Simula

It was already June but it felt like it was still summer when I arrived at Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 3. My flight was delayed for three hours because of the turbulence in Taipei. I slowly pushed my cart out of the terminal even though it was a bit heavy. I grabbed my phone and texted Daphne, one of my cousins. All of my cousins are studying in Dumaguete, only Daphne is studying here in Manila.

Malapad ang aking ngiting lumabas ng terminal dahil matapos ang apat na taon ay sa wakas mananatili na rin ako dito sa Pilipinas kasama ng aking pamilya. Habang tinutulak ko ang cart ko ay hindi ko napansin na marami palang tao ang naghihintay ng taxi sa labas ng airport dahilan kung bakit nagkaroon ako ng unting kaba. Sa apat na taon ko nawala sa Pilipinas ay hindi ko alam kung ano sasabihin. Nananalangin na lang ako na hindi alam ni Kuya Zaxton dahil baka sabihin niya sa aking nakakatandang kapatid.

I was waiting outside along with my cart full of luggage when I felt a ball touch my boots. I look down and pick up the ball from the ground. Suddenly, a small boy who was around five years old stared at the ball I was holding before looking at me. His eyes were almond shaped and his hair was a little bit brown. He was wearing a small suit which I think made him uncomfortable because he was still young for that kind of fashion.

"Your pretty," napangiwi akong binigay sa kanya ang bola.

"Thank you, pretty lady. Can you be my uncle's wife?" nalaglag ang aking panga sa kanyang sinabi.

How can a boy from this young age know about marriage?

"Callum Jude!" baritono ng boses ang aking narinig mula sa aking kaliwa. Tumingin ang bata sa pagtawag sa kanya kaya naman ay sinundan ko ng tingin. Umawang ang aking bibig ng makita ang isang lalaking matikas na nasa aking harapan.

He was wearing shades and a black face mask so I didn't see his face. But the way that his body was firmly shaped by the black turtleneck and the black slacks that he was wearing. It felt like he was walking slowly towards us. His aura is so appealing and stops in front of us. I shook my head and looked away. Good thing I was also wearing shades so that he wouldn't know my face of embarrassment.

"What did I tell you about running away? Your dad is going to kill me if I lose sight of you the moment he arrives."pagsuway niya sa bata kaya naman yumuko ito. 

"Let's go, your parents will be arriving any minute." kinandong niya ang bata at hinawakan ang bola sa isang kamay. 

Nagtama ang tingin naming dalawa ngunit tumalikod lamang ito at hindi man lang ako pinasalamatan. Naiwan ako doon nakatayo na parang nabastosan sa kanyang ginawa. Masama ko tinitigan ang kanyang likuran habang naglakad sila papalayo. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang lalaki ng iyon. Sa susunod na makita ko siya ay baka ipadala ko siya sa Mars dahil sa inis ko.

What on earth is happening in the Philippines?

Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas ay dumating na ang sasakyan ni Daphne. Padabog ko nilagay ang aking mga gamit sa kanyang sasakyan at sumakay. Kwenento ko agad sa kanya ang nangyari.

"Seriously? Wala man lang 'thank you' ang sinabi niya sayo?" nagulat na tanong sa akin ni Daphne habang nagmamaneho ng kotse. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng makitang siya lang mag-isa ang sumundo sa akin. Kaya naman sa daan namin papuntang bahay namin sa Makati ay nagdaldalan na lang kaming dalawa.

"Oo, yung pamangkin niya lang ata mabait. Sana maging kamukha niya si the grinch sa pagka suplado niya," nagmamaktol ko sa kanya.

"Naku, ewan ko lang kung makakaganyan ka pa pag nag-aral ka dito sa Pilipinas," natatawa ang sabi niya sa akin.

"Baka kainin mo lang sinasabi mo." Pang-aasar niya pa sa akin. Umiling-iling na lamang ako at ang pagtugtog ng musika sa radio ng sasakyan niya.

Naalala ko pa nung mga bata pa kami lagi kaming naiinis pag nagiging suplado sa amin ang mga lalaki sa aming mga pinsan pero alam ko na magkaiba ang ugali. Sa tagal ko na panahon na hindi nag bisita ng Pilipinas gusto kung puntahan ang mga lugar kung saan kami pupunta na mga pinsan. Kamusta na kaya sila kuya.

It's been a month since I haven't heard anything from them. Not even from my parents which is strange. Because the last time I checked, we were all okay. I did not message them about my plans to go home this month because I didn't want them to worry. Both of my brothers have always been busy ever since I was highschool. Even though they visit me every year it will never be the same. I was the one to come home and stay here in the Philippines. I wonder what they would do if I wanted to continue my studies here in the Philippines.

Mabilis na nakarating ang kotse ni Daphne sa tapat ng gate ng bahay namin sa Makati. Pareho kaming lumabas ng kotse. Pinagmasdan ko iyon at laking gulat ng makitang wala pa rin pinagkaiba sa dating itsura ng aming bahay. Kulay asul pa rin ang kulay ng pintura at makikita pa rin ang bahay ng mga aso sa labas. Nakita agad ako ni Manong Harden kaya naman ay binuksan niya ang gate para sa akin.

"Ikaw po pala yan maam Amanda. Matagal po namin kayong hindi nakita," nakangiting sabi ni Manong Harden.

"Nagagalak po akong makita kang muli, manong." masayang bati ko sa kaya at siya ay niyakap.

"Nasa loob na po ba sila mama at sila kuya?" tanong ko sa kanya at tumango. Tumingin ako kay Daphne upang yayain siyang pumasok

"Lex, I think mauna ka na pumasok sa loob," napatingin ako kay Daphne na parang nakakapagtaka dahil hindi ko alam kung anong dahilan niya at bakit parang ayaw niya pumasok sa loob.

"Tawagan mo na lang ako paglalabas na kuya mo para kunin mga gamit mo." Nakangiting sabi niya sa akin. Tumango ako at pumasok sa gate namin.

Humingi ako ng malalim bago naglalakad patungo sa pintuan namin. Kumatok ako ngunit nagtaka ako ng parang walang suamsagot. Pinihit ko ang doorknob ng aming bahay dahil ayaw ko gumawa ng ingay na malaman nila mama na nandito ako. Tuluyan ko iyong binuksan at dahan-dahan akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Ilang hakbang pa lamang ang aking ginagawa ng may marinig akong pagkabasag sa kusina na aking ikinabigla.

"What is the meaning of this, Dad?"

Umalingawngaw ang boses ng aking pangalawang nakakatandang kapatid na lubos kung ikinagulat.

This was the first time I heard him raising his voice towards my dad. Ever since we were kids my brothers looked up to my dad because of his loyalty and commitment to our family which shaped them into the man they have become today. Fear crept into my veins as I heard my brother screaming at my dad. What happened while I was away?

"Totoo ba ang mga yan? Niloloko mo ba kami?" Galit na galit na boses ang aking narinig mula sa aking nakakatandang kapatid.

"Look, Zy let me explain it was a mistake-" I heard a loud punch that made me run towards the kitchen. My eyes widened to see my brother punch my dad with his muscular hand. I was confused and shaking at the same time. Kuya Leon looked at me with wide eyes like he was shocked to see me inside.

"Lex, when did you get here?" Nagmamadali akong lapitan ni Kuya Leon. Gulat din na napatingin si Kuya Levi sa akin bago sila nagkatitigan ni Kuya Leon.

I looked at the pictures scattered on the floor. My body started to shake and my eyes began to shed tears. I told myself that what I was seeing was not real, that it was all just photoshopped because many wanted to destroy my family. I tried to convince myself that it was all an act. But as I stared slowly into each photo it was real. My dad was cheating on my mom with another woman and sadly it was a friend of my mom.

"Take her, out kuya. She can't see this." Nagpipigil na sabi ni Kuya Levi kay Kuya Leon. Tumingin ako sa aking ama.

"Totoo ba to, Pa? Totoo ba tong mga larawan na nakikita ko?" mahinahon na tanong ko sa aking ama. Balisa siyang tumitig sa akin na parang ayaw niyang sagutin.

"Anak, hindi ko sinasadya-" tuluyan na akong humagulhol dahil sa kanyang sagot.

"I wanted to surprise you, that's why I am here. But I was the one surprised that my dad cheated on my mom. You're a cheater!" nanggagalaiti ang sabi ko sa aking ama. Kinamumuhian ko ang aking ama dahil akala ko buo kaming pamilya pagbalik ko.

"Lex, please forgive me." nakaluhod ang aking ama sa aking harapan na parang nagmamakaawa. Hindi ko mapigilan ang aking kamay na sampalin ang aking ama.

"You deserve that punch and you don't deserve to be called my Father. You are disgusting!" malamig na sabi ko at nangingilid ang mga luhang naglakad papalabas ng kusina at palabas ng pintuan ng bahay namin. Alam kong sumunod si Kuya Leon sa akin kaya naman ay hinarap ko siya at galit na tumitig sa kanya.

"Kailan mo pa alam kuya?" seryosong tanong ko sa kanya na mukhang nagulat siya sa aking tanong.

"Kailan mo pa alam na niloloko ni papa si mama?" nangingilid ang aking luha habang napapaiyak sa harapan ni Kuya Leon. Humingi siya ng malalim bago magsalita. My brother really knows me.

"Two months ago, mom filed a divorce and I saw that paper on the dining table once I got home after vacation." mabilis ko siyang sinampal dahilan para ma patagilid ang kanyang mukha. Naramdaman ko rin ang lakas ng aking pagkakasampal sa kanya dahil sa marka ng aking kamay sa kayang kaliwang mukha.

At that moment, I felt betrayed by my own family. I was the only one who did not know what was happening to my family while I was away finishing highschool in one of the places my grandmother told me to go. I felt like everything I dreamed for my family was shattered into pieces after hearing that from my brother.

"And you did not even tell me?" sarkastiko tanong ko kay Kuya Leon. He tried to grab me but I moved his hand away.

"Don't look for me kuya, I'm warning you." Malamig na sabi ko at pinunasan ang aking mga luha bago tumalikod sa aking kapatid.

I was walking out of our house when the rain started to pour. I felt so numbed and all my emotions were confused. My whole life I never felt lost after discovering everything that happened. The family I was caring so much for was now like shattered pieces of hearts covered with scars that cannot be easily mended. I want to breathe and be away from this place for a moment so that my heart can heal from the pain that is taking my breath away. Life is full of surprises, sometimes it gives you joy and sometimes it gives you pain that is like a scar that leaves a mark in your whole life.