XIENNE
“Hey? Are you really going to be slow? Hurry up, we are hungry here! ”Clark shouted from their table.
I am here at the counter waiting for my order to be served or should I say, their orders. I did not bother to answer him. I waited patiently for the canteen staff to give me the food I ordered.
His shout was heard by many students. I am used to it. It is like their everyday routine to order me some things they can really do but chose to make someone do it for them. I'm still confused if it is still normal for a college student to act like a kid.
They made me as their laughing stuff. I can't fight back. I do not have enough courage to do that.
But that was before.
I can play them through my hands. I can make them dumb and fool. I can kill them.
Do all the things like this until they can because, in the end, I will make them beg.
They will call my name, not to order me, but to beg for me.
They better enjoy what they are doing now, they will not be able to do that next time.
"Here is your order, Xienne," said the canteen saleslady. I smiled at her because she was kind to me.
I took the two trays then walked slowly. They bought a lot of food. I still need to go back to the counter for another tray.
"Fuck,” I wailed, annoyed.
I stared at the idiot who bumped into me. “Are you not looking where you are going? Didn't you see me, huh? Be careful next time. Freaking idiot."
I looked at the scattered food on the floor I had been holding in my right hand earlier. I laid another tray on a table.
“Hey, Xienne! Did your mother just raise you to be a fool? ” Clark shouted as he approached. “You are so stupid and sluggish, We've been hungry for a while and then you will just throw away our food? Are you even thinking?”
I took a deep breath then stared him in the eye. “Did I throw it away? Fool! I did not throw it away intentionally. Someone bumped into me. Do you really go to college with having such kind of stupidity? Did your mother just raise you to be stupid?” I whimpered at him.
I saw the annoyance on his face. His jaw tightened then he shook his head slightly as if he could not believe what I said.
"Repeat what you have said!" said Clark. I stayed silent. "Repeat it!" he shouted.
I laughed in a way that will make him even angrier. “Which will I repeat? That, did you get to college with that level of stupidity of yours?’ I crossed my arms. “Where is the lie there? You can’t even reach the passing score of a quiz. Even the professors told you to drop their subjects because they feel that they're ineffective teachers. They think that you’re not learning from them no matter how good they are in teaching.”
"You are getting overboard, huh?" He was about to slap me but the man who bumped me stopped him.
Then I noticed that he was the man who talked to me the other day and called me creepy.
Now that I saw him clearly and closely enough to see his whole face, he is undeniably handsome.
"It's bad to hurt a woman, dude," he said.
“Who are you and why do you have the guts to interfere? Are you the boyfriend of this idiot? ” Clark waved his hand to loosen the hold of the man.
I shook my head and laughed at him. Clark looked away from the man and turned to me again.
"You know, Clark, I feel sorry for your parents," I said then I made a sad face. "They are wasting their money for you to go to school while you do nothing, you are a certified bully and gangster wannabe. You know, bullying is no longer a doing of a college student, it is a behavior of a five-year-old kid. But, anyway, your brain will pass for a kindergarten. ”
Those who heard laughed. "And I think, it's time for Lexy to know that you are just using her." I looked at her girlfriend who’s watching us.
Her forehead furrowed as if wondering what I had said. I looked at Clark again, his eyes widened.
“You wouldn’t like to mess with me, Xienne. You know the consequences,” he mumbled.
"As if I’m scared. I’m not scared anymore, Clark, ”I hissed. “I’m tired of being afraid of all of you. What should I be afraid of you? You’re just a weak person pretending to be brave by bullying others. You should be the one to be scared of me. You don’t know how I make moves. Checkmate, Clark. Be safe,” I said.
For the second time, I left them all confused. I saw Lexy stood up from her seat.
I hurriedly walk. I know Clark's girlfriend is following me. Dumb.
"What do you need?" I asked but did not worry to stop walking.
"What do you mean with what you had said earlier?"
I confronted her. “He’s using you. For lust, for money, for fame. Are you stupid? Didn’t you notice that? ” I rolled my eyes at her.
“You know what, I thought you were stupid and weak. But what you did earlier impressed me,” she said.
My forehead furrowed because of what he said. “Seriously? Now that you know he just used you, won't you be hurt at all or what? What I did earlier is really your concern, huh?”
Argh. It is not really nice if you have the looks but you do not have the brain.
She laughed. “Ah, that, it doesn't hurt. I just used him too. Though, I used him in times of my need as a woman. Lust, to be clear enough for you to understand. He used me for fame and money, I don't bother. I am not bothered. That is not a big deal for me.”
I smiled because of what she had said. This woman is weird. Like a fool.
"I'm planning to break up with him too." She added.
"Okay, if you say so." I turned my back on him and started walking again.
I failed to eat lunch because of Clark and that annoying guy whoever he is or whatever his name is.
“Come on, hey! I want to be friends with you!” Lexy shouted.
I thought she already left me alone.
I smiled demonically. "I don't want to."
"Ah, you are unbelievable!" She chased after me and held my arm. "Please. You're so cool."
I continued walking. She's still holding my right arm like I am going to escape from her.
Tsk, I have no plans to make friends. I’m an outcast here. Then, it is better to be careful. She might even know the things I was hiding.
“No,” I said firmly.
She pouted and blinked her eyes twice as if begging me. “Please? It's as if you already have a friend here. You are always alone.”
Yeah, she's right. No one dared to talk to me and make friends with me for real. A true friend who has a real and pure intention, I never had one.
I stopped walking. “You have a lot of friends. Why do you still want me to be your friend? Are you collecting?”
She laughed again. “No, just like Clark, they’re using me, too. And one of them is Clark's real girlfriend. Do you know Sheena? ” She rolled her eyes into the air. “She thought I was treating her as my best friend. Eww, no! They are both users. They are just good to be together. Both trash.”
I shouldn’t laugh but she already made me laugh.
"Probably, I know about that thing because they talk to you every day in class. They think you are a very stupid person,” I said. " Which was proven."
Lexy is the Governor's daughter. She's rich and famous here at the University so many students want to make friends with her to take advantage.
“So, are we friends now? I made you laugh earlier,” she said while smiling broadly.
“Tsk, fine,” I said.
Of course, I just said that to stop her bothering and following me
I don't want a burden in my life. She might just ruin the plans I made.
I found myself heading at the back of the University with this dumbhead. She hugged my arm like she's scared.
"What are we doing here?" She asked.
"I'll serve you to the wild animals to be their lunch for today. They haven't eaten yet since last week. I am worried about them, they might be very hungry and wants to eat human flesh for today," I seriously said.
No words came from her mouth even if it is wide open.
"Are you serious?"
"Do I look like I am joking?" I grabbed her hands and pulled her towards the tall grasses. She screamed. I hold my laughter.
After a few seconds of looking at her frightened face, I burst into laughter.
"Your face is priceless. HAHAHAHAHA. I regret not filming it."
Her eyebrows are subtle. She hit my arm with her hands. "You scared me, bitch."
"Suits yourself."
You should know where to place yourself.
XIENNEA sudden flashback came up to my mind.“You are beautiful, Xienne. But you know what? There is something with you that I didn't like,” said Samantha.I looked at her. Did she approach me in my sit to say that thing? However, I just looked at her. I did not speak. I do not dare to fight back on the things they do. I don't have the courage.She knew in herself that she could not get any answer from me. “You are also smart. There’s a lot of reasons to envy you. But you’re pathetic,” said Samantha.I will never retaliate. Because revenge is only for people with narrow brains, the capacity of the mind is small. I am not that low. I won’t stoop down on their levels.I was so annoyed when she hit my forehead with her index finger.“What? Won't you say anything? Say something. Make me mad,” she said. Emphasizing every word that comes from her fucking mouth.
XIENNEI went to the dirty sink of the house. There are no left things here. I saw gallons of water at the bottom of the sink. It's good so that I can wash my hands later.I heard the door slowly open. A smile flashed on my lips."Joshua?" said Samantha.I slowly uncovered my head by lowering the hood of the jacket then faced her. There was a look of shock on her face, she did not expect to see me."Surprise, bitch."My two hands are inside the pocket of the hoodie jacket. I am holding the knife inside. I gave her a demonic smile.“What are you doing here? Are you alone?” she asked.“Have you seen anyone else here besides me? No one, right? I'm just alone. Stupid.”His eyes narrowed. She crossed her arms. "I am expecting someone here."She stood u
XIENNE"Seriously, why do you look frustrated earlier? Is there something that happened to you?" asked Nikolai.We are still here outside of the mini grocery. Silenced enveloped the both of us for I did not answer his question. I looked at him, never breaking it. I examined his whole face that is undeniably handsome though he looks like someone who should not be trusted easily.“Nothing. I just have a very personal problem and I don't want to talk about it. Quit asking.”He shrugged his shoulders and got some chips and immediately put them inside his mouth. He chewed it too noisy that I found it so infuriating.I rolled my eyes. He then laughed which made the chunks inside his mouth go out.Yuck.“What's so funny? And can you please eat cleanly? You're so gross. At least, serve manners while eating,” I said.He wiped the excessed chunks of the
XIENNE“OH MY GOSH! SAMANTHAAAAA!!!” Jen shouted the moment we came here in the abandoned house.We came here with the police officials.The shock was evident in their faces. They could not say anything for they can not believe what happened to Samantha.She is almost unrecognizable. Her eyes are still wide open, looking at the ceiling. Some of my classmates vomited, even Clark. The stink of Samantha’s body is can not be accepted by our body system.“All of you, go out. We are going to take care of her body. And, Miss Jen, one of the detectives will ask you for some question regarding of her last words before she left you,” the Chief Police shouted that made us all leave the house.My classmates are all silent. Who would believe that their Dear Samantha will be found dead and almost unrecognizable.Samantha is pretty and my stabs made her face pretty bad. It i
XIENNE“What’s the update with Beatrice and Samantha’s death?” asked Lexy.I never thought she would be serious about being friends with me. She always shadows me wherever I am going. It’s been a week since Samantha’s death and they still plop Jen as the primary suspect which was good for me.“I don’t know. Beatrice’s case is close to being a case close. They can’t find any evidence which can point to someone as a suspect,” I answered. “Meanwhile, about Samantha, the officers are currently approaching Jen’s boyfriend if she’s really with him that the murder happened.”Lexy was constantly swaying her feet while we are sitting here on one of the benches in the Science garden. She turned her gaze up at me, examining my face.“I really admire your beauty and your wit,” she confided.She really does speak randomly.“Tsk, shut up, Lexy. Go back to your class, you might be
XIENNE“I think I like you, Xienne,” Clark whispered.I looked intently at his eyes, only to see sincerity with it. He smiled a little.Is it true? He really does like me?We are here at the back of the University, there are not many students here.I remained silent for his sudden confession bug me. Clark had been good to me since we were sophomores. Now, he’s confessing to me.I won’t deny it, I like him, too. He has the looks, nevertheless, I think I am just infatuated by his looks.“Can I court you?” he asked.I blinked my eyes, my mouth was hung open for I do not know what to say. He is waiting for my answer. I breathed heavily.“Uh! Clark, I will be honest to you, I have a huge crush on you but I do not think I can commit. Studying is my first priority and being in a relationship is the least. I’m sorry but I n
XIENNEDear Diary,Now I already have a plan on how will I kill Ace. Though my plan would be so hard to make it happen successfully I know it would be all worth it. I trust myself. I will seduce him and get his trust and attention then I will do my dirty little plan. Thinking of it gives me a huge excitement. Surely, killing him will give to me great satisfaction. But for now, I need to do my first step. It is befriending them all to earn their trust in me. I will play good and kind just like I was before. A good girl. I don’t care if they will abuse my kindness again, the most important thing is making them all stupid and then killing them all. No one dared to be good at me from them, and they deserve what I am going to them, D. Watch and I will make all my plans happen. Wait for it, D. That’s all for my entry today. Got to go!-XienneI closed my notebo
XIENNEIt’s getting dark but I am still here at the University. I am on the rooftop, breathing fresh air that gives a soothing feeling. Knowing the fact that maybe there’s only a few students, professors, or staff here in school left, did not give me fear. I would be really glad if I will know that I am the only one left here. Being alone somehow gives different comfort. You will have time to think, clearly and wisely.A felt someone from behind. However, I didn’t move. I just feel around. I waited for him or her to move or approach me. I wasn’t scared because he didn’t know what I could do to him.“Haven’t you come home yet? It’s getting late,” said Nikolai.I just looked at him, I did not speak. I sighed heavily. I thought I can be alone here just for today. I do not feel like interacting with anyone.
XIENNEI quietly followed George, it was four o'clock in the morning and he had just finished work at a convenience store. I don't know if he still sleeps well because he is a student during the day and works at night. He looks very drowsy based on his appearance and he doesn't seem to know anything around him. It will be morning but it is still dark. I was wearing a hoodie jacket and its hood covered my head. I also look everywhere to see if there are any CCTVs. I saw nothing but outside the convenience store he worked at and I tried not to went through the camera so they couldn’t see me.George entered an alley causing me to smile, there was only one house at the end, his house. I heard the news that George is an orphan, his parents died in an accident when he was in highschool. His parents was supposed to go to his graduation from work but could not make it after their car was hit by a ten wheeler truck. What a tragic.
XIENNEThree days after Sage’s accident, while we were quietly in class, George arrived. He just came in and now he wears his usual smile that is wide enough to see his complete set of teeth, it is as if there he has good news to tell us.“Sage was said to be awake last night, I went there before I came here. He was just stunned and looked so scared, he wanted to say something but he couldn’t say it because he was having a hard time,” he said.Our classmates were immediately thrilled to hear the news. While I'm sorry because Sage hasn't really died yet. Destiny does not want to be with me. Why haven't they died yet?Some of our classmates stood up and said they were going to visit Sage to the hospital today to say hello to him and ask. Didn't they understand what George said that man could not speak. I hope they let him rest first because they still have plenty of time to ask questions.C
XIENNEI looked at them annoyed because I knew they were accusing me. It is true that I killed two of my classmates but I did not killed the others. I am not the perpetrator of the accidents. I may really have the intention to retaliate, they are not wrong about that but they don't have to blame me for everything.“Why are you looking at me? Do you think that I am taking revenge on you and that I am responsible for everything?” I asked.“It is not like that, Xienne. We’re just thinking of possibilities. We never forget that we have done something wrong to you so we can't help but think that you are taking revenge,” said Clark.If they hadn't oppressed me then, it wouldn't have happened now. It wouldn’t have gotten to the point where I had to kill just to get revenge on them. I wish they had just befriended me, I wish they had just been kind to me. I am full of wishes and hopes but I couldn't do anything.
XIENNEAfter Nikolai said those words he left in front of me and left me. I hurried to follow him but he didn't look at me even when I called him, he just kept walking until he disappeared from my sight.I stopped walking. I went there and sat on a swing, there are no kids here now because all the kids are in school. It is fun maybe goes back to childhood, you care nothing but just playing with friends.I looked at the calm sky, clouds are seemed moving in one direction. I closed my eyes at wished for better days. Since I met my classmates, every day feels like hell. They made me feel like I don’t deserve to be in this world. Like I am some kind of trash. At first, I don’t have a clue why they treat me like that but I have realized that they are insecure about me, they envy me a lot because I can do something that they cannot do.I went here to study, to become a nurse in the future. I want to study at pe
XIENNEMonday morning, we were all quiet and waiting for the teacher to arrive when Cozy, one of my classmates, arrived. He seems like came from a fast run. He was breathing heavily now as he held his knees for support. We all looked at him with confusion.He looked nervous and at the same time, shocked. We waited for him to breathe normal and speak.When he calmed down he looked at all of us and what he said next surprised us all.“Clarisse! Clarisse hanged herself in her apartment!” he shouted. “Her body was found earlier this morning by her sister who was supposed to give her foods.”We all stood up because of his news. My eyes are wide, I cannot believe she can do that. Does she blame herself because of Rhiza’s death? I’m sure she really despise herself because of that. I looked around to see my classmates reactions, some of them are in the verge of crying. Some are silent, some are s
XIENNEA few days later, our lives returned to normal. Rhiza has been delivered to her final destination. I didn’t expect that I would cry. I didn't notice that my tears were already dripping for the woman I had no love for. She is not even my friend so why I am crying? That is the question I had in my mind. I immediately wiped away the tears that dripped from my eyes and left them all there to mourn for the dead.Their tears could not bring back the dead person. The dead woman can no longer see the sadness of the people she left behind. Why are they wasting tears? They just make themselves look stupid.Clarisse has not been in school since Rhiza was buried. No one was looking for her.I don't talk to my classmates because I don't have time to pretend kind and nice to them, they don't talk to me either so it's just fine with me. With the exception of Ace and Clark, they always approached me and talked to me but they never heard an answer from me. I was just q
XIENNEThe news about Rhiza spread like a wildfire the day after that said ‘incident’ happened. My classmates were shocked when they found out what happened. They mourned for her and they regretted not talking to her because they know that Rhiza has suicidal attempts since then.Clarisse was silent, our class was almost suspended because no professor showed to teach us. Maybe because they know that the student who committed suicide came from us.I just kept quiet while watching my classmates. What I did last night is still fresh in my mind. The guard immediately saw what had happened to her and reported it to the police. They immediately concluded suicide and no foul play occurred.They didn’t know that one of the students was responsible for why the pitiful Rhiza fell from the fifth floor. No one is talking to Clarisse now because most of them are blaming her for why Rhiza committed suicide. It was part of my plan, to make my classmates blame Clarisse. Funny
XIENNEI just saw myself crying while listening to Nikolai. What was happening in his life was too much pain for him. He really wanted to be free but he did not know how. He is still dependent on his parents and does not have enough money to start living alone. He could do nothing.As I could see the tears welling up in his eyes, it was as if my heart was being stabbed. There seems to be something light there and I don’t know what it is— something unusual. That feeling is new to me. I wanted to hug him but I couldn't move. I could clearly see the movement of his shoulder as he bent down, signaling that he was crying.I just let him cry until he got tired, it took him a few minutes before he finally stopped crying. He adjusted himself as if nothing had happened and smiled at me, he was smiling but his eyes were sad.“Thank you for listening. Your presence is enough to somehow cheer me up,” he spoke.“You're welcome. When you need someone to talk to, don'
XIENNEThat incident did not put me to sleep. I watched myself, afraid that when I opened my eyes, Beatrice and Samantha, who had been dead for almost a few months, were staring at me.I was just stunned in the bedroom while sitting, I was also shaking and I didn’t know what I was going to do to calm myself down. I had no friends to call, I was afraid they might call me crazy because I had the illusion that I was seeing Beatrice and Samantha.If I only knew this was going to happen to me, I would have just kept quiet and did not kill anyone. I wish I had just let them do to me what they wanted to do. I wish I hadn’t planned to retaliate, but I could do nothing. This is my destiny.I will still pursue my plans and nothing can stop me. This is my only option. I can't take back what I've done, I'll just continue.My cellphone rang. I picked it up trembling from the bed and looked at who was calling. Ace's name registers on the screen.I calmed myself