Cápitulo Cuatro
earth meets the ocean
Life has taught me that we can never have everything we want. At my young age, my experience and the experiences of the people around me had help me realize that no matter how much we tried to plan things accordingly, it doesn't really go well on our way, that some things are bound not to end as what we have expected to be.
Siguro ganun talaga. I remember a movie adaptation from one of my favorite book. The girl said on her death bed that maybe, things didn't work according to our plan because God has better and greater plans for us than we already have for ourselves.
Oo, ganun siguro talaga. Matagal ko nang pinanghahawakan ang mga katagang iyon noon pa man kaya naman ang plano kong pagpuslit sa hardin ng Hacienda de la Valiente ay napurnada. Unfortunately and unconsciously, the dance took almost most of my time. Not that I have a lot though. Habang ang konting oras na meron akong natitira ay naubos sa paghahanap kung saan naman ba ang daan patungo roon sa Hardin.
Stupid of me to not think about that part before going. It was just then at that moment when I realize that I don't have the exact path to go to. Nakalimutan kong hindi ko nga pala alam ang daan patungo roon sa hardin ng puting rosas. I don't know exactly the whereabouts of the Hacienda De la Valiente. In fact, it was the very first time I step foot on that land.
Probably the next time, I should just have plan on how to go through those stupid Bob wires. Yung lang naman ang daan na alam ko. That is, if fate favors my luck.
I just can't imagine my grandmother's wrath knowing what I did that night . Buti nalang ay agad akong nahanap ni Amia sa may tarangkahan kung saan ang palagay ko ay ang parte ng rancho ng mga Valiente. We went home just 20 minutes before the clock strikes to 9 at the evening.
The gates of Hacienda Illustration always close at exactly 9pm. Tawang tawa kami ni Amia habang naglalakad sa gilid ng mahabang daan patungo sa bukana ng aming Hacienda kahit gabi na. There weren't much street lights but I guess the moon and stars favors us this time to light our path. Nasa loob ng Hacienda lang naman din ang tirahan nina Amia kaya okay na okay lang. Buti nalang din at magkasundo kami nina Mang Jowel at Mang Udo na nakatuka lagi sa pagbabantay ng gate tuwing gabi. Alam kong hindi nila ako isusumbong tuwing tumatakas ako.
"At saan ka na naman pupunta, Caenaella Solace? Malapit na magtanghalian, baka tumawag na naman ang Abuela at Abuelo mo at hanapin na naman kayo magka-kapatid, nako! HIndi ko talaga alam saan ka nag mana, bata ka oh-uh." kabababa ko pa nga lang sa mahabang hagdan ay ang nababahala na naman na boses ni Nana ang maririnig ko.
I laugh and roll my eyes cheekily when I look at my wrist watch. Anong magtatanghalian eh, kaka-alas nwebe pa nga lang ng umaga.
"Nana, chill. sige ka ang wrinkles mo dadami." biro ko habang lumalapit sa kaniya. Sumimangot naman siya agad at inambahan pa akong kukurutin sa tagiliran. I laugh again as I kiss her at the cheeks and hug her.
Umalis sina Máma at Pápa kanina pang umaga pagkatapos namin mag-agahan patungo sa Maynila upang asikasuhin ang isang branch ng negosyo ni Máma. Babalik din naman sila sa susunod na lingo. Si Abuela at Abuelo ay hindi pa rin umuuwi sa kanilang bakasyon sa Madrid kasama sila Lola Celeste at Lolo Hector upang bisitahin ang ibang mga kamag-anakan namin roon. And their departure only means one thing, UNLIMITED FREEDOM FOR ME!
Halos mapunit ang aking labi sa kakangiti at tawa simula pa nung ihatid namin ang aming mga magulang sa kanilang sasakyan. It was heartbreaking to see my parents leave, alright. No matter how we got use to it. Pero alam naman namin na babalik din naman sila. We only pray for their safety, always.
And it's scary to think how we get use to something and sometimes, we also learn how to tolerate it in the process. Ay! Ano ba yan. Ang dami ko naman atang sinabi. Basta, minsan lang ang ganitong wala sila sabay kaya nagiging suwail kaming magkakapatid tuwing ganito.
Mari Stela tend to skip her special classes and my twin sister... well, hindi ko alam saan na naman yun. But I know she won't leave the hacienda for long. So will Mari Stela whom I think is playing with her pony again. Ako lang naman sa amin ang nag do-Dora the explorer na panay lumalabas sa Hacienda. We were deprived of that kind of freedom before, and I think it's only my right to savor the privilege we have now.
"Maaga pa, Nana. At tsaka, sasamahan ko lang si Amia sa palengke." nakanguso akong kumalas sa aniya. Nakasimangot pa rin siya at napameywang. "Nana, si Zoryñe dapat ang binabantayan mo. Palagi nalang nawawala ang isang iyon. At tsaka si Mari Stela po, hindi na naman papasok sa special classes niya." nag beautiful eyes pa ako habang nagsusumbong sa kaniya. Nagbabaka-sakali lang naman tumalab ang pag papa-cute ko kay Nana hihi
"Umalis ang kakabal mo papuntang Naawan at may bibilhin daw. Sinama ang sasakyan at driver kaya hindi ka rin makaka-alis at wala ka ring magagamit na sasakyan." napangisi ako sa kaniyang turan. Syempre, alam ko ang posibilidad na yun at dahil always ready ako, wala sa plan ko ngayong araw ang gumamit ng sasakyan. At mas lalong hindi ako pwedeng gumamit ng isa sa mga kabayo dahil lalabas ako ng hacienda.
"Nana! Ano akala mo sa akin, walang paa? Syempre maglalakad lang po kami tutal ay maganda naman ang panahon ngayon. Isasama ko rin ang alaga ko kaya lalaban sa exercise!" masigla kong nilapitan ang maliit na cage ng alaga kong biik na nasa gilid lang ng sofa. I took her out of the cage and I giggled as I look at her light purple scarf around her neck.
Partner ito sa kulay light purple na umaabot lagpas tuhod kong bistida. I paired it with my favorite black boots that almost reach my knee. Inayos ko naman ang twin scarf nito na nasa aking leeg. I pulled it up to cover my head and smiled at my cute little pig.
"Alis na po kami, Nana. Uuwi din po ako agad." paalam ko nang balingan ko si Nana. She shook her head and nodded.
"Basta at mag-ingat kayo, Caenaella Solace. Sa oras na may makita ako kahit isang gasgas sayo, sinasabi ko talaga sa'yong bata ka." I smiled at her remarks. Si Nana talaga, galit-galitan eh concern naman.
"Syempre po! Bye, Nana. Love you po." I giggled as she roll her eyes again and smiled.
Lumabas ako sa Casa at napangiwi ng matanaw kung gaano kalayo ang bukana ng Hacienda sa mismong Casa Llorona. Sakto naman at nang napabaling sa gilid ay nakita ko si Aling Tanya na papasakay sa kalesa. Kasama niya si Kuya Undoy at paniguradong naghatid sila ng mga supply sa dalawang Casa. Agad kong tinawag ang atesyon si Aling Tanya at kumaway. The old woman look confused as she tried to find the voice who called her from a far but as soon she saw it was me, she wave her hand back.
Inayos ko ang alagang dala sa pagkakahawak sa gilid at dali-daling bumaba sa hagdan patungo sa kanila.
"Señorita Caenaella!" bati niya. I smiled at Kuya Undoy when he slight bowed his head and smile to acknowledge my arrival as he carried an empty box back on the Kalesa. Lumapit ako kay Aling Tanya at nagmano.
"Saan po kayo?" tanong ko. Tinignan ko si Kuya Undoy nang sumakay siya sa ibabaw ng kalabaw.
"Pupunta kami sa may Barn house at ihahatid naming itong mga dayami. Kakagaling lang din namin sa Green house. Naghatid lang kami ng iilang supply ng mga prutas at gulay, Señorita." aniya. " Nga pala, at anong maipaglilingkod namin sainyo?" tanong niya. Ngumisi naman ako sa kaniya pagkatapos pasadahan ang buong kalesa. Isang upuan lang sa unahan ang naroon at paniguradong para kay Aling Tanya iyon dahil sakay na si Kuya Undoy sa kalabaw. Pero may natanaw akong konting espasyo sa likod ng mga dayami, okay na okay na ako doon.
"Tamang-tama at makikisakay po sana ako hanggang sa may sakahan lang po at malapit na yun sa gate ng hacienda. Kung okay lang po." nahihiyang ngumiti ako sa kaniya. Nagkatinginan naman sila ni Kuya Undoy sandali at sabay na napatingin sa Kalesa na parang hinahanap kung saan ako maaring pupwesto.
"Ah--eh... Syempre! Ano, dito ka nalang Señorita at doon ako sa likod." tinuro niya pa ang pwestong dapat ay para sa kaniya. I immediately shook my head. I'm not that heartless to let an old woman take that place. At tsaka, nakikisakay na nga lang ako.
Dumeretso ako sa likuran at inilapag si Peppa sa may dayami at maingat na inangat ang sarili sa may likuran ng Kalesa. I heard their protest but they were too late. I look at them again and smile assuringly.
"Dito na po ako, Aling Tanya, Kuya Undoy. Okay na okay kami dito ni Peppa. Sa may sakahan lang naman din kami bababa kaya okay Lang po." I assured them. Nag alinlangan pa rin sila ng ilang saglit at baka makita daw kami ni Nana at mapagalitan. I assured them that it was okay. Buti at kalaunan ay pumayag din.
Aling Tanya sat on her place. Unti-unti ay lumarga na ang kalabaw. And harapan ko ay ang likod at tanaw ko ang unti unting palayo na Casa Llorona. It was a cream-colored Spanish-themed mansion. Kitang kita ko ang bahagyang paggalaw ng isang puting kurtina sa may ikalawang palapag. I saw my little sister, Mari Stela holding that creepy doll again peak on her window and wave at me. Nakangiwi akong kumaway pabalik sa kaniya at inangat si Peppa at kinaway din ang kaniyang paa.
"Sa gate ka na namin ihahatid, Señorita Cai. Malapit lang naman din doon ang Barn House." rinig kong sambit ni Kuya undoy. I look back at them and I nodded. May iilang bumati sa amin ng may mga nadaanan kaming mga tauhan. I greeted them back and wave at them.
Hindi nagdaan ang ilang minuto ay narating din namin ang bukana ng Hacienda. Patalon akong bumaba at pinagpagan muna ang aking pang upo at siko na may mga dayaming nadikit. Inayos ko rin ang damit at scarf sa ulo ko bago inabot si Peppa pig at kinarga.
"Maraming salamat po, Aing Tanya at Kuya Undoy!" masiglang pagpapalam ko sa kanila.
"Walang anu man, Señorita Cai. Mag-ingat po kayo." Ani pa nila ng sa wakas ay nailibot ang kalesa.
I went close to the 10 feet tall bronze gate. May malaking nakalagay na Hacienda Illustracion sa pinaka tuktok nito.
"Aalis po kayo, Señorita Cai?" Napabaling ako sa gilid sa nagtanong. Si Kuya Chito iyon na guard. Tumango ako at lumapit bahagya sa maliit na gate. Lumabas ako at doon piniling maghintay kay Amia na inutusan pa ng kaniyang Nanay sa labas.
I stood there waiting as I played with my pet. Dala-dala ko ang alaga kong isang biik sa kabilang kamay. Pinangalanan ko siyang Peppa dahil sa isang cartoon character na palaging pinapanuod ni Mari Stela noon. Peppa was a loveable, cheeky little pig and ang for some reason, my twin sister has a bad blood towards the innocent little pig character. Tuwang-tuwa ako palagi tuwing nabwe-bwesit siya sa kapapanuod ni Mari Stela kay Peppa Pig. I didn't really like Peppa Pig, and just like my twin, I find it annoying.
But little did I know, as I search for the story behind the story, I learnt how tragic it was, actually. It was about an unhealthy child who was usually ill and spends almost her short life in a hospital bed. So that night, Peppa fell asleep and she was injected with a poison thus killing her. This causes Peppa to want to be a fairy as her last dream was about fairies.
As I read it, I felt my heart was clenched into a smashed tomatoes. My heart goes to the story as well as the, Peppa pig character. The reason as to why, I named this cute little pig her name because her skin color reminds me so much of the animated character. Pink na pink sa oras na napaliguan na.
Dalawang buwan pa lang si Peppa ng panahon na iyon at naging malapit na sa akin kahit noong nasa sinapupunan pa siya ng kaniyang inang baboy. I have always a soft heart towards pigs. Hindi ko alam bakit. Lagi akong tumatambay sa Piggery ng Hacienda at tuwing may oras ay kinakausap at kinakantahan ko sila. Peppa's mother was my favorite. I always talk ang sing to her.
One time when Mari Stela saw me talking to the mother pig I called Creamy, she called me crazy and stupid. Ang walanghiyang bata, hindi naman ako baliw!
Animals are still living things. If dogs, cats and horses can be a pet, so what makes the pigs different? They can be trained and they surely can understand... somehow. My hearts goes for them the moment I lay my eyes at their innocent teary-eyed. Everytime our eyes meet as I talk and sing for them, I felt like they somehow understand me, my pure intention to them.
And one tragic morning of Mother Pig, Creamy was the day she was bound to be eaten. An hour before she was set to be killed and grilled, I was bidding my goodbye to her. I sang her a song and I felt my heart broke into pieces as we continue to stare each other's eyes and a drop of tear fell on her eyes.
It was as if she was telling me her goodbyes too. Telling me that it was okay. Sabi ni Manong Joseph, isa sa nagaalaga sa Piggery na isang malaking parangal para sa mga baboy ang maging lechon, that they have long accepted their fate to be eaten by the humans. It will be a great pride for a pig to be grilled and eaten.
Ang unfair naman kung ganun! I told him. Inakusahan ko pa nga sila na gumagawa lang sila ng ganung kwento para mapagtakpan ang kanilang karumaldumal na pagpatay sa mga baboy. Well, they only laughed so hard at my accusations.
At the end of the morning, Creamy became one with the feast. Hindi ako kumain noon. I did not even have the heart to look at it and everytime I heard someone praising how delicious the lechon was, I always wish they get choked.
Nevertheless, the least thing I can do for Creamy is to save her first and last daughter from having the same fate like her mother. Kaya nang nalaman kong isa ang kaniyang anak sa magiging premyo sa isang palaro, ay walang pagdadalawang-isip na sumali ako.
Napanalunan ko ito nang manalo ako sa Dakop Baboy nung nag Fiesta ang El Salvador at nakagawian na laging may nagaganap na mga larong pinoy at kainan para sa buong tauhan ng Hacienda Illustracion, sampong buwan na ang nakalilipas. Syempre, bawal kaming sumali dahil nakalaan lang dapat ang mga premyo sa mga tauhan. Taon-taon akong sumasali sa iba't ibang paligsahan pero lahat ng premyo na napapanalunan ko naman ay ibinibigay ko lang din sa mga tauhan.
If Mari Stela has a horse as a pet, and Zoryñe has her Persian Cat as creppy as her, then I have my little biik.
"Señorita Cai, hija!" napaangat ako ng tingin ng marinig ang tumawag sa akin. I smiled at Manang Cresa who was holding a basket at her side. Mukhang galling din siya sa labas at papasok pa Lang ng Hacienda. Agad akong lumapit dala-dala si Peppa sa gilid ko at nag mano.
"Magandang umaga po, Manang Cresa. Kumain na po kayo?" ngiting bati ko at tsaka umatras.
"Kanina pa. Nako, kay gandang bata mo talaga, Señorita! Nga't anong ginagawa mo dito sa bukana ng Hacienda? Lalabas ka ba?"
"Opo. Sasamahan ko lang po sa Amia sa palengke para bumili ng mga gagamitin sa pasukan."
"Oo nga pala at mag se-senior high na kayo sa susunod na pasukan. Ano bang kinuha mo , Señorita? Yung anak kong si Geffrey aba't mag se-senior high sa susunod na taon pa pero nag-iisip na anong gustong kuhaning kurso."
"Sa HUMSS po, Teaching Aide. Mas mabuti na rin ho yan nang mapag desisyonan niya ng maigi habang maaga pa." mahinang sagot ko. We talk for awhile but she excuse her self afterward. Hininintay na daw siya ng mga kasamahan sa Green house. Tumango naman ako at nagpaalam din.
Hindi naman nag tagal ay dumating na din ang nakaputing mahabang bistida rin na si Amia na agad nanghingi ng paumanhin sa pagtatagal. Hindi din naman ako naghintay ng matagal at mas lalong hindi nainip kaya mahinang sinapak ko nalang ang kaniyang braso at tumawa.
Not awhile later, we were walking in the middle of the rocky road. Ang magkabilang gilid nito ay alinman sa naglalakihang puno o mga maililit na kabahayan. Hindi naman kalayuan ang palengke kaya nasanay kami na nilalakad lang ito minsan. Panay ang pag-uusap namin ni Amia tungkol sa papalapit na pasukan namin, ilang lingo nalang. Grade 11 na kami at pareho kaming tatlo ni Farrah na kumuha ng HUMSS-Teaching aide sa El Salvador High School. Isa itong public school at ito lang ang malapit na eskwelahan na pwedeng pasukan ng mga taga El Salvador. If you want a private school, malayo pa iyon. Kahit ang Naawan ay walang ganun. Kaya kahit ang mga anak mayaman ay doon din pumapasok.
Our chortles were disturb by the fast thumping of the ground. I look up as soon as I heard the loud noises of the horses stump approaching fast from our opposite direction. 4 horses was coming our way. It was as if they were having a race. Rinig na rinig sa tahimik na paligid ang kanilang malakas na tawanan. And as they come nearer, they visibility became clearer to us. It was as group of men. And I know someone from that group. Josief Valiente, isa sa naging ka batchmate namin sa El Salvador Elementary School.
And for a moment there, I don't know what happened. I don't know why and how but it was as if the whole world came into slow-motion as my brown eyes darted at those deep-oceanic eyes. Our eyes locked when one of the men look at our direction and his eyes automatically caught mine. And even when the horses they were riding didn't decelerate its speed, I still felt how seconds slowed down when those eyes met mine giving me chills on my nape. An unexplainable feeling that I felt my insides tremble.
The electrifying connection only broke when they finally pass through. I gulped and my head unconciously went to the side where the horses pass by. Rinig ko pa rin ang malakas na pagtakbo ng mga kabayo at ang halakhakan ng mga kalalakihang sakay nito.
For a moment there, I look back at them. They were fast riding their horses except that particular man. Kung kanina ay nasa pinaka-unahan siya, ngayon ay unti-unti siyang nagpapa-huli. I felt my heart beating so fast as I anticipated something. Unti-unting humina ang kaniyang pagtakbo hanggang sa tuluyan niyang napatagilid ang kaniyang sakay na kabayo.
I have never felt so nervous and startled that I can feel myself having a hard time to breath when suddenly, he look back at me. Muling nagtagpo ang aming mga mata. He wasn't smiling nor frowning. He was just there, holding his horse's rope to keep it in place with a strange emotion in his eyes that I cannot recognize.
Just when I was about to be drown on those deep-oceanic eyes, a soft hand pulled me from reverie. I found Amia holding my elbow firmly as she almost drag me to walk faster. Halos mabitawan ko si Peppa sa kabilang kamay kaya agad ko itong inayos sa aking gilid.
"Cai! Don't look. Mga Valiente yan." she hissed in a low voice as if she uttered a forbiden and deadly word.
Of course I know they were the Valiente's. Eh... ano ngayon kung Valiente?
----
I got the story of Peppa from: https://www.distractify.com/p/peppa-pig-backstory
Cápitulo ĆincoThe eldestThe Valiente's are known to be the Casa de los Despiadados, where the wolves live. - - -or so they say. Kahit na nangunguna ang kanilang pamilya ay naging mailap sila sa buong bayan. Hindi din namamalagi ang mga apo ng mga Valiente sa El Salvador. Ang alam ko ay tanging ang bunsong apo lang ang tanging namalagi rito upang mag aral. At kahit na ang Don ng mga Valiente ay hindi ko kailan pa man nakita. --oh talagang hindi ko lang nakikita dahil hindi din naman ako madalas lumalabas sa Hacienda. They were the family who stood by their bravery,
Capítulo SeisKaibiganI never thought how a single interaction could eventually result something more of what I actually expected. Siguro ganun talaga? Things happen when we least expected them to. And I guess it all applies to almost everything at least, especially friendship... or at least that's how I assume what we are to be. Ang unang pagtatagpo namin na iyon ni Jaffen ay nasundan pa ng ilang beses. Sure, I have long wish for the reconciliation between the family of Valiente's and mine. A reconciliation after a decade of feud that would lead both members of the clan to at least have the decency to have a civil interaction when placed
Capítulo Sietea leap of faithFaith, I believe is a very strong and powerful word to say. As someone who was born in a Catholic family, we were taught how to complete a duration of a holy rosary including the Apostles Creed without anything to read.And after years of doing it, I realize that sometimes the things that we repeatedly do will eventually became... suffocating. Don't get me wrong, this is not just about me leading the rosary every MWF but in general. Mainly because, time will come that the usual thing that we love to do and used to look forward in doing will soon become a normal thing. The things that we used to enjoy will soon became a typical thing to do in a day.But this, one thing I am sure of, is that if you put faith wholeheartedly on the things that you are doing, a time for a joyous feeling will never fade regardless how often you
Capítulo Ocho tremble at our name "... right?" he trailed off. For a second, I stare at his eyes as he stared at mine. Umihip ang malamig na hangin at ang tunog ng pagsa-sayaw ng mga dahon sa puno ang namutawi. Before I could even utter a response, we heard a voice calling out my name in the distance. Nagmula sa malayo ang maliit na boses hanggang sa naging mas klaro iyon. Na ibig sabihin lang ay malapit na iyon kung nasaan kami ngayon.
Capítulo Nuevedancing in the rain"Happy birthday!" maligayang bati ni Farrah nang maka-pasok ako sa aming classroom. Napabaling din ang iilang classmates na naroon at nag sunod-sunod na bumati rin sa akin. I thank them all as I walk pass through where my friends are. "Pabati nalang din sa ka-kambal mo, Cai." pahabol ng ka-klase kong si Kevin matapos bumati sa akin. Nag-tawanan naman ang kaniyang mga ka-barkada at tinukso-tukso pa siyang nahihiyang napailing. I smiled at him and nodded. Zoryne is taking up nursing Aide. Nasa kabilang building pa ang classroom nila kasama ang mga pre-m
Cápitulo Diezbetween the boardersI have always believe that pain and suffering comes after every happiness, in any circumstances. Kaya naman ang maligayang pagliligo namin kahapon sa ulan ay nag-resulta sa akin na sipunin at magkaroon ng kaonting lagnat. Hindi ako nakapasok kinabukasan sa klase dahil kaninang madaling araw ako nagkalagnat.I woke up from Nana's voice, dazed and confused. Masama ang pakiramdam at giniginaw. Alalang-alala siya lalo na sina Mama at Papa. They were about to take an early flight back home when I assured them that it was only a simple fever I got from yesterday's stubbornness. Hindi nga lang kombensido si Mama kaya sinigurado niyang uuwi s
Cápitulo Once lagoon of stars "Be on your best behavior, Mari, okay? Stop being weird and act like a real Illustracion." Zoryne, the ever-so-perfectionist twin of mine reminded the poor Mari Stela. Magka katabi kaming tatlo sa likod ng sasakyan patungo sa mansyon ng mga Sy. Tonight is the night for Clarisse Sy's dinner celebration for graduating as Magna cum laude in one of the Ivy league universities in Manila. And as the old man of the Sy family was the former Governor, he invited every powerful families in Misamis Oriental . Abuela doesn't rally mind ditching such invitations but as a respect to her former batch m
Cápitulo Docelies and disappointmentsMahirap man at nakaka-kabang aminin, alam ko at nararamdaman ko ang hindi ko mabigyan na nararamdaman ko para sa Valiente na iyon.I knew even when I have no one to compare, that I was falling for the oldestValiente-- or I think it is much safer to name it as Infatuation. Now, is love just the same with Infatuation? The Merriam-Webster dictionary definitions of love and infatuation are pretty distinct: love is "a warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion to anothe
Capitulo Veinti y Trésback to where I leftMy life wasn't as abundant as the life I have back at El Salvador. Noong mga panahon na namumuhay ako bilang isa sa mga prinsesa ng Hacienda Illustracion.I have never foreseen this kind of life, honestly. Oo, nangarap ako ng kalayaan pero hindi sa ganitong paraan.But then life is full of surprises. Unexpected circumstances. I got out from the leash of our family's name but at the expense of losing them and the comfort of the privilege as part of the family.Hence, it might have been a tough past years but, it was the life of simplicity and solemnity in Sariaya with Primrose that I was willing to do it over again.I graduated just this year as a Cum Laude in Xavier University's College of Business Administration. Isang semester lang ako sa State College na una akong pinapasok ni Nanay Joyce dahil nakapasok din ako sa City scholarship program na sa Xavier University ang nakalagay na eskwelahan dahil na rin sa tulong at koneksyon nina Bishop a
Cápitulo Vienti y DosMiracleDo you ever believe in miracle?I wasn't really a strong believer with it unlike my faith to fate.Naniniwala ako noon na ang lahat ng bagay ay nangyayare dahil ito ay tinadhana. Na kahit binibigyan man tayo ng mga choices sa buhay, choosing that certain option was already written on the stars.At sa mga lumipas na buwan, despite my fear to the shadows of my darkness, I keep on telling myself that everything happened to me because it was my destiny. Na siguro, maagang kinuha ang batang nasa sinupupunan ko bago pa man mailuwal dahil alam ng diyos na hindi pa para sa akin at sa sitwasyon ko. In those past months silently crying the pain and fighting those voices inside my head, I held on to the thought that maybe I didn't deserve to have my baby right now, hindi lang dahil bata pa ako, o dahil hindi ko din naman siya mabigyan ng kompletong pamilya, I'm pretty sure that whatever I am going through right now, yun ang sasalubong sa kaniya.Ang my lost angel
Cápitulo Vienti y Unobeyond the boarderAabot hanggang sa mag da-dalawang oras ang byahe namin sakay ang barge. As soon as we reach the port, agad kaming sumakay sa isang maliit na private bus na may aircon.Masyadong matagal ang naging byahe namin roon na umabot hanggang walong oras. I sat beside the closed window and during those 8 hours of bus ride, I wasn't able to sleep even a glimpse despite the exhaustion I felt.May mga pagkakataon na sa aking pagkakatulala ay nararamdaman ko nalang ang mainit na likidong tumutulo sa gilid ng aking mata. Tahimik na umiiyak na pala habang tanaw ang mga hindi pamilyar na tanawin na dinadaanan.Minsan naman, ay tahimik na inaabutan lang ako ni Jay ng tubig o di kaya ay pagkain na binili niya kanina sa mga vendor ng bus terminal bago kami sumakay ng bus. I always stare at it longer in my hands before taking a bite. And I appreciate Jay so much for also staying quite.Although, sometimes, I feel him looking at me from time to time. Worried probabl
Cápitulo Vientea light of hopeHope... is something that everyone wants to grasp. In times of need and especially in times of trouble.And most of the time we tend to rely ourselves even to a single grasp of light, praying and begging for it to be our glimpse to hope.Praying for it... to be our salvation.Before we seek for salvation, we first feel that unbearable feeling. Pain.Pain may equate to an extreme emotion. And sometimes, pain fuels the heart to the extent of hatred. And hatred is an excruciating kind of emotion. A strong one that can either drown you or eat your soul, slowly and painfully. To the point when you begin to hate yourself too.And self-hatred is one terrifying thing to feel. Because it will always, always result to self-destruction. So the question is, how do you save yourself from your own self-destruction? Or is there even a way out?And if there is, can I really bare the consequences? Because I know. In this game, we lose to gain. In order to achieve a
Cápitulo Dieci-nuevea betrayed heartChange can really be constant. Even heart and fate are a victim of its change. It's actually cruel, to want something now, only to have a change of heart tomorrow. To say you are in love to that person, only to wake up with an empty heart for the same person. It was never really a promise, stability and consistency is never really a promise. No matter how much we want it. Regardless how much we crave for it. And sometimes, change can really be scary."Abuela is on her way here. The head administrator of this hospital is a friend of hers. They've already informed her what happened before I can even take an action." I heard Zoryne tell Nana that in a tiny voice. "Alam na rin ba niya na..." hindi magawang ituloy ni Nana ang gudtongitanong. She doesn't really need to say it out loud, probably scared that I might actually hear it. Alam ko na naman kasi ang gustong niyang sabihin eh. It took them another set of minutes of silence that I thought I was
Cápitulo Dieci-Ochopromises and heartbreaksI can barely feel my body when I tried to open my eyes. I felt so exhausted from my endless tears that it took me a lot of strength to lift my gaze.Akala ko wala na akong lakas pang tumayo o kahit iangat ang ulo sa pagkakasandal nito sa gilid ng kama. Ngunit nang makita ang pigura ni Nana na saiyang may dala-dalang tray ng pagkain ay parang nabuhayan muli ako ng pag-asa. "N-Nana" humihikbing tawag ko sa kaniya. The lights coming from the outside was directed at me. Ni walang bakas ng ilaw sa kwarto ko, ni wala akong lakas na buksan iyon. Mabilis na iniwan ni Nana ang dala sa lamesa at nilapitan akong hinang-hina sa gilid ng kama. "Caenaella naman, kumain ka na. Huwag na matigas ang ulo, please." maiyak - iyak na pakiusap niya. Malamyos na pinapahiran ang bawat luha ko sa pisngi. I cried again at what she said. Mahigpit niya akong dinala sa kaniyang dibdib at niyakap. I embraced her back as hard as I can, feeling the warmth of comfort.
Cápitulo Dieci-sietea total disasterTime and Fate can either be a friend or an enemy because both are inevitable and uncontrollable.Sometimes, because of this, people tend to rely their future with luck. And I can say that for the past months, I got nothing but all good lucks. Oo, nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na muntikan na kaming mabisto, but it was just an almost. Almost got caught, almost got my luck from fainting. But I guess, this time, I have used up all my luck. "CAENAELLA" napawi agad ang aking ngiti nang marinig ang nababahalang tono ni Nana. Kakapasok ko lang sa Casa Llorona galing eskwela nang marinig ang mabilisan niyang apak galing sa ikalawang palapag.She was sweating all over her face and breathing heavily. Parang kinabahan naman ako sa itsura niya nang malapitan ako. Nang makalapit ay agad akong hinawakan sa magkabilang balikat at halos iyugyog ang katawan."Diyos ko kang bata ka""B-bakit po, Nana?" tanong ko na nakakunot-noo. Nana gulp and her eyes was looking
Cápitulo Dieci-seisdevoted but doomedThankfully, several days have pass that I haven't come across the same path with my twin sister. We were living in the same roof but I guess she was too busy and preoccupied with her school works and hanging out with her friends. Kabila-kabila ang lakad niya ngayon lalo na at parehong nasa Palawan sina Mama at Papa at sa nalalapit na pag uwi ni Abuela at Abuelo sa susunod na buwan.Magkaiba rin ang aming silid pero hindi ko alam kung bakit, tuwing napapatingin ako sa nakasarado niyang pintuan sa kwarto ay tila kakaibang kaba sa bawat kalabog ng puso ko ang nadadama. Naaalala ang kakaibang ngiti ni Xerxes sa pagtatagpong yun sa Don Narciso Cafe."Sol"Naramdaman ko ang pagpulupot ng kaniyang dalawang braso sa bewang ko. Caging me from behind as we both stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass window watching the peacefulness and calmness of the ocean with the long see-through curtains flowing on each side. Nasa loob kami ng isa sa mga Villa ng
Cápitulo Quincedreams and my Solace "Jaffen..." I couldn't help but whimper as I felt his hot kisses brushing through my skin. His soft but agressive kisses went down from my cheeks slowly went to my neck making me arc my head to the side to give him more access. The nerve-melting kisses stop on my collarbone. Those calloused hands are now roaming around my upper body. Ang isang kamay ay agad dumapo sa aking dibdib na dahilan ng aking pagdaing. He stop for a second and I felt him smile on my skin because of that whimper. We didn't vocally said our labels, or what we are now.And I believe it's just right for me to assume that he is already my boyfriend, right? We already said those three words to each other and even showed our love physically. Siguro naman, naging karapatan ko na iyon na sabihing kami na. Total naman ay nanligaw siya at sagot ko lang naman talaga ang kinakailangan.So... eventually, it all boils down to my decision, right? And I think, Jaffen already knows my a