one liner jokes tagalog

When the red sky falls on the nineteenth of August 2080, the people of Segunda Island never thought they'll see their beloved home end before their very eyes. They watched their society bombed into dust, taking many innocent lives. Is it a massacre or a genocide? They died without knowing the reason for their ill fate. Then they resurrected out of ordinary, shifting into something vicious. They've become a humanoid beast who craves for blood and gore. Jane Fortalejo have no choice to team up with a bunch of misfits. Their hope to find haven across the ocean motivates them to strive better against the so-called flesh-eating zombies; but human nature has always been so selfish, ruthless, and violent in their deepest, darkest thoughts. With no safe places left to run and hide, they swear to seek for the truth behind the apocalypse instead, even if their death comes as a price.

Sila'y pinag-isang dibdib ng kanilang masidhing pagnanasa— ang maghiganti at manubos para sa mga inosenteng buhay na isinangla kay kamatayan. Kapwa nanumpang palaging iingatan, poprotektahan, pahahalagahan, at mamahalin ang isa't isa mula sa araw na ito at sa mga susunod pang bukas, subalit ito'y hindi pangkaraniwang kwento ng romansa. Sila'y kapwa nanunumpang dudurugin, sasaktan, kasusuklaman, at kikitilin ang buhay ng isa't isa mula sa araw nang pagkakabunyag ng nakaraan at sa mga susunod pang bukas, hanggang si Kamatayan na mismo ang tumapos sa kanilang ugnayan. Bilang nag-iisang anak ng tanyag na mafia boss, lumaki si Quinn Amara Montejo sa pagkandili ng mga baril at patalim. Sa paghele ng karahasan at kalupitan, kanyang nasaksihan ang walang-awang pagbawi sa buhay ng kanyang mga minamahal. Ganid at uhaw sa dugo ang kaniyang kinalakihang mundo. Tila isang bombang nasa binggit ng pagsabog, rebelyon ang kanyang nakitang tanging susi upang makalaya mula sa anino ng kaniyang ama, ngunit agad itong natuldukan nang mag-aklas ang mga guhit sa kanyang palad. Ni hindi naligaw sa kanyang hinagap ang pagpapakasal, lalong hindi kay Gunther Zenith Dragoza, isang tanyag na business magnate na maraming sikretong itinatago. Lahat ay umaayon sa plano ng binata subalit kung siya'y ipinagkanulo't pinagtaksilan ng sariling puso, sino ang mananaig? Paghihiganti o pag-ibig? Dalawang pusong buong tapang na naglayag sa iisang sagradong tipanan. Sa bisig ng isat isa nga ba nila matatagpuan ang tahanang kanilang matagal na pinananabikan, o sila'y kapwa estrangherong dumaong lamang sa maling isla?

Jasmine Hunt is vacationing with her parents in South Pointe, Miami, for one last weekend together before she goes away to college. Zain Perez is a college senior on a full-ride baseball scholarship to USC, home for the summer. What neither of them know is that their lives are about to change forever. Jasmine is from an affluent family in Maine who wants her to date young men from society. Zain is from a Cuban family who wants him to meet a nice Cuban girl and settle down. They both made promises to their families that they intend to keep but can’t deny their attraction. Jasmine promised her mother that she would wait to sleep with a man until she was married. But Zain comes up with a solution: Get married Friday and divorced Monday, while having the time of their lives for just one incredible weekend before going back to college. Sounds like a plan. But what was supposed to be a casual liaison ends up being their heart’s desire. Join Jasmine and Zain as they learn what it is to sacrifice for the good of family. But will their love be the ultimate sacrifice? Just One Weekend is a novel of a first love so epic that neither of them can forget… or deny.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT/R-18 Si Mildred Vergara, na mas kilala ng marami bilang Mild, ay isang happy-go-lucky at spoiled brat na tagapagmana ng Vergaras, isa sa pinakamayamang pamilya sa bansa. Lahat ng gusto niya ay madali niya lamang nakukuha; kung ano ang gusto niya ay kung ano ang napapasakaniya. Hanggang sa malaman niya ang nakakagulat na balita sa kanyang buhay: gusto ng kanyang mga magulang na ipakasal siya. Sa kagustuhan niyang madiskaril ang plano ng kanyang mga magulang, naisip niyang gumawa ng pinaka pinakamalokong desisyon na nagawa niya sa buhay niya. Nagpasya siyang puntahan ang kanyang dating kasintahan, na anim na taon niyang hindi nakikita o nakakausap, at humiling siya rito na magka-anak sila.

"I will make you mine. I am not Phoenix Dark Mariano for nothing." Julliana Delos Reyes is a brave and gorgeous woman. Matapos ang isang trahedya sa buhay niya ay pilit siyang ipinakasal ng kaniyang tiyahin sa lalaking hindi niya kilala. David Asuncion, made her life miserable, palagi siya nitong binubugbog at ipinapahiya sa mga nagiging babae nito. In order to protect her daughter wala siyang magawa kung 'di tiisin ang lahat ng 'yon. Not until, she met Phoenix Dark Mariano. Nakuha ng binata ang atensyon niya dahil sa kakaiba at misteryosong presensya nito. Phoenix Dark Mariano is a CEO of XV Company, ngunit nakatago ang tunay niyang pagkatao bilang Mafia Lord. Nang makita niya si Julliana ay tila nagbalik muli ang isang bangungot sa buhay niya. Gusto niyang mas makilala pa ang pagkatao nito. Ngunit paano kung malaman niyang kasal na ito at may pamilya na? Are they both willing to commit sins in order to be happy? Paano kung malaman ni Julliana ang tunay niyang pagkatao pati na ang kaniyang pakay? Kapwa pa ba nila maituturing na pag-asa ang bawat isa kung ang nakaraan nilang dalawa ay ang dahilan ng pagkasira nila?

Isang babaeng nagtrabaho sa isang Casino na nangarap yumaman , ngunit nahulog ang loob nito sa isang lalaking anak ng bilyonaryo pero badboy , nabuntis ito at iniwan sya ng lalaki. Matapos s'yang nanganak nangako s'yang hindi na babalik pa sa Casino na kanyang pinagtatrabahuan dahil kinasusuklaman n'ya ang lalaking nang iwan sa kan’ya. Subalit dumating sa puntong hindi na n'ya alam kung paano bubuhayin ang anak kaya namasukan ito bilang katulong subalit hindi nito alam na doon pala nakatira ang lalaking kanyang kinasusuklaman. Mahigit limang taon din hindi sila nagkita at hindi din alam ng lalaki na may anak sila, madami narin ang nagbago nagkaroon na ito ng nobya at malapit na silang ikasal ng babae. Habang nagtatrabaho s‘ya sa bahay nila Gabriel Bustamante ang lalaking kinamumuhian nito ang ama ng anak niya. Si Samantha naman ay pinipilit na hindi ipahalata ang kanyang nararamdamang galit. Dahil nakatira sila sa isang bahay hindi maiwasan ng lalaki na lumapit sa kanya sa tuwing sila lang ang nasa bahay, dahil sa galit ni Samantha kay Gabriel kahit anong pilit nitong paglapit sa kanya ay hindi nya ito kinakausap, dahil sa araw araw nitong kinukulit si Samantha ay malapit na syang madala ng charisma ni Gabriel, isang araw ay hindi na nito napigilan ang sarili ng lumapit ito at hinalikan s'ya sa labi ng lalaki ay biglang dumating ang kasintahan nito at muntikan na silang mahuli. Araw araw kinakausap nito ang kanyang anak na si Mika sa pag-uusap nila ng anak ay narinig ito ni Gabriel napatanong ito kung may anak na s'ya subalit hindi nya sinabi na anak nila. Araw araw din inaakit ni Gabriel si Samantha dahil hindi pa naman sila naaaktuhan ng nobya nito, hanggang sa isang araw may napansin na ang live in partner nito na kakaiba sa kanila.

Mildred has spent most of her life as a prostitute in a club. Men lust after her, they want her, but she was well-known for being violent and disobedient. No man has ever been able to tame her. Zaccheus Gonzales, one of the richest mafia in the country, has turned thirty-five and jaded. He needed a partner to bear his child but no woman could ever satisfy him enough to be his wife. However, he was persistent to have Mildred once he saw her for the first time in the club with nothing but restraints and leash around her neck. Alternatively, Mildred didn't like him at first sight. He was known to her and everyone else as a ruthless killer with no conscience, disregarding the man's attractive physical appearance. She knew better than to trust their species. She despised men and would never submit to them, even if it was Zaccheus who always kept his distance. She had always desired for freedom. What would she do if she finds out she could grasp the freedom she always wanted if she’d only agree to marry Zaccheus Gonzales? Would she trust him and accept?

It was five years ago when Andrew's friends died. Two of them were his teammates in volleyball and one of them was his boyfriend. All of them were said to be killed by his best friend, Allen. The tragedy almost caused him to take his own life. But just like the rainbow that appears after a rain, Andrew was able to get back on his feet and tried to live as normal as possible. It was then when he met Karl, a handsome and a tall looking man with a cold demeanor. For Karl, Andrew was his sun no matter what his past is. Andrew was the person who changed him, a person he had promised he wouldn't leave. But there will always be darkness after the sun shines. For they thought they could finally be happy, a person from the dark past came back. Will Andrew be able to find happiness? or will the past pull Andrew back to how he was? For updates follow me on my Facebook page: @lawlietwrites

Just a hug. You're running away. Gets stuck in some trouble. A guy saves your life. Who also happens to be a really famous singer. Now, What if you hug him instead of taking an autograph? What if you both feel the spark? What if you get scared? But...what if he doesn't let go? ------ "You're stuck with me, angel." Asher whistled from behind me. "You'll wish you could take back those words." I said noticing a sort of sinking feeling in my stomach as I turned and looked at him. "What if I don't?" He asked leaning quite close to me. "You will. Everybody does." I said stepping away and continuing to walk. "Even if I'll want to, just hug me and I'll stay." He said making me stop and look back at him. He winked with that breathtaking smile. "Okay, Asherboy." I said back as a smile formed on my lips too.

Eloisa lost her memory after the doctor couple found her and saved her. She wants to find the missing parts of her memory. Find the man in her dream who says that he is her husband. Can Eloisa find this man?