you re so old jokes one liners

From two different worlds. They are both broken and yet they peiced both their broken halfs to form a heart. Didn't they know love wasn't made for them ? They knew but yet they fell for each other. Quinn Fields is a young clumsy lieutenant returning to the police force after cutting all ties from her abusive ex. She moves on renting a quiet apartment in Portland and works hard volunteering non stop so she can get promoted. On a night patrol she contacts a handsome stranger who was bruised and unconscious, being the generous and naive young woman she is, she takes him back to her apartment and cleans his wounds and the next morning the stranger is gone. Two weeks later she comes in contact with AXE-L one of the notorious and dangerous uprising gangsters. The leader of the gang is none other than the man she shared her kindness to and he returned her kindness with a gun pointed to her head.

One Passionate Night Katarina was devasted after seeing her boyfriend, f**king other woman and pushing her away. Thinking that for many years that they spend together, Dark only seen her as someone that he can't f**k. But little did she know that she's being desired all the time, by a guy who's breaking in into her house, watching every inch of her movements. What will happen if Katarina knew that the man she used to rely on is the man who's following her all the time?

May pag-asa pa ba na maging makatotohanan ang pag-ibig kung isa na lamang ang kumakapit sa relasyon? Paano kung ang pag-ibig ay ipinilit lamang? You can’t force someone to love you back. Love should not be taken for granted. A tragedy should be utilized as a steppingstone to become stronger— a source of strength. No matter what kind of challenges you may face, how painful your experience…you should stand firmly. The storm shall pass, too Lorie loves Lander so much, to the point that she puts Lander first in everything. Lander is her heaven even though she is his hell. Pinangako niya sa sarili niya na mamahalin niya si Lander hanggang sa huling hininga niya. But, will someone like Lander who doesn’t believe in love be able to open his heart and let Lorie in and accept her wholeheartedly? Lander hates Lorie down to his core. He thinks it's all Lorie's fault why all his dreams and plans were ruined. Marrying Lorie is just a big delusion. That's why Lander swears to himself thathe would feel nothing for Lorie but hatred and he would do anything to get Lorie out of his life.

Fanya yang merupakan gadis berumur 25 tahun, harus merelakan kehidupannya saat Atmaja mengirimnya sebagai tumbal. Hidup di tengah-tengah pria mengerikan, yang akan siap mengunyahnya hidup-hidup. Hingga kata kabur, terasa begitu indah saat itu terucap dari mulutnya. Tapi ternyata tidak, takdir membawanya masuk lebih dalam lagi. Lagi, dan lagi. Ternoda dengan sebuah ikatan suci. Membutakan matanya, saat orang yang berstatus sebagai suami, menjeratnya dengan rantai tak kasat mata. Hidup dengan segala tekanan yang membuatnya kebal dengan semua itu. Sampai Fanya menemukan titik lelah, dan melepaskan segalanya. Dan seorang Regan Erlando, tidak akan mengerti arti kata pertemuan, sebelum menyadari kata perpisahan.

Aisyahzaara adalah gadis remaja broken home yang selalu hidup menderita semenjak berusia 12 tahun setelah ibu kandungnya meninggal dan sang Ayah memilih untuk menikah lagi. Tumbuh tanpa kasih sayang, membuatnya ingin mencari sebuah pelampiasan. Hingga saat usianya 17 tahun, ia memutuskan untuk menjadi sugar baby dari pria dewasa. Namun, pria yang menjadi secret Daddy untuknya, ternyata memiliki sebuah rahasia besar yang mengubah seluruh hidupnya. Akankah Aisyahzaara berhasil mendapatkan hal yang dicarinya? Ataukah hidupnya akan semakin menderita?

Charlotte's husband has become the CEO of Strauss Asset Investments. Only good things can happen, right? Well, that's what she thought. On the same night, she caught her husband cheating on her with her best friend. The following day, she was wrongfully accused of her grandparents' death, leading to her unjust imprisonment. The two people she loved disposed of her like she was nothing but trash. Not only that, they took everything from her! Her last days of comfort came from a man whose love she had rejected in the past. Because of his help, she wanted to live again, but it was too late… or so she thought. In an unexpected twist, the wheel of fate turned in her favor, and Charlotte was given a second chance. This time, she will protect her grandparents and make her enemies pay! More importantly, this time, she swore to love Mister Wright. *** “I want to marry you, Liam," Charlotte said to the man who had secretly loved her for years. Liam's lips rounded. He asked, "Do I have a say in this matter?" "You don't want to?" Charlotte asked back. "I - didn't - say that," he replied. When the man finally agreed to marry her, she said, "Thank you, Liam. I promise you, this time around, I will love you." Please, follow me on social media. Search Author_LiLhyz on IG or FB. I would love to hear from everyone again!

"Don't make me do this, Iris." The muscles in his arms tensed a kilowatt as he clenched his fists into a tight ball. I could feel the primal strength they exuded, and the slutty urge to be subdued roughly by them simmered between the cream of my lower lips. I slammed my lips roughly against his, drawing in a long noisy kiss to make his shaft budge against my lower abdomen. "Show no mercy." Iris Sawyer was forced to navigate her path through a supernatural world of angst and brute force. Stuck between a protracted pack war, she soon realized her survival depended on the side she took, or to use correctly, the kiss she accepted. In her quest to find an escape from the emotional turmoil of losing her parents at a tender age, she met Gustav, the Alpha from the Grey Moon Pack, who was mated to her by the Moon Goddess. Hell was a mild euphemism to describe the horror she met at the Grey Moon Pack. But as fate would redirect her steps, she met with the charming Lycan king from Crescent pack, Ludovic, Gustav's worst enemy. Gustav and Ludovic happen to be caught in a dark web of hatred for each other, and Iris was beginning to be another bone of contention between them. Will Iris be able to follow her heart and roost where it feels more secure? Will she be able to stand strong as she finds answers to all the questions plaguing her mind? Will love prevail in the end, or will blood settle the score?

After receiving a divorce paper from her husband, six months after their marriage. Lisa tried to make their marriage work but was shattered by her husband’s affair with her cousin. Feeling betrayed and broken, she left to start all over. Six years later she becomes the most powerful woman in the underworld and a genius Doctor in the outside world. What will she do when she finds out the mafia who kidnapped her son for ransom to lure her to come and save the life of his dying fiancé is no other person but her Ex husband? Will she put aside her hatred towards the two and save her cousin’s life? or watch her die? Will she forgive her Ex husband for kidnapping his own son **** Trey Collins a ruthless, domineering and powerful CEO in the business world and a ruthlessly merciless man, who wouldn’t blink at the idea of murder, torture and making one disappear from the face of the earth without a trace in the underworld. Every lady in Pearl city dreams to become his wife, but also terrified of him by his powerful and deadly aura. Trey married Lisa just to spite his girlfriend, Valerie. After getting back together with his girlfriend, he asked for a divorce from his wife Lisa, but she refused to sign it. But when she signed the divorce papers, he was surprised but feigned nonchalance. He thought she didn’t want to let him go, he thought she would beg. But why does everything remind him of her after she left? He thought he wanted her out of his sight and life? No! He must reclaim what is his and his alone!!

Do you realize you just played with fire?” He asked in a deadly tone but Maya was too drunk to know what was going on. “Yh, and I loved the heat.” She replied drunkenly, wrapping her hands around his neck. “You’re going to regret this when you sober up,” he said, trying to peel her off him but she pouted and shook her head like a five year old whiles settling on his lap more comfortably. At least, comfortable for her not him because he was having a hard time controlling his little guy down there. “I need you to show me all the fire you possess, handsome,” she says before giving him a chaste kiss on his lips. **** Maya’s world came crushing when she finds her fiancé in bed with another woman. Out of sadness, she goes to a bar that same evening to drink her sorrows away. What happens when an out of control drunk Maya ends up on the laps of a cold hearted CEO. A dark night, series of misunderstandings, a contract, what happens after she sobers up and realizes what mess she has gotten into. Will she succeed in thawing the cold CEO and make him a bit soft and gentle? He tasted her and now he feels addicted. If her lips and innocent kiss could make him feel this way then what if he went further? What would happen to him if he crossed the forbidden gates. He’s been with a lot of women but no one has made him feel this way. He feel the walls he has built around him crack and his stone cold heart thaws whenever he’s with her. He wants her and would do anything to to have her and make her his.

Mendapatkan misi membunuh anak seorang Billionaire, merupakan tugas biasa untuk Sergio Blanco. Bagi seorang Sergio Blanco kehidupan manusia tidaklah penting. Terlalu banyak sampah yang hidup di dunia ini. Membunuh bisa membuatnya membersihkan sampah-sampah dunia. Akan tetapi, misi yang didapatkan Sergio tidak bisa berjalan mulus ketika dia tahu bahwa targetnya adalah wanita yang memiliki mata berwarna Hazel. Tatapan mata teduh yang membuatnya terpaku. Hazel Afford membenci sosok Sergio Blanco. Berawal jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama, namun semua lenyap di kala dia tahu identitas Sergio yang merupakan seorang pembunuh bayaran. Hal yang Hazel lakukan jika kembali bertemu dengan Sergio adalah berlari menjauh. Tapi, sepertinya kondisi sekarang tidaklah mudah. Wanita cantik itu terjebak di dalam sebuah permainan panas yang telah menjeratnya. Bagaimana kisah Sergio dan Hazel? Mampukah Sergio menjalankan misinya? *** Follow me on Instagram: abigail_kusuma95