XIENNE
“I think I like you, Xienne,” Clark whispered.
I looked intently at his eyes, only to see sincerity with it. He smiled a little.
Is it true? He really does like me?
We are here at the back of the University, there are not many students here.
I remained silent for his sudden confession bug me. Clark had been good to me since we were sophomores. Now, he’s confessing to me.
I won’t deny it, I like him, too. He has the looks, nevertheless, I think I am just infatuated by his looks.
“Can I court you?” he asked.
I blinked my eyes, my mouth was hung open for I do not know what to say. He is waiting for my answer. I breathed heavily.
“Uh! Clark, I will be honest to you, I have a huge crush on you but I do not think I can commit. Studying is my first priority and being in a relationship is the least. I’m sorry but I n
XIENNEDear Diary,Now I already have a plan on how will I kill Ace. Though my plan would be so hard to make it happen successfully I know it would be all worth it. I trust myself. I will seduce him and get his trust and attention then I will do my dirty little plan. Thinking of it gives me a huge excitement. Surely, killing him will give to me great satisfaction. But for now, I need to do my first step. It is befriending them all to earn their trust in me. I will play good and kind just like I was before. A good girl. I don’t care if they will abuse my kindness again, the most important thing is making them all stupid and then killing them all. No one dared to be good at me from them, and they deserve what I am going to them, D. Watch and I will make all my plans happen. Wait for it, D. That’s all for my entry today. Got to go!-XienneI closed my notebo
XIENNEIt’s getting dark but I am still here at the University. I am on the rooftop, breathing fresh air that gives a soothing feeling. Knowing the fact that maybe there’s only a few students, professors, or staff here in school left, did not give me fear. I would be really glad if I will know that I am the only one left here. Being alone somehow gives different comfort. You will have time to think, clearly and wisely.A felt someone from behind. However, I didn’t move. I just feel around. I waited for him or her to move or approach me. I wasn’t scared because he didn’t know what I could do to him.“Haven’t you come home yet? It’s getting late,” said Nikolai.I just looked at him, I did not speak. I sighed heavily. I thought I can be alone here just for today. I do not feel like interacting with anyone.
XIENNEIt’s already midnight yet I still can not sleep. I am thinking if I could continue my plan to Ace. I know it would be really hard because I still need to make him fall in love with me first. I need to get his full attention, make him fall deeper and harder.Meanwhile, about Nikolai, I never thought he is a member of a fraternity. I just saw him as a weird and creepy guy, that’s all. Nothing much.I still can get off my mind what he had said to me before when I first saw him. He told me that he can see me. That he is watching me. Whatever the means about that, it really gives goosebumps to me.I am thinking that he is not just a normal guy. So I need to be careful around him. Who knows if he is stalking me? I know, I am too paranoid for thinking like that but I need to be extra careful.A text from someone pulled me back to reality. I did not waste any time and checked who it
XIENNEThe class started, it did not escape my peripheral vision by the way my classmates look at me. If I know, they are already doubting what is my relationship with Ace. They shouldn’t be. There is nothing between us and will never have. I hate him so much to be with him. It’s just that, I have a plan so I am being close with him.“What do you think about platonic love?” our professor asked, Miss Jensen.I raised my right hand. Our professor nodded which means I am already allowed to talk. I stood up and held my head up high.“You can love someone platonically, but it won't look the same as a relationship with a romantic subject oflove. Platonic love is the love we feel for our friends, peers, and our families. When we are in platonic love, we are connected deeply and have a special understanding of one another. Platonic relationships are often sacred. That&rsqu
XIENNEWhen I already found out the right words to say, I shook my head before speaking.“So you have a relationship?” I asked. “Rhiza and Clarisse?”Is this the reason why they are both willing to answer Miss Jensen’s question about the same-sex relationship because they have a relationship? Ugh, disgusting.“Xienne, let us explain first,” said Rhiza.“Explain what? I clearly understand what I saw. You do not need to explain,” I said.“X-xienne,” Clarisse stuttered. “Can you hide it? Can you please not say this to any one of our classmates? Please, I am begging you!” She started crying.Oh, darling, I can’t promise you that.I laughed when it already sank in. I never thought that these two has a relationship. I just saw them as friends and nothing romantic between them. I just know they are super close and they can’t be away from e
XIENNEI woke up the next morning having a headache. I did get enough sleep for something is bothering me. I have been through a lot since these past few weeks.This is not what I want for me. I just want to be a normal student and yet here I am, killing my own classmates. I mean, yes, they had never been good to me but is it enough reason to kill them?I just shook my head and think if I can go to school having a heavy head because of a headache. I wander my eyes around to see their faces hanging on the wall. They are all smiling like they are mocking me.Without any second thoughts, I stood up and went to the bathroom. I will go to school today. I will continue my plan no matter what happens.I took a quick shower, enough to cleanse my whole body. I did not make an effort to what would I wear for today. Just a simple one-inch above-the-knee dress that is color maroon. I partnered it with a w
XIENNEI go back to my seat and made myself busy. I did not bother to look at them again. After all, they are silent and no one is speaking. I only heard Rhiza crying.Clarisse doesn’t know how to console her girlfriend. Clark draw near me and stared at me blankly.“Is that true? Tell me you are only making up a story,” he said.I shook my head. “It isn’t a joke, Clark. As long as I don’t want to believe it too but I saw it my by two eyes, clearly.” I sighed. “Please know that I don’t want to make any conflicts but I think you all deserve to know it.”He nodded. “Yeah, I understand. It’s just that I can’t believe it.”I looked at Rhiza and Clarisse. The latter is rubbing Rhiza’s back and while Misty is in front of them, watching their every move.“What are you going to do now?” I asked. “Please do understand their situation, too. Maybe they really love each other.”Ace comes over us, too. They both sat in the chairs in front of me. Ace
XIENNE“You should have brought me to the hospital,” I said.He looked at me and scanned my condition. By the way, he looks at me, gave me an uncomfortable feeling.“Why? Do you think your condition is worst?” he asked. “I will bring you to the hospital.”I nodded. “That is much better than here. I think I will not get well soon if no one will take care of me. My condition needs further assistance.”I just don’t want anyone around here in my apartment. I have a lot of secrets hidden here. In my room. I am afraid he will need to enter that while taking care of me. I need to avoid that possibility.“I think so, too.” He went to my kitchen and drank water. “I will just call Lexy so she can fetch us here and bring you to the hospital.”I dismissed our discussion and just let him do what he said. He came out of my apartment. I feel the pain of my whole body. I can not move. They must wait for me to regain my strength and I will return to them. I
XIENNEI quietly followed George, it was four o'clock in the morning and he had just finished work at a convenience store. I don't know if he still sleeps well because he is a student during the day and works at night. He looks very drowsy based on his appearance and he doesn't seem to know anything around him. It will be morning but it is still dark. I was wearing a hoodie jacket and its hood covered my head. I also look everywhere to see if there are any CCTVs. I saw nothing but outside the convenience store he worked at and I tried not to went through the camera so they couldn’t see me.George entered an alley causing me to smile, there was only one house at the end, his house. I heard the news that George is an orphan, his parents died in an accident when he was in highschool. His parents was supposed to go to his graduation from work but could not make it after their car was hit by a ten wheeler truck. What a tragic.
XIENNEThree days after Sage’s accident, while we were quietly in class, George arrived. He just came in and now he wears his usual smile that is wide enough to see his complete set of teeth, it is as if there he has good news to tell us.“Sage was said to be awake last night, I went there before I came here. He was just stunned and looked so scared, he wanted to say something but he couldn’t say it because he was having a hard time,” he said.Our classmates were immediately thrilled to hear the news. While I'm sorry because Sage hasn't really died yet. Destiny does not want to be with me. Why haven't they died yet?Some of our classmates stood up and said they were going to visit Sage to the hospital today to say hello to him and ask. Didn't they understand what George said that man could not speak. I hope they let him rest first because they still have plenty of time to ask questions.C
XIENNEI looked at them annoyed because I knew they were accusing me. It is true that I killed two of my classmates but I did not killed the others. I am not the perpetrator of the accidents. I may really have the intention to retaliate, they are not wrong about that but they don't have to blame me for everything.“Why are you looking at me? Do you think that I am taking revenge on you and that I am responsible for everything?” I asked.“It is not like that, Xienne. We’re just thinking of possibilities. We never forget that we have done something wrong to you so we can't help but think that you are taking revenge,” said Clark.If they hadn't oppressed me then, it wouldn't have happened now. It wouldn’t have gotten to the point where I had to kill just to get revenge on them. I wish they had just befriended me, I wish they had just been kind to me. I am full of wishes and hopes but I couldn't do anything.
XIENNEAfter Nikolai said those words he left in front of me and left me. I hurried to follow him but he didn't look at me even when I called him, he just kept walking until he disappeared from my sight.I stopped walking. I went there and sat on a swing, there are no kids here now because all the kids are in school. It is fun maybe goes back to childhood, you care nothing but just playing with friends.I looked at the calm sky, clouds are seemed moving in one direction. I closed my eyes at wished for better days. Since I met my classmates, every day feels like hell. They made me feel like I don’t deserve to be in this world. Like I am some kind of trash. At first, I don’t have a clue why they treat me like that but I have realized that they are insecure about me, they envy me a lot because I can do something that they cannot do.I went here to study, to become a nurse in the future. I want to study at pe
XIENNEMonday morning, we were all quiet and waiting for the teacher to arrive when Cozy, one of my classmates, arrived. He seems like came from a fast run. He was breathing heavily now as he held his knees for support. We all looked at him with confusion.He looked nervous and at the same time, shocked. We waited for him to breathe normal and speak.When he calmed down he looked at all of us and what he said next surprised us all.“Clarisse! Clarisse hanged herself in her apartment!” he shouted. “Her body was found earlier this morning by her sister who was supposed to give her foods.”We all stood up because of his news. My eyes are wide, I cannot believe she can do that. Does she blame herself because of Rhiza’s death? I’m sure she really despise herself because of that. I looked around to see my classmates reactions, some of them are in the verge of crying. Some are silent, some are s
XIENNEA few days later, our lives returned to normal. Rhiza has been delivered to her final destination. I didn’t expect that I would cry. I didn't notice that my tears were already dripping for the woman I had no love for. She is not even my friend so why I am crying? That is the question I had in my mind. I immediately wiped away the tears that dripped from my eyes and left them all there to mourn for the dead.Their tears could not bring back the dead person. The dead woman can no longer see the sadness of the people she left behind. Why are they wasting tears? They just make themselves look stupid.Clarisse has not been in school since Rhiza was buried. No one was looking for her.I don't talk to my classmates because I don't have time to pretend kind and nice to them, they don't talk to me either so it's just fine with me. With the exception of Ace and Clark, they always approached me and talked to me but they never heard an answer from me. I was just q
XIENNEThe news about Rhiza spread like a wildfire the day after that said ‘incident’ happened. My classmates were shocked when they found out what happened. They mourned for her and they regretted not talking to her because they know that Rhiza has suicidal attempts since then.Clarisse was silent, our class was almost suspended because no professor showed to teach us. Maybe because they know that the student who committed suicide came from us.I just kept quiet while watching my classmates. What I did last night is still fresh in my mind. The guard immediately saw what had happened to her and reported it to the police. They immediately concluded suicide and no foul play occurred.They didn’t know that one of the students was responsible for why the pitiful Rhiza fell from the fifth floor. No one is talking to Clarisse now because most of them are blaming her for why Rhiza committed suicide. It was part of my plan, to make my classmates blame Clarisse. Funny
XIENNEI just saw myself crying while listening to Nikolai. What was happening in his life was too much pain for him. He really wanted to be free but he did not know how. He is still dependent on his parents and does not have enough money to start living alone. He could do nothing.As I could see the tears welling up in his eyes, it was as if my heart was being stabbed. There seems to be something light there and I don’t know what it is— something unusual. That feeling is new to me. I wanted to hug him but I couldn't move. I could clearly see the movement of his shoulder as he bent down, signaling that he was crying.I just let him cry until he got tired, it took him a few minutes before he finally stopped crying. He adjusted himself as if nothing had happened and smiled at me, he was smiling but his eyes were sad.“Thank you for listening. Your presence is enough to somehow cheer me up,” he spoke.“You're welcome. When you need someone to talk to, don'
XIENNEThat incident did not put me to sleep. I watched myself, afraid that when I opened my eyes, Beatrice and Samantha, who had been dead for almost a few months, were staring at me.I was just stunned in the bedroom while sitting, I was also shaking and I didn’t know what I was going to do to calm myself down. I had no friends to call, I was afraid they might call me crazy because I had the illusion that I was seeing Beatrice and Samantha.If I only knew this was going to happen to me, I would have just kept quiet and did not kill anyone. I wish I had just let them do to me what they wanted to do. I wish I hadn’t planned to retaliate, but I could do nothing. This is my destiny.I will still pursue my plans and nothing can stop me. This is my only option. I can't take back what I've done, I'll just continue.My cellphone rang. I picked it up trembling from the bed and looked at who was calling. Ace's name registers on the screen.I calmed myself