tell me a filipino joke

Cassidy Castillo is a spoiled brat who already had everything she wanted in life except one, the man she loved the most. He never looked her way even she did everything to get his attention. The more he hated her, the more she pursued him. After learning that she was arranged to marry his brother and she might ruin his life if she disagreed, Cassidy knew she had to stop her unrequited feelings for him and sacrificed her own freedom in exchange for his safety. But as she tried to distance herself, he then finally looked her way. Or was it her being delusional again? Will she still let her feelings win even she knew she will cause his downfall? Or is it time for her to finally let go?

SECRET WIFE'S TEMPTATION MATURE RATING!! Reverie de Gracia has all that it takes to be a perfect bachelorette, a tough woman and so admirable. Tinitingala ng mga kababaihan at hinahangaan ng mga kalalakihan. Ani nga ng karamihan na siya raw ay ipinanganak na perpekto at may ginintuang kutsara sa bibig. Her life is so full of blessings. She has a perfect family, a very loving parents, a strict but caring brother and of course an intact relationship with her long time boyfriend who adores her so much na kulang na lang ay sambahin pati lupang dadaanan niya. Ganoon kalugod ng tadhana sa kanya kaso sa labis na galak ng tadhana ay nagawa rin nitong paglaruan ang kapalaran niya. Larong magdudulot ng malaking pagbabago sa buhay niya. Her boyfriend, Nigel proposed to her a marriage and then married another woman the next morning. Gumuho ang mundo niya sa kaganapang iyon. Gawa ng galit ay pinaranas niya rin sa taong may kagagawan ng lahat kung gaano kasaklap ang naging buhay niya dahil sa kapangahasang ginawa nito sa kanila ng kanyang kasintahan. To get even with that cruel man, she kidnapped him and forced him to get married to her legally and left him after her impromptu act. Her original plan was to slowly destroy his life ngunit ang hindi niya napaghandaan ay may taglay din pa lang kahenyohan ang taong pinakasalan niya. Cause what she didn't know is her husband is engaged to another woman. A woman who she doesn't want to be hurt by. And now the Secret Wife's Temptation is to make things right for the sake of everyone even though her heart is already bewitched with the man who happens to be her legal husband but in love with another woman.

Thera De Marco was hated and feared by many. For inexplicable reasons, within five years of marriage to her husband Sean, she has gone from being soft-hearted and happy, to savage and ill-tempered. Despite her unhappiness, and her hate towards her husband she has refused to get her marriage annulled. Ilang buwan bago ang kanyang ika tatlumpong taong kaarawan, Thera is hit by a car, causing her memory - before she meets Sean, to be wiped out. When she resumes her life, she begins to question why she was so unhappy in her marriage. Magbabago kaya ang damdamin ni Thera para sa asawa habang wala siyang maalala? Or do the secrets run deeper than she ever realized?

Destiny they say is the master mind of who we are, a princess's fall from glory opens her heart to the exciting adventures of love outside the heavy duties of expectations and the crown , she becomes a slave girl in a different land under the rulership of the ruthless Emperor Kaliel Fascar of great Audreit , a man rumored to be as cold as ice and as unfeeling as a dead man. The wolf king . She who was sent by her enemies to be a meal for the wolves , finds a way into Thier cold emperor's heart , but destiny always has other plans , The cold Emperor has a wife ,The Luna Empress Kasan Fascar, a woman who would stop at nothing to tear down anyone that dares come close to the emperor

*The Queen And The Freak (Filipino/Taglish Edition)* --- Si Blair ay isang bampira na kakalipat lang mula sa Transylvania upang maranasan ang buhay ng isang normal na tao kasama ang kanyang ina-inahan sa Amerika. Nakilala niya ang isang nakakabighaning dalaga na nagngangalang Pryce, na buong akala nya ay kinasusuklaman siya sa kadahilanang hindi maganda ang kanilang unang pagkikita. Lahat ay nagbago sa buhay ni Blair nang 'di niya inakala na darating ang panahon na mahuhulog siya kay Pryce, na hindi pala isang normal na tao, ngunit isang werewolf na nalalapit na ang awakening. And none of them knew na si Pryce ay hindi lamang isang ordinaryong werewolf kundi ang nakatadhanang reyna.

On the day she went to surprise her sister with a gift for her new born baby, Diamond received the most shocking surprise of her life. She discovered her husband, Lennox Winthrop was the father of the baby and as if that isn’t enough, he laid the blames on her for being unable to bear him a child. Even her own family, laid the blames on her. Devastated, Diamond divorce her husband and left the city. However, she left with A baby growing inside of her, belonging to her ex-husband. Well turned out they were triplets years later. All she wanted after their Forster father died, was to live a single happy life with her babies but her crazy boys had other plans. They pops up a husband to her one evening and he turns out to be someone she never expected to meet again..

Oakley is a quiet kid, he keeps his head down and minds his own business. He has a best friend, and a fling. He's openly gay, and in his small town that still lives in the sixties, he gets bullied for it. He has two moms, which only adds to the bullying. Axton is at his prime, he plays football, has a hot girlfriend, who is supposedly his soon to be mate. Everything in his life is perfect. Except he has one big secret. No one knows, and he takes out his frustrations on an easy target.

I was never meant to love him. Zander was my mate, my husband, my Alpha—but not my choice. My heart had always belonged to my childhood best friend, Laurent. We dreamed of a future together, but fate was cruel, binding us to different mates. Still, I couldn’t let go. Even after marrying Zander, I betrayed him, seeking solace in Laurent’s arms. Then, everything fell apart. I fell pregnant… with Laurent’s child. Zander found out about my betrayal, and in his rage, he marked me—not out of love, but out of vengeance. Then he shattered me further, finding comfort in another woman’s arms. Selina. He loved her the way I once wished he’d love me. It should have been enough for me to leave. But the Moon Goddess had other plans. Tragedy struck, and I was forced to make an impossible choice. I ran. For seven years, I stayed away. For seven years, I tried to forget. But now, the pack needs me. A war is coming, and I am the only one who can save them. Returning means facing my past, the mate I once scorned, and the love I thought I lost. Zander is different now—stronger, colder. He doesn’t want me back. I don’t blame him. But the bond between us never truly broke. And this time… neither of us can run from it. Will love be enough to mend what was shattered, or are we doomed to be each other’s greatest regret?

He starts nibbling on my chest and starts pulling off my bra away from my chest. I couldn’t take it anymore, I push him away hard and scream loudly and fall off the couch and try to find my way towards the door. He laughs in a childlike manner and jumps on top of me and bites down on my shoulder blade. “Ahhh!! What are you doing! Get off me!!” I scream clawing on the wooden floor trying to get away from him.He sinks his teeth in me deeper and presses me down on the floor with all his body weight. Tears stream down my face while I groan in the excruciating pain that he is giving me. “Please I beg you, please stop.” I whisper closing my eyes slowly, stopping my struggle against him.He slowly lets me go and gets off me and sits in front of me. I close my eyes and feel his fingers dancing on my spine; he keeps running them back and forth humming a soft tune with his mouth. “What is your name pretty girl?” He slowly bounces his fingers on the soft skin of my thigh. “Isabelle.” I whisper softly.“I’m Daniel; I just wanted to play with you. Why would you hurt me, Isabelle?” He whispers my name coming closer to my ear.I could feel his hot breathe against my neck. A shiver runs down my spine when I feel him kiss my cheek and start to go down to my jaw while leaving small trails of wet kisses. “Please stop it; this is not playing, please.” I hold in my cries and try to push myself away from him.

you belong to me heather. Body, soul and everything. I want you. I was inside you. I tasted you. And I'm never letting go... for what I feel for you is not love it's obsession, lust, the unorthodox version of deranged love -madness.