All Chapters of Colors: Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

Do u still luv mi?? I sent the message forty-five minutes ago and it was marked read a few minutes after I sent it but it has yet to be answered.  It's been a week since Nicholas broke up with me and I haven't heard a word from him. His silent treatment is starting to worry me because it's so unlike him. Nicholas and I have broken up multiple times in the past and during all those times he's never been able to stay away from me. His jealousy and possessiveness wouldn't let him and I liked that. I liked knowing that his feelings for me were so strong that he couldn't stay away from me no matter how mad he was. But this time is different, he hasn't reached out to me, not even to fight, and I fear it's because he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. The thought that Nicholas has suddenly stopped loving me is driving me crazy.  I know it sounds a little dramatic but Nichol

Perfect. If I had to pick my mother's favourite word it would be perfect. She uses it in all her interviews especially when she's talking about her perfect husband, perfect family and of course, her perfect daughter. I suppose everything is perfect for her, but only on paper because her daughter has far too many inner demons to be her 'perfect' little angel. Here I am, Ashley Parker, the daughter of an award winning journalist and respected district attorney, on the floor of the school toilet with my fingers in my mouth as I try to force myself to throw up every last bit of food I unfortunately had to swallow at my mother's dinner party last night. It's not an easy task but I'm motivated enough to go through with it and besides, I have done this so many times I'm practically a pro.  After I'm done, I get off the floor and start to make my way to the sinks so I can clean myself up. 

I don't believe in superheroes or guardian angels. I learnt from a very young age that believing there's someone out there looking out for you will get you nothing but disappointment as life will walk all over you nomatter what you believe in. But I trust my father one hundred percent and if I was a believer I would call him my guardian angel but it probably wouldn't be accurate, because my father is a ruthless tyrant.  Unlike most parents, my father has never let me down, he's never lied to me and he readily gives me what I ask for. And that's what I'm counting on in this moment as I enter his home office. "Father," I say as I walk further into his office. My dad looks up from his laptop, his face seemingly emotionless but I know better. "Mckayla." "I need to talk to you." I get straight to the point. "Can't it wait?" "I'm afraid it

Today started out as a good day, very good in fact I would say I was genuinely in good spirits.  So how did I get here, how did I go from on top of the world happy to lying on my bathroom floor crying, and wondering how to quickly and painlessly kill myself? Well let's start from the beginning, shall we. I woke up in a relatively good mood today. Recently I have been in a good place. My friends have been really good to me and it's been fun and somewhat normal hanging out with them. Aside from my little panic attack and losing my journal, everything has been perfect. But I can't give all the credit to my friends. They are great, yes, but he's on another level. Mr Zukov, my guidance counselor slash English teacher has been amazing on a whole another level. A big part of why I have been in a really good place recently has to do with him. He's the best kind of therapy, everytime I think about our sessions or him coming

It's official, I have lost my mind. I have always judged and frowned upon people who are stupid enough to send nude pictures to their lovers. It's always amazed me how someone can be so naive to believe that those 'proof of love' pictures will not be spread around. And now I have joined the list of those naive and stupid fools who buy into the whole thing that sending naked pictures is evidence of undying love.  But I'm no idiot and I'm definitely not perfecting professional nudes for Blake Hamilton because of undying love or naivety.  One could argue that I'm doing it for money and to also get back at my judgemental friend and they would be right, but if I'm being honest I'm doing it because I want to. I'm having the time of my life, the money and teaching Mckayla a lesson is just an added bonus. You are perfect. Send more pictures. Even when he's texting he's still de