Not accidental

Chapter 06

Stella

“Did you see my phone?” I was just holding it a while ago why I can’t see it now?

“Where did you last see it?” Where… where… Ah! At the comfort room?

“Can you remember Rhea, before we got into the comfort room, I am still holding my phone right?”

“I really can’t remember it exactly but when going to the comfort room, someone texted you, right?”

Oh, yeah! That’s my mom’s assistance because I told her to give me daily updates.

“So, it is really in the comfort room. I’ll go search it, you both can go. It’s fine.

“Are you sure?” I made a nod, I can buy a new phone if that’s the case but still, all of my contacts is there, that would be too hassle. As I walked towards the comfort room, I saw a figure beside me, it’s Tristan.

“Hey, it’s really fine. I’ll take a look at it, you can do your business too.” I explained. He didn’t seem to listen to me at all, so I quickly grabbed his right hand resulting to his sudden lost of balance. I gulped, he’s too close! I made a quick touch upon myself.

“I-I told you, I’ll go alone, just go with Rhea and you must be tired.” I reasoned out.

“You’re best friend told me to come here and accompany you.” he played with his hair.

You should’ve argued with her, you’re making me uncomfortable! A thought from my mind, and what’s the reason I am feeling discomfort? Shit. I am afraid of the answer. I’ll never answer that! As in no!

“Come on, let’s search for your phone together.” he winked at me, is it a friendly wink? You’re digging your own grave Stella! That’s too much, please! You’re not going to hurt your friend, right? She’s the only person who have right now. Okay, fine. Just this once, after this one… I’ll stop, he’ll just help me find my phone right? No more, no less. I heaved a sigh. “Fine. Let’s go.” he smiled at me as he asked my hand, my hand?

“Let’s run together, hand in hand.” said he. I was confused, did he… “You’re so stubborn.” the moment I came back to my senses, we are already running, my left hand is attached into his. Damn, I am lost.

“Are you really sure that you left it in here?”

“This is the last place I hold my phone, but maybe… Someone already stole it, you know.” that’s practicality, there is no human in this Earth who is not struggling, be it financially or not. At some point in our lives, we have to take a path wherein it is full challenges.  We somehow used things inappropriate, but given the situation? Human doesn’t have choice.

“I’ll just buy a new phone. It’s my fault I know.” I made an expressionless face. “Hey, what are you doing?” I saw him checking out the whole place again, he already did that while scanning for my phone! What is it, this time? Afterwards, he slowly opened the door, his eyes looked as if he was searching for someone, seconds after, he locked it. I was about to ask him when he suddenly pinned me against the wall. He mouthed a shhh sign as he covered my lips. The next thing I knew, he was already playing with my lips. Shit! I was hesitant, I didn’t know how to kiss, I’ve never experienced it! This is the first time! He was just there, waiting for me respond.

“Follow what I am doing.” he commanded.

I shook my head, this isn’t right! “L-let go of me.” he didn’t even move an inch, he was just staring at me. He then cupped my face using his hands, his eyes! The burning sensation is there, is it just a lust? He pushed himself against me, again. I cannot do this but damn. He was kissing me again! I never want to respond, I know that! But when I felt his touch under my breast, my mouth went suddenly open resulting into a favorable situation for him! He’s using a trick! He definitely got me in there!

“I know you like this.” he whispered between his kisses. I can sense the guts of him, smiling or rather smirking? Stella, you are really out of your mind! He paused, enough for me to catch my breath. Seconds later, he was attacking my lips again. This time, I followed his way, I responded quickly! For a moment, the surrounding vision suddenly faded away, all that existed was him, only Tristan. “I want you”.” his voice is too powerful, I just found myself continuously nodding without even thinking. His soft kisses turns into a rough one, he is creating a hard way through my mouth, I keep on breathing heavily, after which, his kisses was found in my neck. My body heated as I felt it, I am drowned, literally blinded by the sensation.

My heart pounded in my chest, I can literally feel the heating fire! The smell of him hypnotic beyond the situation, my whole system was in chaos as I felt the tingling sensation within me, by the time I was aware of his fingers, they had already slipped under my shirt. He was slowly unlocking it, softly touched it. As if time had stopped right there, as we leaned, glued to each other and as if no one can be in between, we are doing our neglected ritual together.

“Did you guys found it? I bet no, the look in your eyes Stell. Don’t worry, just buy another one. You don’t have any important files in that phone, right? Only your contacts and some pictures?”

I calmed myself, my heart is in shocked. The mousy feeling is still in there, what did I do? Really?

“You’re right love, just buy another phone. Let’s eat? Did you order some food?”

How can he be so easygoing at this rate? We kissed! We kissed as if we’re in a relationship when in fact we are not! How can he say love, to her knowing that he kissed other woman? And why did I let that happen in the very first place?!

“Hey, Stell. What’s going on? Are you fine?” she flexed her hands in my face. I snapped! My hands, it is trembling! “You seem cold, ah right! It is already past six maybe the cold breeze is on its way to come again. Let’s eat quickly so that we can sleep, we need the energy for tomorrow’s adventure.

It’s weird, you rarely felt cold. Maybe, people change as time passes by, right?” she held my hand and smiled. I was close at crying, how did I let myself get drowned?

How did I get the courage? Is it a courage? It is not! It was a mistake! I should’ve not agreed coming in here, this is hilarious!

“Have a good sleep, okay? Don’t feel too tense, your mom is fine, I am telling you. We’re here to enjoy. Don’t be so grumpy hmm? That’s not the Stella I know.” her hands automatically pinched my cheek and kissed it afterwards, I just… Fuck!

“Goodnight, Stella.” Tristan on the other hand, just waved his hand. I couldn’t understand! Why is he so calm after what happened?! They both stepped their foot out in my room, I heard the click sound as they locked it. Right away, I felt my cheeks suddenly get wet by the rushing tears made by my eyes. What did I do? How can I do that to her? Her words, it stuck right here in my heart, it seems like a knife being pulled and bleeds a lot. Truly, I changed. I changed into someone, a monster! I cannot imagine myself right now and I cannot even think properly!

“You’re not like this Stell, what happened to you?” I asked myself, I am facing the mirror right now. There I saw myself, I felt dirty! I wasn’t like this! I cried and cried as if it could undo the guilt I had committed. I want to shout, I want to hurt myself for I know that doesn’t have the right to call her my friend, I cheated. I committed a huge sin, this feeling, I know this is hard to explain but, it is unforgivable.

I wanted it, at that moment I know to myself that I want it. I just couldn’t accept it the way it is because I know that it isn’t right. No matter how I tried to explain, it doesn’t change the fact that what I did is wrong. I cheated with him, I didn’t know why I did that, maybe it was the sudden impulse? Attractiveness? A crush? I don’t know! It is still wrong!

I woke up, feeling dazed. My eyes are somehow puffy, they won’t notice it right?

“Good morning! Adventure is coming, you excited?” as usual, her cheerful sound is present. I faked a smile, there you again Stella, pretending. You’re such a great actress, a mask!

“Where are we going this time?” I tried really hard to make it sounds like a happy one. She was holding a map, she really is a cutie. How can I do this to her?

“Um.” she held her chin, trying to think which is the best place. She showed me the place on her phone, I gasped. This is beautiful!

“What do you think?” her eyes sparkled so do I!

“This is awesome!” I commented.

“Hmm, this is can be seen in here.” she opened her map.

“Mount Hilakris, you know Aristella right? Her boyfriend proposed in here, see? Amazing isn’t? I saw it in her Instagram once and made a research, this is a perfect place for hiking. The view, I mean… The moment you got to see the whole place this up, you’ll shiver in owe! The excites in her tone is more likely a way to describe it as an enjoyable adventure.

“I already prepared everything and look at you, the outfit fits you so much! You’re an adorable cutie!” she exclaimed. You didn’t know how much I feel sorry Rhea, please… Do not praise me, I cannot stand it, I might break down.

“All set, let’s go. The hours of driving maybe takes an hour or two, after we arrived there, do our routine and voilà after three hours we got finally see the view of sunset in there. Sounds fun, right Stell.” he looked at me in the eye, huh? Why… “O-of course, that’s good.” I answered, it sounds like an uneasy tone? I wish not.

I looked at the time, it was past eleven. We ate a lunch early and maybe by four or five in the afternoon, we are already at the top waiting for the sun to finally set. I wonder why does everyone seem so happy watching the sun slowly lost its power to shine? Well, I do not know. Maybe, the relaxation is what they feel? But for me, I love to see the sunrise more. I mean, I am not harming anyone’s opinions, all opinions are valid after all. But as I saw the sun slowly rising, it gives so much motivation. Like, after all the pain you’ve encountered so far you’ll probably get the chance to step forward for you know that you still need to live the life given to you, it was exhausting of course. But does life really comes in a great pleasure now and then? I bet no.

How about me then? How am I going to stop these feelings of mine? How can I step forward How can I wake up from this nightmare that is slowly eating me.

“I’m tired!” Rhea’s shout filled all over the place, I offered her the water, and she immediately tok it.

“I really need to practice my immune system, it is getting lower and lower every day!” she hissed.

“I told you Love, even in bed you seem so always tired!” Tristan laughed and pulled a joke. Rhea’s hands ultimately landed on his chest. “Hey! Filter your mouth, you sneaky bastard!” she fastened her walk and cling into my arms.

“Don’t mind him, let’s go!” his laughter continues.

“This scene, it is relaxing.”

We are already at the top, the view can really captivate every person who’ll witness this. I sat on the rock, it is a little uncomfortable but can be bearable.

“Stell, can you take a picture of us later? I’ll upload it on my Instagram.” Rhea was holding her phone, damn that phone. If only I didn’t lose my phone, this will never happen, cursed that phone!

“Sure.” I responded quickly at her request. She mouthed a thank you and continued searching for a place. They are busy looking for a place, maybe to take a picture, and I was here, just staring at the sky. Any minute from now, the sun will set. I opened my new phone, I took a picture of the sky, maybe a remembrance for my mistake?

“Do you want to take a picture? Give it to me, I’ll take some shots.”

“No need, it’s fine. Thank you.” I disregard his generosity, why is he here by the way?

“Give it a try Stell.  He’s quite a good photographer, I’m telling you!” Rhea is a few meters away from us. I sighed. I gave him my phone, I posed a little. After almost five shots, I told him that it is enough. As he gave back my phone, he slightly touched my hand. I felt a slight flow of electricity in my body.

“W-what are you doing?”

He sneered. “ Maybe, trying to get your attention?”

What?!