All Chapters of a drink we call loneliness: Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

Sam I wake up feeling uneasy before my alarm goes off. There’s a feeling in my stomach that I can’t shake, like something is terribly wrong. I sit up quickly and try to make sense out of my room. It’s still dark outside. I pat on the bed, searching for Theo, and his absence scares me. He never wakes up before I do, not even when I sleep in on Sundays. My eyes burn a little as I squint and try to see if he’s in the bathroom, but from my bed, I can see the door is open and there’s no light coming from the inside. I’m up in a second, throwing on a sweatshirt from my pile of clothes and heading outside of my bedroom to find him. He’s not in the hallway, and he’s not at his keyboard. My chest feels tight, fear cooling my veins. What if he’s lost? What if he’s hurt? What if he left me. The long curtains in the living room flail around and catch my eye. The balcony is open wide. I spot him outside, sitting in one of the plastic chairs. He’s wearing my black

SamAfter the ceremony, we’re back in the Oblinger Mansion. Well, this is the second Oblinger mansion I've been to. His cousin's childhood home is beautiful and massive. The style is quite different from Theo’s childhood home, though. His is filled with dark wood and burgundy wallpaper and all sorts of dark accents, and this one has more of a French feel to it. The walls are white, carved in wood at the trimmings, and the ornamentation is either golden or made of light wood. This one resembles more of a big farmhouse. When I asked him about it, Theo said his uncles are old farmers, that sort of old money country people so that’s where the difference lies. It’s all very opulent, anyway.In no way, shape or form do they resemble the dingy care homes I grew up in, where we shared a toiled for ten people and hand rusty bunk beds with mattresses filled with bedbugs. I don't think he wants to hear all of that, though. At least not at a wedding.

Sam“Hey, you got lost for a bit,” I say near his face, “Everything okay?”He nods weakly, “Tiptop. Let’s dance, baby.”He doesn’t give me a chance to reply as he drags me to the dance floor, right where Bryce is handing out shots. My friends are with him, screaming and dancing. They’re all pissed. They’re dancing like the world is going to end tomorrow. So, we join them.Theo is doing his best to follow along, but I can tell his heart is not in it. I can tell something is wrong by the frown that is marrying his beautiful face, but he refuses to call it a night, so I try to make the best of it, participating in group photos and whatnot. Still, it’s hard to get him to crack a real smile.I guess he’s saving whatever is bothering him for a more private setting, but I wish I knew what's wrong right now.TheoIt’s the end of the party, and everyone has either go

SAMIt's immensely pleasing to watch him get excited as the days go on. We have been sitting at my kitchen table for a few hours, a piece of paper between us, and a couple of pens scattered around. Theo is biting his lip, trying to make sense of the itinerary we've drawn up.It's not like I know a lot about travelling overseas, but I've taken to the task of doing all the research possible so we can plan the best trip possible for him. Once we finished with breakfast, we went took Muppet out for a long walk and then just set up our little planning station. It's been so long that I'm getting hungry again now.I lean forward and draw a circle around Chicago."So, this would be around the halfway point. Near the Holidays. I've read it gets mad cold there by the end of the year,"He nods and a slow, careless grin appears on his face, "Well, it's not like London's a tropical wonderland by Christmas. I should be able to adapt accordingly.""I mean,

Theo The waitress places a tall cappuccino on my table next to the window. I dump two packets of sugar in it, smiling at the thought of Sam's appalled facial expression every time I did this in front of him. It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve been away and my feelings are all over the place, as usual. Part of me misses him every second of the day. In hindsight, being glued to him right before I left wasn’t a smart thing to do. I wouldn’t have done things any differently if I was given the chance. The other part of me has been completely immersed in the culture, going to every museum I can, checking out local universities, and reading as many novels as I can. I even played an old piano at a bar I was in just last night. I don’t know why I did it. I guess it had been a while, and it made me happy seeing the crowd get into the music and request their favourite songs. Mostly, they were classics, so it was like being back at George's Club minus