you're so old jokes

Laura Thompson watched her marriage crumble when her husband abruptly asked for a divorce. She had always suspected that he never truly loved her, but she had decided to win him over gradually. However, everything fell apart when her husband's ex girlfriend reentered his life and persuaded him to leave Laura. Completely disheartened after putting so much effort into a marriage that ended in failure, Laura decided to agree to the divorce and start her life anew in an uncertain place. However, Jason Davies realizes that he made a mistake by separating from Laura due to his ex girlfriend's influence. He now recognizes that he loves Laura, even though he didn't realize it before. Jason intends to reunite with Laura and win her back. The lingering question is whether Laura will forgive Jason and return to him after being hurt so deeply by him.

Warning: 18+ only. Featuring hardcore taboo and age-gap erotica. This is an erotic boxset containing yet another twelve stories of irresistible steam, steam, fun, and naughty stories. If you're not up to eighteen, this book is not for you. Get ready to be intrigued. To feel. To...burn. --------- "You think I'm a softie?" My voice is deceptively gentle when the rest of me is so hard. "Do you know why I pulled over?" "Why?" she says, seeming to hold her breath. "I pulled over because I know tight pussy when I see it." I frame her jaw with my right hand, tilting her blushing face up toward mine. "I'd like to fuck you on all fours, right here in the middle of the road, little girl. Rough as you can stand. Still think I'm a softie?" "No," she gasps, the green of her eyes deepening to a forest shade. "I don't." "Good."

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT Tisha Stewart, a twenty two year old virgin gets her life turned upside down in just one day. She loses her wealthy father to the cold hands of death, she learns that her fake friend who stole her boyfriend is her step-sister, and to top it all, she is forced to spend the night with an old sleazebag to pay off her late father's supposed debt. Spencer Grant is a handsome and sexy billionaire who avoids being in the spotlight. When a business rival attempts to set him up and spikes his drink, Spencer books a hotel room and orders an escort. In a twist of fate, Tisha ends up in Spencer's hotel room. She needs a place to hide and he needs a woman to pass the night. Spencer mistakes Tisha for the escort he ordered and they spend a passionate night. When he wakes up in the morning, Spencer finds Tisha gone. Not only is there no trace of her but the evidence of her innocence stares him right in the face. Now Spencer is determined to find this mysterious girl who has not only stolen his heart but whose face now haunts his dreams. THIS BOOK CAN BE READ AS A STANDALONE

Si Ysabella ay isang cloistered nun, ang babaeng mas pinili ang mamuhay sa apat na sulok ng monesteryo at ilaan ang buhay sa pagsamba at paglilingkod ng tahimik sa Diyos. Napakasaya niya at ilang araw na lamang ay matutupad na ang pangarap niyang maging ganap na perpetual cloistered nun, ngunit hindi niya inaasahan ang bilaang pagbisita ng kanyang nag-iisa at nakakatandang kapatid. Inamin nitong miyembro ng organisyon ng mga mafia at siya ay pinaparatangang nagtraidor sa grupo kaya kailangan nitong umalis at magtago. Nagmakaawa itong proprotektahan niya ang kanilang mga magulang sa maaring gawin ng grupo sa kanilang pamilya kung kayat napilitan siyang lumabas sa monesteryo. Hindi niya akalaing ganun kasama ang sinalihang grupo ng kanyang kapatid lalong lalo na ang pinuno na si Eric Madrigal na walang awang basta na lamang kumikitil ng buhay sa kanyang harapan. Sa galit nito sa kanyang kapatid ay puwersahan siyang inilayo sa kanyang pamilya upang pagbayaran ang kasalanan ng kapatid. Ano kaya ang naghihintay na kapalaran ni Ysabella sa kamay ng pinakamasamang mafia boss sa buong daigdig? Makakabalik pa kaya siya sa monesteryo?

Vivian sacrificed everything for the sake of her marriage with Syrus. She left her work and family to put up with his toxic mother all in the name of preserving their wedding. Yet that didn't stop Syrus from having an affair, what's worse? He wasn't afraid to show it. Having had enough, Vivian asked for a divorce determined to kick-start her life and chase her dreams. If only her ex-husband and his family would just leave her in peace.

A very successful businessman who was willing to sacrifice even his family for his goal to become the most powerful man in the world was reborn to the earth two hundred thousand years after only to find the world different from what he knew. Humans now have necro which can improve their abilities, turning them into superhumans which help them fight extraterrestrial-like creatures known as kuishinbos. In a new world where necros define power, Vander has none. How will he survive? How will he persevere? Will he continue his goal? Join Vander in his unforgettable experience in overcoming all the obstacles he will face in the new world.

Penelope was surprised by her best friend Anastacia when she announced that she is engaged to her boyfriend that she met just 6 months ago. Not knowing anything about the guy and she even saw him for a few times, from her own heartbreak experienced she suggested to her friend she’ll gonna check first his background and anything. Bewildered of what she saw while spying her best friend’s boyfriend she takes a video of it and decided to upload in social media to teach the man a lesson. Unfortunately, the person on the video was not her best friend's boyfriend but his twin. Not knowing that she’ll be the one who will be punish not only because of the video but in someway her heart will going to be involved too.

Allison fell in love with Ethan Iversen, the soon-to-be Alpha of the Moonlight Crown pack. She always wanted him to notice her. Meanwhile, Ethan was an arrogant Alpha who thought a weak Omega could not be his companion.  Ethan's cousin, Ryan Iversen, who came back from abroad and was the actual heir of the pack, never tried to get the position nor did he show any interest in it. He was a popular playboy Alpha but when he came back to the pack, one thing captured his eyes and that was Allison.

Take my life but don't ruin my soul, please... I....I am a widow, " Tears were streaming down from her eyes by watching that demonic human hovering over her and she softly hissed, when he slightly pressed the tip of the knife against her chin. "I didn't take your husband's life in front of your own eyes so that I could let you go, " And her gaze got befuddled when she had found him to wipe the that knife against those tears in the corner of her eyes which made her fear to engulf her more vigorously because she thought he was going to pierce it into her skin because she had seen him taking uncountable number of lives with no remorse. She again shut her lashes and waited to feel the sharp pain of her skin penetration but in the very next second, she felt the knife to get apart from her skin and warm drops of liquid falling on her lips and her eyes got opened when that liquid proceeded inside her parted lips and her tongue felt that metallic taste and see saw his palm bleeding. She teared up like a child by watching his soul quivering smirk. "Leave me.. Lea..." Her words got stucked into her throat when she felt his palm to grab her jaw which made her stirred and then she looked into his flaming darken eyes with her redden watery ones and her body turned numb ,feeling his palm getting inside her panties whereas, her eyes never stopped shedding tears . "Why ? " That question fell out from her mouth which was reeking over her whole existence that why . Why she was going to endure all of that and why she was fated to get ruined by him ? "BECAUSE I AM AN INSANE FOR YOU "

Emma Lewis is a witty and confident girl who never fears anyone. She comes to the conclusion that she is done with guys when her boyfriend of three years, cheats on her. But what happens when she encounters Austin Williams, an attractive, intimidating, and cocky guy who always gets what he wants and never dates. Will she change her mind and give in to her desires or fight the undeniable attraction between them?