CHAPTER I INNA

Nanginginig ang aking mga kamay habang tinutipi ko ang sulat pabalik sa kahon. Lumang luma na ito at halatang pinatagal na ng panahon. Medyo confusing ang tula but I was so moved by it, how tragic could it be.

Isang kwento ng pag ibig? Para siyang istorya. Siguro kung iba nakabasa neto hindi nila maiintindihan, sabagay sumakit nga ulo ko. Nakakabilis ng pintig ng puso parang libro. Tatayo na sana ako galing sa pagkakaupo’ng Indian sit ng may maramdaman akong malamig sensasyon na dumampi sa aking balat, ang lamig ng hangin. Biglang bumukas ang pinto, mabilis akong lumingon ngunit biglang umikot ang paligid. Lumakas ang hangin at parang may nabuong buhawi. Hindi ako makatayo. Pinaikutan ako nito at di naglaon ay nakulong ako sa loob ng sa tingin ko’y buhawi, hindi ko maintindihan, parang hinihila ako pababa at nililipad rin ako pataas. Iniikot ako ng hangin and I can’t scream for help, no words are able to come out of my mouth. I can’t breathe, the air around me is intoxicating.

“ahhhhhhhhhh!” napamulat akong sumisigaw kasabay ang pagbukas ng pinto sa kwarto ko ay ang pagpasok nina mama at papa.

“Anak?” gulat na tanong ni mama. Panaginip lang.

“Okay ka lang ba nak?” dugtong na tanong ni papa habang hinawakan ako sa balikat, si mama naman hinihimas ang buhok ko.

“May nakita ka ba?” habang tinitingnan ni papa ang labas ng bintana ko.

“It was just a dream,” I said nodding my head and assuring them I’m okay. A dream that’s so familiar, it felt real yet so surreal.

“You’re okay?” paninigurado ni mama. I nodded my head to assure her.

“I’ll just go back to sleep,” I said as I fix my blanket preparing to lie down again.

“Sige na, Mom, Dad, you should go back to sleep too” they bid their goodnights at naunang umalis si Papa.

“Darling, do you want your lamp on?” Tanong ni mama kaya napatingin ako sa bedside lamp na nasa kabilang bahagi ng kwarto, mas ginagamit ko kasi pag nag aaral ako o kaya gumagawa ng homeworks kesa ilagay sa bedside table ko.

“Ako na Ma”

“Goodnight, pray so you can sleep well” she reminds me as she kisses my head. I run to turn on the bedroom lamp and quickly prayed.

Naglalakad ako pauwi galing school, kasalukuyan akong paliko sa village namin nang mapatingin ako sa ibaba at bigla akong nasilaw na muntikan  na akong  matisod, napatingin ako sa bagay na muntik ko ng ikatisod. Kumikinang ito, sandali ko pang tinitigan para maaninag ito ng maayos.

Is that a gem? I don’t think so, but let’s see what kind of jewel is this.

I picked up the shiny thing to look at it closely, it is indeed a gem for me. I’m not sure, but it looks like one as I held it up in different angles to check clearly. While I was putting it in my bag’s pocket to make sure I got to keep this beauty, I notice that the house in front of me looks so familiar and I don’t know why. Must be because I am a fan of traditional and ancient houses, I love preserving and reconstructing old beauty. I’m studying for a Bachelor of Science in Architecture, I’m okay not studying abroad. I love the country- I love it here although at some point I feel like my parents want me away because they kept on encouraging me to enroll in Chicago for a Bachelor of Arts in Architectural Studies. I don’t want to, I’m fine here.

I don’t want to be away from mom and dad besides I believe that education and being successful does not require you to travel to other countries that much. I’d rather be here serving in my own country.

Kasalukuyan ako ngayong nasa library hinahanap ko ang Geometry book na kailangan ng pinsan kong si Kyle. I rolled my eyes in irritation. I hate losing, now I have to find the least book I like here. Don’t get me wrong I love spending my life inside a library and read books. This could be better if I’m reading a history book or a classic novel. Instead, I’m supposed to find a mathematics book and math is not even the least I like, it’s what I don’t like. Napunta ako sa mathematics shelf at maingat kong sinusuri ang mga pangalan ng libro para masiguradong wala akong na-skip at ayoko ng magtagal dito. Ba’t ba ako natalo sa pustahang yun. I slowly slapped my forehead with my left hand as the thought of losing in that stupid bet comes back to my mind.

That’s it! I think this is it. Marahan akong yumuko para isakto ang mukha ko sa libro. Baka kasi maling libro na naman and I’m telling you ang hirap bumalik ng libro sa masikip na aisle. I tapped my index finger to examine it closely then lift it with my index and thumb finger. I grasped it with force but it won’t go my way. ANO BA NAMAN TO? Mas hinila ko pa ng malakas pero ayaw.

 “Shit!”’

Naririnig ko na sinasabi ng utak ko pero naisip ko bakit ko naman maririnig sinasabi ng utak ko, medyo lumuwag ang hawak ko sa libro kaya nahugot ng sa kabila. The heck. Kaya pala di ko makuha dito dahil may humuhugot din sa kabila.

I stared at him wide-eyed. Pesteng blue-eyed to! But he’s just looking at the book closely and flipping through its pages. He slammed it back to the rack and I was gleaming with joy inside. Che! Di naman pala kailangan aagawin pa sakin. Bastos.

As soon as I saw the book’s title, my shoulders fell as I read it “GEOMETRY IV” and not III. If I'm not mistaken, I’ve been here for three hours already. Natanong ko na ang mga facilitator kung saang shelf talaga yun at medyo napalakas boses ko kaya napatingin ang mga high school students sakin.

They might be thinking why a college student like me is asking for an old high school book.

 “Great. Thank you” I said my thanks to the facilitator assessing me the way I like it, oh yes because I clearly like it when they’re eyeing you up and down like I’m a weirdo while she’s pointing me across the hall. Well, this is my own style! Get a life and stop tailing trends, your bandwagons.

“Another great!” I muttered in annoyance habang palapit sa shelves at mapagtantong nasa mataas ang mathematics book na hinahanap ko.  Pilit ko parin inaabot ang libro. I’m basically tiptoeing and jumping at the same time nang may nakita akong kamay na inabot iyon, binaba ko ang tingin sa braso nya and he has this tattoo that I can’t figure out what in his kinda bulging mass of muscles.  The way I like it as I hide my lips in my mouth then licks it-and-No I am not a maniac then trails my eye down only to find it as a big no brainer move- I can see the hem of his shirt being pulled upward so I can see some- “Seeing something you like, Miss”

“Thank you” tipid kong sabi at tumingin sa taas- Shit blue-eyed- Si Mr. blue eyes.

“Ahmm thanks, I’ll take it’’ sabi ko at tipid na ngumiti as I reach for the book from his hand pero hindi nya parin binibitawan ang libro.

“No thanks Miss, this is mine.’’

“Excuse me,” I asked him with questioning eyes.

“You heard it right. You may be excused, Miss”

“aer- Ang kapal mo! Ibigay mo na sakin ANG LIBRO KO at aalis na ako.” Diin sa pinahinaang boses ko dahil nasa library kami na nangngingitngit na ako.

“Huh, this is a library’s book. Hindi mo pwedeng angkinin ang hindi mo pag aari Miss” marahan syang yumuko din at hininaan ang boses.

“Ako nakaunang kumuha diyan kaya akin yan at bakit hindi ka naka uniform”

“No. this wasn’t even near your hand when I got this. None of your business”

This blue-eyed guy is unbelievable.

“and-because I thought you were helping me,” I said as I point a finger at him.

“Well you thought wrong. The same way with how you dress” TF hinawakan ko ang magkabilang bewang ko at lumapit sa kanya.

“Well you don’t get to tell me how I dress” at pilit kinukuha sakanya ang libro. Nag aagawan kami ng libro ng may biglang tumikhim sa likod namin.

“Uhmm, I’ll help you with that Miss” Sabi niya habang kumuha pa nang isa at dun ko lang napagtanto na halos majority ng libro sa taas na shelf ay ang librong pinagaawayan namin.

 “Clearly wasting my time here. Lesson learned wag mang agaw ng hindi sayo MISS” Ang kapallll talagaaaaaaaa.

“Hoy hindi sayo yan, sa LIBRARY yan!” pahabol kong medyo sigaw. I quickly covered my mouth as soon as I realize I’ve raised my voice.

“So what’s the commotion about?” he said handing me the book.

 “Thanks. I really am.”

“Hindi ko kasi abot” pagpapatuloy ko while scratching the back of my head.

“Don’t worry about it and I apologize for my brother”

“hah. Kapatid mo yun” medyo gulat na natatawang kong sabat

“Yeah. But fortunately for me, I’m more gentleman than him” sabi niya with matching kindat pa.

“Cool. Gotta go” I said pointing the way out.

“You’re cool. Mostly girls forgot their attitude when they’re with him” natatawa nyang sabi.

He has these amber eyes, a very very light brown color and for some reason, it radiated while he’s half laughing and smiling. Well, cool boys aren’t for weird girls like me.