ugly jokes

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

At 15, Valeria Startam finds herself in the midst of two handsome and wealthy sons of a billionaire. . Ergon Mickelson is the youngest of two brothers, who Valeria fell in love with. Noah Mickelson is the elder brother of Ergon who hate Valerie's guts for no good reason. Things got ugly when Valeria is to work as the assistant maid in the home of her boyfriend, Ergon. Valeria, though was a maid did not get the treatment deserving of a maid all because of Ergon. This further aggravated Noah's hate for Valeria. He went as far as humiliating her in public and calling her a gold digger. But one night, something strange happened in her bed in the house of the Mickelsons. Ever since that night, it became a regular routine until the day doom knocked on her door in the form of an unwanted pregnancy. Valeria faced the worse part of life when she is rejected by her very own boyfriend who denied ever having sex with her. Would Valeria be able to face the trauma and birth an unwanted child whose father she knows nothing about?

Lorraine is an innate lesbian. She has no séxual attraction for the male gender, it has been that way since she was old enough to know what séxuality means and where she fell into. But, just because she cannot feel that level of attraction for the male gender does not mean she hates them. And that's where Dane comes in. Lorraine likes her guardian angel. Her best friend. Her legal guardian. Her Billionaire. Her...everything. His name is Dane. Dane who has been with her, since her parents died at the age of twelve. Dane, who's so protective of her and never likes to see her hurt. She can't live without him. Their friendship is rock solid. But, what Lorraine does not know is that Dane harbors feelings for her. One that goes beyond friendship. Beyond ward-and-guardian feelings. The love he has for her so strong, with an even stronger sexual attraction. Dane has no idea when he started having these feelings but he knows that it's hopeless to have them for her. Lorraine is a Lesbian. Not Bi. Not transitioned. A full-fledged honest-to-God right-from-birth Lesbian. He stands no chance. Or does he? What kind of journey awaits these two people who loves themselves so much but in a complete different way? And what happens when a jealous ex-girlfriends rears her ugly head with danger practically trailing behind her?

Theodore is said to have been cursed by the gods, all his life he has been told he is ugly and undesirable. The arrival of the suave Lord Alistair brings light into his life. But Lord Alistair has a dark secret, a secret that could break their bond forever. .......... The prince of the vampire kingdom has disappeared, at the same time, a vicious blood sucking beast emerges in Theodore's kingdom, Theodore is tasked with discovering who the beast is. The beast is closer to him than he would ever believe. ..... The vampire kingdom sends men to the kingdom to look for their prince, Alistair and Theodore discover that some secrets are best left as secrets. Who is the vampire prince? Read to find out

" I can never marry someone else. Not her at least!" Two weeks after my twin sister's passing, to keep the relationship between two families, my parents proposed the idea of marrying me off to my twin sister's husband. But, both of the family know, I DON'T suit their taste of having a daughter-in-law in a family like them where my sister was a perfect match for everything. But... He got married for the sake of the relationship between two families. " Don't ever think of getting close to me. I will make sure we both go different ways soon. In this world, only one person lives in my heart. She will be there forever!" I thought it was acceptable. He married someone ugly like me is enough to get satisfied for me. However, not only did I walk onto the thin and sharp layer of ice, but also I had to face the Cruelty of rich and beautiful people...

To refuse a marriage proposal from an ugly billionaire, Riley challenged him to marry a beggar rather than him. Later, she was threatened to lose her family, she has no choice but to marry a beggar, It turned out Beggar is handsome and quite considerate too. What she never imagined was the devil billionaire has set up a trap for her. Get into the story to know what the ugly billionaire has set up for her. Follow the story of Christian evercast and Riley brown and watch them fall in love with each other. ********************************************* Book cover:Saii Designs F: @saidesigns ********************************************* Special Mention: Don't forget to check out my Friend's books: 1. To Love A Luna 2. Ascension of A Gamma

"I promise you if Trinity gives me the slip, then I am pinning her to a tree." Just thinking of her sends shivers up my spine and belief me that they are not the good shivering kind. I love a beautiful woman both in my bed and to look at. To be surrounded by ugly for almost a full day is seriously going to put a damper on my ego. But time to push that thought to the side, for our location has just come up on the right. We slowly cruise up the driveway… But as we step through the doorway… And we turn the corner… There is a tall brunette in what could possibly be the tightest dress I have ever seen. But what strikes me the most is her long slender legs that are held up by deep blood red stilettos. Her long locks of hair fall like waterfalls over her shoulders. Just looking at those plump lips is enough to send me raging. I don't know who she is... Colton Cruz is the best of the best, an ex-Marine, now bodyguard to the Mafia world’s elite. He is a man that lives for the rush and danger that his lifestyle brings. You might find yourself on his speed dial, but you will not be the one that will capture his heart. Trinity Stone is a spoilt brat that becomes Colton's next assignment. She is a pleasure on the eye but an absolute nightmare to be around. This lonely and misunderstood girl is the heir to the Stone Crime Family. And that is where the problem begins… Colton soon finds him desiring what he cannot have, the daughter of a Mafia Boss. How far will he go to get what he desires the most?

TLS #1 Ethan Vecton Handsome, smart as hell, manly body and a playboy. He only look at beautiful and hot girls. He hates and always get cold to nerdy, stupid and ugly girl. Kimberly Medilton She's one of the Vallon's kids but she lives in Seattle with her grandparents. Her grandparents always teach her how to live ordinary before she will go to London for university. She's plain, not smart and dress up like she has no money. Her only beauty is her heart to be exact.

"Nina is that you. You look so beautiful" a guy said. "Have some drink" "No, she is leaving," said the harsh voice, and next thing I know champagne was all over my dress. I gasped as it stained it. Before I could react he grabbed me and dragged me to the pool area. I yanked my hand. "What the hell. You ruined my clothes" I half yelled. "What the fuck you are doing in my party looking like a slut" he yelled angrily while pinning me to the wall. Listening to his words my blood boiled. "Let me guess you came here to ruin my mood by showing your ugly face," he said letting me know his hate. "Stop giving so much importance to yourself. I'm here because of your mom. My face must be ugly but ugly souls like you are not even worth wasting my life's a single second" I said angrily pushed him but he didn't move. "I can hide my ugly soul behind this face but ugly ducklings like you carry their ugliness which can't even be hidden by beautiful dress because they stain everything around them with their ugliness," his words were hurting my soul but I won't cry. With all my power I pushed him making him fall in the pool. "Happy Birthday," I said with a smirk on my face but he didn't let me go. Things he did to me after it still send a shiver to my spine. One thing was clear on that day that I don't want to see his face again in this life. But I don't know what the hell I'm doing standing in front of him in Church wearing a wedding gown and looking at his angry victory smirk on his face with my glassy eyes.

"No! please that is my wife." " But she claim she doesn't know you." The security man said, dragging Lance away. ****** Maya is a devoted, full-time housewife who sacrifices everything for her husband, Lance Wells. But on their fourth wedding anniversary when Maya was going to break the news of her pregnancy, Lance suddenly demanded a divorce because his ex-girlfriend had returned and he also claimed that she was ugly and too fat. Maya realized Lance never loved her but just married her so that he could get his inheritance. Maya was thrown out of the house by Lance, and after giving birth, she even lost the right to her baby. She was broken into pieces while Lance married his ex-girlfriend. Five years later, Lance was invited to a party organized by the world's richest and most famous empire. There, he saw a familiar beauty figure introduced as the heir of the empire, and his eyes widened in shock. She is no longer fat and ugly but now a beautiful heiress and he wants her back!!!