dirty tagalog jokes

Malapit na mawalan ng pag-asa si Grace sa buhay at gusto na niya wakasan ang sarili niya pero may pumigil sa kanya. Walang iba kundi si Calvin Montevista Ang lalaking magmamahal sa kanya ng totoo. Natupad ang kahilingan niyang maging masaya. Pero nagulat na lang siya isang araw isang malamig na tingin at pandidiri ang nakikita niya sa mukha ni Calvin. Para bang nabasag ang pagkatao niya pero kahit ganun nagsumikap si Grace na nararapat pa rin siya maging masaya.

Eleand Altierra considers himself the luckiest man alive. He is a young multi-billionaire business tycoon from a well-known family, and he is married to a hot supermodel. But a series of unfortunate events happen in his life—it involves him in a vehicular accident with his sister. When he regains consciousness, he is in a strange place. The creatures he sees around are not entirely human—their beauties are ethereal; some have wings and deadly weapons! He is in Erganiv. A hidden realm wherein distinct races of faeries live. Eleand needs to come back home because he is just a lowly human unfit to stay in their world. But he discovers the dark secrets lurking in his blood, and his quest for survival begins. Will he abandon his humanity? Because in this magical world, he found his mate…

Luke Cabrera is a struggling 22 year old male left with nothing but a note full of debts. Desperado na siya at sa hindi inaasahang pagpihit ng kaniyang mundo, natagpuan niya ang sarili na nag-iisa. Ang kagimbal-gimbal pa ay naubusan siya ng pagpipilian kung kaya't ganoon na lang ang pamumursigi niyang magtrabaho sa ilalim ng taong siya ring dahilan ng paghihirap niya ngayon. Sa bawat kilos niyang inuulan ng kamalasan, darating pa kaya ang inaasam-asam na suwerte?

Penelope Samiento ang isang babaeng hindi man gano'n ka talino at kagandahan ngunit siya naman ay puno ng saya, nangangarap ng isang lalaking kinahuhumalingan niya si Darrel Lim, isang vocalista ng banda sa school nila. Suplado pero gwapo at higit sa lahat matalino. Paano kaya kung pagbuklodin sila ng tadhana at itinakdang ikasal para sa isang kasunduan? Magiging masaya kaya sila sa kabila ng pagiging magka-iba?

Kilala si Stanley Martin sa pagiging babaero sa school, yung tipo na walang sineseryoso na babae at parang laruan lang para sa kanya. Well, hindi nyo sya masisisi dahil sa angkin nitong kagwapuhan na kahit sino ay talagang mapapalingon. Hanggang sa wakasan ng Ama nya ang maliligayang araw ng ipakasal sya kay Alexandra. Amasonang babae, walang inaatrasan. Hindi sya katulad ng ibang babae na kapag nasaktan ay mananahimik na lang sa isang tabi. Kapag tama ay dapat ipaglaban, bawal magpa api. Nakahanap na ba ng katapat si Stan? Magkakasundo ba ang dalawa kung salungat ang ugali nila? Abangan!!

Hindi akalain ni Mutya na magagawa nga talaga nyang pikutin ang among si Drake ngunit ngayon ay bigla na lang nabahag ang kanyang buntot at ayaw na niyang ituloy ang binabalak. Kailangan niyang makaalis ng kwarto bago pa magising si Drake. Dahan dahan niyang pinihit ang seradura ng pinto upang hindi sya makagawa ng ingay. Laking gulat na lamang nya dahil hindi pa man nya tuluyang nabubuksan ang pintuan ay may tumulak na nito mula sa labas kasunod ang maraming kislap at tunog ng camera. “Miss ikaw ba ang bagong girlfriend ni Drake Rufino?” “Nasa loob ba sya?” “Gano na kayo katagal?” Sunod sunod na katungan ng mga reporters. Sa takot ay napaurong sya. Hindi nya alam ang gagawin. Napatigil ang dalaga sa pag-urong nang bumangga sya sa matitipunong dibdib mula sa lalaking nakatayo sa kanyang likuran. Gising na si Drake. “Whats going on here?” halata sa mukha ng lalaki na bagong gising pa ito. Nakapulupot sa hubo't hubad nitong katawan ang puting kumot....

Since young, Dione Amaris has always been fascinated by supernatural creatures; vampires, fairies, werewolves and many more. Her mother always read her stories about them. Until she turn to a fully grown woman, she has collected a lot of books about them and would still read them time to time and she ends reading a book, she can’t help but think if they really do exist. And what if… they really do exist? And one of its kind has been by her side all along? Will it be a start to a something new to her life? Or… it’ll start a havoc in her life?

“We shouldn't be doing this?” I yelled at him, unaware of how close we were. “Why? Why shouldn't we?” He said, sliding his fingers into my already wet pussy. “Because I am your professor, and you are my student.” I said, trying to catch my breath as his fingers moved in deeper. “It doesn't matter. I've already made up my mind, I want you – and only you. No one else. Because to me, you're my kind of perfect.” **** Sarah Morgan, thought she had it all - a prestigious job, a handsome fiancé, and a bright future ahead of her. But when she meets Ryan, her new student, everything changes. Ryan is young, charming, and irresistibly handsome. He's everything Sarah has been trying to avoid. Yet, despite her best efforts, she finds herself falling for him. The more time they spend together, the more intense their attraction becomes. But as their feelings grow, so do the consequences. Sarah knows that giving in to this temptation would cost her everything - her job, her relationship, and her reputation. However she can't seem to help herself, even as the stakes grow higher and higher. As their relationship becomes more and more intense, they both know it's only a matter of time before it all comes crashing down. But will they be able to resist each other, or will they give in to their forbidden desires? * She is a professor. He is a student. It's wrong. She knows that. But even worse – She is his teacher. But she had come too far now and there was no going back. TRIGGER WARNING: This Book contains matured contents. Read at your own RISK!

What’s worse than hiding and using fake identity? Living in unfamiliar place filled with unfamiliar people who’s trying to get know more you. That’s what happen to Sophia Delos Ama who’s hiding in her fake identity as Faye Mckenzie. A half American, half Filipina who come home to live independently in a place where most of the citizens are old. Everyone is surprise by her sudden existence there which not part of her plan. Faye bought a house, a very old house far away from everyone. But the more she hide herself, the people get curious. She tried her very best not to get caught. Faye continuously separates herself from everyone until she met Conrad. A handsome doctor of Kennedy Town Provincial Hospital. He is tall, he’s charming, he’s everyone’s favorite in that town. A perfect man, in Sophia’s humble mind not on Faye’s. The only problem is Faye doesn’t want to be associated to anyone. Not again when all she wants is peace and harmonious life away from the ghost of her past. A wise man once said, you can only achieve peace when you let everyone in. Kennedy Town brings fatal bliss that she doesn’t want to be tainted. How will Faye do that when she don’t know how to trust again?

Rules. Kills. Ranks. Masks. Betrayals. Liars. Secrets. Haxielle Devi Grim, the secret heir of the biggest Mafia Organization- Grim Line Corporation. A typical selfish brat, cold, pyscho and troublemaker was- once again expelled because of her mistake. Her father Hades Grim sent her to their own school that has been kept as a secret to her for many years.She has one mission. Know the hidden secrets of her family and her own.Magagawa niya bang malaman lahat ng sikreto or everything will turn into dust? Welcome to Elyxir Academy!Would you like to kill?