Blue Eyes Alpha (English)

Grisella POV

________

When I was a teenager, my mind was filled with beautiful dreams. The dreams that I enthusiastically want to achieve. The one thing that I was most afraid of in those days was death. My youthful spirit may have faded now. I am not young, Grisella anymore. Grisella Winston, my name sounds simple. I am 24 this year. The more I grow up, the more thirsty for my world.

At first, I was a novelist who produced extraordinary works. I have fans everywhere, I make a lot of money, and it allows me to buy whatever I want. This time if I remember, it still feels beautiful

Until I met this point, my only desire right now is 'suicide'. I have a perfect father and mother. They always support me. But I was already embarrassed to meet them. Why? Can you imagine how a child who is famous for her work suddenly comes home to meet her parents and says that now everyone blasphemes their child with the word 'the freak writer'?

What happened to me?....

Like most famous people, I have fans but also haters. Night club music makes me drift off, sip a glass of expensive wine, and enjoy life's freedom. It's something I can't express with just words, and it feels right for me. I thought that by going with Delon, I felt safe because he would protect me, but he didn't.

Delon is my lover, a singer who is also on the rise because he is close to me. Moreover, I am a famous writer who is his lover. The two of us spent a Saturday night at a fancy nightclub. The rhythm of the music makes me dance elegantly in the middle of the crowd. Everything just happened. I felt a blunt object hit my head in the back, then quickly everything went dark. What I felt next was darkness. I was in an empty room with no doors or windows.

You can guess where I was when I realized, right?

Well, when my eyes opened, The first thing I saw was the hospital ceiling. My mother screamed hysterically, calling the doctor when I was out of my coma for two weeks. They tell me everything. The guy who hit me has been caught. He has mental disorders and is also addicted to drugs. I also chose not to complicate matters.

As I recovered, my body looked normal. I thought I was okay because I was physically okay. Right on Saturday night, when I want to have sex with Delon. I feel something is wrong with my body. When my skin touched Delon's, my skin felt hot. At first, I ignored it, but the more intense I was in contact with Delon, the more my skin felt hot and itchy. I screamed in pain that was very stinging on my skin. My body flushed, and I was helpless when the doctor explained my illness. An illness that arose from trauma as a result of being hit on my head.

Hahahahaha, life is kidding me.

With just a snap of a finger, everything I have is destroyed. Now I am standing in front of my kitchen door. More precisely, I looked blankly at the rope hanging itself in front of me. I made it myself. My mind remembers that bitter thing,

When I got dumped by Delon at that time

"I can not. I don't want to survive anymore, "Delon snapped at me when I met him at his house.

"Why? What is wrong with me? You said you love me, sincerely."

"Yeah, but that's in the past. I don't even remember that time."

"What? Tell me, honestly. You want me to defame your reputation?"

"Oh my God, I beg of you, Grisella. Just forget everything, okay. I have to do this. You, you are nothing now. we can't even have sex anymore."

"You know what's going on with my body, that's why I can't touch anyone. I think you accept me as I am."

"Yeah, but I'm a man with lust. Who survives, with a woman who can't even make love to him. Awake yourself"

"Okay. Thanks for everything," I snapped and walked away. Delon didn't even come after me.

Or when my script is no longer appreciated.

"Please, this is my newest manuscript Chris" I begged the editor in chief.

"Not. Are you in your right mind? You're making up stories that don't make sense. What's all this? the girl and a rare disease? What's this title? Do you want to make children's fairy tales? "Chris snapped at me.

"Try reading it first, this is purely from my imagination," I said again.

"Get out of my room. I won't accept any more manuscripts from you." Then he ordered his subordinates to drag me away. I readily refused. I was too afraid of being touched. To be precise, I can't feel anyone anymore.

The only way now is this rope. I better hang myself up. Without fear, I stuck my head into the eyelets. Taking the last possible breath, then pushing the chair that I was standing on earlier away. My neck is already in the grip of the rope. To be honest, I feel my breath getting tight, very tight. No matter how my body struggles, I still feel close.

"Oh my god, madam, madam?" shouted a woman suddenly. She cried while holding my body. While me? Everything was dark again. I returned to meet the space.

*****

"Are you aware, dear?" my mom asked kindly. I gathered some more strength then got up to change my position to sit. I swept the surroundings with my eyes. The scent of medicine was like perfume in this room. My right hand has been infused. My father fell asleep on the sofa. My mom is now sitting beside me, looking at me with a smile.

"Hahh," I complained

"Why? Are you upset that you're still alive?" quipped my mom. She adjusted my pillow so that I could lean back more comfortably

"I don't know," I answered softly

"Honey, this is the second time you are like this. First, those sleeping pills, then now you're trying to hang yourself. But look, God still saves you, "said my mom

"I'm sorry," I said wistfully

"You still remember, you used to cry every time you saw your pet die. You run to me and say, mom, I don't want to die, mom, I'm scared to death. But now you're even chasing end, "quipped my mom. The corners of his eyes were wet. I'm sure she's been crying a lot.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Honey, nothing should make you fall. Live as if you are alive. You've enjoyed everything before, and maybe it's time you wanted everything by yourself. Can you promise me to stop this all? "

"About what?"

"Stop trying to kill yourself. Your life still loves your body," said my mom firmly. I looked out the window. My heart cannot promise to fulfill my mother's request. Because now I really can't face life anymore. I want to sleep forever.

"Grisella? What if you rested in a place that was cool, peaceful, and beautiful ?. You remember Aunt Angela. She gave me her little townhouse. You can be there for a while. And I hope you are calmer there, "suggested my mom

I neither nodded nor shook my head. What I know after recovering, my family took me out of the city. Away from the city that had made my name famous, towards the small town known as the city of rain.

*******

When the car that my father brought began to enter the small town area, I began to feel an icy breeze. The hills are decorated with trees that thrive and are green in color. I sat on the backbench, leaning on my head. My eyes glistened at the view from the car window

"This place looks beautiful, doesn't it?" my mom asked. I just muttered in answer

"Why didn't Angela just sell the house?" asked my dad to my mom

"I have no idea. I only received messages before she died. She sent me all the letters about the house. And now, the house is mine."

"She's your best friend," continued my dad again.

"Yeah, even when she's not in the world, she still makes me feel relieved and comfortable like this"

"Oughhh honey," my dad rubbed the back of my mom's palm.

"Trust me, you'll be better here Grisella, "said my mom again

"I hope," I replied

"Hey, you could find something new for your writing," my father joined the conversation.

"I do not know. I haven't thought about anything yet."

"Take it easy; everything will be back to normal. You just need to make peace with time," said my dad again

"Thank you, dad" I closed my eyes. I hope my parents stop talking to me. I'm just not excited to discuss anything. I know when your parents say that every problem will be resolved, or you will be fine. The sentence was made just to calm you down for a moment.

It is still yourself who goes through everything. Delon's face flashed through my mind. I even can't forget that cruel man. love me only because of the wealth I have, then dump me just because I am useless.

"Okay, we arrived," said my mom. The car stopped right at a classic house. A house with a reasonably large size, maybe not. The house still looks good. It looks like someone took care of it. The flowers that grew in the pots looked fresh. And although some parts of the house are made of wood, they still look solid with white paint that still looks new.

"Where is she?" my mom asked when my father finished unloading the goods. At the same time, I was sitting on the bench on the porch of the house.

"Who?" replied my father

"Margaret, she looks after this house. you see, everything looks good."

"Yeah, she takes care of it well," replied my father again.

"Is that she?" I said when from a distance seeing a woman, she walked toward us. From her face, it looks like her age is the same as my mother.

"Oh, Margaret," said my mom and hugged her

"Long time no see," replied Margaret

"Honey, and Grisella, meet Margaret. She's Angela's cousin," my mom introduced the woman. I just nod and smile. I can not only make small talk to hug or touch her. My disease can recur.

"Okay, let me help put all this in," said Margaret and brought all the things inside

I followed the others into the house, again I was dumbfounded. I can say all the decorations as classic as possible, or old-fashioned. The most exciting thing for me, some wolf paintings are plastered on the walls of the house. It is a painting, not a photo on display.

My eyes were busy looking at the room's state until I met the door that led to the backyard. The door was made of glass. I opened it to see more clearly what was behind it. Beauty in all true green. Very expansive backyard. The ground on the lawn was covered with grass, which felt smooth. Trust me. There is no fence here, only the border of the yard with dense pine forest. Yes, I can see the woods in front of me.

Various trees grow there, but the dominant one is the pine tree. Strangely, even though the weather can be said is clear, the forest is like being covered in fog. It looks peaceful but also suffocating. Almost no sunlight was able to shine through the trees.

"You like that?" blurted someone. I was stunned unconscious from my reverie.

"What?" I answered. Staring at a woman who smiled sweetly at me

"Hi? I'm Maria," she said, holding out my hand.

"Hi, I'm sorry, I can not touch you," I replied reluctantly.

"Oh, okay, no problem. You're the girl who just moved house? "

"Hmm yeah. How can you? "

"Ohhh, Margaret is my mom."

"Ohhh, okay."

"You like that?" Maria pointed towards the forest

"Yeah, looks different."

"I hope you won't be bothered by those who are there tonight."

"Who are they?"

"It's a full moon, they will be very noisy," Maria continued explaining to me.

"who?" I asked again."

"Nothing, you just need to be a patient woman."

"Heyy there, come in. I brought delicious food," shouted Margaret

"Okay," Maria replied. She motioned for me to follow her back into the house. Even though my eyes are still looking towards the forest. there's something I can feel. But somehow, I can just conclude that whatever is in there is not dangerous for me. It makes me even more curious about what lies behind the fog and dense trees.

Do you believe in werewolves? I think I saw one of them.