Unang Kabanata - Ang Pagbabalik

Hatak hatak ko ang aking maleta habang nakangiting palabas ng departure area. Nang makarating ako sa entrance ng airport ay napa-inat na lamang ako ng kamay ko pataas. I was smiling while looking around. It’s been a while, was it almost five years and a half since I left? I was expecting not to come back here anymore since the day I decided to move away but I did not expect to be home again.

I felt complicated. If it weren’t for my cousin’s wedding, I won’t be here today. Also, since the work that my cousin offered was a little busier than I expected, I ended up going back here and work here.

I am expecting to see them, especially my circle. I was excited. Alam ko na masaya akong makita silang muli. Except for one person. I’m quite worried about it, hindi ko alam kung ano magiging reaksyon ko if ever I saw him again.

I shrugged my thought off and took out my phone. I turned it off when I board on the plane so when I turn it on again, the messages from work and friends at NY bombard my phone. It was normal for me to receive messages from work but from my friends, it’s quite rare.

‘Yung mga naging kaibigan ko kasi sa NY ay hindi gaya ng mga kaibigan ko rito. They did not know what happened to me here, so, it was normal for them to feel excited since they haven’t been home for years as well.

I worked at my cousin’s soon-to-be husband’s company. When I heard his name to be my cousin’s fated mate, I was bewildered. Who would have thought that he would find his mate? Let alone a fated one. It was quite rare for us, omega to find our fated one.

I was quite grateful that he wasn’t like those bastards alpha, he was quite responsible and committed. They’re the one who helped me before when I needed to find a place that don’t discriminate those who had a broken bond, they’re the first one who offered and extended their hands to me that’s why, I was grateful to them. I wish them both best wishes and happiness in their whole life together.

Right, I have to report to the office.

I was about to go when someone called my name. I turned around and saw a familiar face.

“I thought my eyes were playing with me but it’s really you, Aoi!”

He seems excited to see me. “Hiro.” I smiled at him, calling his name as well.

“Where have you been? Wait, did you just got off the plane?” he asked, confused.

I nodded my head. “Yeah, I came back for my work,” I answered.

I saw his eyes confused; however, I don’t have any intention of telling him about the things that happened before because after all, he wasn’t my friend. He was his friend.

“Work?”

I smiled and pretended to look at my wrist watch. There’s still have time to chat with him but I don’t have any intention to do so because I know that he’ll going to tell this to his friend.

“Hiro, I wanted to chat with you but I really have to go. My schedule won’t allow me to be here for even a moment.” I smiled at him awkwardly.

He looked surprise because he knows that I wasn’t that kind of person who will avoid other people and doing this kind of excuse makes him feel that he kind off know what I wanted to say.

He nodded his head. “I’m sorry for keeping you up here. Let’s have a chat with others like before.”

I bid goodbye after telling him that I’ll try.

Like before.

No, there’s no such things. They know that we already broke up, they know what happened to me and to their friend, they know everything but they refuses to tell me what’s happening. I quite hold a little resentment to them even now. I begged them before to tell my why but they all just shrugged their shoulder and told me that they don’t know.

However, seeing the information that I gathered it was all a lie. That’s why, I don’t want to associate myself to them anymore.

Tumawag ako ng taxi. I could feel Hiro’s gaze on me but I did not act like I was bothered by it. Hinayaan ko lang s’yang titigan ako, hinayaan ko lang s’yang obserbahan ako. I want him and the others think that I am okay, that there’s nothing wrong with me and I am holding my life like before I was bonded.

Tinulungan ako ng taxi driver na ilagay ang dalawang maleta ko sa trunk ng taxi niya. After that, I entered the taxi and wave my hand towards Hiro, smiling. For these past years, I learned how to fake my smile like it was a genuine one. Only few knew and been able to recognize it.

“Manong, here’s my apartment address.”

Kinuha naman ng taxi driver ang papel na binigay ko sa kaniya at saka niya ito hinanap sa system na naka-install sa taxi n’ya. I wasn’t that surprise to see it here since in NY it was normal to have that kind of taxi system.

Kung hindi lang siguro kami naipit sa traffic jam baka forty-five minutes na byahe nasa apartment na ako. I was kind of annoyed but I keep it to myself dahil alam ko naman na sa pagod lang kaya ganito ako. Also, it wasn’t the taxi driver’s fault na magkaroon ng traffic sa daan.

When we arrived, I give the driver a tip. He opened his playlist when we’re in the middle of the traffic jam just to lessen my irritation. It’s quite useful though, I did not think of anything. Akala ko kasi dahil doon ay babalik na naman ang kung anu-anong masasamang elemento ng alaala sa utak ko.

I took the key that Kenji gave me. Sila kasi ang nag-asikaso ng mga bagay na kakailanganin ko sa pag-stay ko rito. It was one of my condition. Kenji and Ryosuke, they’re only two out of few people I trusted right now. Sa ngayon, silang dalawa pa lang ang nakakaalam na nandito ako kung hindi ako nakita ni Hiro kanina.

My face twisted when I felt something on my nape. “Ah, this damn bond mark,” I whispered to myself.

I took a deep breath and ignore the pain I felt in my name.

Kaagad na lang akong pumasok sa apartment room ko at saka ko inilapag ang dalawa kong maleta ko. Inilibot ko ang aking paningin at napatango. They did a great job doing what I told them. My apartment is way more spacious than my previous one. I told Kenji and Ryosuke that I wanted an apartment that is spacious but enough for one person to live in. I wanted to rent it but Ryosuke bought it already. Ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko kung nabili na nila, ‘di ba? I was talking to them via video call when they’re asking my opinion about this place and since it wasn’t small and enough for me to live in I agreed with them. I remembered telling them to rent it but I was informed late that they bought it.

Crazy people.

Crazy couple.

Pagpasok ko pa lang sa pinto ay may one metter wide hallway na kaagad na bumungad sa akin. Kapag kumanan ka makikita mo kaagad ang sala, dining table, at kitchen. Kapag dumeretso naman sa hallway may dalawang pinto kang makikita. One is for the master bedroom and one is for the guest room.

When I felt the pain on my nape again, i frowned. The pain was even more painful as it is in the NY. Maybe because I was tired? I guess I should have sleep for a moment.

Naalimpungatan naman ako nang marinig ko ang pag-ring ng cellphone ko. I took it and did not even bother to look on who it is.

“Hello?”

“The hell, Aoi!? Wala ka bang balak magbiga ng balita? Ano na, nasaan ka na ba?!” sunod sunod na tanong ng tao na nasa kabilang linya.

There’s no reason to guess who it is since I know that there’s only one person know my number here. Sa boses pa lang din ay alam ko na si Kenji ‘yun kaya kahit na hindi ko na tingnan ang caller ay alam ko na kung sino ‘yon.

“Sorry, nakatulog ako.” I sat up and continued, “I arrived hours ago.” Hinawi ko naman ang kurtina ng kwarto ko. “Hindi ko napansin ang oras dahil nakatulog ako,” I added.

“Honey, galing sa byahe si Aoi, anong aasahan mo?” Dinig ko na sabi ni Ryosuke sa kabilang linya. “Ah, pasabi pala sa kaniya magpakita siya sa office ko sa susunod na araw. He’ll going to be my secretary while he’s here.”

“Dinig mo ‘yun?”

Napangiwi naman ako. “Oo, narinig ko. Para namang tatakasan ko kayo.” Umirap ako bago tumayo, hinanap ang wallet ko. “Sige na, bibili na muna ako ng makakain ko,” pagpapaalam ko pa.

Gusto ko na sana i-end call ‘to ng wala nang problema kaya lang kapag ginawa ko ‘yun ay mas lalong magkakaroon ng problema. Kenji is the type of leader that were worried about his circle and that is the reason why we choose him to be our leader. Kahit sila Rayle at Kasumi na isa ring dominant omegas ay pinili rin si Kenji para maging leader namin.

I was about to end the call when I heard Kenji’s voice. “Oo nga pala, Aoi…”

Ibinalik ko ang cellphone ko sa tenga ko. “Hmm?”

“Is it really okay with you?” he asked, worriedly.

Napatigil naman ako dahil kahit na hindi ko nakikita ang mukha niya ay alam ko na nag-aalala siya. “What do you mean?” I feign ignorance.

“Huwag ka nang mag-maangmaangan.” I keep my calm, I don’t want to make him worry about me more. “Alam ko na alam mo kung ano ang ibig ko sabihin.” Dinig na dinig ko ang pagmamaktol ni Kenji sa kabilang linya.

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung tatawa ba ako o bubuntong hininga. “Iniisip ko pa lang na makikita ko s’ya hindi lang sa kasal mo with his new omega makes me crazy,” I honestly weakly said. “I feel like I’m going to die. I wanted to be as far as possible to him but being in the same place with him makes it more difficult. Bonded kaming dalawa and our bond will surely do it’s best to make us see each other. Even so, kahit na bonded kaming dalawa, we’re still not meant for each other. We can’t do something about it.”

“No, meron,” disididong sambit ni Kenji. “If he’ll going to have an all-out war to against his family, then there’s something you and him could do.”

Bumuntong hininga si Kenji at alam ko na kung ano ang susunod niyang sasabihin kaya inunahan ko na s’ya. “Kenji, wala talaga akong balak na sabihin sa kaniya kung sino ako. I don’t want his family to use me against him.”

Bumuntong hininga na lang si Kenji sa kabilang linya at saka nagpaalam. May ilang binilin pa siya sa akin bago i-end call. Kung hindi ako o-oo siguradong magtatagal pa at dadami pa ang ibibilin niya sa ‘kin.

I stared at the screen of my phone. “Ganoon ba talaga kapag magiging mommy na?” Nakangiting mahinang sabi ko.

Napailing na lang ako dahil alam ko na kaya ganoon si Kenji ay dahil sa buntis siya. It was also the reason why they’re trying to do the wedding as fast as possible. Knowing that they’re both wealthy, kahit na mabilis ang pag-asikaso sa kanilang wedding ay siguradong magiging success pa rin ito. Simula noong mangyari ang pag-kidnap kay Kenji ay mas lalo nilang binigayan ng pansin si Kenji at mas lalo pang nadagdagan ‘yon nang malaman nilang mahihirapan ito manganak dahil isa siyang recessive omega.

I grabbed my wallet and went out of my apartment. Isang apartment complex ang kinatatayuan ng apartment ko at sa isang floor may limang room. Mura lang ang bayad sa apartment na ‘to at madali lang din naman nai-process dahil sa dinoble ni Kenji at Ryosuke ang bayad sa apartment unit ko.

This apartment is convenient for me. It’s near to the bus stop, around ten minutes’ walk. The convenience store is only five minutes’ walk from the left side of the apartment. Kaya marami talaga ang gusto kumuha ng unit sa apartment building na ‘to. Balita ko pa nga ay maraming gustong lumipat doon ngunit istrikto ang land lord kaya hindi kaagad basta basta nakakabili ng unit sa building na ‘to. Hindi ko lang alam kung ano ang ginawa nina Kenji at Ryosuke kung bakit napapayag nila ang land lord maliban sa doble na presyo na binigay nila.

Nang makarating ako sa convenience store ay kaagad akong pumili ng mga pagkain na bibilhin ko. Dalawang rice with sisg and rice with chicken, and salad. Hindi ko rin kinalimutan na bumili ng beer at bottled water pati na rin ng ilang essentials na kakailanganin ko.

I picked up the tissue and put it on my basket, I was about to pay when I saw a familiar face. otomatiko naman akong tumalikod at saka naghanap muli ng pwedeng ilagay sa basket ko para lang matago ang mukha ko. When I saw them walking towards my direction, I immediately went away from them. Hinintay ko silang makapili ng kanilang bibilhin, makabayad, at makaalis.

Mga college friends namin sila ng mate ko. I know them and I was afraid to meet and face them. Makita ko pa lang sila ay pakiramdam ko maiiyak na ako, pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko kakayanin. Ayoko nang mapag-usapan pa ang mga bagay na nagbibigay pa sa akin ng sakit, ayoko na rin ‘yun alalahanin. Ayoko nang maalala ang mga bagay na gusto ko nang kalimutan.

We broke up five years ago even though we are already bonded. Mahirap, oo, pero pinilit ko. I push myself forward that’s why I am here, that’s why I am still alive and so he is.

Nang makaalis na sila ay kaagad na rin naman ako nagpunta sa counter at nagbayad ng mga binili ko saka nagmamadaling bumalik sa apartment. I was afraid that they will go back there and saw me. Kahit na nakita na ako ni Hiro, I was still not yet ready to face them by group.

Alam ko at talagang pinaalala ko na sa sarili ko na kung babalik ako rito ay siguradong makikita ko sila. I prepared myself but seeing them here right now makes my heart tighten. I missed them, of course. However, I don’t have courage to face them. Siguro nga kailangan ko na talagang ihanda ang sarili ko dahil hindi ko alam kung kelan ko sila makikitang muli.

I ended up drinking the beers I bought at the convenience store as soon as I went home. Seeing them makes me overthink more.