you're so old jokes

"Kakak, I love you. I love you as a woman loves a man. Kakak ngerti maksudku, 'kan?" kata Arinda pada Elang.

How will you feel when you end up with the same person you were trying to find an escape from? How will you feel when you end up in a one-night stand with your Ex-husband? Her eyes fluttered as she felt the morning cool breeze brushing against her bare body, which was semi-covered with a quilt. Although her eyes felt heavy to even blink, her other senses were high alert. She could hear the bird chirping outside the windows, she could smell a familiar masculine cologne, her body covered with goosebumps with the presence of someone familiar, and her heart beats rapidly on its own accord. That's when her brain registered her surroundings and could recollect her last passionate night with someone who would be her soon-to-be ex-husband. How? When? Why? She mentally slapped herself, but then she couldn't hide the contentment. She felt as if she was complete now. She couldn't stop but feel happy again. Why? Why does she feel like falling in love again? "I see you are still the w***e you were back then," his words broke her little dream she just thought of. "A desperate woman like you, who can with her ex-husband, can no wonder w***e around any men." He said with no remorse. "I did the right thing by divorcing you. How much do you charge for a night?" he smirked, looking at her teary face. "Here! Take extra 200 bucks for the sake of our old times." She vowed never to cry in front of her husband, but what he said just now shattered her soul beyond repair. Her quivering body and hollow eyes didn't hide the agony she felt at that very moment. "Sorry for loving you."

They say there is a fine line between love and hate, but where does one end and the other begin? When does something so pure become something so toxic that even you yourself cannot fathom when things changed? This story starts on the day that my parents were killed. That was the day that I felt like my entire life had ended. If only I knew then that it was only the beginning of the storm I would be made to endure. Struggling to grasp onto the threads of my unraveling life, I found comfort in the arms of someone I didn't truly know. His dangerously handsome looks and his lethal allure consumed me, and, despite my every instinct, I fell. He became my world, the very air I needed to breathe, the only one that I thought I could rely on... but then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed. When the truth of my very existence and reality was revealed, he cast me aside and lit my world ablaze, leaving me to burn in the flames of his hatred. Even then, we were still intertwined together by one fate. My name is Yileyna De'Lacor, and this is my story. For updates, character aesthetics and more follow me on author.muse on IG and author muse on

The things we want are so very rarely the things we need. Clifton Heights, a modest Adirondack town, offers many unique attractions. Arcane Delights sells both paperbacks and hard-to-find limited editions. The Skylark Diner serves the best home-cooked meals around, with friendly service and a smile. Every August, Mr. Jingo’s County Fair visits, to the delight of children and adults. In essence, Clifton Heights is the quintessential small American town. Everyone knows everyone else, and everyone is treated like family. It is quiet, simple, and peaceful. But shadows linger here. Flitting in dark corners, from the corner of the eye. If you walk down Main Street after dark, the slight scrape of shoes on asphalt whispers you're not alone, but when you look over your shoulder, no one is there. The moon shines high and bright in the night sky, but instead of throwing light, it only seems to make the shadows lengthen. Children disappear. Teens run away. Hunters get lost in the woods with frightening regularity. Husbands go mad, and wives vanish in the dead of night. And still, when the sun rises in the morning, you are greeted by townspeople with warm waves and friendly smiles, and the shivers pass as everything seems fresh and new... Until night falls once more. Handy's Pawn and Thrift sits several blocks down from Arcane Delights. Like any thrift store, its wares range from the mundane to the bizarre. By daylight, it seems just another slice of small town Americana. But in its window hangs a sign which reads: We Have Things You Need. And when a lonely traveling salesman comes looking for something he desperately wants, after normal visiting hours, after night has fallen, he will face a harsh truth among the shelves of Handy’s Pawn and Thrift: the things we want are rarely the things we need. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

Empty vessels make the most noise, and men who fit that description to a tee hardly make for suitable partners. When Corinne had to go on a blind date with someone like that, she did the unthinkable simply to show her disinterest in him—she kissed a handsome older man whom she had never met before. "I hereby pledge myself to you," the older man vowed. If a single kiss from her was all it took for him to devote himself to her, would a second kiss entail much more? There was only one way for Corinne to find out…

"Where will you hide, doll?" His deep raspy voice resonated in an empty, dark classroom. Her heart thudded in her ears. Her feet involuntarily moved back, shoulders shrinking in fear as he took threatening steps towards her like a predator. "N-no..." She stuttered, chin-wobbling, lips trembling. The certainty of her being alone in the presence of this beast-like man had her legs going jello. Emma was scared. So damn scared. "You can't deny me, Belle. I'm your mate. You're fucking mine!" He growled. * Emma Belle Richardson is a 17-year-old nerd who dedicates herself to schoolwork and books rather than socializing. She doesn't have any friends and is an outcast. She has more to her than anyone can imagine. She prefers to stay under the radar, but what happens when she'll catch the eyes of the man who will cause catastrophe in her peaceful life. Xander Colt is a 27-year-old mysterious man with extremely good looks. There was nothing known about him. The Greek God-like man with sharp green eyes, and dark tattoos, who could easily be considered a top-notch model or a beast-like warrior came as a mathematics teacher in the middle of a semester. Strange wasn't it! Naive girl Alpha male Erotica Hot Romance Student and Teacher Werewolf Warning ️ 18+

There's about half a month to our wedding when Daniel Bradshaw and I get into a horrible fight. The reason? He wants to have a child with his mentor's daughter. "We're only going to do IVF—it's not like we're doing anything else! My mentor is gravely ill now, and his only wish is to see Phoebe have someone she can rely on!" Daniel sounds indifferent, but my blood runs cold. "It's half a month to our wedding, yet you're going to have a child with another woman. Don't you find that ridiculous?" I watch as he storms off and slams the door shut behind him. Then, I update my social media. "I'm getting married in half a month, but I need a new groom. Is anyone up for it?"

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK FIVE ~ *If you haven't read books 1-4, I highly recommend starting the series with Alpha Gray and reading the prior books in order (Gray, Theo, Jax, Brock) for context before starting this one* REID : I've always exercised complete control in all things. When it comes to my pack, I'm in control as its Alpha. In everyday life, I follow a schedule and value structure and discipline. My friends think I stick too close to the rules, but maintaining order and being in control are the key things that keep me grounded. That's part of the reason why the wait for my fated mate has been so frustrating- because it's the one thing I have no control over. And when I finally meet her, I quickly realize she's equally as uncontrollable, as is the bond between us. I've been waiting all my life for Serena, but when she shows up on the eve of a war, can I really trust her? And if so, will I ever be able to conquer her chaos? ~ SERENA : They say life is full of choices, but mine were stripped from me the moment my pack was attacked and my family was killed. Since then, I've been on autopilot, just doing what I have to do to survive. That is, until the last thing I expect to happen, does; I stumble upon my fated mate. I suddenly have a choice again- give in to the mate bond between Reid and I, or risk losing it all. Can I trust him with my secrets, and can he handle them? Once he knows the truth, will he even still want me? It's an impossible choice, because no matter which one I make, I may still lose everything…

BOOK 1 & BOOK 2 Gwyneth's pack was attacked and absorbed by the Eclipse Pack. Her father being the delta of the pack, had to hand over the pack to Alpha Marcus. He had to do this because the alpha, beta, and gamma, had been killed in the struggle. To make the submission complete, Gwyneth was married off to Alpha Marcus against her will. Alpha Marcus was a widower who did not want to get involved with anyone after the death of his mate. Although he is married to Gwyneth, there is no love or desire in their union, and he has also vowed never to touch her or develop feelings for her. Gwyneth is not a soft cookie either, and she refuses to allow him to tame and control her. Her drive is so strong that she frustrates and challenges Alpha Marcus at every given opportunity. Would she be able to blame and despise him for long? Would Marcus be able to keep his vow and never fall? *Warning* Book is rated 18 because it contains sensual scenes and violence (fighting and pack wars), if it is not your cup of tea, kindly walk away from this one and try the other books. 'wink wink' Thank you*

Perrine is deeply inlove to the man nothing to do to her but hurt her feelings, to his husband. Even though Perrine knew that Reed had another love she still got married and hoped that one day her husband would love her too. Years passed nothing changed in Reed's feelings for her. But Perrine still hasn't given up. Until an accident changed everything. Nang dahil sa aksidenteng ito ay nag-bago ang lahat, lalo na ang nararamdaman ni Reed sa asawa. And Reed will do anything to find his wife. Dead or alive. To say what he should have said to his wife for a long time. But, will find her wife say the word . . . "I love you, Perrine." Kung pagkatapos ng aksidente ay hindi lamang ang nararamdaman ni Reed ang nag-bago kundi pati ang mukha ng asawa.