best tagalog jokes

~HOT ROMANCE 21++~ Aku membutuhkan tubuhmu, tapi aku tidak butuh cintamu . aku membutuhkan tangisanmu , tapi aku tidak butuh ketulusan mu. dan aku membutuhkan desahanmu , tapi tidak dengan perasaanmu. "aku akan menyetubuhimu , tapi ada 1 syarat yang harus kau tahu , jangan menjerit dan merintih , atau kau akan menerima tamparan dari tanganku " ~PIERO MAGENTA D'RAJOR~ Bahkan bila kau mampu menghancurkan seluruh organ tubuhku , aku tidak peduli Karena aku RUBAH, aku punya SEMBILAN NYAWA dan aku DESPERADO yang akan bertahan oleh kegaranganmu karena sebuah alasan. "Aku masih Virgin , bisakah kau berhenti melakukan itu " ~CLORIS VENELOVE ANDERSHORT~ * Mohon bijaklah dalam memilih bacaan .. sungguh tidak di sarankan dibawah umur..* ________________________________________________

Andi Hamsa. Seorang pria tampan, mapan, dan single dengan kehidupan yang nyaris sempurna. Namun, semuanya berubah ketika seorang wanita bernama Nailah yang mengaku sebagai penjaga di salah satu panti asuhan, datang ke rumahnya membawa seorang gadis kecil. "Namanya Yaya, usianya baru tiga tahun dan ini putri Anda." Menikah saja belum dan bagaimana ceritanya bocah berusia tiga tahun ini menjadi putri Andi?

Wanita pekerja keras itu bertemu teman sekelasnya masa sekolah SD. Pertemuan mereka berawal karena seorang anak yang merupakan anak pria tersebut bersama istri pertamanya yang sudah meninggal. Bunga Bestari, wanita yang kaya akan kelembutan dan penuh tanggung jawab itu menerima tawaran ibu pria itu, Kafkha Dylantara, menjadi istri pria itu. Kafkha terpaksa menerima pernikahan itu disaat hatinya masih terpaku pada mendiang istrinya. Sukses menjadi menantu dan ibu sambungan yang diinginkan, tetapi tidak mudah bagi Bunga untuk menjadi istri yang diinginkan dokter dingin itu. Bisakah Bunga meluluhkan hati pria itu?

THEY SAID NO WAY..................... Ashton Cooper and Selena McKenzie hated each other ever since the first day they've met. Selena knew his type of guys only too well, the player type who would woo any kinda girl as long as she was willing. Not that she was a prude but there was a limit to being loose, right? She would teach him a lesson about his "loving and leaving" them attitude, she vowed. The first day Ashton met Selena, the latter was on her high and mighty mode looking down on him. Usually girls fell at his beck and call without any effort on his behalf. Modesty was not his forte but what the hell, you live only once, right? He would teach her a lesson about her "prime and proper" attitude, he vowed. What they hadn't expect was the sparks flying between them...Hell, what now? ..................AND ENDED UP WITH OKAY

PARA kay Rafael ay perpekto na ang buhay niya. Party all night, sleep all day, and life would be easy, tulad ng sa kanta. Falling in love is not on his lists. Serious relationships are not included on his vocabulary. Nasa kanya na ang lahat, from his head-turning look to his big-fat bank account and wealth ay wala na siyang hihilingin pa. SIMULA pagkabata ay nabuhay si Tamara na naaayon sa kagustuhan ng kanyang ina. Lahat ng sinasabi nito ay kailangan niyang sundin, mula sa pag-aaral hanggang sa pipiliing mga kaibigan. Magbabago kaya ang mga pananaw nila sa buhay kung mag-krus ang kanilang mga landas? Lalaking walang pakialam sa mangyayari at babaeng may kailangang mapatunayan. Magagawa ba silang baguhin ng pag-ibig?

Celeste San Pedro, a typical senior-high school student of Hirokoshi High tends to live a normal life in Tokyo City, Japan with his older brother. Her life as a student was quite okay until she started to experience weird dreams with voices calling her in an unfamiliar name. She knew that the school library she used to visit every afternoon has something to do with this paranoia. And that she came across with an old and antique book which soon became a portal to an unexisting world. She lost herself in the city and woke up as a new being living in an old town of Gokayama. Growing with strange romantic feelings for each of the four main book characters, she almost forgot that she has her own real life too outside the book. Will she be able to return or will be forever miss her home?

There's nothing more shattering than hearing that you're signed off as a collateral to marry in order to clear off your uncle's stupid debts. "So this is it" I pull the hoodie over my head and grab my duffel bag that is already stuffed with all my important stuff that I need for survival. Carefully I jump down my window into the bushes below skillfully. I've done this a lot of times that I've mastered the art of jumping down my window. Today is different though, I'm not coming back here, never! I cannot accept marrying some rich ass junkie. I dust the leaves off my clothe and with feathery steps, I make out of the driveway. A bright headlight of a car points at me making me freeze in my tracks, another car stops and the door of the car opens. There's always only one option, Run!

Walang ibang pinangarap si Sabrina kung hindi ay ang makapagtapos ang mga kapatid sa pag-aaral at hindi maranasan ang hirap ng buhay na dinanas niya. Hindi basta-bastang nagtitiwala si Lance lalo na sa mga babae dahil sa madilim niyang nakaraan na hindi niya magawang bitawan. Pero paano kung magkita sila sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon? Posible bang titibok ang puso nila sa isa't isa? Magagawa bang alisin ni Sabrina ang poot at galit na nasa puso ni Lance?Tatanggapin ba niya ang alok ni Lance kapalit ng katuparan ng kaniyang pangarap?

HAYDEN HUNTER WILLIAMS. Talented, matipuno, matalino at ubod na gwapong taga-pagmana ng Williams' business empire. Eldest son of Atalia Suarez- Williams and Hunter Williams (from the book " Famous ft Nobody"). He is like a true emperor that capable of running his own kingdom well. Wala nang kulang pa sa pagkatao n'ya. That's what he thought. He manages their businesses and anchored it to triple their already extemely vast wealth. Kaya everytime na maibalitang papasukan ng mga Williams ang isang investment, halos magkakandarapa at mag-uunahan ang mga investors na magsisipag -invest dito. He is the youngest yet the richest CEO in the business world. And he is the very last kind of person you wanna trifled with. He has no plans on getting married, but he definitely wants a child. Who could it be this lucky girl he wants to offer his seed with? Is she really lucky enough or maybe the total opposite? Find it out on how this "almost perfect" man's story unfold and how he deal the obstacles along the way. Note: This story is a sequel of my first book "Famous ft Nobody". It is a love story of Hayden's parents.

Walang ibang pinangarap si Paloma kung hindi ang maging isang kilalang modelo. Naabot na niya ang pangarap na 'yon dahil unti-unti na siyang nakikilala at nagkakapangalan sa industriya pero ang lahat ng kanyang pinaghirapan ay mawawala dahil sa isang gabing pagkakamali. Arken Fernandez is a perfectionist guy. Business minded person at priority ang kanyang trabaho. Paano kung isang gabi ay pareho silang magkamali? Papanindigan ba nila ang pagkakamaling 'yon? Mahuhulog ba sila sa isa't isa? O mananatiling lihim ang lahat ng naganap nang gabing 'yon pati na ang naging bunga nito?