would try to come out. I know I needed a release of some kind to escape the pain of the loss I had, but Laynie was there for me the whole time making the darkness onl
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 9
LaynieI take my time in the shower feeling hesitant about my upcoming talk with my husband. Jared scared me earlier to the point where I went into my safe space. Whenever Jared got drunk and wanted to fight with me, that was where I went. The first time was an accident. He had shoved me in the kitchen when I refused to remake a dish that was completely fine. I fell into the little space between the refrigerator and the pantry doors. The space couldn't have been more than a foot wide but when Jared saw that I was trapped in there he left me alone. From that point on whenever he would get violent in a drunken state I would hide in there. It killed my back each time and I usually got scratches when trying to come out but it was better than the alternative. Way better. Once the water gets too cold for my body, I leave the bathroom and go back into the bedroom. I put on my comfy pajamas of gray flannel sweats and a black tank. I stopped wearing night gowns when Jared told me that I was
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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Chapter 10
JaredI was never a man of faith. My father instilled on me at a young age, that if I wasn't going to be successful and powerful on my own, then I wasn't welcome in his home. So, praying to God every night wasn't allowed. When me and Laynie started getting serious her sophomore year of college, she asked me to go to church with her on Christmas Eve. It was a tradition that her and her father did ever year. It was awkward for me, but I dealt with it because I wanted to be with her and I knew this was important to her. I never told her, but I didn't enjoy the festivities like she did. I guess my father had more to do with my upbringing than I give him credit for.I drop to my knees, and for the first time in my life, give a silent prayer to God that Laynie can forgive me. I know without a doubt that I did that to her. I burry my head in my hands and fist my hair. What the hell have I done to her? I'm getting sick and tired of asking myself that question. I'm getting sick of feeling sic
last updateLast Updated : 2022-04-29
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