ugly jokes

"I promise you if Trinity gives me the slip, then I am pinning her to a tree." Just thinking of her sends shivers up my spine and belief me that they are not the good shivering kind. I love a beautiful woman both in my bed and to look at. To be surrounded by ugly for almost a full day is seriously going to put a damper on my ego. But time to push that thought to the side, for our location has just come up on the right. We slowly cruise up the driveway… But as we step through the doorway… And we turn the corner… There is a tall brunette in what could possibly be the tightest dress I have ever seen. But what strikes me the most is her long slender legs that are held up by deep blood red stilettos. Her long locks of hair fall like waterfalls over her shoulders. Just looking at those plump lips is enough to send me raging. I don't know who she is... Colton Cruz is the best of the best, an ex-Marine, now bodyguard to the Mafia world’s elite. He is a man that lives for the rush and danger that his lifestyle brings. You might find yourself on his speed dial, but you will not be the one that will capture his heart. Trinity Stone is a spoilt brat that becomes Colton's next assignment. She is a pleasure on the eye but an absolute nightmare to be around. This lonely and misunderstood girl is the heir to the Stone Crime Family. And that is where the problem begins… Colton soon finds him desiring what he cannot have, the daughter of a Mafia Boss. How far will he go to get what he desires the most?

" I can never marry someone else. Not her at least!" Two weeks after my twin sister's passing, to keep the relationship between two families, my parents proposed the idea of marrying me off to my twin sister's husband. But, both of the family know, I DON'T suit their taste of having a daughter-in-law in a family like them where my sister was a perfect match for everything. But... He got married for the sake of the relationship between two families. " Don't ever think of getting close to me. I will make sure we both go different ways soon. In this world, only one person lives in my heart. She will be there forever!" I thought it was acceptable. He married someone ugly like me is enough to get satisfied for me. However, not only did I walk onto the thin and sharp layer of ice, but also I had to face the Cruelty of rich and beautiful people...

I just found out my husband of five years has been cheating on me the whole time. I'm done being the ugly housewife he made me. Now, he wants me back, but all I want is revenge—and I’m ready to get it.

Theodore is said to have been cursed by the gods, all his life he has been told he is ugly and undesirable. The arrival of the suave Lord Alistair brings light into his life. But Lord Alistair has a dark secret, a secret that could break their bond forever. .......... The prince of the vampire kingdom has disappeared, at the same time, a vicious blood sucking beast emerges in Theodore's kingdom, Theodore is tasked with discovering who the beast is. The beast is closer to him than he would ever believe. ..... The vampire kingdom sends men to the kingdom to look for their prince, Alistair and Theodore discover that some secrets are best left as secrets. Who is the vampire prince? Read to find out

Charlotte always hoped for forever with her college sweetheart, Jonah, but after their marriage, the man she gave her heart took her freedom and turned her into a shadow of herself. He married another woman for her money and dumped Charlotte to the curb because of his greed. Broken, with no hope from anywhere, her savior comes in form of the man she least expected, her ex’s uncle. Xavier Roman is the wealthiest man in the state, a zillionaire whose income cannot be counted. He proposes a contract marriage to his nephew’s ex-wife in order to silence the ugly rumors surrounding him and she agrees out of desperation. In return, he promises to help her exert her revenge on everyone who wronged her, and spoil her beyond imagination. Driven by hate and jealousy, her ex-husband returns with his family, tarnishing her image in every way they can to get back at her, but she cannot be touched because of the man whose name she is affiliated with. What happens when she starts to want more than just his money? What happens when he realizes that it was never just business for him? How will she ever get over him, when coupled with his money, he shows her in more ways than one, what it means to be truly pleasured by a man…?

Savannah Canterbury, privileged and grew up in a rich household whose parents are both doctors. All her life she has always been wanting to please her parents and to never disappoint them. She is the kind of woman who isn't looking for love because she is too focused on having an accomplished life. Nick Wilde, a secretive and cold-hearted first boy with a lurking dark past of murder who grew up in awfully poor family. He has disabled himself to feel anything coming from anyone because of the tragic thing that happened in his life. He only cares about his younger sister Tracy and no one else. Nick is a man who never wants to fall in love again. Until he meets Tracy's roommate Savannah where his world turns upside down. An unexpected and unwanted relationship where they are bound to set three rules: 1.Live the present in secret 2.No commitment 3.Never expect for a future. Nick can close his eyes to the things he doesn't want to see but he can't close his heart from the things he doesn't want to feel. When everything falls out of place, hearts get broken, tears turns to anger and their love gets hideous, is Savannah willing to risk everything even after his ugly past? Love has never been pretty for Nick but will he allow himself to feel again? Will a love that started so ugly turn out into something beautiful?

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

No, you must want something, anything. If you can really help me get revenge on David and Lana, I can't just let you do it for free". Ethan went quiet for a while. I held my breath waiting for what his request might be. "You're right I do want something". He said after thinking for few minutes "What?" I asked slowly. " Until you get your revenge on David, Lana and every other person you want, you will live here". " Wha... What are you saying? ". I stammered hoping he wasn't saying what I thought he was saying. Ethan moved his face closer to mine be was so close, our nose almost touched. " I want you to be with me! " ... After a devastating divorce with the man she had been married to for over three years, Rachel thought her life was over. Her family disowned her, they wanted nothing to do with her anymore and she couldn't blame them. She had just divorced David Hart, one of the top successful bachelors in the country and heir to the Hart industries. But they would never understand that she didn't divorce him, he divorced her after she caught him cheating on her with her god-damned best friend! Rachel was just about to end everything by jumping off a bridge when she was saved by the most unexpected person. The boy she once bullied severally in highschool because he always wore ugly glass and was from a poor background, how come that glass make him so hot now? Why was he helping her get revenge on ex-husband who is trying to make her life even more miserable? And most important how did he get so handsome? What exactly does he want from her?

“Elena,” he says. My name has never sounded more filthy. He slams the door shut behind him with a kick of his foot and I flinch. My hand remains behind my back, it is a good thing he does not notice that my hands are now free. He inches forward and I take as many steps back as I can until I hit the wall. He comes even closer until his ugly face is mere inches away from my own. I can smell the stench of his wolf as he roughly grabs me by the chin. I quake uncontrollably, it is as if a wave of parasitic worms has taken hold of me, his touch is repulsive as it is nauseating. This man, who is old enough to be my father leans in and smiles. My eye starts to water and a sob escapes my lips. ****** Elena is a wolf-less girl who hails from a long line of omegas. One day, the enemy pack comes demanding for tributes, virgin girls to work as their slaves and to save her family, Elena volunteers to become one. She ends up a slave to the alpha of the enemy pack where she is horribly tortured. All hope seems lost and all she wants to do is to die, but then her savior comes in the form of Hunter, the alpha of the Storm Riders pack. Hunter takes one look at her and realizes she is his one true mate. But the only problem is, she has already been claimed by the alpha of the enemy pack. Will Elena be set free and allowed to choose her own path and happiness? Or will she be forever doomed to live in the shadows of her scars and past?

I was walking towards the university restaurant before it closed for the day, as I wanted to have my favorite ice cream suddenly someone put his foot, right where I was about to step in because of which I panicked and fell on the hard surface, moreover my glasses left my eyes and fell on the ground. I was struggling to get my glasses but I saw the guy whose name was Murphy picking them up and dangling around. He always bullied me whenever he could. I never understood why he would pick on me. “Do you want this, Nerd? Come kiss me and I will give it to you.” He said with mockery. I looked around for help and tried to get up but I had hit my leg badly when I fell so I couldn’t move my leg. I struggled and hit him with my fists but he laughed. “You dumb girl, why are you trying to resist, be glad that, I am going to kiss you and turn an ugly duckling like you into a princess ” Saying that he bent his face towards me. I felt disgusted and wanted to puke on his face and tried to move my face away from his face but he grabbed my chin and made me look at him. My whole body trembled because of the pain in my leg as I struggled to move back. I lifted my hands to push him away. But all of a sudden his weight was lifted away from me and I saw him being pushed on the ground while a hand grasped my arm and pulled me up. I looked up in surprise only to see a dark pair of eyes looking at me with concern and my heart started beating rapidly....