actually funny jokes for adults

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Seven Classic Faery Tales are given a very adult makeover. You are entering a world of myth, magic, and Immortals. Throw in the humans for the added spice of erotica and violence. Mix together and you have dark adult faery tales ........ Do not read if easily offended!

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

"..as you can see from the title.. it's our last letter for you..", mom is sobbing as dad said that and he pulls my mom closer to him and kissed her temple, normally I would gag at their affections but this time I couldn't bring myself to do that. ".. we know you had so many questions you want to ask us about.. but time is still time.. we're mortal.. we can't run from it.. like we can't reach the edge of the universe no matter how much speed and power and technology we have today..", he then pauses.

Andrew Lloyd supported Christina Stevens for years and allowed her to achieve her dream. She had the money and status, even becoming the renowed female CEO in the city. Yet, on the day that marked the most important day for her company, Christina heartlessly broke their engagement, dismissing Andrew for being too ordinary.  Knowing his worth, Andrew walked away without a trace of regret. While everyone thought he was a failure, little did they know… As the old leaders stepped down, new ones would emerge. However, only one would truly rise above all!

Usually, they say don't mess with the seniors especially when he held the whole authority of your life. For you, life is a fairy tale until you start college. And once you start your college life, your dreamland would have to come to end or else someone would put end cards by force. College is where friends turned out to be complete strangers and outsiders become friends. New life, new attitude, and new personalities gradually come to eat you when you become the target of the most popular guy in the college.It may lead your life to heaven or worst to hell. Here what she might be destined to get?~~~Sheila is an Indian girl who belongs to a rural society has a very happy life with her family. She is not allowed to have any boyfriend, that's how her parents raised her as it's their culture but she was very determined to find her well-wisher. But her life turned upside down when she got the chance to study in one of the famous colleges 'St. Xavier's Catholic College of Engineering' in India.Harry, whose life is full of secrets, is not fond of any new friendships. He always stands away when it comes to new people but he has a valid reason behind his attitude. Karl, he has the power to control everything especially everyone in the college. He rules everyone including his seniors too. He gets everything with the snap of his finger. He is another meaning of arrogant who never fails to make anyone's life miserable. What will happen when these three peoples are destined to meet in different circumstances? Who will have her at the end? Read the story and find out. -----------------------------------------

Felicity McCarthy and orphan young girl who was raised by her aunt after the loss of her parents and was pampered and loved by her. But due to the shock she sustained in the accident, she was like a child even at twenty four years. Raymond Baldwin, a cold, rich, self centered aloof businessman who cares about nothing but his business and anything that will give him more money. Unfortunately, things got difficult when his grandparents refused to handover their multi billion dollar company to him unless he finds a bride. Raymond decided to rent a bride for a year in order to win them over. What will happen when a cute, childish bride marries a cold aloof groom?

[WARNINGMATURED CONTENTS! RATED 18] -----~[[AMELIA]~----- ~AND I KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING ISN'T RIGHT BUT NO ONE ELSE TOUCHES ME LIKE YOU DO~ In the small, picturesque town of Willowbrook, eighteen-year-old Amelia Thompson finds herself caught in a tempestuous and forbidden romance that could tear apart her friendships and shatter her world. "SIN FOR ME" tells the gripping tale of Amelia's struggle to navigate her burgeoning feelings for her best friend's father, while he becomes increasingly obsessed with her. Amelia has always admired Mr. Daniel Mitchell from afar. As a well-respected businessman and devoted father, he exudes charm, intelligence, and mystery. But when Amelia's feelings for him evolve from innocent infatuation to something deeper and more complex, she is consumed by guilt and conflicted emotions. Determined to suppress her forbidden desires, she resolves to distance herself from him and protect her best friend, Lily, from the truth. However, Mr. Mitchell isn't willing to let Amelia go. As the lines blur between love and obsession, he becomes relentless in his pursuit, determined to make Amelia his own. His dangerous infatuation threatens to unravel Amelia's carefully constructed world, and she finds herself torn between her loyalty to Lily, her desires, and the potential consequences of their illicit romance. As the story unfolds, Amelia is faced with difficult choices, heart-wrenching betrayals, and an undeniable attraction that she cannot ignore. She grapples with her moral compass, societal expectations, and the taboo nature of their relationship, all while desperately trying to protect the people she loves. "SIN FOR ME" is a gripping tale of forbidden love, exploring themes of desire, loyalty, and the consequences of succumbing to our deepest passions. Will Amelia find the strength to resist the allure of an illicit romance, or will she succumb to the intoxicating power of forbidden love?

Robbie Garvie and Samantha (Sam) Laplow have always been best friends until Sam returns home from her study abroad program engaged. Shocked, jealous, and confused Robbie joins the army to escape his emotions and hide the truth of his father's death. Will their friendship survive the hardships of adulthood or will they be forced to go their separate ways?

Stella was a product of a domestic violence family. Watching her parent fight was an immense, heartbreaking, seasonal film, that resulted in a tragic end when her mother's life was cut short in one of their fatal fights. Getting married to Richard Jacob made a considerable difference from the one her parents had. It was blissful, peaceful, and full of Nirvana until Bella Jonathan walked into their lives. Their life took a drastic turn when Stella fell into a tricky trap, which was likely to tear her family apart or worse become a vast menace to her health. Overcoming the thorny phase in their union seems impossible as their source of difficulty kept amplifying and the chances of their marriage withstanding it was slim. In what case do you think it is advisable to stick to the vow of "For Better or Worse? Will Stella's marriage survive these hard times even though she's a marriage counselor?"