actually funny jokes for adults

Rachel is about to turn 18 and set to wed the Alpha of her pack, the man every other girl wants. She knows she should be happy, and she can’t understand why, instead, she feels so confused. The Alpha is sure that Rachel is his mate. So why isn’t Rachel certain that they are destined for each other? With her birthday and wedding just days away, Rachel can’t handle the pressure of her swirling emotions. She flees to the forest, to clear her mind—but accidentally leaves her pack’s borders. She enters a rogue’s territory and finds herself face to face with a dangerous rogue. He is a boy unlike any she’s ever met, with eyes so hypnotizing she can barely breathe. Her entire body trembles as she looks into those eyes. She knows that to love him would be strictly forbidden, would go against everything she was raised to be. But she can’t deny her feelings. Has she finally found her true mate?

*Excerpt* My gaze met Sergio's. He didn't look away. I couldn't look away either. It felt like there was an invisible magnet pulling us towards each other. He looked away, breaking us from the trance. "Are you sure you're okay, Nicole?" "Come inside." He shook his head. "I was worried, and—" "Come inside, let's talk." He shook his head again, unyieldingly. "We're already talking." "Are you scared?" I asked in a challenging voice, my gazed fixed on him. "What are you so scared of?" "Nicole..." "To answer your question, no, Sergio, I'm not okay." "What's bothering you?" The vulnerability in his eyes towards me was palpable. It was my chance to act. I couldn't afford to waste it. "You," I replied, my gaze still boring into his. "And your fiancee. I couldn't bear watching you together." Sergio swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I was jealous, Sergio." • *Blurb* In a turn of events, Juliana bears witness to the brutal murder of her father—a sight she never thought she'd witness. Amidst the turmoil, she finds out she's their next target, but somehow, she manages to evade them. Determined to seek closure and justice for what happened to her father, Juliana takes on a new identity as Nicole and embarks on a quest for vengeance against the masterminds. With a heart hardened by grief, she takes on the journey. A journey that would test her limits and push her to do unthinkable things. Will she succeed? Follow her on this journey as she confronts the demon of her past.

Elle Langford was once the most dedicated hardworking werewolf in her pack. She used to have many friends and was respected by all. They were her priority and she didn't even have time to look for her mate. Yet when she felt her bond with her mate break, everything turns awry in her world. The next thing she knew, she was pulled down from grace, marked as the pack slut, and banished from the place she once called home. Rules were set once they were accepted into another pack. Elle never saw the outside world again nor was she fortunate to have another mate. She watched as everyone in the pack mated, have pups, and lived happily in the pack. She was left with no mate or anyone to feel the spark with. However, what happens when her Alpha sent her to another territory for the first time on pack business? Will she be able to find another mate? Or is it true that her mate died? ~~~ Book 1: A Mate For The Latecomer Book 2: Rejecting Your Rejection Book 3: Lie To Me Alpha ~Unfollow My Heart~ Veronica

BLURB:    Nathan's mother exclaimed, "It would be best if you left as you bring nothing but trouble. Additionally, kindly take all your belongings with you." The hostility in her eyes was evident, which was a stark contrast to the love that she previously had for me. These were the same eyes that reminded me of Nathan, my dear lover who had valiantly sacrificed himself for my safety as well as ours.   **** Anita, a Blood Fang wolf, finds herself welcomed into a new family when she is taken in by Natalie. However, tragedy strikes when Natalie's son, Nathan, passes away, leaving Anita heartbroken. In her grief, Anita is blamed by Natalie for her son's death, leaving her with nowhere to go as she is sent out of the house. The situation is emotionally charged, and the future for Anita remains uncertain.   ***    The statement “Come live at the pack house with me” was met with a cold and resistant response from the me. There was a strong sense of bitterness and hatred towards the person who made the offer, who I believed to be responsible for the death of my beloved Nathan. Although there was no other place to go, the reluctance to live in the pack house was apparent, as it was as the abode of a devil.            

"I'm Aiden Hart's secretary!" I shrieked over the phone. "Calm down, Charlie. It can't be that bad." I heard amusement in Emily's voice. My roommate's attitude did nothing to soothe my nerves. "It's not bad; it's a disaster!" I convinced. "I can't work for someone as hot as him! I can't breathe around him!" I might have been on the verge of a panic attack. I was supposed to work for his father, the well-respected sixty-eight-year-old Alexander Hart, not his youngest son! This wasn't what I agreed to! Less than a month ago, my dear friend died while working at Hart Global Corporation as the CEO's secretary. Now, I was about to replace her while investigating the truth behind her death. I thought I was prepared to enter the snake's nest, but I clearly underestimated the enemy… Aiden Hart was the purest embodiment of my sexual fantasies, and believe me, after four sexless years, I had more than too many of them twirling inside my brain. Every day, I found my boss more and more alluring, and I could only protect my weak heart by repeating my newly created mantra... "Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart."

Dylan Walker is one of New York city's richest businessmen. He has the reputation of being a ruthless businessman, and as hot as he is so is he arrogant, proud, and a full-time Casanova but not heartless though... His whole business carrier is at stake and the only thing that can save it is something he doesn't see himself doing. Getting married... Dylan turns to Lorraine, who isn't the regular woman he'll go for, she's beautiful and feisty with a voice men call 1-900 numbers to hear. Dylan offers her ten million dollars for a one-year contract. And there's nothing indecent about this proposal. The money will help with her family's bills. All Lorraine will need to do is keep her attraction to her new husband to herself and avoid his bed. But Dylan's toe-curling kisses and sexy charm prove too difficult for Lorraine to resist. It was a marriage contract that planned for everything...except falling in love.

My life had never been more miserable until the day I witnessed my stepsister, Elise, getting married to my boyfriend, Miguel Hernandez - on the very same day I assisted a homeless-looking man. To make matters worse, I had to offer myself as property of El Diablo, the most ruthless mafia lord in the city, to save my father's life. After being auctioned off by El Diablo, I discovered that my new master was the homeless man I assisted - Gabriel, who also happened to be Elise's ex-boyfriend and Miguel's sworn rival. As the saying goes, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” and I didn't just find a friend in Gabriel, but also a contract husband. However, I had a probation period of two months to fully become a property of Gabriel else, I would be returned to El Diablo. What happens when the probation period is over and feelings start to creep in? Will Gabriel still regard me as a worthy candidate for the contract marriage?

Lei is a modern woman who’s in need of so much money. Why? Because she wants money. Not to buy clothes she needs. Not to get a house nor a car. Just… money. She works at a fine night bar where she dances and entertains guests. But would you believe that Lei is still a virgin? She is. A twenty-one year old girl who entered the dark side of life at a very young age just because she wants to be rich. Almost five years of being a dancer, she’s still not satisfied. Until she met a rich man at the bar who offered her an agreement to pay her double salary just to have sex with him regularly without the expectation of a romantic relationship. His fuck buddy.

His hands covered her boobs and she began to tremble. “You are so beautiful." Knox said with his eyes on her just studying her body. "Knox...I think we...shouldn't...” Eretia paused. "Do you want me to stop?" Knox asked. Eretia stared at him. Her nipples going hard and her belly quivering. "Why do...you want...to do this?" “I want you to have a desire to comeback here when you return to your world." Knox answered with sincerity in his tone. “But—“ He brushed his mouth against hers cutting off her intended words. His hands gently cupping her breasts. “This is your first right? Or am I wrong?" He asked amidst kisses. “No...no...I haven't...done it with anyone.” Eretia stuttered. “Same here." Knox coaxed. Meet Knox Martins, a billionaire and who also happens to be a big time celebrity. You see, Knox Martins is stone-headed and cold-hearted. He hates to hear the word “love.” He despises his mother for just one reason - he believes that she killed his father even though he had crashed in a plane that had killed a thousand of people. Eretia, a mermaid, a lady of the ocean who has special singing powers that is enough to hear the words of the sea. She washes up to the shore of a sea, injured and alone - far away from home. She is found by a young surgeon who is kind enough to bring her into his home. And soon enough, Knox Martins meets Eretia who happens to be a hired maid by his mom after she makes a deal to reconcile both mother and son. Will the relationship between the earth and the sea ever get the chance to bloom? Or will it whither away when they are apart in their separate worlds.

It's been four years since Bianca Moretti's Dad passed away. Her mom decided to get married to a man she felled in love with, the Rossi family. Bianca wasn't in support with it till she met her stepbrother. Emilio Rossi, the first child and only son of Alejandro Rossi. Emilio is a good example of introvert, he doesn't talk that much. He only cares about his three little sisters after their Mom abandoned them a long time ago. He's arrogant, hot-tempered and rude. After seeing he new stepsister, he knew that he had to be careful.