Bella I - I had no idea how the slip up happened but it did , all of a sudden my insecurities that should have been locked and thrown , once again surged to the surface after the fiasco with my mother and aunt . I knew in my heart that what I and Jacob had wasn’t normal , our mutual attraction , the way my body reacted towards him and the fact that I wanted to keep him all to myself , to possess and own - that wasn’t normal at all . I loved him and so did he , in all our ifs and buts , I wanted Jacob to come bare to me , I wanted him to unravel every single thing about him to me but the truth was - I wasn’t doing the same , I was selfishly holding myself back because somewhere in my heart , I still felt that I wasn’t up to the mark , that I wasn’t enough for him . Jacob was right I didn’t completely placed my trust in him . God , I was such an asshole , I felt like one and I knew I gotta solve this one on my own because it
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