LaynieYou know when your asleep but not really? I once took a psychology class in college. I learned a couple of important facts in that class. One, I am not meant to be a psychologist, at all. Second, slow wave sleep is stage three and four of the five stages of sleep. It is in this stage that you find yourself asleep, but when and if your jolted awake by something, you are unsure of your surroundings. You are not sure where you are for a moment, you have no idea how long you were out, and it takes you a second to remember what woke you up. I was definitely in the slow wave stage. A hand suddenly grabs my mouth as I shoot out of bed. Still not having any idea what woke me up I struggle with the hand tightening on my mouth. Thrashing in bed I managed to look to my left and notice Jared is being detained by two men. What the hell is going on? He looks a little sluggish trying to fight these men off and it dawns on me that he is still drunk. Looking back at the man responsible for my
JaredMy head throbs, my back is on fire, and I have no idea what's going on. It feels worse than the time I woke up hungover after my twenty first birthday party. My best friend Alan threw me a surprise party. Laynie and Anna weren't old enough to drink yet, so we celebrated with a few college buddies. We all woke up feeling like death and were in the middle of grocery store parking lot with homeless signs stapled to our stomachs. We never did remember what the hell happened the night before.I try to open my eyes but they are so heavy I just keep falling back asleep. Around the third try, I finally get enough strength to open them just slightly. What I see around me surprises, and put me at ease at the same time. I'm in a damn hospital. No one around to ask why, but I can finally pin point the smell. When my mother died of breast cancer I was in the hospital with her every day until her last. Being only seventeen, I ended up skipping school quite a bit. I had to. I was the only one
LaynieI've been irritated before, but nothing like this. I have been poked and prodded and have had enough. I want to see my husband. When my nurse leaves after her third attempt at putting my IV in, the two detectives that spoke to me earlier, walk in. I'm getting sick of these two. We have been at the hospital for hours and all they keep telling me about Jared's health, is that he is resting. Well this time they can shove it up their ass. I want to see him. I don't know what he wants me say to everyone that keeps asking me questions.It was obvious those men knew him, I just don't know if should say anything. Detective Stephanson walks up first. He reminds me of one of my college professors. His long legs but larger belly is almost laughable. He has shaggy blonde hair and looks like he hasn't showered in days, but I do prefer him over Andrews. When I woke up a few hours ago I had been told that Jared and I were on two different wings of the hospital. I wasn't stupid, I knew when t
JaredMy eyes slowly drift open. The pain is still intense, but I no longer feel like I am going to pass out after each breathe. The room is quiet and I wonder how long I've been out this time. I drifted in and out all day yesterday and if it weren't for nurse Candice coming in before her shift ended this morning I would have never known we have officially been here one day. I also asked nurse Candice how Laynie was and when I would get to see her. She smiled and told me to turn to my right. I did so, slowly, by her request, and never have my eyes seen a more beautiful sight. She lied there, in her own bed, which was not there the before, with her hands holding the pillow very tightly. She always did like sleeping like that. When I told Nurse Candice that, she smiled and told me to take care and left. She seems to have a story, but I'm not one to pry."Your awake."My thoughts of this morning are cut off by the voice I've been yearning to hear for the past 24 hours. I look to my right
Laynie I listen to everything Dr. Toring is telling us later on the next day. We are all set to go home and are getting instructions on how to care for ourselves privately. We both have express orders not to strain ourselves too much and to make sure we take our pain medication as needed. Jared is hunched over tying his shoes that his best friend Alan brought over. He is having a hard time bending over from the bed, but Alan makes no move to help him. I think he understands that Jared needs to do certain things himself, to not make him feel like he is dependent on us. Alan and Anna were our best friends in high school and college. When we moved to New York we continued to stay close, but I can tell Alan tried harder than Jared did.When Alan called Jared's phone last night, I knew I had to let him know what was going on. Jared was in a lot of pain, even though he wouldn't say. So, me and nurse Candice had a silent conversation, and five minutes later she came in the room with his pa
LaynieOnce we got home and Jared settled on the couch, I walk over to the kitchen to start dinner. Partly because Jared and Alan should be hungry, and partly because I really need to keep busy. Being back here where this whole thing transpired, has enraged me with mixed emotions. When we first walked in the door I noticed all the blood was cleaned up and the furniture arranged back to where it belonged. It feels good to be here and not be belittled or beaten for any little thing but at the same time I'm walking on eggshells. What if the real him comes back in the middle of the night? What if he just turns into him mechanically again? What if he is just being truly genuine to me? I burry myself in making curry and rice.One thing I wanted more than anything in the world was to one day have my own restaurant. I have my culinary arts certificate and was a sous chef when we were back in Minneapolis. Jared had his contracting license and a job working with a buddy's father. we were doing w
JaredThe darkness is trying to come out. It was never like this with Laynie before. It just clarifies my previous thoughts on something happening this past year. Of course, now I know what that was. I put my hands on my girlfriend. On my wife. I used to kick guy's asses in high school if they even talked shit about their girlfriends. Now I'm one of those pricks. No, I'm worse. I cannot believe I have ever put my hands on her. When the detectives told me about her previous injuries, I knew. I just knew I had done something wrong. I may not remember but I could feel the darkness trying to escape. It feels stronger than it used to. When me and Laynie started dating in high school it almost vanished. I knew it was still there but it was never present around her. When my mother finally passed from her illness, I thought it would try to come out. I know I needed a release of some kind to escape the pain of the loss I had, but Laynie was there for me the whole time making the darkness onl
LaynieI take my time in the shower feeling hesitant about my upcoming talk with my husband. Jared scared me earlier to the point where I went into my safe space. Whenever Jared got drunk and wanted to fight with me, that was where I went. The first time was an accident. He had shoved me in the kitchen when I refused to remake a dish that was completely fine. I fell into the little space between the refrigerator and the pantry doors. The space couldn't have been more than a foot wide but when Jared saw that I was trapped in there he left me alone. From that point on whenever he would get violent in a drunken state I would hide in there. It killed my back each time and I usually got scratches when trying to come out but it was better than the alternative. Way better. Once the water gets too cold for my body, I leave the bathroom and go back into the bedroom. I put on my comfy pajamas of gray flannel sweats and a black tank. I stopped wearing night gowns when Jared told me that I was
AnnaSix Years Later"Sweetheart can you tell your father to come in here and grab the steaks?" Laynie asks her daughter Molly. Molly runs out to the back-yard hollering to her father that mommy said to get the 'sticks'.Laynie and both laugh which causes me to hold onto my enormous belly. I am currently eight months pregnant and I swear if there was a way to get this baby out sooner I would do it. Laynie walks over and closes the sliding glass door shut after Molly left it open."So how are you feeling?" Laynie asks coming back to the kitchen and grabbing the salad out of the fridge. We decided to have a barbeque at Alan and I's home for the fourth of July weekend. Shortly after everything went down six years ago, Alan and I got married and bought a house. I fought it at first, but Alan soon convinced me that we knew each other all our lives, we didn't need a timeline for marriage.Jared and Laynie are here with their three children, and Jed will be here soon. We invited Alan
AlanChaos. I've never truly understood the word until now. I've grown up in a house full of people all talking at the same time. I've had over thirty students yelling at the top of their lungs for a sound proof test the school was doing. I've been in a circle of both equal parts nervous and excited football players, preparing themselves for the big game. I've had noise, I've had excitement, I've had an uncontrolled environment. What I've never had, is chaos.I get in the car and drive after the ambulance carrying the woman of my dreams. My mind a flurry of thoughts and images of every moment we have ever spent together. I thought when detective Stephanson told me, Laynie and Jared the entire story of Anna's past, that I was heartbroken then, but nothing is compared the pain I feel in this moment.Thoughts of this morning come rushing back to me as I arrived at Jared's home. Detective Stephanson was there, I had recognized him from when Jared and Laynie were attacked last year i
AnnaMy phone vibrates in my palm once more. I can't answer it, I won't. I already know it's Alan. He has been calling for the last three hours nonstop. His words form last night are still raw and I don't know if I could stand to hear his voice right now. Alan finding out the truth last night has brought me to where I am today.I await the guards to finish frisking me and lower my gaze even further when the lead guard comes over and starts telling me the rules I have already learned. I am let into the room, a different one than the one I am used to being in and wait. Today is the day Jed gets out, and my nerves have given me both jitters and anxiety. I am not only nervous for Jed, I am nervous for me.A loud ringing sound starts, and I look around to see where it is coming from. The sound stops when a door opens, and I see two guards flowing in, followed by my brother. He looks different, almost happy. His long dirty blonde hair is brushed back, and his eyes are bright and vibrant.
AlanI had always assumed I had strength. The strength to move towards my goal as a teacher. The strength to move to a whole new city. The strength to say no anytime someone would offer me a drink at their dinner party, or a small get together. I had no idea that strength, real strength, came from pain.As I sit in my small blue plastic chair sipping on my overly stale coffee and listen to other people talk about what they have endured. What they have gone through, the horrible things they have done to get that last sip, or last hit. I realize that strength, real strength is a small part of what I would need to keep fighting my demons.It has been a week since I have been back in New York. I did what I was meant to do. I went to work, came home, graded papers, said hello to Delilah every morning, saw Laynie and Jared a few times for dinner, everything that was expected of me.What I didn't do, was relax. My mind couldn't. I was too wrapped up in what I had found on my first day
AnnaAnger has never been more clearly evident on someone as it is on me at this moment. As I watch my father waltz into a club full of men who could kill him simply by flicking their wrists, I wonder what his motive must be. If he has been tailing me, and I know he has because he showed up at my apartment the night I flew in from Minneapolis, then he knows what a mistake this is. Alan is here, and if father's plan is to get Alan to see that we still keep in contact, then it's working."What are you doing here father?" I snare at his pungent face. Now that Alan and I are over, something father doesn't know because I bullshited the story of me going over there in the first place, I want him gone even more.After I got home, I was broken. Alan had said some horrible, but truthful things to me and the last thing I wanted was to come home to father sitting comfortably in my armchair. He did what I figured he would. Questioned my trip with the Kings. I told him the very basics. The inter
AlanThere is no greater pain than knowing you caused an innocent person's tragedy. That night I made my decision. I had to change myself. I woke up the next day in the hospital to no Anna. My mother was sitting in the chair next to me, crying. My father nowhere to be seen. My hand was grasping my mother's tight and when the detective came in to tell me of my charges, I watched my father break down for the first time in my lifetime. He was always the strong one, the wall of bravery and courage that never backed down or gave up. He was the sturdiness of our family and I witnessed him crumble over and over again as they named my charges.Edith Monroe Jewel.She was eighteen years old, majoring in economics in college. Her favorite color is orange like the sunset she insisted on watching every night from her dorm. Only child to her parents and used all her money she worked at a movie theatre to buy a ten-year-old Chevy. She was the most innocent face I would ever see, the face that
AlanI remember it like it was it was yesterday. The pain and anguish, as if it were a mere ten seconds ago. She broke my heart that day. I not only learned that I was with someone that wasn't supposed to be with me, but I learned that the world is a cruel and ugly place. I found my place that night. The bottle called to me, and it never stopped.Two Years AgoAnna should be here any moment. I dash over to the kitchen and start cleaning there as well. I never realize how dirty my house is until I know someone is coming over. Anna isn't necessarily a clean freak but knowing my girl, she will bust my ass seven ways to Sunday if she sees my left over Chinese containers from three days ago. I've been a bit busy with helping to tutor little Arnold after school. He will be in my class the year after next and I for one cannot wait. He and his older brother have been having a hard time with their father and he is relying on me to come through for him this summer. I started teaching summ
AnnaI've never felt so helpless in my life. Not even when Jed turned sixteen and instead of a gift, father made him train with a nasty brute of a man named Serge. Father told Serge not to take it easy on Jed and he barely made it out of the match alive. I was eleven, and mother made me watch because my job, was to hopefully seduce Serge if he went too hard on my big brother. Always a way out. No, in this moment, I feel much more anxious than when Jed was slowly dying ten feet in front of me. Alan adjusts his tie for the hundredth time while the host, Margarette Knowles, asks Paul the next question. So far, the questions have been on the subtle side. Why he chose to run now? What he thinks of his competitor? What sorts of things he wants to change in our government. But I know the questions are far from over. She hasn't even asked about Paul about not going to the formal dinner back in New York."So, tell me Mr. King. What did your family think when you announced you were goi
Alan"Okay, either our bags were not on the same flight as we were, or I'm blind and need glasses."I look again at the spinning conveyer displaying everyone's belongings, well, everyone's but ours. We have been here for over ten minutes and I still cannot locate our bags. Should be easy enough with Anna's large Louie Vuitton messenger bag but still, I've got nothing. I look behind me and notice Anna is no longer standing behind me but much farther away. She is looking down at her phone and I feel a ping of insecurity. Ever since we landed, Anna has been on her phone and I don't want to be that boyfriend that snoops, but she is being a bit sneaky and it's making me a bit nervous.Each time I've asked her who it was, she hides the phone from me and says Laynie. I tried looking over her shoulder at the phone, but she types so damn fast and places it inside her jacket pocket, I can't tell who it really is."Alan?" I snap out of my daze and see Anna standing right in front of me with