actually funny jokes for adults

“I will always remind you about this, I am not your husband, and I will never be yours. The only reason why I’m even here in the first place is because of that little bun in your tummy. So get that straight.” He said to me and walked out. It took the will in me not to break down. A one-night stand. Two drunk individuals, what more could go wrong? It came as a shock to Dalia when she woke up and found herself in the same hotel room as the client she and boss had come to convince to sign a contract deal. Dalia and Eros, the hot billionaire tycoon, decide to keep a secret and never speak about what had happened that night. That is, until a baby shows up and Eros and Dalia are forced to get married. Now, it is left to Dalia to figure out a way to deal with the troubles that come with being the wife of a billionaire.

After the mysterious death of her parents, Portia Esmeralda is bullied into a contract marriage by her two elder brothers who once loved her. But things start going pretty downhill when on her wedding day, the groom is nowhere to be seen and the guests are all killed. As well as her evil brothers. In order to end what would become a generational feud, and save her ill nephew, Portia agrees to marry Callahan Scarfoni - the monster who ruined her day and killed her terrible brothers. Callahan is a man scarred by his past and thirsty for revenge. His sole plan? Finish off the Esmeralda family till no one is left. Just like how they didn't spare his many years ago. But there's just one Esmeralda he just couldn't hurt, no matter what. Portia. She's his to tame. She's his possession, to own and protect.

Blurb: Artemis Vincent's life was pretty much bad before but as if the universe wanted to make things worse her father, mother and died in a car accident, leaving her alone in their house not long she is sent packing by the landlord as she could no longer fend for herself. Artemis started to hustle even just to eat. She goes to a restaurant one day, sees a gold watch, and steals it. Unknown to her the gold watch belongs to one of the most powerful men in California. When Artemis is caught, she is given a choice. Rot in jail or be the mistress to this powerful and utterly ruthless man.

"There will come a time when this ugly and cruel fellow will bow at my feet and feel honored to be in the same place as me, breathing in the same air as I'll be doing. You wrote this?" asked Alpha Benna. Kiara remained silent. "I want to hear it from your own lips, Kiara Yezus. Do you want your life to be ruined? I'll have you tortured to the extent that you'll beg for death." He meant it. In this mind-gripping novel, Kiara Yezus, after escaping her cruel father's clutches, wages an epic war with her new alpha, who bought her as his slave. While running for her freedom, she stumbles upon a ruthless Lycan prince. "Bear me a child, Kiara, and I'll turn your dream into reality." He proposed a deal. Will Kiara be able to bear an heir to the Lycan and get her freedom? Find out! You can read my other books as well. Rejected (Completed although abandoned halfway) Luna Returns (Completed) The lycan series consisting of two books Book 1: Banished by Her Cruel Alpha King(Completed) ; Book 2: Vengeance on the Cruel Alpha King (Ongoing)

Cassandra Jones was without a mate for a very long time until she attended a moonlit party and fell in love with a Lycan, Lucian. The feeling was mutual and without hesitation, they got married. However, their wedding night took an unexpected turn when Cassandra woke up the next morning, realizing she had not been intimate with her husband, but with a complete stranger. Who is this stranger? What factors contributed to her inability to recognize that it wasn't her husband? What happens when she gets pregnant and isn’t sure of who owns this baby?

Charles Dominique Williams, Mr. "Falling in love with your best friend is unacceptable," deals with his ex-best friend 3 years after he rejected him. A messed-up destiny plays with them one more time. But this time, Charles' ex-best friend would not accept no for an answer. Hopefully, at this moment, Charles might finally give them a chance, only if it is not too late for them.

Aurelia wakes up in the bed of a mysterious blonde after hanging out with her boyfriend and getting drugged. She later finds out that she had subconsciously escaped being raped by her boyfriend and had lost her virginity to the blonde, who had mistaken her for an escort. All of these discoveries lead her to break up with her boyfriend and search for a job to support herself, as her entire life until now had revolved around him. She luckily secures a job as an office assistant and eventually finds out that she is pregnant by her one-night stand. Determined to locate her baby’s father, she discovers that he is none other than her boss. How will her boss handle the revelation that the "escort" who gave him the most enjoyable night of his life is actually his office assistant—and now pregnant with his heir?

Being the mutt loathed by your Alpha family, you were forced to take your pregnant sister's place in the ruthless Lycan king's bride selection. To survive, you tried to escape, only to crash right into his muscular, towering frame. Everyone thought you were dead for sure. But wait, you're not just his mate?! You also look exactly like his beloved ex-wife?!

Jamie is a lonely girl running from monsters of her nightmares. Desperate, she disguises herself and becomes the only girl in an all-boys boarding school. The problem? in the mysterious and formidable Ironcrest Academy, she is not the only one with a secret identity … but more? Will her true identity be safe, and can Jamie survive the training to uncover the mystery of what killed her family?

My parents separated last year. But we are very close to each other, my parents used to be best buddies before they got together. My mom's name is Rose Kings and my father's name is Gabriel Kings. My parents are very wealthy and my mom is the President and CEO of a 5-star Hotel and restaurant, my dad is the president and CEO of a hospital name Thomas clinic. Will he give up on chasing her or will he fall for his maid he knows nothing about.