Alle Kapitel von Loving The Mafia King: Kapitel 1 – Kapitel 10

~ RICHIE’S POV The most unspoken part of love is the undeniable feeling you get when they move on but you don’t. That feeling that makes you feel like a victim, even when you’re not. I know I’m not the victim and I know I’m not the one whose heart was betrayed but I just can’t help but feel completely broken. My heart gets hurt every single day and it only gets worse when I think about how and why Rachel moved on. It’s not like I want her to keep hurting…. no, I don’t want that but at the same time I don’t want her to let go of me. I want every moment, every memory, and every single emotion we shared to stay in her heart just like it is in mine. I feel my eyes fills up with tears as I read every single word of Rachel's letter. "I love you so much, Rach," my heart whispers along with my mouth. Just like every day, I read her letter and it makes my heart swell up with hope- the hope that makes me smile thinking that Rachel is going to come back to me and we will be together forever

~ RICHIE I find the saying that men don't have feelings ridiculous because they do. It might not be vivid nor accurate but they do get hurt, they do cry and most importantly, their heart bleeds too Every night, I find myself seeking solace in the burning sensation of alcohol, hoping it will numb the pain in my heart. But no matter how many shots I take, it never seems to work. Tonight is no different. I'm sitting in this dimly lit bar, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. The empty shot glasses in front of me are evidence of my attempt to drown my sorrows. I reach for the last shot and catch the bartender's attention. "Five more shots, please?" I mutter, my voice heavy with desperation.The bartender acknowledges my request and in a minute or less, he comes back with the shots and as I reach to take it, a hand races me. "I think I will take that," Elsa says, reaching for the shots.I shoot her a piercing glare, questioning her presence. "Why are you here?" I ask, my voic

~ RACHEL Imagine being so broken that you don’t just disbelieve in love but also accept that you’re not destined to be loved and be in love again. People tell me that I need to work on my broken heart but I don’t think my heart is broken, I believe it’s my soul. It’s shattered completely. So this is not a heartbreak story but a soul-break story. Richie broke my soul and now the shattered pieces of it are trying to mold back but with hate, not love. I never knew I had this rage and evil in me until I saw him again after two years. It feels surreal that he’s here, standing feet’s away from me. The glimmer of the sun shines on his emerald skin making his glorious blue eyes glow in a way I’ve never seen before. It makes my heart want to mold back for him. It makes me want to pull him to me, to make him mine again and forgive everything he did but at last, my unforgiving soul says otherwise. It’s inching to make him feel what I’ve been feeling, make him hurt just so I could have a reas

No one ever talks about the feeling you get when you finally meet your past but I will. It hurts even if it’s been years. It’s itches you to go back to those memories even though in between them was pain. It makes your heart feel like it’s going through a ponder of emotions that you can never comprehend. I am going through that and I feel stuck in a complete dilemma unable to understand the arching sprint of emotions inside of me.Honestly, I thought I am ready for this. I thought I am so strong that meeting Richie or even speaking to him wouldn’t get to me but clearly it did and it’s arching way more than I expected it to. I sigh heavily, needing to get those feelings out of my system. For an escape, I decide to roll down the window to get a breath of fresh air but instead of that, all I got is a lungful of exhaust fumes and the hustle and bustle of the city. A complete human pollution. I groan in frustration and just as I am about to give up and roll up the window, my eyes lands on

I find myself standing before the mirror, my gaze fixed on the reflection staring back at me. Tilting my head to the side, I study every detail of my appearance. I like what I see but I don’t like the feeling of burn flaming inside of me. My stomach feels all knotted up, and my heart is racing like it's fighting to keep going.Today is supposed to be a happy day for both me and Dad but I don’t feel happy. I feel numb and completely empty, this is not how I’m supposed to be feeling, at least not today considering today is the day I finally give everything I have to Dad. After what he’s been through for the past ten years, I owe him the world and I thought that when the day of his “веха” comes and I celebrate him most radiantly, I will finally fill the void in my heart but instead, I feel a deep sense of contemplating as if this party is not going to go as planned. Emotions swirl within me and I can’t comprehend what I’m actually feeling. On one hand, there is an overwhelming desire to