tell me a filipino joke

Napakasimpleng dalaga lamang n Olivia dela cruz.Kaya iyon Ang nagustuhan sa kanya Ng binatang kapitan sa kanilang Lugar.Hindi lang simple,dahil may angking kagandahan at magandang pangangatawan. Bata pa lamang si Olivia ng marami ng humahanga sa kanya,dahil may mabuti itong puso,matulongin din ito sa kapwa.Kaya marami Ang nagnanais na ligawan ito ng siya ay magdalaga na.Pero kahit isa ay Wala itong nagustuhan. Pero Ang Hindi niya inaasahan ng magtrabaho siya bilang secretary ng kanilang kapitan may nangyari agad sa kanila at sa mismong opisina ng kapitan ito naganap. Ang hindi alam ng dalaga ay Isang bilyonaryo Ang binata, nalaman niya iyon ng umalis Ang binata na Hindi nagpapaalam sa kanya at sinundan niya ito.Napag-alaman niyang tumakas Ang binata dahil sa arrange marriage na ginawa Ng kanyang magulang. Paano niya sasabihin dito na dinadala na nito Ang anak Ng binata gayong ikakasal na kinabukasan Ang binata...Abangan

Nag-iisa niyang tinaguyod ni Unique ang kanyang pamilya kaya bukod sa pagtitinda ng balut sa gabi ay naisip niya na magtrabaho bilang secretary sa malaking building na naghahanap ng secretary, dahil confidence siya na matatanggap siya sa trabaho dahil nakapagtapos naman siya ng highschool. Pero sa pag-apply niya ng trabaho at sa pag-aakala ni Unique na natanggap ito bilang sekretarya ang maging trabaho niya pero iyon pala ay magpanggap si Unique na anak sa nagmamay-ari ng building na tinatrabahuan nito. Kaya niya bang tanggapin ang alok nito kapalit ng malaking halaga para sa kanyang pamilya? Hanggang kailan ang kaya niyang magpanggap kung sa kabila ng lahat may nararamdaman na siya na pag-ibig sa anak ng kanyang tinuturing na magulang?

It was the thirtieth anniversary of my alma mater, and I had been invited back to give a speech. But as I stepped on stage, my husband's illegitimate son rushed toward me, brandishing a knife. His accusations rang through the hall: I was a homewrecker, the woman who had driven his mother to her death. He went even further, kidnapping my daughter and threatening her safety unless I publicly read a letter of confession. I was beaten to within an inch of my life, my body battered and bruised. I demanded my husband come forward and confront the truth. Instead, he turned on me. "I was forced to be with you in the first place!" my husband spat, venom dripping from every word. "You're the real mistress!"

Carlota Guzman Isang masungit at palabang babae, lahat ng gustohin n'ya ay binibigay ng kanyang mga magulang walang nagkagustong kaibiganin s'ya dahil sa kanyang ugaling ubod ng sungit. Lumaki siyang walang kaibigan at palaging nag-iisa. Adam Sohn is her long time crush and she did everything to get his attention but he always ignore her.

Xavier Blackwood just took over his family company. He went to Remington Hotel on Citadel Island to celebrate with his childhood friend, Soren and loyal college friends Lauren and Landon. What was supposed to be a blast became a nightmare when Xavier woke up in bed next to a stranger. Apparently, they married during the night, and he has no recollection of the event. Xavier panics when the stranger refuses an annulment. He finds himself in a dilemma, and he and his friends have to return home so he can seek counsel from his family lawyer. Unfortunately, the contract is binding, so the Lawyer proposed a risky illegal solution that might land the perpetrators in jail if caught. To fix the problem, they decide to create a backdated fake wedding certificate between Xavier and his loyal college friend Lauren, which would cancel out his marriage to the stranger. However, the stranger isn't giving up without a fight. Xavier and Lauren have to prove that their marriage is real to prevent Xavier from losing half of his wealth to the stranger should the wedding stand and she chooses to divorce him. They also need to save themselves from getting arrested for making fake marriage documents. All of this unfolds in a world where werewolves exist, hidden from human awareness. Join us in this romantic and mysterious adventure as we uncover the secrets of the story. If you're a fan of billionaire romance, werewolf romance, and mystery, this book might be a perfect match, offering a blend of everything to keep you intrigued.

After receiving a divorce paper from her husband, six months after their marriage. Lisa tried to make their marriage work but was shattered by her husband’s affair with her cousin. Feeling betrayed and broken, she left to start all over. Six years later she becomes the most powerful woman in the underworld and a genius Doctor in the outside world. What will she do when she finds out the mafia who kidnapped her son for ransom to lure her to come and save the life of his dying fiancé is no other person but her Ex husband? Will she put aside her hatred towards the two and save her cousin’s life? or watch her die? Will she forgive her Ex husband for kidnapping his own son **** Trey Collins a ruthless, domineering and powerful CEO in the business world and a ruthlessly merciless man, who wouldn’t blink at the idea of murder, torture and making one disappear from the face of the earth without a trace in the underworld. Every lady in Pearl city dreams to become his wife, but also terrified of him by his powerful and deadly aura. Trey married Lisa just to spite his girlfriend, Valerie. After getting back together with his girlfriend, he asked for a divorce from his wife Lisa, but she refused to sign it. But when she signed the divorce papers, he was surprised but feigned nonchalance. He thought she didn’t want to let him go, he thought she would beg. But why does everything remind him of her after she left? He thought he wanted her out of his sight and life? No! He must reclaim what is his and his alone!!

A promising position at a high tech dating app company brings Holly out to Colorado. But when she meets the CEO, and would be boss, she decides he can take his attitude, and the job offer, and stuff it. Holly becomes desperate for work and doesn't want to move back home with her mom and recently divorced sister. She decides to give it one last shot and is immediately hired by the COO, who is also the CEO's brother. Her project is to bring the brother's latest dating app update to life. She needs to find any issues with it, which seems to be everything. Rework the backend. And complete a beta test using employees who volunteer to be testers. What could go wrong during the office beta testing? A lot. No one on the leadership team, including Holly, the CEO, & the COO were supposed to sign up for beta testing of their app that allows people to express their desires anonymously via written messages. What happens when Holly starts messaging with her bosses without knowing who they are? Can the Billionaire heirs of Talon Industries, Noah and Adam, figure out how to charm a girl who doesn't seem to be impacted by their usual charms? Can either of them admit that lust has turned into love? Who can crack the ice cold heart of these untrusting alpha men? She can.

I shook my head as a dark chuckle escaped my lips. “I’m not her, Dimitri, can’t you see it? I will never be her,” My voice shook as I spoke, tears threatening to spill. Dimitri ran his fingers through his hair in distress. His usual cold demeanor slipping away as he walked towards me and grabbed me by my shoulder. I felt his fingers on my chin, forcing me to look at him. I swallowed. “You don’t understand, Dimitri,” My voice came out as a whisper. “You are in love with that woman. Not me. It has-it has never been me,” “I know who I want, Val and that person is you,” *** For years, Valeria Moore had lived her life as a substitute lover to Dimitri. She believed one day, he would see her for who she is and not as his lost mate who had the same face as her. But when Dimitri announced his engagement to Summer Wood, Val knew she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted to cut all ties with him but now, Dimitri wasn’t ready to let her go. Not when he just realized she was pregnant for him.

I shivered in the darkness, the air stale, damp and cold making goosebumps appear on my bare skin. The low rumbles and huffs which were coming from behind made me a little scared, and I knew the beast was still there, watching me with interest. I knew screaming and calling for help was futile since my voice was already hoarse for trying to scream the past few hours, but the only thing to be heard was my echo, and the snarl that followed next. I heard it shift and felt it's soft fur brush against my body and skin. I swallowed hard and held in my voice. The more it leaned in, the more my heart beat wildly, and I tried to move away from it. It's warm breath brushed against my cold skin making me shiver in response. I couldn't see but I had an idea what it wanted. I kept resisting but it was much stronger than I was, easily able to pull my thin legs apart. It showed it's dominance as a way to make me submit. I knew I wasn't strong enough to fight or escape it, but that didn't mean I was going to willingly do what the beast said, at least at that minute. But everything changed when I felt it's big head dip between my legs, easily parting them to the extreme, and a rough, yet soft , in my opening. I couldn't help the moan that left my lips. The was long, rough, and filled me to the brim, and that's when I knew I was in . The beast wanted to breed with me.

I felt hands roam around my body, yet I saw no one. I moaned out in pleasure and tried to move my body but the chains clad around my wrists and legs made my efforts futile. “Who are you?” I gasped out when I couldn’t control the ecstasy bubbling in me anymore. Hot breath fanned my face from two angles as voices whispered into my itching ears. “You belong to us, mate!” >> The night she was sold by her stepfather to an Alpha was the night her entire life changed. Captured by the feared and ruthless Lycan kings who mistook her to be the Alpha’s mate, Valerie must find a way to escape the wrath of the Lycan brothers and start a new life away from the wolf kingdom. But when the Lycan brothers announce their desire to have her as their mate and sex slave, Valerie is left trapped between fate, death, and hell.