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Chapter 3
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2021-08-14 21:11:10Hanan!
Opening my bedroom window i climb on and sit on the balcony giving me the full access to the view of our street, the morning cloud is a little chill yet the sun has started to rise, my mind drift to 5days days ago at the hospital and i smile, just seeing him makes me alright and everyday i see him he just look handsome than i last saw him, i always pray that God should make him mine i don't want to pray to God to remove his love in my heart because honestly i just want to be with him the man of my dream.
I want God to fulfill my wishe even do that is the only wishe he will grant me in this life."Hanan."i snap out of my thoughts and turn to face my mum.
"Good morning mummy."I say jumping back inside the room.
"Morning.
How are you?"she ask worriedly and i nod."I am ok mum."I say she nod and sit on the edge of my bed.
"Come and sit hanany."my mum say patting the space next to her on the bed.
I sit,she smile at me and hold my hands in hers.
"Hanany."she say and i look at her.
"Na'am mummy."I say and she take a deep breathe.
"Hanan is there anything that is disturbing you and you don't want anyone to know, please tell me i am your mum feel free to discuss anything with me, my mum and i are very close you did see the way i am with her please hanan i want that type of relationship with you.
I don't like the way you're always isolating yourself. Please tell me if something is bothering you.'my mum Say pledingly and i nod with a smile."Mummy i am fine and nothing is bothering me i swear."I say and she sigh.
"Toh, why did thé doctor say you'ré emotionally disturbed."my mum say worriedly and i sigh.
"Mummy i am fine wlh."I say and she breathe out a heavy breathe.
"Ok .
If you say so.Anyway i want to discuss something very important with you."she say and i nod."Did you have a boyfriend?"she ask and i look at her in bewilderment.
"Boyfriend?
Mummy i am just 19yrs, no i dont."i say and she sigh."You'ré graduating next month and i think its better if i ask you now because immediately after your graduation you'ré getting married i just want to know if you have someone in your life."she say and i shake my head.
"I dont have a boyfriend and i dont want to marry a stranger,
I dont want to even marry now."I say and she sigh."Hanan.
I am your mother and i know what is best for you i am discussing this with you because your dad will not want to force you into an arranged marriage i am also not going to force you If you dont want go be with him i wont force you kinji."she say and i nod."Who is hé?"i ask and she smile.
"It's hafiz your brother i know you girls of nowadays dont like all this family marriage but i think hafiz twill take care of you since you'ré his sister, he is a very decent and understanding guy."she say and i look at her confuse.
"Did hé say hé loves me?"i ask curiously.
"Not yet i just want to hear from you if he is ok for you before i tell his mum to speak to him, dont put it in your mind and think maybe we want you to be with each other by force, jasra will speak to hafiz and if he say hé has a girlfrend nobody is going to force any of you to be with each other we just want thé best for you."she say and i nod.
A part of me is happy and excited but deep inside me i know thé answer to his question, he has a girlfriend, a girlfriend he care soo much about and want to spent thé rest of his life with it is such a though pill to swallow knowing he will actually reject me without a second thought.
"Are you alright hanan.
If you dont want him please tell me but dont cry i dont want to force you into an arrange marriage because i know thé beauty in marrying someone you love."my mum say cleaning my face and i smile."No mum i am happy by your choice i hope God choose what is best for us ."I say and she nod with a smile.
"May Allah bless you."she say and i nod.
"Ameen mummy."I say and she stand up.
"Let me go and call jasra so i will tell her i have speak to you thén she will speak to hafiz."she say and i nod.
I watch as she leave thé room and close thé door shut.
I throw myself on thé bed with a sigh.
I close My eyes listening to my heartbeat, i dont care if he will accept me because of our family or out of pity, i will be with him as long as he doesn't reject me hell even if he reject me i will be with him because i care about him and i believe one day he will have same feeling i have for him.Related chapters
Afflictive desires Chapter 4
Hafiz!Coming out of thé airport premises i sigh in relief, thé stupid seminar actually lasted for 3days i spend an extra two days with my love it's actually been a long time since we spend some quality time together Now that i am back it will take a while before i visit again, its very unfortunate that her mum is already budging her about marriage i will really love to marry her now but honestly speaking i dont want to be thé one to confront my parent about marriage it will look as if i am desperate, i am despearate but i just Have to hold on till they talk to me about that i am 27 and sincerely speaking i think i am due for marriage but knowing my mum if i speak about that she will start her dramatic speeches."Over here dude."fazil say standing by his SUV i walk to thé car and we did our signature greeting before i enter thé car."How was thé seminar?"he ask as he start thé car.
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Hanan!"I know that will happen i wasn't expecting him to say yes."I say to Amani after she finish telling me how her parents talked to ya hafiz about our marriage and he declined."But mummy say she doesn't care if he wants to be with you or not , I am just worried about you hanan when ya hafiz is forced into doing something he doesn't want to,it usually ended up into a disaster."she say worriedly and i smile."I don't care Amany,I love ya hafiz for a very long time and i don't care if he doesn't love me back in return I will be with him until he learn to love me."I say and my bestfriend sigh."Hanan let's not fool ourselves here and by now you should know this is real life not all those novel you're reading, you can't convince someone to love you in as much as that person is already in love with someone else it's difficult, you're crazy."she say and i smile just in time my bedroom door open."Hanan.Hafiz is here to see you."my m
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Pacing in his apartment bedroom hafiz sigh frustratedly and face Palm,Why him? never did he ever think even in his wildest dream that a day like this will come a day he has to let go thé girl he love for 8years how is he going to unleash this devastated news to nadia, Hé cant even believe what is happening and that weird girl his parents want him to marry he cant she is not even thé type of girl he want to be with, she is just a brief, weird, very antisocial girl,she is just an akward girl that embraces solitude and derived happiness in fantasys and to think she love him makes him want to yuck out a saliva, Hé has to do something and thé only way out is to convince his parents, his bedroom door barge open and his mum enter she looks really livid."Mu.......Hafiz try saying but his mum doesn't let him finish as her palm collide with his cheek.
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.Hafiz!Entering the hospital with the food bag on my hand i ignore all the weird stare everyone is giving me and head straight to the familiar room, Ofcrse they will stare.How will a handsome guy wearing a suit instead of holding a laptop bag or something professional he is holding a fucking food bag thanks to my mum for wanting me to be a good fiancee and prove to her i really care about my so called fiancee."Hafiz."the familiar voice say and i turn to see my soon to be mother inlaw."Good morning mummy."I say squating and she smile."Morning hafiz,How are you doing?Give me the foodbag and you don't have to bring her food all the time."she say collecting the foodbag from my hand and i smile."It's nothing Anty,I am going to the office just want to check on her before going."I say as we walk sideway."It's fine hafiz we're actually leaving this morning the discharge papers will soon b
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Hafiz!"I think you both should just forget about each other, you know your mum very well and I am pretty sure you know the consequences of what you're doing."fazil say and i sigh."You think is easy to just forget someone you love for 8years?Come on fazil it's just not ok how my mum wants me to pay for the mistake of Nadia mum, I love Nadia and I don't think i will ever love any lady."I say and fazil shrug."Fine then,But your wedding is in 2weeks time and it's better if you two stop seeing each other."he say and I look at him baffle."Oh really!Now you want to advice me because is your sister i am marrying, you cant tell me what to do fazil, i dont love your sister and just because i put on a stupid silly act pretending i love her doesn't mean i want to be with her, if i have any feelings toward your sister its hate because she is thé reason i am not marrying thé girl of my dream, you cant sit here and start
Last Updated : 2021-08-14Afflictive desires Chapter 9
Hanan!Arranging my clothes for thé pré wed photoshoot i sing along "my hearthurt by Dax" i dont know what is actually going on, all i know is that ya hafiz is a good guy even do his mum was thé one that pressurisé him on this marriage but he is also trying to make sure things work between us, Hé could visit me and we discussed alot to get to know each other he is a very nice guy with an amazing personality.Thé knock on my door make me sigh and i yell a come in to whoever is knocking."Hanan.Get ready we'ré going to thé hospital,Jasra just called me that hafiz is in thé hospital he is seriously sick."my mum say making my heartbeat to accelerate."W....What happen to him?"i ask confuse and my mum sigh."I don't know hurry get ready i'm waiting for you downstairs."my mum say and leave thé room.What happen to him? Hé was fine yesterday when he
Last Updated : 2021-08-14Afflictive desires Chapter 10
Hafiz!"So tomorrow is your wedding?"Nadia say staring at me from the laptop screen and i groan."I dont care, what time is your flight?"i ask eating my food and she smile."2:00am, i have 5hours to get ready i will miss you do."She say as she rummage through her handbag."What are you searching for?"i ask with a raise brow and she sigh."N........your mum is standing behind you."She whisper in horror and i close thé laptop shut."Mum wlh is not what you think.We just want to say goodbye to each other nothing more i promise."I say."Hafiz!You want to embarass me right, so you'ré still seeing that girl, tomorrow is your wedding this house is full of guest and family members what if someone sees you,what will you say?hafiz if by any chance after this marriage hanan complain to me about anything wlh you wont like thé conséquences and if you ever see or speak to that girl again i will ne
Last Updated : 2021-08-14Afflictive desires Chapter 11
Hanan!"Hanan please is ok "wanan irin kuka saikache za'a kashe ki"you've completely ruin your make up."Anty basmah say removing the veil they use to cover my face."Hananu, I thought you said you won't cry, see you in ya hafiz house and you 're crying wait till we all leave."Amany say as Anty basmah do make up."What's wrong with you Amany, don't mind her hanan we 're staying with you kinji."Anty inteesar say.I can't even believe i will sleep anywhere not in my parent house, I am already missing my dad , the wedding went pretty well just the way i wanted it to be, ya hafiz seems to be moody today i try asking him if he's ok during the dinner party but he just keep on giving me attitude i just concluded that maybe he is stressful."Amany, where is amaya?"Aunty basmah ask once she is done with my make up."She's outside with ya fazil,Sophy and fadila are in the guest room."Amany say."Go and tell them to get ready since Hafiz ar
Last Updated : 2021-08-14
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Afflictive desires Chapter 20
Hanan!The next few days pass by pretty quickly and Amany will be leaving tomorrow, I won't say i am happy but she has to leave so i can fix my marriage i don't know what is wrong with ya hafiz this days.sometimes he become super nice even without amany in our presence other times he become aggressive and snap at both me and his sister something is disturbing him and i don't know what, he became pretty quiet and he usually sleep off the day and spend the night doing whatever the fuck on his laptop he is turning into a lychnobite he is no longer the workaholic ya hafiz i can't even remember when last he go to work, he is different and it scared the shit out of me.Ever since the day i passed out in the parlour we begin to share same bedroom with him sometimes he sleep on the bed with me and other times he sleep alone ordering me to sleep on the floor but i don't mind because honestly speaking ya hafiz is a complete different person he is acting weird."Are yo
Afflictive desires Chapter 20
Hanan!The next few days pass by pretty quickly and Amany will be leaving tomorrow, I won't say i am happy but she has to leave so i can fix my marriage i don't know what is wrong with ya hafiz this days.sometimes he become super nice even without amany in our presence other times he become aggressive and snap at both me and his sister something is disturbing him and i don't know what, he became pretty quiet and he usually sleep off the day and spend the night doing whatever the fuck on his laptop he is turning into a lychnobite he is no longer the workaholic ya hafiz i can't even remember when last he go to work, he is different and it scared the shit out of me.Ever since the day i passed out in the parlour we begin to share same bedroom with him sometimes he sleep on the bed with me and other times he sleep alone ordering me to sleep on the floor but i don't mind because honestly speaking ya hafiz is a complete different person he is acting weird."Are yo
Afflictive desires Chapter 19
Hanan!"We should eat ya hafiz is sleeping, he is probably tired from work."I say sitting on thé dinning."Oh ok."amany say and dish me thé plate of Rice and stew, i mutter a thank you and began stuffing thé food in my mouth.Showing his girlfriend to my face and later he will come out pretending as if everything is cool, i wishe he can just love me even do is a little."Hanan!"i look up from my food and amany give me this weird look."Are you alright?You are just rushing thé food as if you ré fighting with someone."she say looking at me worriedly."I am fine,I.....ju...s...I need to rest."I say and leave thé dinning.I go to my bedroom slamming thé door shut, i lay on my bed and begin to sob.Why is this happening to me, i love him why can't he see that?Why am i not good enough i just want a happy life with my husband.Th door to my bedroom open i dont b
Afflictive desires Chapter 18
Hafiz!Thé next morning i wake up early and get ready for office, honestly speaking i just want to speak to nadia yesterday i spend thé whole night regreting why i snap at her like that, i called her multiple times and she didn't pick i texted her this morning i am confident she will call me thé moment she read my message.Coming out of my room i head downstairs and stop when i heard thé familiar voice from thé kitchen i tiptoe and eavesdrop by thé kitchen door."Mummy wlh they slept in seperate room, yesterday night i checked on hanan two times and she slept in her room, this morning again i check and saw her sleeping on her prayer mat, kuma ya hafiz ma didn't ate dinner with us yesterday night,."my sister say and i hide by thé kitchen door."No problèm mummy i will keeep you update insha Allah i will call you later before someone caught me."she say laughing and i quietly drop my laptop bag on th&ea
Afflictive desires Chapter 17
Hafiz!"What time is the discharge?"my mum ask and I turn my gaze to her."We 've been discharged already i just want to finish feeding her,she will take her medication we will then go home."I say giving the spoonful of the salad to her.Honestly speaking i just can't wait for us to be home, all this fake smiles and pretense is killing me, how I have to feed her, massage her to sleep, let's not mention the PDA little kisses i have to display to make my parents happy, I can't even remember when last i spoke to nadia i have to keep my phone at home i can't take chances because there is no way she won't call and the way my mum is always looking at me suspeciously i rather continue my acting and suppress all the anger in me till we go home."I am ok."she say looking at me and i smile."Are you sure?"I ask looking at her worriedly and she nod."Give her the medicine and let's get going Amany is already at home, I ask her to clean an
Afflictive desires Chapter 16
Hanan!"Mummy wlh it's not ya hafiz fault, we just had a little arguement about the honeymoon and i went to my room."I lie and Anty jasra just eye me suspeciously."Hanan you're lieing, you're trying to cover up for hafiz the two of you story doesn't even match, i know how to handle the both of you, you think i don't know hafiz, he is a very manipulative, cunning boy i give birth to him so there is no point trying to change a zebra strip."she say and i sigh."Anty please let him in, it's been two days ya hafiz isn't as bad as you picture him, it was just a coincidence and i am at fault please forgive him."I say with a smile and she hold my hands."Hanan.Please if hafiz is doing anything you don't favor tell me don't ever think because he is my son i will support him ,please Dan Allah i don't know how am going to tell your mum this, i know i forced hafiz into this marriage so just because you love him doesn't mean you will endure everything, kinji."s
Afflictive desires Chapter 15
Hafiz!I wake up to the vibrating of my phone, I pick it from the bedside drawer and answer it without care before pressing it to my ear."Meye haka!Come and open the door for us."my mum voice ring in my ear making the sleep to vanish out of my eyes.I drop the phone and throw the duvet off my body, I put on shirt and Sprint out of the room just in time the doorbell ring again.I run down the staircase and open the door open."Good afternoon Mummy,Daddy."I say confuse and they both brush past me and enter the parlour."It's evening anyway,how are you doing?"my dad ask sitting on the couch and I scratch my head."Fine.We kinda sleep off the day.Mummy how are you doing?"I ask looking at her and she smile."Where is hanan?I called her 3times she also didn't answer."my mum say and i smile."We were both asleep, maybe her phone is in silent or something let me wake
Afflictive desires Chapter 14
Hanan!Thé next morning i wake up earlier than usual aside from that there is this weird tension behind my ear that is telling me i will soon have a headache. i lay on thé prayer mat quietly sobbing, why is ya hafiz doing this to me sometimes i wishe he can see through my body maybe that way he will get a glance of my heart and he will understand how much he mean to me. Thé vibrating of my phone makes me sit upright and i pick my phone from the bed, my dad name flashes on thé screen and i smile."Hello daddy."I say putting my phone to my ear."Hey. How is my princess doing?""I am fine dad."I say with a sniff and clean my tears."Are you alright, you'ré crying?What happen?"Hé ask worriedly and i smile."It's nothing dad, i miss you."I say and he sigh from thé other line."It's ok baby i will call hafiz so he will take you to thé farm house, stop cr
Afflictive desires Chapter 13
Hafiz!Thé days seems to drag by slowly, i am too eager for this week to pass so by next week i will be with my love,It takes alot of lies and convincing to vanquish my mum curiousity and make her believe hanan did choose London for thé Honeymoon,I Have to threaten thé little girl i called a so called wife to do anything to convince her, honestly speaking that girl is weird, everything about her disgust me from thé way she dress, thé way she speak she is just a complété idiot in my opinion.I am very hungry and i dont think mum will send us any food today since she called earlier today to let me know she is travelling, i will make noodles for myself and later i will buy something to eat.I come out of the room and head downstairs scrolling through my phone emails."Good afternoon ya hafiz."Thé familiar voice s
