CLOWNY MISFORTUNES

I woke up 3 days after on a strange bed in a mysterious dark hut. “Please where am I?” I asked myself after which I coughed. I was so weak; I wondered what happened to me, like my brain was reset to factory setting. A small fire was lit by a corner of the hut which gave me warmth and light. I was even wrapped in a blanket, surprising. “oh Christ, what is going on?” Suddenly I felt a sharp pain on my left knee when I tried moving only to discover it was bandaged. In my awe, the door opened and two strange women in palm fronds kinda clothing stepped in. they looked like a certain tribe I couldn’t actually remember. They spoke some language I couldn’t understand. But from the gesture, I FIGURED OUT they were glad I was still alive. They left. What had happened to me? I sat by the corner of the bed and tried t

Mama had no choice but to take me to Oga Sule the cobbler to learn the art of shoemaking. Since I was expelled from the only means of education at Shagbo, I just had to be up to something other than education that’s if I still had anything reasonable I wanted to do with my life.Oga Sule as he was fondly called was also known as Dr shoe. This was because he was highly recognized to be expertise with any form of footwear. He boasted he had a PhD in shoemaking from the University of oxford UK. He was tall, dark-skinned and handsome. And seemed his shoemaking profession has gotten him heights of good fortune. he had a very big shop at the centre of the Shagbo market where lots of apprentices and workers learnt from him. He was regarded to be the most successful in shagbo market and he was given a chieftaincy title. I’ve heard somewhere that Oga Sule can no longer perform his duty as a man. That is he cannot procreate, but he was fortunate to have given birth to a bou

“Iron sharpeneth iron so a man sharpeneth his friend’s countenance” , but I was daft. Why on earth would I be in a friendship where we both had our individual problems? Not ordinary problems, issues!!!The most Reverend father of the diocese had a public image of being the holiest man on earth. He was worshiped and his feet were kissed daily. He was regarded as the son of God by the gullible people of Shagbo. After Sunday service, people queued in front of the parish office. One by one, they entered to meet ‘HIS MOST HIGH’ to confess their sins. ‘Father forgive me’ they took turns to say this statement. I obviously had no choice but to join the ‘geng’. That expanded my capacity to engage in sinful activities, since I could just go to the parish office every Sunday and be forgiven. Even in my sins, I still had good morals and virtues. I learnt a lot from mama and I heard her imaginary voice cautioning me whenever I wanted t

I was told the Vicar was terribly sick of a cardiovascular disease the doctor called Myocardial Infarction (Heart attack). He had been rushed to the state hospital some days ago. We both decided to go pay Vicar a visit on his sick bed. Sandra and I had become close friends. Oh, you thought I didn't tell her about my clowny misfortunes? I did! You wouldn't believe it, after telling her, her love for me doubled. She became curious to know me more. An irony isn't it? We became close.We both set out to the intensive care unit of the state hospital. There we saw the vicar who was always looking hale and hearty looking so pale and sick. The sickness struck him so hard to a point he was demanding 'mercy killing' from the medical personnels. You can imagine. I felt bad seeing the man who loved me so much in such horrible state. Sandra never felt different, sadness was written all over her. He was admitted to WARD 24 where he would wait for a Coronary Bypass Surgery. We both had to s

   And so, on and on ,like the osscilation of a pendulum, the disheartening piece of my bio churned while the sands of time dripped slowly and slowly as it watched my narration irks the soul of the spectators. That I thought, but it appeared to be  nothing but a blunt lie. It was a revolving piece of gags and laughs. A piece of funny cake, a chunk of interesting cheese, a loaf of an adventurous bread and a real ginger to the spirits of the audience. They applauded. I took a decision to brighten up and go kind of complicated. I hallucinated via traveling through the roads of time to a world of hope. The hope I couldn't give probably my careful friends, you know them. I mean the ones who never fell into the snare of clowny unfortunate mishaps SANDRA, SOLOMON and IK (my fi