random funny phrases

"I had a husband before I had a boyfriend!" Autumn blurted out, while the other two girls stared at her, wondering what she was talking about."Did a random guy propose to you?" Ella asked her with raised eyebrows."The man I met the last time we had a night out, uh? We had a good night and all that, and when we woke up the next morning, guess what I saw?" She didn't wait for them to guess before she said it herself. "A signed marriage certificate between both of us!" She exclaimed.You must be joking!" Ella exclaimed in shock.How in the world did that even happen?!

Rated 18 Read at your own risk Walang ibang nais si Monica kundi ang makaahon sa hirap at buhayin ang kaniyang isang anak na lalaki, na bunga ng one-night stand sa isang estranghero. Kahit anong trabaho pinapasok niya maging ito ay kapit sa patalim. Pinatos niya ang trabaho bilang ispiya ng mafia organization. Subalit sinubok ang kaniyang prinsipyo nang makilala si Federico Sartorre, ang mafia boss na unang target na ibinigay ng kaniyang amo. Si Federico ay isa sa miyembro ng pinakamalaking mafia organization, ang Cosa El Gamma. Bukod sa pamilyar ito sa kaniya at hawig ng kaniyang anak, nakitaan niya ito ng tattoo na katulad sa lalaking nakaniig niya noon sa isang bar sa Japan. Habang nasa puder siya ni Federico bilang maid, hindi lamang trabaho ang kaniyang pakay, kundi ang tuklasin ang misteryo sa pagkatao nito. Ngunit mabilis nahulog ang puso niya sa binata at nag-assume na ito ang ama ng kaniyang anak. Paano kung si Federico nga ang tatay ng kaniyang anak? Susuwayin ba niya ang misyon at piliin ang sigaw ng puso?

Two CEOs got into an arranged marriage for convenience. One is a strong-willed woman who doesn’t believe in love. The other is a cold-hearted man who was rejected by his unrequited love. Adira Hale and Chadwick McElroy appear to be perfect in front of many. They are rich, influential, leaders, and good-looking. People said that they are the best couple, a match made by heaven. But the truth is far from the imaginary perfect romance that one could think of. Adira only married Chadwick in order to get pregnant. All she desires is his body and not his affection. Meanwhile, Chadwick despises the idea of sharing the bed with his wife just because he’s still in love with another woman. Is there a chance for love to bloom between temptation and betrayal?

Paano kung isang araw ay may isang estranghero na bigla na lamang mag-alok sa iyo ng kasal? Handa ka bang tanggapin ang mapusok na alok nito, o mas pipiliin mong tanggihan? Halina't tunghayan at alamin kung papaano mababago ang buhay ni Gelay De Castro sa alok ni Hadi Sandoval? *** Lumaki na hirap sa buhay ang dalagang si Gelay, simula nang pumanaw ang kanyang ama ay siya na rin ang umako sa responsibilidad na naiwan nito sa kanilang pamilya. Bukod sa pagiging panganay na anak ay ginampanan na rin niya ang pagiging Padre de pamilya para sa kanyang Nanay Myrna at dalawang nakababata pang kapatid. Wala siyang pinipiling pasukan na trabaho, basta ba't legal at marangal ay wala iyong problema sa kanya. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, nakilala niya si Hadi Sandoval—ang lalaking malamig pa sa yelo kung makitungo sa kapwa tao. Sa hindi malamang dahilan, inis para sa isa't-isa agad ang kanilang naramdaman simula noong unang magkita. They also both wish not to see each other anymore…ngunit tunay na mapaglaro nga naman ang tadhana. Dahil itinakda ng pagkakataon na muli silang magkita… sa pagkakataon ito ay inalok siya ng kasal ng Binata. A marriage for inconvenience. Pakakasal siya kay Hadi, kapalit ng malaking halaga. Tanggapin kaya ni Gelay ang alok na maging Cinderella for Rent?

Love finds you irrespective of your religion, race, tribe or color. They were caught up in a web of love when they lest expected it, both were from different backgrounds. It was hard to admit at first but after falling in love. It was more difficult to let go. Will they surmount all difficulties and obstacles? Will they fight for their love or watch it while it washes away with the rain that's about to pour? Join Ben and Roshan as they go through the hurdles of life together on a journey of true love.

[WARNING: This story contains mature themes with profanities, hardcore graphical explicit sexual situations, and others. Strongly recommended for 18+ only. Otherwise, read at your own risk.] Jack was still a child when his father abandoned him to Marianne, his lovely and caring stepmother. Through the good and bad times, they only have each other. But what if Jack suddenly admits that Marianne is the only person he wants to be with and love forever? A forbidden love that overflows like magma, so intense and hot that it burns with every touch. How will this kind of love survive in a world full of uncertainty, temptation, and mistakes? What if there are people who constantly try to keep them apart? Jack once told Marianne, "I don't give a damn about anyone. I want you to be mine! And it's fine with me if our love for each other burns me. Just want me and love me until the end, I am more than willing to be burned to death." Can their love last all the way to the end? NOTE: This is an English translation of a Tagalog story with the same title and author. The author wishes to apologize for any errors in vocabulary, spelling, phrases, or other translation issues found in this novel. In the future, this book will be further edited and polished to make it more suitable for English readers. For the time being, please enjoy it and don't forget to leave comments or feedback. Have fun reading! (The Tagalog/Filipino version is also available in this app).

Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course. Hazel was rejected by someone she loved and was told that he would be engaged to her deadly foe. In great despair, she went to a bar and met this handsome guy (Zac). They drank a lot and played games. Under the influence of alcohol, they got married. However when they came back to her senses, they decide to make things right, but it's hard to get a divorce now because she wants to use the dramatic yet genuine marriage to keep her proud in front of her deadly foe. Zac on the other hand was the future heir to one of the richest and prosperous families. Although he was endowed with an otherworldly handsomeness, he was known to be as cold as ice and had a natural dislike for women although they always craved after him like bees to a honey pot. But for some unknown reason, he finds something unique about Hazel which he can’t explain. Perhaps, it were her eyes which were limpid and pure like autumn water and sparkled like azure pools in the morning sunlight… Would it be possible that they fall in love with each other in the future? Take part in this amazing piece, and experience a story filled with various mysteries and incredible twists as she uncovers the mysteries surrounding Zac who decides to hide his identity and tremendous background in order to win her heart genuinely.

What are the odds that you are dared to send a random text to a stranger? And, what are the odds that the stranger happens to be someone you would never have imagined in your wildest fantasies?Well, the odds are in Chloe's favor. A text conversation which starts as a dare takes a one eighty degree turn when the person behind the screen turns out to be the cockiest, most arrogant, annoying asshat. Despite all this; the flirting, the heart to heart conversations and the late night musings are something they become accustomed to and something which gradually opens locked doors...but, that's not all. To top it all off, the guy just might happen to be in the same school and have a reputation for a overly skeptical identity..."What are you hiding?""An awesome body, beneath these layers of clothing ;)"But, who knows what Noah is really hiding and what are the consequences of this secret?Cover by my girl @messylilac :)❤️

“You dare to think of another man in my presence?” The Alpha growled with a burning desire in his eyes. He glowered at Lavinia whose hands were tied. “What does that man have that I don’t? That filthy vampire, you think he’s going to save you?” His hands ran through her bare skin, sending shivers to her spine. “Please, leave me alone,” Lavinia begged in desperation. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Then be mine, Lavinia.” He leaned closer to her. His breath fanned her face. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive.” Lavinia shook her head. She pursed her lips while watching the man in front of her. He may be a great man with power but her heart longed for someone else. “No. You’re not him… You’re not Sebastian.” "We had an unspoken deal: He gave me warmth, colors, and lies. In return, he asked for my blood when he's thirsty, my body when he's cold and my heart when he's bored. The funny part is, I still think it's quite a bargain." - Lavinia de Llava

Roohi Kapoor has a problem. Scratch that—she has two problems. First, she’s hopelessly in love with her best friend, Vihan Singh Rathore, who just happens to be the most frustrating playboy in all of Delhi. He flirts with anything that moves in the skirt—except her. Second, her entire family—overprotective brothers, cousins, and all—won’t stop parading eligible bachelors in front of her. As an MD, her family thinks it's time for her to get married and “settle down.” But how can she think about anyone else when her heart is stuck on Mr. Heartbreaker himself? Enter Ron Kapoor, Roohi’s elder brother and legendary love guru. He could easily make a career of solving other people’s romantic disasters, but helping his little sister get together with a notorious playboy? Even he knows this is a recipe for disaster. Especially, when Ron’s strict rules mean Roohi must follow his plan down to the letter… and his plan involves turning the tables on Vihan's flirtatious ways. Can Roohi break free from the friend zone and finally make Vihan see her as more than just his best friend? Or will she end up heartbroken while her brothers plan her next “perfect” match? One thing’s for sure—things are about to get hilariously complicated.