XIENNE
I can see you from behind
You can hear me in your mind
Now I know what is my favorite song. It always plays on my mind. There's something in the lyrics that urges me to kill. Kill everyone who degraded me.
"Will you stop singing that song? Creepy head," she said. No matter how hard she tries to be brave, I know she's afraid.
I laughed. What a pitiful creature? This is her last day, won't she make anything good? Say anything nice to me? She's facing her death now.
"Psychopath!" she shouted.
"Indeed, I am."
I licked the knife I am holding. I tasted the blood. It's tasty, I'm thirsty for it.
Run so fast as you can go
Time will catch you before you know
Yes, run until you can. Run as long as your feet can standstill. Hide, Beatrice. But I can't promise that she can hide well. There is nowhere she can go.
She ran. I still walked slowly. She can't escape. This is my payback time to those people who bullied me and degraded my well-being.
Are you afraid of the dark?
Are you scared?
Hi-hi
You know
I am you
Do not be afraid of the dark. Be afraid of what is in it. You never know, someone wants to kill you.
I was nice to them. They abused my pure and kind-hearted heart. I did nothing to them but pure kindness. I have the purest and good intention for all of them. They used me.
I was taken for granted.
Is it bad if I will take vengeance? They say revenge is for the weak. No, revenge is for me and I am not weak like what they say. I am not the old Xienne, not anymore. They made me like this.
They wished they have been good to me before but it's already too late. Better wish and pray this is not their last day.
I am brave. Brave enough to kill.
Hi-hi
I'm coming closer
Lalalalalalalala
I will catch you
Hum-hum, hum-hum
The time, it goes
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock
Hi-hi-hi
I walked and walked. There is no other door here except the entrance door. It is way too far from here now.
I saw her panicking because she's trapped. There is nowhere she can go.
"Any last words, my darling?" I asked.
"Bitch, you'll gonna pay for this," she said, crying.
Pity.
"To whom am I gonna pay? They don't know anything. Only you. Well, you don't have any chance to spill this to anyone. This is your last day, your last minute," I muttered. "I will kill you."
I stepped closer to her. Brace yourself.
Her knees trembled and she sat on the ground. Arms crossed to her body as if she's using it to protect herself. Tsk, stupid.
"No, Xienne. No! I'm sorry for what I've done to you." This is her now, begging me.
"Darling, it's already too late. You are one of the reasons why I became like this. You all made me like this. I don't even like myself now because I know this isn't me. But what can I do? I want to take revenge," I am already crying.
"I am really sorry. Forgive me, Xienne. Don't do this to me."
There's no pity left in me. I shook my head. Stepped closed and closer to her. I saw her trembling.
"See you in hell, Beatrice," I said.
I stabbed her in her chest. I lost count on how many times I stab her. All I know, she's no longer breathing. While stabbing the knife at her, I am crying. This isn't me. What happened to me? I made my hands dirty.
Her eyes are still open. Looking at me with tears on it.
However, there was joy in my heart.
This is my vengeance for those who stepped on me.
I can't wait to write this in my diary.
•••
I felt sadness in our class today. Beatrice's death is probably felt. They are all mourning her death not knowing the killer is one of their classmates.
I secretly smiled. They are unlikely to suspect me because they say, I am lame and weak. That was me before. They would not want to know and meet the new me. They will be scared, I know.
They will certainly not suspect me of evil. They see me as a good person who could not commit any mistake and sin.
This is just the beginning. I will take you all one by one. This is my payback.
“Can you believe it? She was with us yesterday, happy and alive. She's is still having fun bullying Xienne,” said one of my classmates.
I innocently looked at all of them who were looking at me now. I pretended to be sad but deep inside I was already laughing at their faces. They are all funny. Stupid heads!
"Whoever did that to our friend, she or he will pay," said Clark. "I will never let this pass."
I rolled my eyes.
Says who that you’ll catch me?
I remember what I wrote in my diary just last night.
Dear Diary,
Hi, D. Guess what? I already killed Beatrice. The first on the list I will kill. I wanted to laugh at her earlier, she thought I was crazy. Though, she called me a psychopath. I'm not crazy! She is the crazy one. What does she think? I will feel sorry for her, I'll show pity on her? They did not feel sorry for me before. I begged them several times to stop bullying and degrading me, but what? They did not stop. I am not even satisfied with what I did to sister Beatrice. I wish I hadn’t stopped stabbing her until her heart came out. She woke up to death.
Her eyes are still open. Can she see the joy on my face while stabbing him? It would not have been like this, D, if they had stopped me with her henchmen. I will write the next target on my list. When I'm not busy, I need to review for Prelims first. You know, I study hard. I will play innocent first as of now. I killed Beatrice cleanly, and no evidence can point that I am the one who killed her. What if, I put a twist, D? Like, blame the other innocent people for what I have done? HAHAHAHAHA. That's a good idea. For now, I'll think about how I can do that. Till next time again, when I already killed anyone from them. Wait for me, okay? Mwah!
Xienne
I couldn't help but laugh. Everyone looked at me with confusion in their eyes.
"Crazy," said Misty.
"Indeed, I am." My voice became fierce. Oh, my gosh! I forgot I was playing dumb and innocent. "Just kidding." Some girls rolled their eyes at me. They will stop doing that once I grab it using my dirty little fingers.
"Nothing's funny," Clark said. His big voice was annoyed and loud. “You’re probably happy with what happened to Beatrice, right? Admit it. Finally, your bullies became less so you laughed."
I looked at him. Turn to show them my other personality.
“So what now if I am happy with her death? What do you want me to do? Mourn with you? HAHAHAHAHA. I won’t. It is totally fine for me with what happened to her. She deserves to die! ”
They are all looking at me, surprised by what I have said. They thought I could not fight them but they are all wrong.
I stood up and I left them all dumbfounded. I’m sure they won’t accuse me.
They see me as too weak.
I went to the back of the university. Where students won't go because apart from being a bit thick or having tall grasses, the ambiance is scary. Students are too scared that there are wild animals here and will attack them anytime.
And there is this feeling that someone is looking right behind you. It gives a chill down my spine. The ambiance here is giving me an uneasy feeling. I always had goosebumps but I still choose to ignore it.
I always go here whenever I want to get away from them.
I approached an old tree and sat at its root. I am far from the quadrangle now but I can still see a few students walking. Some of them are talking, some are gracefully laughing, and some are alone sitting at the benches.
“Hey, creep. What are you doing here? "A tall man appeared somewhere. His color was pale. Enough to make him look like a vampire.
Nah, vampires don't exist.
I stared at him intently. His round eyes seemed to be covered with eyeliner which suited him. His eyebrows were thick. Has a sharp nose and thin lips. Brown is the color of his eyes. A few strands of his hair covered his left eye.
His ear was full of piercings.
How come I don’t see him always here at the University. Is he a new student? Probably not, we're near the end of the first semester. Maybe he's a ghost.
Yeah, crazy.
“Nothing,” I answered. “And don’t call me creepy as if you know me. You look creepy, too. ”
He let out a crisp laugh. "If you say so." He turned his back at me and slowly walked away while waving his hand, bidding goodbye. "I am watching you."
What does he mean he’s watching me?
XIENNE“Hey? Are you really going to be slow? Hurry up, we are hungry here! ”Clark shouted from their table.I am here at the counter waiting for my order to be served or should I say, their orders. I did not bother to answer him. I waited patiently for the canteen staff to give me the food I ordered.His shout was heard by many students. I am used to it. It is like their everyday routine to order me some things they can really do but chose to make someone do it for them. I'm still confused if it is still normal for a college student to act like a kid.They made me as their laughing stuff. I can't fight back. I do not have enough courage to do that.But that was before.I can play them through my hands. I can make them dumb and fool. I can kill them.Do all the things like this until they can because, in the end, I will make them beg.They wil
XIENNEA sudden flashback came up to my mind.“You are beautiful, Xienne. But you know what? There is something with you that I didn't like,” said Samantha.I looked at her. Did she approach me in my sit to say that thing? However, I just looked at her. I did not speak. I do not dare to fight back on the things they do. I don't have the courage.She knew in herself that she could not get any answer from me. “You are also smart. There’s a lot of reasons to envy you. But you’re pathetic,” said Samantha.I will never retaliate. Because revenge is only for people with narrow brains, the capacity of the mind is small. I am not that low. I won’t stoop down on their levels.I was so annoyed when she hit my forehead with her index finger.“What? Won't you say anything? Say something. Make me mad,” she said. Emphasizing every word that comes from her fucking mouth.
XIENNEI went to the dirty sink of the house. There are no left things here. I saw gallons of water at the bottom of the sink. It's good so that I can wash my hands later.I heard the door slowly open. A smile flashed on my lips."Joshua?" said Samantha.I slowly uncovered my head by lowering the hood of the jacket then faced her. There was a look of shock on her face, she did not expect to see me."Surprise, bitch."My two hands are inside the pocket of the hoodie jacket. I am holding the knife inside. I gave her a demonic smile.“What are you doing here? Are you alone?” she asked.“Have you seen anyone else here besides me? No one, right? I'm just alone. Stupid.”His eyes narrowed. She crossed her arms. "I am expecting someone here."She stood u
XIENNE"Seriously, why do you look frustrated earlier? Is there something that happened to you?" asked Nikolai.We are still here outside of the mini grocery. Silenced enveloped the both of us for I did not answer his question. I looked at him, never breaking it. I examined his whole face that is undeniably handsome though he looks like someone who should not be trusted easily.“Nothing. I just have a very personal problem and I don't want to talk about it. Quit asking.”He shrugged his shoulders and got some chips and immediately put them inside his mouth. He chewed it too noisy that I found it so infuriating.I rolled my eyes. He then laughed which made the chunks inside his mouth go out.Yuck.“What's so funny? And can you please eat cleanly? You're so gross. At least, serve manners while eating,” I said.He wiped the excessed chunks of the
XIENNE“OH MY GOSH! SAMANTHAAAAA!!!” Jen shouted the moment we came here in the abandoned house.We came here with the police officials.The shock was evident in their faces. They could not say anything for they can not believe what happened to Samantha.She is almost unrecognizable. Her eyes are still wide open, looking at the ceiling. Some of my classmates vomited, even Clark. The stink of Samantha’s body is can not be accepted by our body system.“All of you, go out. We are going to take care of her body. And, Miss Jen, one of the detectives will ask you for some question regarding of her last words before she left you,” the Chief Police shouted that made us all leave the house.My classmates are all silent. Who would believe that their Dear Samantha will be found dead and almost unrecognizable.Samantha is pretty and my stabs made her face pretty bad. It i
XIENNE“What’s the update with Beatrice and Samantha’s death?” asked Lexy.I never thought she would be serious about being friends with me. She always shadows me wherever I am going. It’s been a week since Samantha’s death and they still plop Jen as the primary suspect which was good for me.“I don’t know. Beatrice’s case is close to being a case close. They can’t find any evidence which can point to someone as a suspect,” I answered. “Meanwhile, about Samantha, the officers are currently approaching Jen’s boyfriend if she’s really with him that the murder happened.”Lexy was constantly swaying her feet while we are sitting here on one of the benches in the Science garden. She turned her gaze up at me, examining my face.“I really admire your beauty and your wit,” she confided.She really does speak randomly.“Tsk, shut up, Lexy. Go back to your class, you might be
XIENNE“I think I like you, Xienne,” Clark whispered.I looked intently at his eyes, only to see sincerity with it. He smiled a little.Is it true? He really does like me?We are here at the back of the University, there are not many students here.I remained silent for his sudden confession bug me. Clark had been good to me since we were sophomores. Now, he’s confessing to me.I won’t deny it, I like him, too. He has the looks, nevertheless, I think I am just infatuated by his looks.“Can I court you?” he asked.I blinked my eyes, my mouth was hung open for I do not know what to say. He is waiting for my answer. I breathed heavily.“Uh! Clark, I will be honest to you, I have a huge crush on you but I do not think I can commit. Studying is my first priority and being in a relationship is the least. I’m sorry but I n
XIENNEDear Diary,Now I already have a plan on how will I kill Ace. Though my plan would be so hard to make it happen successfully I know it would be all worth it. I trust myself. I will seduce him and get his trust and attention then I will do my dirty little plan. Thinking of it gives me a huge excitement. Surely, killing him will give to me great satisfaction. But for now, I need to do my first step. It is befriending them all to earn their trust in me. I will play good and kind just like I was before. A good girl. I don’t care if they will abuse my kindness again, the most important thing is making them all stupid and then killing them all. No one dared to be good at me from them, and they deserve what I am going to them, D. Watch and I will make all my plans happen. Wait for it, D. That’s all for my entry today. Got to go!-XienneI closed my notebo
XIENNEI quietly followed George, it was four o'clock in the morning and he had just finished work at a convenience store. I don't know if he still sleeps well because he is a student during the day and works at night. He looks very drowsy based on his appearance and he doesn't seem to know anything around him. It will be morning but it is still dark. I was wearing a hoodie jacket and its hood covered my head. I also look everywhere to see if there are any CCTVs. I saw nothing but outside the convenience store he worked at and I tried not to went through the camera so they couldn’t see me.George entered an alley causing me to smile, there was only one house at the end, his house. I heard the news that George is an orphan, his parents died in an accident when he was in highschool. His parents was supposed to go to his graduation from work but could not make it after their car was hit by a ten wheeler truck. What a tragic.
XIENNEThree days after Sage’s accident, while we were quietly in class, George arrived. He just came in and now he wears his usual smile that is wide enough to see his complete set of teeth, it is as if there he has good news to tell us.“Sage was said to be awake last night, I went there before I came here. He was just stunned and looked so scared, he wanted to say something but he couldn’t say it because he was having a hard time,” he said.Our classmates were immediately thrilled to hear the news. While I'm sorry because Sage hasn't really died yet. Destiny does not want to be with me. Why haven't they died yet?Some of our classmates stood up and said they were going to visit Sage to the hospital today to say hello to him and ask. Didn't they understand what George said that man could not speak. I hope they let him rest first because they still have plenty of time to ask questions.C
XIENNEI looked at them annoyed because I knew they were accusing me. It is true that I killed two of my classmates but I did not killed the others. I am not the perpetrator of the accidents. I may really have the intention to retaliate, they are not wrong about that but they don't have to blame me for everything.“Why are you looking at me? Do you think that I am taking revenge on you and that I am responsible for everything?” I asked.“It is not like that, Xienne. We’re just thinking of possibilities. We never forget that we have done something wrong to you so we can't help but think that you are taking revenge,” said Clark.If they hadn't oppressed me then, it wouldn't have happened now. It wouldn’t have gotten to the point where I had to kill just to get revenge on them. I wish they had just befriended me, I wish they had just been kind to me. I am full of wishes and hopes but I couldn't do anything.
XIENNEAfter Nikolai said those words he left in front of me and left me. I hurried to follow him but he didn't look at me even when I called him, he just kept walking until he disappeared from my sight.I stopped walking. I went there and sat on a swing, there are no kids here now because all the kids are in school. It is fun maybe goes back to childhood, you care nothing but just playing with friends.I looked at the calm sky, clouds are seemed moving in one direction. I closed my eyes at wished for better days. Since I met my classmates, every day feels like hell. They made me feel like I don’t deserve to be in this world. Like I am some kind of trash. At first, I don’t have a clue why they treat me like that but I have realized that they are insecure about me, they envy me a lot because I can do something that they cannot do.I went here to study, to become a nurse in the future. I want to study at pe
XIENNEMonday morning, we were all quiet and waiting for the teacher to arrive when Cozy, one of my classmates, arrived. He seems like came from a fast run. He was breathing heavily now as he held his knees for support. We all looked at him with confusion.He looked nervous and at the same time, shocked. We waited for him to breathe normal and speak.When he calmed down he looked at all of us and what he said next surprised us all.“Clarisse! Clarisse hanged herself in her apartment!” he shouted. “Her body was found earlier this morning by her sister who was supposed to give her foods.”We all stood up because of his news. My eyes are wide, I cannot believe she can do that. Does she blame herself because of Rhiza’s death? I’m sure she really despise herself because of that. I looked around to see my classmates reactions, some of them are in the verge of crying. Some are silent, some are s
XIENNEA few days later, our lives returned to normal. Rhiza has been delivered to her final destination. I didn’t expect that I would cry. I didn't notice that my tears were already dripping for the woman I had no love for. She is not even my friend so why I am crying? That is the question I had in my mind. I immediately wiped away the tears that dripped from my eyes and left them all there to mourn for the dead.Their tears could not bring back the dead person. The dead woman can no longer see the sadness of the people she left behind. Why are they wasting tears? They just make themselves look stupid.Clarisse has not been in school since Rhiza was buried. No one was looking for her.I don't talk to my classmates because I don't have time to pretend kind and nice to them, they don't talk to me either so it's just fine with me. With the exception of Ace and Clark, they always approached me and talked to me but they never heard an answer from me. I was just q
XIENNEThe news about Rhiza spread like a wildfire the day after that said ‘incident’ happened. My classmates were shocked when they found out what happened. They mourned for her and they regretted not talking to her because they know that Rhiza has suicidal attempts since then.Clarisse was silent, our class was almost suspended because no professor showed to teach us. Maybe because they know that the student who committed suicide came from us.I just kept quiet while watching my classmates. What I did last night is still fresh in my mind. The guard immediately saw what had happened to her and reported it to the police. They immediately concluded suicide and no foul play occurred.They didn’t know that one of the students was responsible for why the pitiful Rhiza fell from the fifth floor. No one is talking to Clarisse now because most of them are blaming her for why Rhiza committed suicide. It was part of my plan, to make my classmates blame Clarisse. Funny
XIENNEI just saw myself crying while listening to Nikolai. What was happening in his life was too much pain for him. He really wanted to be free but he did not know how. He is still dependent on his parents and does not have enough money to start living alone. He could do nothing.As I could see the tears welling up in his eyes, it was as if my heart was being stabbed. There seems to be something light there and I don’t know what it is— something unusual. That feeling is new to me. I wanted to hug him but I couldn't move. I could clearly see the movement of his shoulder as he bent down, signaling that he was crying.I just let him cry until he got tired, it took him a few minutes before he finally stopped crying. He adjusted himself as if nothing had happened and smiled at me, he was smiling but his eyes were sad.“Thank you for listening. Your presence is enough to somehow cheer me up,” he spoke.“You're welcome. When you need someone to talk to, don'
XIENNEThat incident did not put me to sleep. I watched myself, afraid that when I opened my eyes, Beatrice and Samantha, who had been dead for almost a few months, were staring at me.I was just stunned in the bedroom while sitting, I was also shaking and I didn’t know what I was going to do to calm myself down. I had no friends to call, I was afraid they might call me crazy because I had the illusion that I was seeing Beatrice and Samantha.If I only knew this was going to happen to me, I would have just kept quiet and did not kill anyone. I wish I had just let them do to me what they wanted to do. I wish I hadn’t planned to retaliate, but I could do nothing. This is my destiny.I will still pursue my plans and nothing can stop me. This is my only option. I can't take back what I've done, I'll just continue.My cellphone rang. I picked it up trembling from the bed and looked at who was calling. Ace's name registers on the screen.I calmed myself