Chapter 05
Stella
Del Valle.
That is the first word I saw as we entered the city. Rhea told us that, there are plenty of places we can explore if we choose to go here. We arrived here at exactly six in the morning, we traveled for almost ten hours from, we made a lot of stops over that’s why.
“Let’s check in first after that I’ll make a delivery for us. I’m starving.” I do not know if it’s the season or what. The cool breeze of the air is certainly present. Damn, I should’ve brought my jacket.
Oh-midnight Hotel
“I think this is the Hotel?” Tristan made his way to park our car and shit, I told you it seems like a mini frozen place! I felt cold!
“You didn’t bring Jacket?” that’s Tristan, he’s at my right side while we are walking towards the entrance of the Hotel.
“I forgot, I didn’t know that I can literally felt cold in here.” I responded quickly.
“Oh, I’m sorry Stell. I forgot to check the season, my bad.” Rhea just continuously surfing her net maybe to find some places to travel with.
“Love, I’ll just get my extra jacket in our car, we don’t know maybe after ten minutes she’ll probably be frozen ice.” Rhea laughed at her boyfriend’s remark.
“That’s too harsh love, Stell is a survivor, she can definitely overcome this.”
Knowing the situation, I also smiled a little. “Let’s go.” she doesn’t seem to notice us, she keeps on staring at her phone. “I’ll chat you the room number love.” Tristan looked at me and nodded, wait… Me? But… He patted Rhea’s head afterwards.
“Alright.” he then turned his back at us. That’s odd, why did he look at me? Or did I misinterpret it? Maybe, he’s not directly looking at me? Yes, that’s the truth, my vision just got weird, right?
“Are you fine with this? You’ll be alone, I’ll try to talk to Tr--.” I immediately cut her off. “I’m fine, you guys can share the room together. Don’t worry about me.”
“Fine, just beep me up okay? Here’s your key.” she handled me the key of my room, just a few blocks from them. “I already ordered food, just wait for it and sleep for a while. I’ll wake you up, maybe later at 3? Let’s have a dip at their pool. Sounds good?” I smiled at her, “Sure.”
After I unlocked our door, I put down my baggage near the couch. It seems simple, just a typical hotel room. The only difference is that, when you looked down at the window you’ll probably see the pool area. I turned on the heater, it was my fault for not bringing a jacket but what can I do? I was used to it, I rarely felt cold even if it’s rainy season, but the fees I mean the breeze is totally different here. I wonder why.
I was supposed to jump on my bed when I heard a knock. Maybe the room boy? I instantly opened it, but it wasn’t the room boy, it was Tristan holding a blue jacket in his right hand. “Here, I didn’t wash that for two day but please bear with that for a while.” he gave it right away after he finished talking.
“Oh, thank you so much! Sorry, I made you run without notice.” I bowed my head and apologize. He just simply tapped my back, “It’s fine, I don’t want to see you freezing in ice.” his dimple showed the moment he started laughing. I made a half-smile. “But seriously, thank you. It means a lot.”
“So, let’s see each other later? I will be looking forward to seeing you on your bikini.”
He jokingly grinned and instantly turned his back at me. Okay? That’s a joke right? But why I feel… Ah, this is nothing! It is normal Stella, don’t be confused. Because of that, I cannot find my will to sleep, that thought keeps on haunting me. I know that it sounds like a joke but why I do I feel like it’s not? Or he’s just teasing me? But why would he tease me? Ah! This is pissing me off, let’s take a look what had happened earlier, he looked at me before patting Rhea’s head who seems to not giving us attention for she is busy searching and now this? As much as possible, I don’t want to involve myself in their relationship, but why do I feel like I was really included in the very first place? I felt asleep with that thought.
“Hey, come on! It’s not cold anymore, let’s have fun here for a while!” I heard Rhea’s voice around my door, she’s probably waiting for me. “Hey! Are you going to let yourself sleep forever? As in forever and ever? I’ll wait here until you’re out, faster!” the knocks in my door repeatedly occur. I sighed. What a great way to wake me up!
“I am coming!” I shouted, enough for her to hear. “I am not going unless you’re out.” she’s really persistent, I started to stand. I still feel dizzy. “I told you, I am coming I’ll just change first.” I answered honestly.
“Wear the bikini I told you yesterday, it fits you well!” she suggested.
Of course, I know that too and obviously I always felt proud towards my body, I acknowledge it because there’s nothing to be ashamed of, really. That’s the thing about us, women, that should be kept in touch. Yes, we’re not the same at all, some have pale white skin and some is born with a dark color, some are thin and others are somehow chubby, but after all we are all woman. Body differences is not a competition, it does not matter how thin or fat you are, what matters most is how you accept yourself and how you felt proud toward it.
Body shaming should not have any space in your mind, accept who you truly are and feel proud afterwards, that’s how you should be and that’s how you should show the world, how beautiful you can be.
“See?! If fits you, damn you’re a hottie!” she pulled the strokes of my hair, maybe to tease me. “Whatever you say.” I just shrugged my shoulder, I scanned the whole area, Why is Tristan nowhere to be found? And, what the heck? Why I am even thinking about him? Get a grip of yourself Stella, you’re already crossing some boundaries in here!
“You’re searching for some— O My God! I know what you’re thinking.” she looks at me with disbelief in her eyes… Don’t tell m--. “Your eyes looks like you’re looking for some abs out there!” she jokingly touched my boob, I was startled.
“I never saw this side of yours, this is the new you Stella!” as always, her chinky eyes got bigger, kindly imagine this. A little cute eyes slowly widening and that’s her. But at the second thought, I was thankful that she doesn’t seem to realize that I was looking for her boyfriend. I should let him out of my mind immediately, this is not healthy for me!
“You’re talking nonsense Rhea, I was just looking for…” I never had the chance to continue to what I am saying because of a sudden voice behind me.
“Love, look I bought three shakes for us. This is for you, of course the mango favor because I know that this is your favorite.” the moist on the glass of the shake is visible, she looked at her and get it after.
“Thank you, Love, you’re the best.” she sipped a little and nodded her head as if it passed her taste. “How was it?” he asked. “It’s sweet! The blending goes smoothly, a thumbs up for me.” she made a thumbs up sign.
After that, Tristan looked at me. Why? And why do I felt a sudden disturbance? I mean, I felt something strange about me, was it nervousness? “Here’s yours, I do not know your preferred flavor, Vanilla, is that okay with you?” he smiled widely as he asked me, I nodded instantly. “I-its fine.”
“Let’s go Stell, the pool is waiting for us.” she extended her arms.
“Let’s go.” before we go she waved her hands to Tristan, and he just smiled, showing his perfect set of teeth. I came to think of it, is he a good kisser?
Stella, I told you to stop thinking about it, why are you so stubborn? That’s what my minds say but my actions is far different, I am really out of my mind, my brain seems not functioning at all, or is it my heart? Damn.
“So, how’s the Tinder app? Did you find someone in there?”
My feet are already at the pool, I was playing with the water. In the morning, you can literally feel the cold breeze, however if it’s in the afternoon the heat is also can be felt on your skin. “I did not install it.” I shook my head.
“I told you it’s legit, some hot oppa’s like Park Seo Joon is in there.”
My eyes widen, “You’re mentioning my husband again, don’t you ever lay a finger on him!” I rolled my eyes, well PSJ is a South Korean actor, you know the drop-dead gorgeous set of man in the world? He’s one of those.
“How I wished I could literally hug him in this part.” I touched her waist, down to h—“You’re molesting me!” I laughed, I didn’t mean it!
“You’re overreacting, that’s teasing or what you call seducing, you’re not that innocent aren’t you? Among the two of us, you’re the first one to expe— she covered my mouth,“Stop, what you are about to say.” she giggled.
“But, seriously Stell. Don’t you need someone? Well, except for me of course. You know that I am always at your side.”
Do I really need someone? I am comfortable being alone though.
“You know, we’re already at our twenty’s and it is okay to let yourself love someone, I do understand the part of your mother’s case but trust me, having a partner will somehow make you feel at ease, like Tristan.” Tristan again.
“What if I get hurt?” she flipped my forehead. “Ya! That’s pretty normal, when you love someone you’ll probably get hurt in any way, just a coping up mechanism will do. After the break-up? Glow yourself up, make him regret and then done!”
Is it really that easy? But why do people feel a sudden death inside them when they let go of someone?
“You talk as if you never cried Rhea, remember J— she cut me off, again.
“Yes, I wouldn’t deny that one! But that’s already in the past, we’re done. The thing about the past is that, you can never get the chance to do it again no matter how you want it to happen, what you can do is to remember it, that once in your life, you’ve experienced it and that’s what important. Moving on, is indeed a long process, there are times you need to stop, pause a little. There are times, you doubt yourself and asked yourself over and over again. You’ll probably get tired and you’ll probably lose yourself for a while but at the end of the day, it was yourself whom you can trust onto.” she’s talking while her hands are swaying back and forth, left and right that seems like discussing an issue.
Well, is love really that hard? I mean, how does love makes people happy today and cry tomorrow?
Chapter 06Stella“Did you see my phone?” I was just holding it a while ago why I can’t see it now?“Where did you last see it?” Where… where… Ah! At the comfort room?
Chapter 07StellaI was currently lying in bed, doing everything I could to sleep but I just can’t find the will to. What is he trying to say? He’s with me? What does he mean by that?Well, as the clock strikes at six, we decided to go and by nine in the evening we are already at the hotel. The moment we entered the
Chapter 08StellaMy body felt cold as the air conditioner touched every inch of my skin, I pulled the cotton blanket and realized I wasn't sleeping alone, I have someone in my bed! Without hesitation, I opened my eyes and saw Tristan lying beside me. His eyes are close, his breathing is normal and mine isn't!What did you do Stella
Chapter 09StellaHer words filled up my mind. I couldn't understand her. Why can she forgive him easily? I mean, isn't it hatred first before forgiveness? Okay, don't get me wrong. I accepted her side, I know that she only wants to be free. Apparently, she doesn't want to involve herself into a most complicated relationship. She was trying to tell me that, if Tristan cheated then she will let him go.
Chapter 10StellaI never expected it to turns out like this. I mean, how can I possibly betray my friend because of a sudden lust in my system right? I felt hatred towards myself. But what can I do? It already happened.
Chapter 11Stella"Baby."His continuous whispers in my ear are the reason why I suddenly opened my eyes. Oh, right! I'm here at his pad."Stop calling me like that, it's not funny." I commented. He just shrugged his shoulders and lay down next to me, the ray of light coming from the sun surpassing the window touches his body, his reflection is... Damn, so masculine."Done checking me out?"I chose not to answer, rather I leaned towards him, he was overcoming my weight, I grab my phone at the table near him and shock upon seeing the time. She's coming!Mg gaze directly turned into his direction, I stood up in an instant."Why you didn't wake me up earlier? She's probably on her way here!" I yelled, at the top of my lungs
Chapter 12StellaMy heartbeat suddenly quickened. Is that me? I mean... Damn, Tristan you're literally out of your mind. "Hey, are you fine? You look pale, don't tell me, you have your period?" I quickly turned my face into her and shook my head. Is it obvious? Are my actions too obvious?
Chapter 13Stella"He's asking you to go to his pad." That was her words that keeps on playing in my mind, my face was out of reach. I cannot pin point what it looks like, if it's sad, nervous of confused. Maybe, it was a mix a emotion. I do not know and I am afraid to find it out. "Our plan, don't let her knew." she added. She looked at me with a twinkled eyes, what? Why does she seems so happy about me, going to her
Chapter 22StellaWhen can you say that love is right? When do you get hurt? When do you get tired? When are you still hoping?They say that it is not easy to love, but the others, it seems like they are just playing. So, how can you say that you are in the right person? In a right relationship? The others, they said you can just feel it. Some required for an assurance and then legality.But. We do have different set of struggles as well as the types of people we love. We cannot judge a person that easy. Sometimes we become stupid when we love and maybe I am like that. I really love Tristan even though the consequences of my action is indeed a wrong way of pleasure, we both knew that, we just didn't want to accept that because we know to ourselves it is the only way we know to make ourselves happy.
Chapter 21StellaThey say, when one of your loved ones dies, it seems that you also died. I think that's true I can hardly understand myself, it's so dull.We are now at the cemetery. My friends, dad and mom's family dad are also here and some people who cares about this thing. I can see in their faces the sadness of sudden loss of my mom. I can see the sympathy, the grief, but why do I seem to feel nothing at all? My heart seems to be exhausted, numb, nothing hurts more and my tears are already gone, and I can't even cry anymore.How I wish I could still go back to the time when we're still complete. At some point of my life, I wish I didn't grow.Once in my life, I thought I should never grow. Because as I
Chapter 20StellaI can't imagine life without mom, but maybe this time it is real, she was gone.It is difficult to lose a father, and now it becomes more horrible because I also lost my mother.And maybe if I have a chance to stop the time? It was only in the part where we crossed the road to school at the same time.We were happy, laughing and teasing each other.There is nothing more painful when you know in yourself that you are alone, that no matter how hard you try to build yourself up, you still can't. I miss you so much, mom and dad. I hope wherever you are now, you are happy, because you are together again. I will force myself mom, dad, I will choose to be strong.Because I can't do anything, it has happened, it's over and I can't bring
Chapter 19Stella"Good morning mom, dad! Come on, let's go!"We just recently moved in here, to a new subdivision. Honestly some of the children here are bully. I just want them to play with me but they will act as if I'm not existing at all. Maybe because I'm new?Well, I can conclude that one of my number one hater here is the one in the other house. Our neighbor, in the right side, the one with yellow gate. Specifically, I don't know her, but everytime our paths will crossed, she'll look at me from head to toe and then rolled her eyes continously. What? I didn't even do anything! I'm just walking!One day, I asked my mother."Mom, am I ugly?" I loo
Chapter 18StellaIt is hard on the part when even if you still want to continue, you are gradually being pushed to the highest limit of yourself. It gets to the point that even if you want to still fight the situation, it is the situation that will give up the battle you are fighting for.I do not understand. Why does the person you are getting energy from still need to disappear? At this point, I can never pinpoint what is happening.I lost my strength. Suddenly the energy in my body disappeared. My life is now meaningless, My mother is gone. The person wherein my number source of power is not breathing, she's now lifeless."When you finish school, what will you buy first? A car? A house?"We are here in my room, talking some random stuffs when my mom
Chapter 17StellaHave you ever come to the point where you have left with no choice? Because if yes, you must have gone through the hardships of life already.But, in my case, it was different. Because I prefer the wrong one, I chose the decision that I know will hurt me more in the end. And no matter how many times I think, this situation is not a good thing.I love Tristan and that's true. I do not know when, where and how I love him. I just got to the point where I realized, my heart was already beating for him.Maybe it's wrong, but when can you say that love is right? It is a mistake in the eyes of others, but is love measured by choosing to be rightfully graded?I know, I live in that belief wherein it is pr
Chapter 16Stella"Our plan worked out well."That was his statement as soon as we made ourselves comfortable at the couch near the food table. I raised my right eyebrow, so?"Good for you." I commented, not minding his continous stare from me."That's it?" he smirked, as if it's telling me he's contented. What does he wants me to do? Plan a party for his so called success? Oh come on!"You're becoming more and more grumpy Stella. If I have a mirror here I'll give it you so that you can literally see yourself and your face." he laughed, literally touching his stomach."That's what you need to say? You exc
Chapter 15Stella"Happy Birthday!" That was the word I heared over and over again in every corner of this house to cover up the celebration of Rhea's birthday. She was walking in a stunning outfit, her hair was black and braided. Her
Chapter 14StellaWe control our lives but sometimes we get to the point where even though we know we are wrong, we still choose do it. There are things that no matter how many times we want to give up, we still have the desire to fight even if it is a wrong way. If only I could turn back the time, I wish I hadn't been tempted so that I will have the chance to let it go early. But what can I do? Here it is, it is already in my system. Now, even though I want to stop it, I may not be abl