All Chapters of Keeping Score: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

QUINN"Some people think they're so much better than the rest of us. So much smarter." The voice behind me was all too familiar. A mix of apprehension and annoyance flooded my mind. Trish Dawson. Perfect. Just who I needed to deal with today. Clenching my jaw and kept walking. I'd learned through painful experience that ignoring girls like Trish was the only way to deal with them. It didn't make them stop, and it definitely didn't make me feel better, but pretending they didn't exist let me hold onto some dignity. "Hey, queer queen. I'm talking to you." She was closer to me than I'd thought, and so I wasn't ready when she reached around and knocked the notebooks out of my arms. I felt my face go hot as I stopped to pick up the books. This wasn't my first experiencing with being bullied; I figured they'd laugh and move away. But this time, they didn't. Trish and the other three girls formed a small, tight circle around me, all of them smirking. "What's the matter, queen

NATE"Nate. Hello? Earth to Nathaniel. Your mother's been talking to you for the last five minutes." I glanced up from my plate. "What?"My parents exchanged a look I was all too familiar with: worry and anxiety thinly veiled with amusement. They were wondering if me being preoccupied meant something was brewing inside me, something that could threaten my health and possibly land me in the hospital for days. And of course, along with that concern came the fear that this could be a symptom that my disease was progressing. I knew it was what they dreaded. Hell, I did, too. I'd been maintaining for so long, rolling along on a careful regiment of meds, monitored exercise and an enforced eight hours of sleep each night. It would be easy to fall into the trap of complacency, but after seventeen plus years of battling this motherfucker, health was nothing I ever took for granted. "I'm fine." I stressed the two words. "I feel great. Not hiding anything. I'm just in a bad mood. You gu

LEOUp until junior year of high school, I'd been pretty good about limiting my partying to Friday and Saturday nights. During football season, of course, Coach was strict about us sticking to a curfew during the week leading up to a Friday night or Saturday afternoon game. But there were ways around that, and I'd become an expert in figuring out those ways. This week, we were playing on Saturday, which meant no one was too worried about Thursday night. I used the excuse of a history group project meeting to convince my parents I needed to be out. In the interest of maintaining plausibility, I did go to the meeting, made some contributions ...and then when it ended, I headed over to Matt's house.Matt Lampert and I had been buddies for years. Not close friends, like Nate and Quinn and me, but more casual-the way only boys seem to be able to manage. We didn't have deep conversations, but we played baseball or soccer or football together-pick-up games, usually-and joked around, like

QUINNI fled down the hallway of the hospital and out the automatic doors into the waning afternoon sun. The air was chilly, and I shivered, wrapping my arms around my waist as I leaned against the bumpy stucco wall. My throat was tight with tears, but dammit, I wasn't going to cry. Not here, not where Leo might see me. I wasn't stupid. I'd known for a long time that this guy who wore my best friend's face and spoke with his voice wasn't the same sweet boy I'd known forever. No matter how much I lied to myself, no matter how many times I searched for any hint that Leo was still in there, it was time to face facts once and for all. Leo wasn't my friend. He wasn't Nate's friend, and even though he'd rescued Nate today, the sooner we accepted that truth, the sooner we could move on. Forget him. Pain held a vice-grip on my heart. For me, losing Leo meant more than just having one less friend. It also spelled the death of the dream that someday, he might be even more. I couldn't rememb

NATEI'd had some killer headaches in my day, thanks to the side effects of medication and other treatments, but this one was a definite contender for the worst one. I lay in my hospital bed, staring at the ceiling tiles and waiting for the dose of painkiller I'd just been given to take effect. "Nate." Quinn's voice was soft and questioning; she wasn't sure if I were truly awake or not. I steeled myself against the pain and turned my head just a little to track her movement toward me."I'm awake." My voice sounded faraway and kind of slurred. Yeah, maybe those meds were kicking in, after all."My mom and I are going to leave in just a minute. Is there anything ...do you need anything before I go?"I managed a smile. "Nah, I'm good." My lips felt dry and numb, and I licked them, wondering idly if Quinn might be turned off by dry lips. Should I ask her? No, I decided. I shouldn't point out any of my deficiencies, on the off chance she might not notice. "Okay. Well ...I guess I'