funny mom jokes dirty

He met me at the bar. Instead of making me feel like a prostitute and a dirty woman, he made me feel like a princess and respected. So how can I follow our rule of 'not falling in love'? Eh isang linggo ko pa lang siyang kasama sobrang lakas na ng tibok ng puso ko. Which woman wouldn't fall for him? He might be the perfect man I've ever met. Pinaramdam niya rin sa akin na ako lang ang kaisa-isang taong sandalan niya.

Samantha Mendez was forced to take a part-time job as a maid, she has to pay for her tuition fee, her mom's bail, her dad's debt, and her sister's pregnancy, but did not expect that she will serve someone who's as jerk as Kalix Del Costa, will Samantha be able to finish her contract, what if one day she woke up and realized, that she fell for him, hard?

Warning- Mature Audiences only!. -Strong sexual content. - rated language. Original work. Description: "Get up!." He commanded. His voice was stern and his cold blue eyes pierced into my skin. I didn't look fazed by his intimidating demeanor. "You muckerfucker blood-sucking demon." I cussed, biting down my lower lip to hinder myself from not raining more curses at him. He smirked. He glided across the room until he stood in front of me, I looked right into his eyes as he lowered down to my level. His hand gripped my chin up, his blue eyes looking deep into mine. "You won't end well if you continue to speak to me like that," I smirked. "I am not afraid of you!" He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "And you're afraid of death, I am death." My jaw dropped. He knows where to get me. He let go of me seeing my frightened look and looking satisfied. "But you didn't have to kill that girl for my sake. She did nothing." "Someone's going to cover up for you." He turned around and went to sit on my bed. "But I didn't kill him. There was nothing to cover up for." "Oh, dear." He said and lit his joint up. "He died." I froze. I killed someone too. I've stained my hands with blood. "Don't look too surprised and all that stunned. That's one thing you'll learn how to do and face. You've got to learn how to kill." *** Vanora Campbell's mom died leaving her with her uncaring father, she blamed her father for killing her mother and lived so carelessly thereafter. Her life turned upside down when her dad sold her to the Italian mafia boss, Zavi Covillie.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

❝Even angels have their demons.❞ An assistant in a billionaire company by day, waitress to a diner by evening and a masked pole dancer by night. Angelina Hemsworth is her name. A maiden with numerous personalities and a heartbreaker. Sylvester sellone, youngest billionaire in Voschester. He's your typical CEO with women falling at his feet. In one unfortunate incident he discovers his dearest assistant isn't so innocent. One thing led to another and suddenly, Dirty Angelina was her boss's exclusive dancer. But things didn't quite end there. Bad girl, bad girl, what are you gonna do when the billionaire wants you?

Siddharth Jindal is a young Dermatologist. He is everything a girl could want in her life partner... He is tall, dark, handsome, rich, funny, successful and has a very cool family. Girls are crazy about him but he is just friendly with everyone. Until one day when he goes to do some lighthearted friendly ragging of the freshers. Shruti Singh is a smart, confident and intelligent girl, who fights her family to make an identity of her own and becomes a doctor. She belongs to a conservative family where education for girls is not very important. They just want them to get married to a well-settled man. Siddharth likes her but she avoids him like plague due to some incident. He tries his level best to make her understand but she blocked him from her life. This keeps going on till his sister-in-law decides to play cupid. Read this book and find out how she brings them together.

"You look tired and lazy. I think you're suffering from lack of vitamin me?" ~X~ Three words are enough to describe the playboy billionaire Alexis 'X' Montemayor who owns the very successful Club inside and outside the country. Hot. Dangerous. And oozing with sex appeal. He believed that he would never find the right woman for him despite having a random geisha in his very own Club-V. Not until a woman named Minzireth Paje entered his room and asked him if she is hired or not in the middle of what he called 'play time'. Lured by her sexy smile; piercing golden brown eyes; and voluptuous body, he hired her as his sex-retary. ***** Minzireth Paje is not your typical woman. Nagtungo sa siyudad upang maghanap ng trabahong makapag-aahon sa kanila sa kahirapan at matustusan ang gamutan ng kanyang magulang na may sakit. Ngunit nagbago ang lahat ng matanggap siya bilang sekretarya ng nagmamay-ari ng isa sa pinakasikat na Club sa Pilipinas. Buong akala niya'y more on paper works; answering calls; at tamang tayo lang sa gilid ng conference room ang kanyang gagawin. Not until her playboy boss, Alexis Montemayor demands her to do her assigned job. And that was to spice his night as his sex-retary. What if she found out what was her playboy boss's dark secret? Would she be able to fulfill her duty? Or resigned, and accept the fact that she is not qualified enough to be one of his sex-retary?

My mother marries into the Patterson family with me after her divorce. She marries Thomas Patterson, the dean of a veterinary hospital. Meanwhile, I marry Walter Patterson, a firefighter captain and Thomas' son. On this day, there's a huge storm. I'm almost due for labor, but I still head to the hospital to pick my mother up after an operation. We head to the subway, but it ends up being flooded. I endure the labor contractions and call Walter with trembling hands, wanting to ask for help. He finally answers after hanging up on me 18 times. "What the hell do you want? How stupid can you be, calling me in such a huge storm? "I'm saving lives here! Tracy's foot was cut by glass while being saved, and I've just bandaged her wound. Now, I have to take her dog to Dad's hospital so he can save it. The dog is hanging by a thread; if you need help, get some other firefighter to do it! Don't pester me!" Later, the rescue team arrives. My mother and I are pushed to the back of the crowd, and people won't stop shoving us around. The floodwater rises, and I have no choice but to carry her on my back while trudging along the corridor. This continues for three hours. When we're finally rescued, my mother is already unconscious, and I end up losing my child, who's almost to term. My mother and I look at each other tearfully in the ward we share. I say, "Mom, I'm getting a divorce." She says, "It's not a big deal, sweetheart. I'll do it with you. I've done it once before—I know how this goes."

Kara Blue is a fifteen year old pariah, whom has been running away all her life after her Mom was allegedly taken away ten years ago. Ten years later and all grown up now, Kara is on a quest for answers as she dives into some personal investigation concerning her Mom's whereabouts, in the process she stumbles on some sketchy information and finds out secrets regarding her true identity and the circumstances surrounding her Father's death that changes her life forever.

An accident right from when Mark Scott was in his mother's womb granted him Electric powers. His mother died from the electrocution accident and he was born prematurely. Placed in an incubator for two months, he survived. Mark's dad discovered his son had electric powers when the former was still young. A narrow escape from the American government led them to hide and settle in an African Country, Nigeria ( His late mom's country). He concealed his powers until he reached the age Seventeen, where he had to use it in a life and death situation, which almost exposed his identity. But seems he will have to use his powers again, when Nigeria and the rest of Africa is endangered by a foreign threat.