CHAPTER TWELVE | I'M NOT A MONSTER

ALPHA NATE

"Wait." Blake called as soon as I made a move to leave.

"What is it Blake?" Today has been nothing like I expected and it's very upsetting.

"You are already here and I have put in the effort to make tonight special, why don't you just wait and enjoy the evening with me, I promise you that I won't talk about anything mate related." Well he is right, I am dressed and I am here and hungry, so why not?

"Alright but if you mention anything about mate or you try to convince me, I will leave without hesitation." I assured him.

Like I said I am not attracted to guys and a few nice gestures here and there won't change anything besides the risk involved with him is just too much.

"Okay, have a sit." He signaled to the waiter and he showed up to take our orders.

When the waiter showed up, I ordered for Chicken arrabbiata stew and parmesan dumplings, while Blake ordered for Chicken and chorizo ragu and a side of rice. Then we ordered a bottle of wine to go with it.

I really love this place, the weather is cool and the view is beautiful, it's a good choice but it would have been perfect if I was here with a lady.

"How did you know about this place?"

"I asked Charlie for suggestions, do you like it?" Does that mean that she might be here looking at us right now?

"Did you tell her that you are coming with me because she might be here right now." I pointed out while looking around.

Everywhere is pretty dark and someone can be hiding somewhere...

"Calm down Nate, it's not that deep. She gave me a few suggestions but she's doesn't know which one I picked, besides she doesn't know that it's for me. I told her that an old friend from my former pack needs the information, so relax no one knows that we are here." Well that's a relief because the last thing I want is for anyone to find out about us before I finally reject him as my mate.

"Alright, that's good." I said just as the waiter brought our drinks... He opened and served us before he went back for the food.

"So I heard that you are training to be a fighter, how is that going?" I asked just to lighten up his mood. It's obvious that I ruined whatever plans he had and he is no longer in a good mood.

"Yeah, my uncle is forcing me and it's honestly not going well."

"Why is he forcing you, don't you want to be a fighter?" I asked curiously.

Truthfully though, he doesn't look like a fighter. He doesn't have the built and he kind of looks fragile, he is skinny and he is average height, he looks nothing like a fighter.

"I can't be a fighter, I am not strong enough but he wants me to learn because of what happened in my former pack." I know that Charvi mentioned that he was being bullied but he looks so sad like there is more to it.

"Charvi mentioned that they bullied you in your former pack but why? You grew up there, so why did they start bullying you?"

"It's Charlie not Charvi." He corrected but I don't give a fuck about her name. "They found out that I am frail and weak and that I haven't shifted yet, so I guess they just wanted to prove to me that they are better and more superior to me." He explained and I can tell he is sad about it.

Truly, it's actually weird. So people shift as early as thirteen but I shifted when I was sixteen but he is already eighteen, so it's a little weird but that's not enough reason for him to be bullied.

"Don't worry about it, I am sure you will shift soon." I consoled just as our food arrived... The delay might have something to do with the fact that his both parents are not werewolves but I might be wrong.

No wonder Jake said he is not doing great at the training but if he really wants it, I think he can still improve although I don't think he is interested.

"Thanks."

We ate our food in silence and enjoyed the weather. Honestly, it's actually fun to be out of the pack and have sensible conversation with someone for a change.

"Charlie thinks the only reason you didn't have sex with her is because you want to pick her as your Luna and you are trying to know her better first before taking things to the next level." Blake said out of the blue and it almost made me choke.

"Hehehe, is that a joke?" I asked while laughing because that's the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a while. "What the fuck gave her that impression?"

"I don't know, I think she just couldn't think of a good reason why you turned her down and she just assumed." He said while smiling.

It's weird and annoying how I pick up the little things about him, like his beautiful smile and how he scratches the back of his neck when he is nervous.

"Well she assumed wrong, it's never happening." To be honest, I don't even know why I turned her down to begin with.

I have never turned down sex before even when it comes with risk like Alpha Chris's twin sisters, I am always willing but with Charvi, I just didn't feel like it which is very strange.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked when I noticed the big smile on his face.

"Nothing important." Saying that even made me more curious but I don't want to force him to talk because I have a feeling it might be relating to a topic I don't want to talk about and I don't want to ruin my mood especially because I am having a good time.

"Okay." We finished our food and we decided to take a stroll around the beach for a while before we go back to the pack.

"Can I ask you something?" He suddenly said and I have a feeling I won't like what he is about to ask me.

"Go ahead."

"For how long have you and Raphael been friends for?" I know exactly where this is going, he wants to know how easy it was for me to treat him the way I did.

"Almost all my life, we grew up together. We are practically like brothers and I know what you will say next. You want to know how I was able to do what I did to him right?"

"Yes but I am not trying to judge you, I just want to know how you feel about it." No one has ever asked me how the whole situation affects me, they all probably think that I am a monster but it's not true.

"I am not a monster, maybe I am not exactly a good person but I am not a monster and what I did to Raphael is unforgivable but I had to. My dad made the law and I don't know why he hates gay so much but I grew up hating gays and even though I don't hate Raphael, it was very disappointing and I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did... Knowing Raphael, he won't keep that part of him a secret and he didn't want to reject his mate and if my dad finds out about him, he will order the pack members to beat him to death and I didn't want that and I regret the way I treated him but it's too late now, I miss him so much." My voice cracked as I explained.

"It's okay." Blake said and gave me a hug before I could even stop him. "I don't think you are a monster, maybe you could have handled the situation better but I don't think that you are a monster." I found myself leaning into the hug and holding him tight.

His hug is so comforting and he is right, I should have allowed Raphael leave the pack honorably with his mate instead of embarrassing him the way he did but I have no idea what possessed me to act the way I did and I regret it.

"Thanks." I whispered before he pulled away from the hug and I suddenly felt empty.

"I think we should go, it's pretty late." He is right, it's very late already.

I have been having so much fun that I lost track of time... My regular definition of fun is drinking and having sex but this is different and I like it.

"Yeah we should go, thanks for this. I actually had fun, it was pretty nice."

"I'm glad you had fun, thanks for staying. Hopefully we can do this again or any other thing you like." He suggested.

He is actually fun when he is not hounding me about mate and love, besides I don't have friends right now, so I guess we can hang out. "Sure, that's okay."