Afflictive desires

Afflictive desires

By:  khadyjatr  Ongoing
Language: English
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Hanan think things that she shouldn't. She dream things that she shouldn't. She want things that she shouldn't and its all because of one thing. Because she do care about him, she do crave him, she yearn for his love, her eyes are so tempted by his smile,her lips whispering secrets of a forbidden love, A love she know that she can never have it which is the one that last the longest,hurt the deepest and feel strongest, She couldn't shake off this forbidden feeling that she had unconverted, a love she know she can never have so she decided to keep her desire deep inside her. Watching and loving him from afar and only then Hanan know that there is nothing worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it. It was such an afflictive desires yet she never know that her desire will be fulfill but as the saying goes for every deepest desire to be fulfill it must come with a great sacrifice. And for hanan she have to sacrifice her happiness, she have to go through a lot of pains to make her desires come to life.

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21 Chapters

Chapter 1

 Sitted on thé balcony of her window Hanan watch thé man of her dream drive out of the house in thé familiar Mercedes benz, she releases a heavy breathe and stare at the gloomy cloud with a sigh, never did she thought she will be in such situation.Growing up hanan always had this weird feeling wheneverr she is around him she decided it was just a silly crush that teenagers have on a good looking guy because honestly speaking we all have that one cousin we find very attractive she would say to her self.   But as she grows up thé crush escalated into an insatiable desire, a desire she know can only be fulfill in her fantasy. Because she do know that Hafiz hardly noticed her presence sometimes she wishe she is as beautiful as her mum maybe he will notice but nevertheless anytime hé is with her brother she do eavesdropped into there conversation and it always revolved around a girl "Nadia" who hafiz is in love with.
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Chapter 2

 Hafiz!Dropping my phone on the table i massage my forehead with a sigh.I can't believe dad is asking me to go for the seminar i just got back yesterday, why can't he just go by himself i am soo tired all i do is work, work and work the only reason i am excited about the seminar is because i am going to see the love of my life there she already text a list of things she wants me to buy for her when coming."Hey!"I look up to see my bestfriend fazil and i smile."What's up big guy."I say as he sit on the couch."Nothing just a little tired dad sent me to meet this weird client at Lafia the meeting went bad."he say scratching his head."Dad just called me that i should get ready remember that seminar I told you he is going in London, well i will be the one going instead am just a little happy i will see nadia been a while we actually see each other."I say and he nod."Yeah!When are you leaving?he ask with a raise brow
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Chapter 3

 Hanan!Opening my bedroom window i climb on and sit on the balcony giving me the full access to the view of our street, the morning cloud is a little chill yet the sun has started to rise, my mind drift to 5days days ago at the hospital and i smile, just seeing him makes me alright and everyday i see him he just look handsome than i last saw him, i always pray that God should make him mine i don't want to pray to God to remove his love in my heart because honestly i just want to be with him the man of my dream.I want God to fulfill my wishe even do that is the only wishe he will grant me in this life."Hanan."i snap out of my thoughts and turn to face my mum."Good morning mummy."I say jumping back inside the room."Morning.How are you?"she ask worriedly and i nod."I am ok mum."I say she nod and sit on the edge of my bed."Come and sit hanany."my mum say patting the space next to her on the bed.I sit,she sm
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Chapter 4

 Hafiz!Coming out of thé airport premises i sigh in relief, thé stupid seminar actually lasted for 3days i spend an extra two days with my love it's actually been a long time since we spend some quality time together Now that i am back it will take a while before i visit again, its very unfortunate that her mum is already budging her about marriage i will really love to marry her now but honestly speaking i dont want to be thé one to confront my parent about marriage it will look as if i am desperate,   i am despearate but i just Have to hold on till they talk to me about that i am 27 and sincerely speaking i think i am due for marriage but knowing my mum if i speak about that she will start her dramatic speeches."Over here dude."fazil say standing by his SUV i walk to thé car and we did our signature greeting before i enter thé car."How was thé seminar?"he ask as he start thé car.
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Chapter 5

Hanan!"I know that will happen i wasn't expecting him to say yes."I say to Amani after she finish telling me how her parents talked to ya hafiz about our marriage and he declined."But mummy say she doesn't care if he wants to be with you or not , I am just worried about you hanan when ya hafiz is forced into doing something he doesn't want to,it usually ended up into a disaster."she say worriedly and i smile."I don't care Amany,I love ya hafiz for a very long time and i don't care if he doesn't love me back in return I will be with him until he learn to love me."I say and my bestfriend sigh."Hanan let's not fool ourselves here and by now you should know this is real life not all those novel you're reading, you can't convince someone to love you in as much as that person is already in love with someone else it's difficult, you're crazy."she say and i smile just in time my bedroom door open."Hanan.Hafiz is here to see you."my m
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Chapter 6

 Pacing in his apartment bedroom hafiz sigh frustratedly and face Palm,Why him?    never did he ever think even in his wildest dream that a day like this will come a day he has to let go thé girl he love for 8years how is he going to unleash this devastated news to nadia,    Hé cant even believe what is happening and that weird girl his parents want him to marry he cant she is not even thé type of girl he want to be with, she is just a brief, weird, very antisocial girl,she is just an akward girl that embraces solitude and  derived happiness in fantasys and to think she love him makes him want to yuck out a saliva,   Hé has to do something and thé only way out is to convince his parents, his bedroom door barge open and his mum enter she looks really livid."Mu.......Hafiz try saying but his mum doesn't let him finish as her palm collide with his cheek.
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Chapter 7

.Hafiz!Entering the hospital with the food bag on my hand i ignore all the weird stare everyone is giving me and head straight to the familiar room,   Ofcrse they will stare.How will a handsome guy wearing a suit instead of holding a laptop bag or something professional he is holding a fucking food bag thanks to my mum for wanting me to be a good fiancee and prove to her i really care about my so called fiancee."Hafiz."the familiar voice say and i turn to see my soon to be mother inlaw."Good morning mummy."I say squating and she smile."Morning hafiz, How are you doing?Give me the foodbag and you don't have to bring her food all the time."she say collecting the foodbag from my hand and i smile."It's nothing Anty,I am going to the office just want to check on her before going."I say as we walk sideway."It's fine hafiz we're actually leaving this morning the discharge papers will soon b
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Chapter 8

 Hafiz!"I think you both should just forget about each other, you know your mum very well and I am pretty sure you know the consequences of what you're doing."fazil say and i sigh."You think is easy to just forget someone you love for 8years?Come on fazil it's just not ok how my mum wants me to pay for the mistake of Nadia mum, I love Nadia and I don't think i will ever love any lady."I say and fazil shrug."Fine then,But your wedding is in 2weeks time and it's better if you two stop seeing each other."he say and I look at him baffle."Oh really!Now you want to advice me because is your sister i am marrying, you cant tell me what to do fazil, i dont love your sister and just because i put on a stupid silly act pretending i love her doesn't mean i want to be with her, if i have any feelings toward your sister its hate because she is thé reason i am not marrying thé girl of my dream, you cant sit here and start
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Chapter 9

Hanan!Arranging my clothes for thé pré wed photoshoot i sing along "my hearthurt by Dax" i dont know what is actually going on, all i know is that ya hafiz is a good guy even do  his mum was thé one that pressurisé him on this marriage but he is also trying to make sure things work between us, Hé could visit me and we discussed alot to get to know each other he is a very nice guy with an amazing personality.Thé knock on my door make me sigh and i yell a come in to whoever is knocking."Hanan.Get ready we'ré going to thé hospital, Jasra just called me that hafiz is in thé hospital he is seriously sick."my mum say making my heartbeat to accelerate."W....What happen to him?"i ask confuse and my mum sigh."I don't know hurry get ready i'm waiting for you downstairs."my mum say and leave thé room.What happen to him? Hé was fine yesterday when he
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Chapter 10

Hafiz!"So tomorrow is your wedding?"Nadia say staring at me from the laptop screen and i groan."I dont care, what time is your flight?"i ask eating my food and she smile."2:00am, i have 5hours to get ready i will miss you do."She say as she rummage through her handbag."What are you searching for?"i ask with a raise brow and she sigh."N........your mum is standing behind you."She whisper in horror and i close thé laptop shut."Mum wlh is not what you think.We just want to say goodbye to each other nothing more i promise."I say."Hafiz!You want to embarass me right, so you'ré still seeing that girl, tomorrow is your wedding this house is full of guest and family members what if someone sees you,what will you say?hafiz if by any chance after this marriage hanan complain to me about anything wlh you wont like thé conséquences and if you ever see or speak to that girl again i will ne
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