food jokes

Have you ever pain so raw it feels like your hear is being dragged out of your heart? The type that breaks into pieces you could never find because they are lost to the wind of scorn and shame. Cassandra carries her pain like a weight on her shoulder everyday despite her smiles and jokes, too young to remember what it felt like to have parents before she lost hers to an accident her grandparents do not like talking about she is trying to find the little good life has in store for her. But she is given a brutal awakening when the one person she thought would bring her much needed happiness tosses her aside. So Cassandra runs away from it all, she runs far enough to never feel the despair looming behind her. And she runs into the arms of Ray, handsome, cocky, but caring, considerate, and loving. Cassandra is about to find out love works without the mate ties and build bonds with the most unlikely people. Cassandra is about to find the love acceptance she always yearned for in the most unlikely place.

The supernatural world in the UK in 2023 is dramatic, filled with hostile takeovers, new developments and, unfortunately, murder. The werewolves want to establish themselves as the top of the food chain, pushing everyone else into hiding. At nearly 298 years old, Ophelia is used to things going her way. She has immaculate control, she's happy, and her life just works. She is in perfect harmony with her succubus and wolf, and is more than content with where she is. That's until Nathaniel, the heir to the local werewolf pack shoves his way back into her life, disrupting the burgeoning relationship she was already in with her head of security, Luke. With Nathaniel comes complications, both with the wolf pack and personally. The three of them need to learn to work and live together, for the safety of those around them. But can they? An alpha female, an alpha male and a beta male in a relationship is a recipe for disaster, but somehow, they need to make it work.

{SUPPORT = MOTIVATION = MORE UPDATES} Valery Hale ~ All I ever wanted was a comfortable life for me and my brother, Derek. With no parents, I had to work hard to put food on our table. Derek needs to go to school, and I need money for the never-ending bills. Just when life starts getting good, fate decides to throw in a box of scorpions. I can barely make ends meet every month, as if that isn’t hell enough. How am I supposed to make the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company fall in love with me? Did I mention he’s also an Alpha Lycan?   Nathaniel Kress ~ For generations, KressCo. has met the needs of The BloodFlame Pack. Being the next Alpha, I am to also take over as the CEO of the company, but my father won’t let me until I claim someone to replace my deceased Mate. I don’t believe in second-chance Mates and even if I did, not Valery. I should've rejected her from the start because now I can’t get her out of my head. If only I knew she wasn’t the innocent lamb she was so good at pretending to be... -- Jaden points the loaded gun at me. “Valery, you have three months to get the bastard to marry you. Succeed, and you’ll get your brother back in one piece. Fail.” My heart skips a beat at the click sound the gun makes in his hands. “Fail, and I’ll break every bone in his body, then feed him to my sharks.” He threatens with his hand outstretched to me. “It’s simple enough, so do we have a deal?” The Mafia Lord asks, his lips curving to form an evil grin. Like I have a choice. “Yes.” --

If hurting me was her aim she surely succeeded. She laughed thrilling at my silent anger. She knows I can do nothing even if I want to. I don't have a wolf and she knows it as she showed me her vicious claws. "Stand up," she ordered. Abandoning my food I scrambled up to my feet. "Very unattractive, I wonder how Krist thinks you are suitable for this job." She eyed me with disdain. I watched her pull out a blood dagger and handed it to me. Bewildered I took it. My eyes shooting a million questions at her. "Participating in the Bride Selection is just a tip in the ice," Amanda laughs enjoying my distress. "What matters is that you must kill the Alpha King Damien as soon as he marks you as his bride." I let the blood dagger fall to the ground in shock. They are sending me to kill the Alpha King Damien. Her words and her laughter rang through my thoughts. "...Kill the Alpha King Damien."

In a world where Werewolves, Vampires and other mythological creatures have evolved to not only fit in with the human world, but to run it, a young witch, raised by an erratic coven of witches finds herself an important pawn in a war that began centuries before her birth. Prudence Skov, Rue to her friends, Styria to her enemies, is charged with a mission that will most likely end in her death, but it would be the steppingstone her coven needs to turn the tide of this war in their favor, getting them one step closer to righting all that is wrong with this new world of drug dealing werewolves, business mogul vampires and the disgusting practice of human trafficking. Humans, who once fought each other to end slavery, ended back up on the bottom of the food chain when their predators, though outnumbered had learned how to blend in. Rue, ready to do whatever it takes to keep herself and her brother safe, knows that being sold into the employ of Phoenix Arizona's most eligible werewolf bachelor is necessary in accomplishing that. But when a wedge is thrown in her plans, her world balances on a precarious edge that naivety had once shielded her from. Will she take the beating of these men who think they own everything and accept her role as a pawn? Or does she have it in her to take control of her destiny, to rise from the ashes of her past and come back stronger than ever? Chaos, love, pain, loss, spicy secrets and more await you in this thrilling story of myths and dangers.

Rosie White, the only daughter of the whites who had fallen in love with her boyfriend since first grade, finally managed to date him and became his fiancé despite all the difficulties. But in the third year of their relationship, he cheated on her with an unknown woman, the truth chattering her will to love again, until she had a one-night stand with an unknown man, who pestered her to take responsibility. Rosie is the best surgeon doctor in eastern Georgia, popularly known as Miss Rose. She always appears cold-hearted and looks strong, but breaks on the inside. Being a twenty-eight-year-old spinster and having been pressured by her family to get married, the Whites were desperate to marry their daughter to someone of similar status. Mr. Logan, as Rosie calls him, is clingy as hell, and will pester her on a day-to-day basis, and finally decides to get married to him, on the premise of repaying him for rescuing her and according to the contract, divorce after after three years! But why is this man not planning to divorce at all? Who is Mr Logan? The most devilish and feared man in the United States! With so many secrets looming behind the scenes, her life is just like a Pandora's box, following the uncovering of so many truths. Excerpts “Wifey, you taste sweeter today, let me have some more.” James hugged Rosie possessively, unwilling to let the squirming woman underneath him go. “You wish! That’s what you said yesterday!” Rosie rolled her eyes and attempted to push him off her. “I’m hungry, wifey.” “There is food in the kitchen.” She stated, still typing vigorously on her laptop. “No... I want you...”

Blurb “Please, trust me Luke, I didn't poison your meal, I can't sign this divorce document” Sarah cried out with a pleading eyes. “Sign them now, or you won't like to see me in the next second” he fired, squeezing the pen into her hand. <<<<< Sarah and Luke love story was a kind all couples both young and old will live to imitate. But suddenly, Luke, who was an angel to Sarah, turns to be the demon she never knew the hatred and beat her to pulp as slight mistake. She thinks so hard of what might be wrong with him, yet she couldn't find until one when she came back from work to pick an urgent document only to see her husband and her best friend in her marital bed having sex and still got beaten for it by Luke. A life of slavery all the time, she decided to marry Luke due to the pain her manipulative stepmother had always caused her, she was happy she found a man who was ready to marry her, but then he turns to be the worst human to endure with, yet she stayed behind. Keila, her best friend who she tells her story now betrayed her, even moving in to leave with them. She was turned a slave in her husband's house while Keila made mockery of her, sometimes lies again her to Luke just to get Sarah beaten up. But what happened when Luke food was poisoned and Sarah was pointed to be the suspect? Luke decided to divorce her and move ahead with Keila life, will Sarah ever war to win him back, or will she leave? When she discovered she was pregnant, will she accept to give her baby out? All she sought was revenge and nothing more.

Melanie is her name, her brown hair has turned to black because of dirt, her brown eyes which held no emotions, she was raised like an animal, her only purpose in life is to feed and satisfy younger men’s sexual urge else she will be flogged and tortured like an animal, her senses were like that of an animal and she behaves like an animal, the only language she knows are sexual language and the only type of sounds she makes is crying and moaning. All her life she never lived like a human, she lived in a cage and eat food meant for animals, she's the greatest asset the Cougar Empire possesses because she can satisfy hundred of men in a day and won't get tired and even if she does, she would be flogged and tortured till her strength comes back. She was the best of all cougars but she get the least attention, she rarely bath…the only times they force her to bath is whenever there's job for her to deliver, she's more like an animal in human form, she eats like an animal and she's the only cougar that was kept in hostage because she can be violence when she becomes hungry, they rarely feeds her, she's always walking around with her two hands chained, and she never stand up straight like normal human beings, she always bend while walking just like animals, All her life has been hell until she met him, the man with most enchanting blue eyes, will he save her

Life was like a long thread, and the knot in it was a new beginning. Three lives. Three stories. But one shared fate. Ethan Lopez's life unraveled when he was accused of murdering Kaylee Anderson. On the day he was inaugurated as the CEO of Lopez Food Company, the murder occurred in Dylan Gabriel's penthouse, The Opulent Height. As the police continued their investigation, Ethan found himself targeted again, this time for kidnapping. This marked the beginning of the downfall of Lopez Food Company, benefiting their rival, Delish Delight Company. All evidence and leads pointed to Ethan until a new name emerged in the case: Blair Anderson, a seemingly ordinary baker at Lopez Food Company. Disclamer: R18+ This story may contain strong language, expletives, and mature content for adult readers, including themes of violence. It is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, businesses, places, or events is coincidental. This story is not intended to offend or defame any individual, entity, caste, community, race, religion, or to denigrate any institution or person, living or dead. Readers discretion is advised.

It has been years now since the wild beasts took over the world . They might look human, but do not be deceived they are monsters, and they have almost wiped out the entire human race. 'We' are part of the few surviving humans in what was once known as the United States of America. We hide ,we fight for food ,we keep each other safe, and most importantly, we do whatever it takes to survive. They call themselves 'werewolves' ,half man and half beast the most vicious monsters on this planet . Some say they were The First creatures to exist before humans and now they are back to take back the world. Some humans even worship them as Gods.Nobody knows how they came to exist or why ... maybe it's a sign... maybe this is the end of the world.