NATE'S POVI lay on my giant bean bag and think of her.The way her voice sounds when she's excited about some little thing, such as a the little silver bullet pinging back to the stop of a silly arcade game, or how it turns dreamy when she talks about pursuing her career in medicine.It is strange, because when she talks about becoming a doctor, she sounds cautious, like she's worried that I will shoot her aspirations down. Which is odd because her father is the greatest neurosurgeon in the state of North Carolina. And, who wouldn't want to brag about wanting to save lives?She is bound to be something great because she is great.Which worries me. I have thought every second of every day since kindergarten about this girl and now she actually knows I'm alive. Which also worries me.I feel alive when I am with her--actually, I feel nervous and anxious and all above terrified, but that's only because I don't understand how I can feel all this. It's like I'm the dog and Kelly has finall
Doesn't she know that it's girls like her that men like to have in their trophy case? And the fact that she is clearly intoxicated just asks for more problems. Why did she drink so much tonight, anyway?"Calm down, Daddy. Would you rather I drove?" My body stills and my heart stops in my chest. Actually halts in shock and a little of something else that I am ashamed to claim. Kelly laughs at my reaction which makes my cheeks heat more if that is even possible. My body burns like the surface of Mars. "I'm sorry," Kelly hiccups and she laughs some more. "Nate, do you happen to have some water I could drink?"I nod and start to get up and away from this predicament my mind and body is having with each other but Kelly forces me back down. "Just tell me where and I will get it myself. I didn't come here to bother you."I clear my throat because her hand print is now searing on my shoulder. "Second cabinet on the top," I say in a rush. I go to push the bridge of my glasses up and over m
NATE'S POV"Are you ready, Nathaniel?" Dr. Henderson asks while fingering the bandage that is wrapped around the top of my head in order to cover my eyes."Yes." But was I really? What if the world is darker than what it appeared to be while blind? It felt darker without her in it. She should be here. I had planned on her being here but she had to go and do the thing I most feared. She used me.Kelly lied to me. And that hurt more than the constant pounding in my head since the surgery."Now, I must warn you," her father says as he begins to unravel the gauze. "You will feel discomfort with bright light. Try to continue to wear the glasses or at least a pair of sunglasses for the next week inside as well as outside. Actually," he finishes taking off the wrap, "we suggest you stay away from direct sunlight for the first few days because it could cause more damage but nothing time won't heal."I keep my eyes closed. What if the surgery didn't work? What if I remain in the darkness forev
This will be the last chapter Nate's POV friends! This last chapter is being taken place after Nate takes Kelly to the dock and they see their shooting star. It's just an on going chapter in his point of view to wrap things up:) Feel the feels, folks.________________________I take Kelly by the hand, loving the way her fingers look tangled with mine as we walk into the lake house. She's smiling. It's soft, like an angel's feather, but it's there, and she's looking at me in a way that makes me feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. It almost physically hurts to see just how beautiful she is. Her hair, as soft as my imagination remembers, looks like a halo around her face. Her small baby hairs fly away from the cool lake breeze and the simple sight of it all puts me in awe.My fingers fumble with the key to the house. Kelly's hand is still gripped in mine and like always, she picks up on my anxiety and wraps her other hand around our combined ones and leans in and ki
Nate takes forever as I wait for him at the top of the stairs. "Let's go, slowpoke! I only have a few more hours until I have to catch my flight." I spin around and lean against the railing to look sweetly down at him. I can't help but grin as he huffs and puffs, taking one step after the other. "What have you been doing at that Ivy League of yours? Track?" Nate shakes his head and laughs at himself as he makes it to me. "I've actually taken up rowing," I tell him with a smile. I flex my newly toned arms before wrapping them around his neck, enjoying the superiority of being one step higher than him. "Look at you," Nate praises with a crooked grin that makes me lean into him further. "My very own Kate Middleton."My laugher echos off the concrete walls of Nate's dorm building. I lean down and kiss him soundly on the mouth. He sighs into it which makes me feel light and content."Thanks again for staying up late to watch the royal wedding with me." I pull back and look into his eye
Everyone around me was either scared of me or admired me. It could be a mixture of both and I didn't blame them. Sometimes I am scared of me too.High school is hard and sometimes you need to blend in to survive. But after that night, the night that haunts my dreams and has me confessing my sins during Sunday mass, I feel myself becoming more and more scared. Feral, almost. Like I am afraid of losing my place or stepping out of line which could make my future disappear.I wasn't the person to put the dynamite in those geeks' rocketship. And I also wasn't the person who laughed about it afterwards, shocked at first while riding in the bed of Daniel Greyson's truck, then nervously laughing until the site was behind us.But I was the person who called 911 after the kid lit the chemistry experiment off in the open field. And I was the person who had Danny pullover so I could vomit on the side of the road at the thought that those kids could be dead at what was supposed to be a stupid pran
As I make my way to where Nathaniel is sitting, my flight or fight is in full power. I push it down because I know I am being silly. He doesn't even know I had anything to do with his accident. He didn't even know I was the one who got ahold of the dispatcher first.I sit in the empty desk to his right and hold my breath as I lower myself down.Nathaniel fumbles with his paper which sits in front of him at his desk. When he remains silent, I know I am going to have to be the one to strike up conversation."Hi, there," I say. I clear my throat when my voice comes out sounding like I am being strangled. I watch his face as he taps his pencil on the wood of the desk. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "I am Kelly.""I k-know who you are," he stutters back.My heart momentarily stops at his words. Oh God, he knows."You do?"Nathaniel bitterly laughs which catches me off guard. He shakes his head when he catches himself. The snicker of a smile leaves his lips and instead, he clamps his tee
I get to Bio extra early the next day just so I can snag the seat next to the one that Nathaniel sat in yesterday. My friends try getting my attention a few times to come and sit in the back with them, but I shake them off and try my hardest to feel sincere.When the sound of tapping comes into reach, I mentally prepare myself by straightening the pencil in alignment with my notebook and casually fold my hands across on desk."Good Morning, Nate," I say once he has sat down in the same spot he had yesterday. He jumps slightly in his seat but recovers quickly by murmuring good morning back."It's okay if I call you Nate, right? Nathaniel is such a mouthful." I did like the old sound of it.He nods his head timidly, his cheeks lightly turning pink. He takes out his phone from his pocket of the dark gray hoodie he seems to like and presses the screen. He then takes out ear buds and lets them dangle around his neck.I am just about to ask him what he is listening to when Mr. Faunt instruc
Nate takes forever as I wait for him at the top of the stairs. "Let's go, slowpoke! I only have a few more hours until I have to catch my flight." I spin around and lean against the railing to look sweetly down at him. I can't help but grin as he huffs and puffs, taking one step after the other. "What have you been doing at that Ivy League of yours? Track?" Nate shakes his head and laughs at himself as he makes it to me. "I've actually taken up rowing," I tell him with a smile. I flex my newly toned arms before wrapping them around his neck, enjoying the superiority of being one step higher than him. "Look at you," Nate praises with a crooked grin that makes me lean into him further. "My very own Kate Middleton."My laugher echos off the concrete walls of Nate's dorm building. I lean down and kiss him soundly on the mouth. He sighs into it which makes me feel light and content."Thanks again for staying up late to watch the royal wedding with me." I pull back and look into his eye
This will be the last chapter Nate's POV friends! This last chapter is being taken place after Nate takes Kelly to the dock and they see their shooting star. It's just an on going chapter in his point of view to wrap things up:) Feel the feels, folks.________________________I take Kelly by the hand, loving the way her fingers look tangled with mine as we walk into the lake house. She's smiling. It's soft, like an angel's feather, but it's there, and she's looking at me in a way that makes me feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. It almost physically hurts to see just how beautiful she is. Her hair, as soft as my imagination remembers, looks like a halo around her face. Her small baby hairs fly away from the cool lake breeze and the simple sight of it all puts me in awe.My fingers fumble with the key to the house. Kelly's hand is still gripped in mine and like always, she picks up on my anxiety and wraps her other hand around our combined ones and leans in and ki
NATE'S POV"Are you ready, Nathaniel?" Dr. Henderson asks while fingering the bandage that is wrapped around the top of my head in order to cover my eyes."Yes." But was I really? What if the world is darker than what it appeared to be while blind? It felt darker without her in it. She should be here. I had planned on her being here but she had to go and do the thing I most feared. She used me.Kelly lied to me. And that hurt more than the constant pounding in my head since the surgery."Now, I must warn you," her father says as he begins to unravel the gauze. "You will feel discomfort with bright light. Try to continue to wear the glasses or at least a pair of sunglasses for the next week inside as well as outside. Actually," he finishes taking off the wrap, "we suggest you stay away from direct sunlight for the first few days because it could cause more damage but nothing time won't heal."I keep my eyes closed. What if the surgery didn't work? What if I remain in the darkness forev
Doesn't she know that it's girls like her that men like to have in their trophy case? And the fact that she is clearly intoxicated just asks for more problems. Why did she drink so much tonight, anyway?"Calm down, Daddy. Would you rather I drove?" My body stills and my heart stops in my chest. Actually halts in shock and a little of something else that I am ashamed to claim. Kelly laughs at my reaction which makes my cheeks heat more if that is even possible. My body burns like the surface of Mars. "I'm sorry," Kelly hiccups and she laughs some more. "Nate, do you happen to have some water I could drink?"I nod and start to get up and away from this predicament my mind and body is having with each other but Kelly forces me back down. "Just tell me where and I will get it myself. I didn't come here to bother you."I clear my throat because her hand print is now searing on my shoulder. "Second cabinet on the top," I say in a rush. I go to push the bridge of my glasses up and over m
NATE'S POVI lay on my giant bean bag and think of her.The way her voice sounds when she's excited about some little thing, such as a the little silver bullet pinging back to the stop of a silly arcade game, or how it turns dreamy when she talks about pursuing her career in medicine.It is strange, because when she talks about becoming a doctor, she sounds cautious, like she's worried that I will shoot her aspirations down. Which is odd because her father is the greatest neurosurgeon in the state of North Carolina. And, who wouldn't want to brag about wanting to save lives?She is bound to be something great because she is great.Which worries me. I have thought every second of every day since kindergarten about this girl and now she actually knows I'm alive. Which also worries me.I feel alive when I am with her--actually, I feel nervous and anxious and all above terrified, but that's only because I don't understand how I can feel all this. It's like I'm the dog and Kelly has finall
NATE'S POV"You don't have to start today," my mother tells me while sitting in her Traverse. "We can try again in another week. There's no rush.""No, I don't want to get more behind."I can tell she is nervous by the way she is chomping her gum. I can imagine her knuckles stressing white as she grips the steering wheel.My mother laughs softly. "You're the smartest kid in this school, Natty. There's no way you could fall behind. Plus," she rubs my back affectionately, "I did a pretty good job on my end last year."I roll my eyes behind the dark framed glasses I have taken a liking to since Trent gifted them to me for my birthday last year which I spent in the hospital. "Now you look like Zac Efron in one of those chick films," my friend had said with what I imagined was a strutt and a model turn around my hospital bed. The raybans may look cliche, but it bothers me when people can see my eyes and I can't see theirs."I would say I was more of the teacher and you the student," I joke
NATE'S POV "Are you even listening to me?" Molly questions as she wrings her hands in her lap. I mumble a yes but my eyes stay glued on Kelly Henderson as she sits by herself on a park bench.Why was she alone? She is never alone. There is always some girl or group of people surrounding her like a swarm of bees. But I guess that's the type of attention you get when you're queen bee."No, you are not. Nathaniel!" Molly waps me on the arm and I flinch back. "This is serious. She kissed me. And..." Molly's face reddens and she gnaws at her lip. Trent talks a lot about Molly's lips. I think he has a crush on her. "I liked it.""Maybe you're Katy Perry," I offer as insight. Truth is, I wasn't really listening. But my cheeks burn a little at her confession. I did hear that.Molly's eyes roll skyward and she doesn't smile like I expect her to. Usually I could make her laugh seeming she found me too geeky to function, as she put it, but I like her. She is a little rough around the edges but
Nate grips my hand tighter as we make our way through the airport. People rush around us, running to catch their planes while Nate and I are clearly hesitant in leaving each other's sight. The clear sound of last calls ring through the vast area, setting the deep tendrils of dread to cling on tightly. These past months with Nate only set me up for more sorrow as the ticking time bomb known as the future krept up like a ghost lurking amongst the living. We have spent every waking moment together and the thought of being seperated for a single second hurts more than I would like to dwell on."Maybe I could stay another week," Nate suggests, looking around the airport as if someone would agree with him and that would make it settled. "We still haven't gotten to that circus movie you wanted to go to. There's still time.""Nathaniel," I say with a smile because the thought of spending more time with him is tempting. "Your summer program starts on Monday. There isn't anymore time.""That'
Nate looks over his shoulder and gazes reverently down at me. "I want to take you somewhere to show you something."I can physically feel the whiplash of tonight's events. "Let me go get my car," I suggest and start to pull him the opposite way but he pulls me so I am flushed against his body. He grins down at me while reaching into his pocket and pulls out a set of keys to dangle in front of my face. "I can drive." My mouth wobbles open and close at the fact that I momentarily forgot that he can see again. Before, I always forgot that he couldn't and now it is the other way around. Nate rolls his eyes dramatically. "I have my license, babe."My mouth snaps shut and my heart warms at the endearment that I will never not fill my stomach with butterflies. I lean up and kiss him longingly before lacing my fingers back with his and allow him to pull me to his car. It seems that his parents have bought him a black pickup, which makes me laugh when he opens the passenger side door for