A Killer’s Diary

XIENNE

I can see you from behind

You can hear me in your mind

Now I know what is my favorite song. It always plays on my mind. There's something in the lyrics that urges me to kill. Kill everyone who degraded me.

"Will you stop singing that song? Creepy head," she said. No matter how hard she tries to be brave, I know she's afraid.

I laughed. What a pitiful creature? This is her last day, won't she make anything good? Say anything nice to me? She's facing her death now.

"Psychopath!" she shouted.

"Indeed, I am."

I licked the knife I am holding. I tasted the blood. It's tasty, I'm thirsty for it.

Run so fast as you can go

Time will catch you before you know

Yes, run until you can. Run as long as your feet can standstill. Hide, Beatrice. But I can't promise that she can hide well. There is nowhere she can go.

She ran. I still walked slowly. She can't escape. This is my payback time to those people who bullied me and degraded my well-being.

Are you afraid of the dark?

Are you scared?

Hi-hi

You know

I am you

Do not be afraid of the dark. Be afraid of what is in it. You never know, someone wants to kill you.

I was nice to them. They abused my pure and kind-hearted heart. I did nothing to them but pure kindness. I have the purest and good intention for all of them. They used me. 

I was taken for granted.

Is it bad if I will take vengeance? They say revenge is for the weak. No, revenge is for me and I am not weak like what they say. I am not the old Xienne, not anymore. They made me like this.

They wished they have been good to me before but it's already too late. Better wish and pray this is not their last day.

I am brave. Brave enough to kill.

Hi-hi

I'm coming closer

Lalalalalalalala

I will catch you

Hum-hum, hum-hum

The time, it goes

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

Hi-hi-hi

I walked and walked. There is no other door here except the entrance door. It is way too far from here now.

I saw her panicking because she's trapped. There is nowhere she can go.

"Any last words, my darling?" I asked.

"Bitch, you'll gonna pay for this," she said, crying.

Pity.

"To whom am I gonna pay? They don't know anything. Only you. Well, you don't have any chance to spill this to anyone. This is your last day, your last minute," I muttered. "I will kill you."

I stepped closer to her. Brace yourself.

Her knees trembled and she sat on the ground. Arms crossed to her body as if she's using it to protect herself. Tsk, stupid.

"No, Xienne. No! I'm sorry for what I've done to you." This is her now, begging me. 

"Darling, it's already too late. You are one of the reasons why I became like this. You all made me like this. I don't even like myself now because I know this isn't me. But what can I do? I want to take revenge," I am already crying.

"I am really sorry. Forgive me, Xienne. Don't do this to me."

There's no pity left in me. I shook my head. Stepped closed and closer to her. I saw her trembling.

"See you in hell, Beatrice," I said.

I stabbed her in her chest. I lost count on how many times I stab her. All I know, she's no longer breathing. While stabbing the knife at her, I am crying. This isn't me. What happened to me? I made my hands dirty. 

Her eyes are still open. Looking at me with tears on it.

However, there was joy in my heart.

This is my vengeance for those who stepped on me.

I can't wait to write this in my diary.

•••

I felt sadness in our class today. Beatrice's death is probably felt. They are all mourning her death not knowing the killer is one of their classmates.

I secretly smiled. They are unlikely to suspect me because they say, I am lame and weak. That was me before. They would not want to know and meet the new me. They will be scared, I know.

They will certainly not suspect me of evil. They see me as a good person who could not commit any mistake and sin.

This is just the beginning. I will take you all one by one. This is my payback.

“Can you believe it? She was with us yesterday, happy and alive. She's is still having fun bullying Xienne,” said one of my classmates.

I innocently looked at all of them who were looking at me now. I pretended to be sad but deep inside I was already laughing at their faces. They are all funny. Stupid heads!

"Whoever did that to our friend, she or he will pay," said Clark. "I will never let this pass."

I rolled my eyes.

Says who that you’ll catch me?

I remember what I wrote in my diary just last night.

Dear Diary,

Hi, D. Guess what? I already killed Beatrice. The first on the list I will kill. I wanted to laugh at her earlier, she thought I was crazy. Though, she called me a psychopath. I'm not crazy! She is the crazy one. What does she think? I will feel sorry for her, I'll show pity on her? They did not feel sorry for me before. I begged them several times to stop bullying and degrading me, but what? They did not stop. I am not even satisfied with what I did to sister Beatrice. I wish I hadn’t stopped stabbing her until her heart came out. She woke up to death. 

Her eyes are still open. Can she see the joy on my face while stabbing him? It would not have been like this, D, if they had stopped me with her henchmen. I will write the next target on my list. When I'm not busy, I need to review for Prelims first. You know, I study hard. I will play innocent first as of now. I killed Beatrice cleanly, and no evidence can point that I am the one who killed her. What if, I put a twist, D? Like, blame the other innocent people for what I have done? HAHAHAHAHA. That's a good idea. For now, I'll think about how I can do that. Till next time again, when I already killed anyone from them. Wait for me, okay? Mwah!

Xienne

I couldn't help but laugh. Everyone looked at me with confusion in their eyes.

"Crazy," said Misty.

"Indeed, I am." My voice became fierce. Oh, my gosh! I forgot I was playing dumb and innocent. "Just kidding." Some girls rolled their eyes at me. They will stop doing that once I grab it using my dirty little fingers.

"Nothing's funny," Clark said. His big voice was annoyed and loud. “You’re probably happy with what happened to Beatrice, right? Admit it. Finally, your bullies became less so you laughed."

I looked at him. Turn to show them my other personality.

“So what now if I am happy with her death? What do you want me to do? Mourn with you? HAHAHAHAHA. I won’t. It is totally fine for me with what happened to her. She deserves to die! ” 

They are all looking at me, surprised by what I have said. They thought I could not fight them but they are all wrong.

I stood up and I left them all dumbfounded. I’m sure they won’t accuse me.

They see me as too weak.

I went to the back of the university. Where students won't go because apart from being a bit thick or having tall grasses, the ambiance is scary. Students are too scared that there are wild animals here and will attack them anytime.

And there is this feeling that someone is looking right behind you. It gives a chill down my spine. The ambiance here is giving me an uneasy feeling. I always had goosebumps but I still choose to ignore it.

I always go here whenever I want to get away from them.

I approached an old tree and sat at its root. I am far from the quadrangle now but I can still see a few students walking. Some of them are talking, some are gracefully laughing, and some are alone sitting at the benches.

“Hey, creep. What are you doing here? "A tall man appeared somewhere. His color was pale. Enough to make him look like a vampire. 

Nah, vampires don't exist.

I stared at him intently. His round eyes seemed to be covered with eyeliner which suited him. His eyebrows were thick. Has a sharp nose and thin lips. Brown is the color of his eyes. A few strands of his hair covered his left eye.

His ear was full of piercings.

How come I don’t see him always here at the University. Is he a new student? Probably not, we're near the end of the first semester. Maybe he's a ghost.

Yeah, crazy. 

“Nothing,” I answered. “And don’t call me creepy as if you know me. You look creepy, too. ”

He let out a crisp laugh. "If you say so." He turned his back at me and slowly walked away while waving his hand, bidding goodbye. "I am watching you."

What does he mean he’s watching me?