Beneath Your Fur

Have you ever felt empty in your life? Ever felt no one understands you? That no one seems to care how you feel? Have you ever felt that your heart feels empty and your head is a mess? Have you ever experience the feeling of total sadness and  you're unable to enjoy things?

My name is Alora. I belong to what they call the elites. I was born rich. I was the youngest daughter  to one of the richest family in the country. I have 2 brothers and a sister. They were all successful people and owned various businesess worldwide.

My oldest brother is the CEO of the largest gaming company in Japan as well as the owner and President of the no.1 car company in Europe. My second brother owns the biggest pharmaceutical company in the US that manufactures and distributes medical supplies all over the world. He also owned Smith's Meds, a drugstore chain in the country.

My sister owns the largest shopping mall in the country located at Northbay City Mall and one of the biggest shareholder of 10 most popular perfume brands in the world. My parents? Well, our family's main business is jewelry. We own the no.1 jewelry company in Japan named Hoseki. The company also has its offices and stores in the US and Europe. Our parents recently launched Hoseki Corporation, the largest Jewelry manufacturing company in UAE.

And there was me. The deliquent child. The black sheep of the family. I was born with everything that anyone can dream of. But I was never happy. I was considered the problem child. I am studying at Golden Oak School for the Elite. The school for the rich and famous where money is the basis of someone's personality.

The students are divided into four classes, the Platinum Class - they are the richest heirs and heiress and the royalties in the world. The Golden Class are those living in the limelight, the celebrities and models. The Silver Class where student's parents are professional workers of those above them. And then there's the Bronze Class who were accepted by scholarships and sponsorships of the elites.

My brothers and sister graduated from this school with honors. And so everyone's expecting the same from me. I am what they call a math genius. I am smart and always a top student in primary school. I was accelerated twice so I am now 2 years younger from my classmates. I was a happy kid with full spirit and I always think of the positive side in everything. But eveything changed.

When I started high school, I was given the name Ice Princess because everyone said that I emit a cold aura. I was also popular in rejecting boys that confessed to me. They said I'm heartless and didn't care about others feelings. And that I am not capable to love someone so I also do not deserve to be loved.

I don't really care what they call me or what they think of me. For me, they are just temporary people whom I meet in this life and we'll all eventually go on our separate ways. Friends? I don't have friends. I don't need them. I still hang out with some girls but for me, they're just schoolmates.

I don't know when it started. When did I change. I remember being cheerful when I was younger but an accident made me forget some of my memories so I guess I also forgot how to smile.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am not really capable of love. I know I love my parents and my siblings. I just can't show them my affection like how they show me.

My brothers are very protective of my sister and me. They were also very generous towards me. They buy me everything I want. Sometimes, even if I don't want or need it, they will still give me expensive things. My eldest brother is 33 years old and already married for 6 years but he never failed to buy me gifts. He also got a pair of adorable twins, Mia and Mio. He married at the age of 27. My second brother is 31 and was married for 3 years. His wife is now 6 months pregnant. My sister is married for a year now and still enjoying her time with her husband. I think they don't have any plans yet of having a kid.

Me? I don't have any plans on getting married. I am not interested to any boys in school. I can't imagine myself happily married to a guy. I don't even know what I like with a guy.

This emptiness I feel inside, I don't think anyone, even me, can make it go away. Am I really that numb? Sometimes, I ask myself is there someone out there who can save me?

Darkness. I feel like it is always following me and will devour me anytime. The feeling of emptiness, fear, doubt and despair will I be able to overcome this?