you re so old jokes one liners

Alpha Lucas - My brothers and I wanted nothing to do with her. She was a freak and was just good enough for our pranks and bullying. It's been that way since mid-school, junior high, and now, senior high. When the full-moon night came for us to choose a mate, the moon Goddess got a little tipsy and made her my mate. I rejected her on the spot and that was the last time we ever saw the freak. But seven years later, she found her way back to us. We saw her rocking a stripper pole, and she wasn't the freak anymore. She was a bloody, sexy stripper. And now, I'm at war with my brothers for who really have dibs on her… EMILY - I was a victim of bullying, mistreatment, and abuse. The Alpha brothers wouldn't let me be. And the night I thought I'd find a mate who'd protect me from them, turned into a nightmare. I was mated to Alpha Lucas, and he rejected me. I fled Bloodhound Pack with a bleeding heart. But five years later, the brothers crawled back into my life, begging to own me. Each one of them would wager anything just to have me forever. What an irony! Never did I see this twist coming… —------------------------------------------------ When Emily Lopez finds herself caught between the Alpha brothers, what would her ultimate decision be? String them along, play with their hearts like they played with hers, or settle for one and let the others go? Maybe the first option would be ideal, after all, they all had a good size between their legs, and she always gets wet staring at them.

Saraswati Mahiswara atau yang akrab disapa Saras, seorang gadis yang mempunyai masalah dengan tiap laki-laki yang menyatakan perasaan cinta dengan tulus. Pasalnya, setelah itu mereka akan menghilang tanpa kabar. Saras bertemu dengan Brian, sang senior yang punya kesan dingin dan kasar yang tidak mampu mengekspresikan perasaan sesungguhnya. Love in the first sight yang tadinya ia anggap klise, menyerangnya. Pesona Brian menenggelamkannya pada pandangan pertama. Saat itu, ia bertekad untuk lebih mengenal Brian. Dengan bantuan Radit, sahabatnya, dan juga Sekar, sang senior baik hati yang diam-diam menyimpan rahasia, membantu Saras untuk lebih mengenal Brian. Harapannya hanya satu, jika mereka benar-benar ditakdirkan bersama, Saras berharap Brian tidak menyatakan perasaan cintanya. Agar ia tidak menghilang seperti para laki-laki sebelumnya. Namun, siapa sangka nyatanya Brian tenggelam dalam perasaan kelam, yang menyangkut masa lalunya, sejak lama.

5 tahun berlalu mereka bertemu kembali, bukan sebagai teman lama melainkan menjadi musuh!. Wei selalu menjadi sosok yang sempurna baginya, meski kini Wei telah berubah. Katanya cinta pertama tak tergantikan, meski waktu berlalu namun masih terasa membekas. Begitu pula perasaan Zhang Meng Qi terhadap Wei zilian. Serangkaian kejadian manis dan berbagai konflik terjadi diantara mereka. Ketika Zhang Meng Qi mengetahui trauma Wei berhubungan dengannya, apakah ia akan menyerah? Di tengah konflik yang terjadi Zhang Meng Qi terlibat dalam cinta segi 4 . Kalian team mana? Wei cinta pertama vs David pahlawan kegelapan?

Ang pamilya Tengco ay may dalawang anak na babae. Ang kanilang bunsong anak na babae. Si Brianna Tengco, ay kilala sa kanyang kagandahan. May tsismis na hindi mailarawan ang ganda niya. Gayunpaman, ang panganay na anak na babae ng pamilya Tengco, si Heile Tengco, ay may mababang IQ mula noong siya ay bata pa at nagsimula lamang siyang magsalita noong siya ay anim taong gulang. Itinuring siya ng kanyang mga magulang bilang isang pasanin habang tinatrato siya ng labas ng mundo bilang isang katatawanan. Gayunpaman, walang nakakaalam na si Heile ay may tunay na kakaibang katalinuhan na nahuling nabuo. Pagkatapos, nabuntis si Heile sa hindi malaman dahilan. Apat na buwan sa kanyang pagbubuntis, pinilit siya ng kanyang mga magulang na pakasalan ang pinakamayamang lalaki sa City, ang pamilyang Bueno. Ang mga usapan ay ang kanyang asawa ay isang matandang lalaki na paralisado sa kama mula noong edad na walo. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, nang magpakasal si Heile sa pamilya Bueno, nalaman niyang hindi lang matanda ang kanyang asawa, guwapo rin ito. Siya ang Young Master ng pamilya Bueno na hinangaan ng lahat— si Kerr Bueno.

Alexander a wealthy bad boy falls in love with his maid, Bella, and starts to change. But their love is threatened by an opposition, Sophia who wants to marry Alexander for the sake of his wealth. She manipulates her way to marry Alexander by blackmailing him with his awful past, but his heart still remains with his true love, Bella. Now, Alexander has to strive to get rid of Sophia and reunite with his love.

Hindi inasahan ni Laura na may epekto pa rin sa kanya si Lance makalipas ng mahigit isang taon na hindi nila pagkikita. Napagtanto niya iyon nang muli silang magkita sa wedding rehearsal ng mga kaibigan nila at nang masundan pa ang mga pagkikita nila. Hindi man naging opisyal ang relasyon nila, si Lance ang unang lalaking totoong minahal niya pero bigla na lamang na naputol ang komunikasyon nila. Nalaman na lamang ni Laura na inagaw nito ang girlfriend ng best friend nito. Sinubukan ni Laura na iwasan si Lance dahil siguradong magugulo lang nito ang maayos niyang buhay kapag muli silang nagkalapit. Pero hindi siya nagtagumpay dahil tila sinasadya ng pagkakataon na magkasama sila. Eventually, Lance asked her for a second chance. Pumayag naman si Laura. Ang akala niya ay wala na silang magiging problema, pero natuklasan niya ang malaking kasalanan na nagawa sa kanya ni Lance.

Paul Henry had to be discharged from the army due to paralysis of his legs, half a year his temper was not very good, so Grandpa Dylan Henry wanted Paul to get married so that he could feel a little happier. Fiona also ran to find Paul because of this news, he said he wanted her to help him get out of here. Without thinking, she agreed. Paul was brought home by Fiona to provide accommodation and meals. Although it is very difficult to earn money to support him, she feels a love that she has never had before. Paul wants to go abroad to treat his feet, before leaving he just leaves her a piece of paper. When Fiona came home from work to find him gone, life became as dark as before meeting him. She was angry and didn't want to talk to him, Paul had to comfort her for a long time before she could forgive him.

Si Ysabella ay isang cloistered nun, ang babaeng mas pinili ang mamuhay sa apat na sulok ng monesteryo at ilaan ang buhay sa pagsamba at paglilingkod ng tahimik sa Diyos. Napakasaya niya at ilang araw na lamang ay matutupad na ang pangarap niyang maging ganap na perpetual cloistered nun, ngunit hindi niya inaasahan ang bilaang pagbisita ng kanyang nag-iisa at nakakatandang kapatid. Inamin nitong miyembro ng organisyon ng mga mafia at siya ay pinaparatangang nagtraidor sa grupo kaya kailangan nitong umalis at magtago. Nagmakaawa itong proprotektahan niya ang kanilang mga magulang sa maaring gawin ng grupo sa kanilang pamilya kung kayat napilitan siyang lumabas sa monesteryo. Hindi niya akalaing ganun kasama ang sinalihang grupo ng kanyang kapatid lalong lalo na ang pinuno na si Eric Madrigal na walang awang basta na lamang kumikitil ng buhay sa kanyang harapan. Sa galit nito sa kanyang kapatid ay puwersahan siyang inilayo sa kanyang pamilya upang pagbayaran ang kasalanan ng kapatid. Ano kaya ang naghihintay na kapalaran ni Ysabella sa kamay ng pinakamasamang mafia boss sa buong daigdig? Makakabalik pa kaya siya sa monesteryo?

When her best friend,Ella is still hopeful for love after yet another heartbreak, twenty three year old Robyn teams up with her hot childhood friend Beau Marks to prove to Ella that Love and destiny are not real, just bedtime stories. This couldn't possibly be a recipe for disaster.How far will these three go to prove a point? Will friendship survive? Can Ella give up her idea of love? See who gets hurt the most......

Eunisa witnessed how her parents cheated each other, she knows that a broken glass can still be fix but not the way it used to be, the more you want to assemble together the more you realize how messy and broken it is. She met Dominique, her bestfriend. Naging sandalan niya Si Dominique sa lahat ng kalungkutan niya. Dominique will always be her silent lover. Pero alam naman yang hindi niya pag-aari si Dominique habang-buhay. Pero paano pagnakita niya si Dominique na may kasamang iba sa pinakapangit na pagkakataon. She knows her place very well. It always be a red flag, like what in the rules to the stop light. Red means stop or if she won't then she'll be doom forever.