Chapter Two: Her Failed Audition

Everyone has those days when everything just feels wrong.

To Astrid, those days had become weeks and eventually, months. Since her break up with Jerome became public, it was like she had become completely irrelevant in the industry. Despite her best attempts in landing roles, going from one audition venue to another day after day, it just seemed like there was always someone better.

This time, Astrid was sitting in a hallway, auditioning for an unknown production’s indie film. Or was it a student film? Either way, she needed to make bank somehow.

So, there she was, sitting in a hallway along with three other hopefuls who took their own corners as they practiced their lines relentlessly—except for one. One girl stared at her with a scrutinizing gaze, making Astrid squirm slightly in her seat. If there’s one thing that she hated from her short-lived fame, it was the staring.

Astrid tried to focus her attention on her screenplay, but she couldn’t help but steal a glance at the girl—only to meet her gaze. Finally, Astrid cleared her throat and asked the girl, “Can I help you?”

The girl doesn’t answer. Instead, she narrowed her eyes at Astrid. Astrid took this as an opportunity to examine the girl herself. She looked like she was in her late teens, her hair was cropped short, and she wore a denim jacket over a white dress (a bit fancier than Astrid’s white t-shirt and jeans combo). But as Astrid took in her expression, the girl didn’t seem to be the least bit bothered by her acknowledgment.

“What do you want, Cain? Why’d you have to take me home?” One of the girls suddenly exclaimed, making Astrid jump in her seat. Astrid shifted her gaze over to the screaming girl only to find her huddled into a pair with the third girl.

“I think that was a little too dramatic,” The third girl tried to say patiently, though her expression said otherwise, “Like you have to escalate the scene first before you get to the shout-y lines, you know what I’m saying?”

“Well, if you’re so great then why don’t you do it?” The other girl snapped in frustration.

Astrid quickly reverted her gaze back to her own screenplay, not wanting to get caught staring as a fight started to brew.

Thankfully, a boy no older than twenty years old, came out of the audition room holding a clipboard with a list of their names.

“Astrid Yu?” He called out. His eyes landed on Astrid and his face morphed into one of confusion. He looked at his clipboard once more before returning his gaze to her.

“Hey, aren’t you the Astrid Yu—“

“Ah, yes, that would be me.” Astrid quickly got up, interrupting the PA before he announced to the whole room who she really is. His eyes widen in realization as he finally recognizes her.

“Oh my God, it really is you! I thought it was a prank or, you know, someone with the same name.” He mused excitedly, his speech steadily getting faster and faster.

Astrid laughed awkwardly, growing more and more uncomfortable by the stares she was receiving from the other girls.

““Right.” Astrid clears her throat. She then gestured to the boy at the door, “Should I?”

“Right! Of course, of course. Come in!” He said, gesturing to her inside.

“Is there even a point in auditioning now?” A new voice asks aloud, “We all know who the role’s gonna go to anyway.”

Astrid didn’t have to turn around to know it was from the teenage girl who was staring at her. But oh, how she wished the ground would swallow her up right at this moment.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Okay, so just so you’re aware, the current script you’re holding is only an entry-level sort of thing. Should the other directors here see potential in your performance with this script, they’ll ask you to read for theirs as well.” The boy said as he followed Astrid into the room, closing the door behind them with a soft click.

“Sorry, ‘other directors?’” Astrid asked as her eyes fell on the four other people seated behind a long table with stacks of papers in front of each of them.

“Oh, right! So, we’re a panel of directors looking for actors for our own short films. You’re currently in what we call a ‘group audition.’ So, the role you’re auditioning for might not even be the role you’re going to get.” The boy helpfully explained.

“But, since you’re Astrid Yu, just expect that we’re all going to want you to read for us!” He unhelpfully added.

“I see, I see.” Astrid nodded thoughtfully as she let her eyes wander along each and everyone in the room.

There were at least five ‘directors,’ which would mean at least five films she’s going to have to read for should she do well. Excitement bubbled up inside Astrid. She’s definitely studied more roles at the same time, but to have to switch mindsets in a shorter amount of time would definitely challenge her skills as an actress. They all give her a polite smile as they meet her gaze.

“I understand.” She finally said after a few moments passed.

“Great! So first in the roster will be my film, which is what you have right now.” He said, gesturing to the screenplay in her hands, “What we’re going to do is I’m going to play Cain in this scene, and you’ll be Abby.”

Astrid nodded, holding on to her copy firmly.

“The context of this scene is that your brother ruined your night at the bar by bringing you home, only to leave you to face your father’s wrath alone. This is the aftermath of that, so now you’re angry and you’re lashing out.”

“Right.” Astrid replied, mentally getting into the scene.

“All right then! Whenever you’re ready.”

Astrid closed her eyes and breathed in, she let the oxygen sit in her lungs for a moment before exhaling slowly.

“What do you want from me, Cain?” She started slowly, her voice cold but tired, “Why’d you even bother taking me home?”

“I was worried.”

“Worried?” Astrid lets out an ironic laugh before she throws a glare at the boy.

“That is funny, that is really,” She choked on her line, holding back the tears that were forming in her eyes, “... funny.”

They stare at each other for a moment, letting the tension sit in the air.

“What do you want from me?” The boy—no, Cain replied. His tone was just as tired and angry. “I don’t know, Cain.” Astrid said, maintaining her glare on Cain as she steeled herself for the upcoming confrontation, “You tell me.”

“Do you think I like what’s going on? Huh, Abby? Do you think I like going from bar to bar just to get you home?”

She remembers the third girl’s advice; escalate the scene first. Then scream.

“Then stop!” Astrid snaps, her voice loud and striking, “Just... stop.”

“You were never there for me,” Astrid finally finished with a sob, “So don’t start now.”

A thick silence enveloped the room as Astrid cried. Eventually, she straightened her back, and wiped her tears away. She flashed them a smile to signal the end of the scene.

She stood awkwardly as the panelists began talking among themselves, including the very accommodating boy. They look like they’re having a bit of disagreement, but finally, the boy turns to her with a polite smile.

It barely concealed the apology behind it.

“Thank you so much for your time, Astrid. It was great having you!” The boy said with false excitement, trying to match the energy from earlier, “We’ll email you to tell you whether you got the role or not. Thank you and have a—”

“Wait!” Astrid exclaimed, cutting him short. They stare at her, waiting for her to continue.

“Sorry, uhm,” She gulped as she forced the question out, “What about the other scripts? Didn’t you want me to read for them too?”

The panelists look at each other for a moment, some of them throwing an accusatory glare at the boy before one of them speaks up.

“I think we’re good, thank you.”

Astrid stood awkwardly in place for another moment, unable to accept the turn out. She thought she did well, she thought that was one of the best performances she gave for an audition and yet...

“Can I ask what I did wrong?” She asked quietly, her voice so low but loud enough to fill the pin drop silence in the room. One of them speaks up, a girl with black rimmed glasses.

“Sorry, it’s just that your acting might be a little too—erm, mainstream for my film.” She finally said. Astrid looked at her, confused.

“Mainstream? What do you mean?”

“You know, dramatic. Very telenovela.” She gave Astrid an apologetic look, “It’s just not what we’re looking for.”

“Well, what are you looking for?”

“Something...” The girl gestures wildly, “You know, indie. Less melodramatic and more realistic. I don’t know, you’re a seasoned actress. You should know these things.”

Astrid stares at her, dumbfounded. What does this bitch know? She’s just a student film maker. She doesn’t know what the industry wants. This is why she’s directing a student film and not a mainstream movie—

“I’m sorry, Astrid.” The boy cuts in, trying to tone down the building tension in the room, “It’s just not what we’re looking for, that’s all.”

Astrid nods slowly, bowing her head slightly before walking out of the room without another word. The girls outside pick up on Astrid’s sour mood the moment she steps out the door. The two don’t acknowledge her presence and continue to throw lines at each other while the other girl, the teenager, stares at her with a mean glint in her eye.

“I guess superstars lose the roles too, huh.” She said with a smug look on her face.

Astrid stared at her blankly. With a sigh, she dropped her bag on the floor before approaching the girl.

“I can and I will make your life a living hell. So, don’t try me.” Astrid glared at her, poison dripping in her voice as she made her threat loud and clear. Astrid doesn’t wait for her to react before she picks up her bag off the floor and walks away.

“Don’t threaten me, bitch.” The girl hissed, “At least I didn’t break up with my boyfriend just to win some reality tv show!”

Astrid froze.

Slowly, she raised her hands to her ears and took off her earrings.

“That’s right,” The girl scoffed.

“We all know how you whored yourself to Jerome for votes.” The girl continued smugly as she watched Astrid tuck her jewelry into her bag and sit it on the chair next to her.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did the same to your studio’s executives.” She continued as Astrid turned around to calmly walk towards her. She missed the way Astrid’s fist balled up into fists the closer she got.

“After all, you are your mother’s daughter—”

Astrid didn’t wait for the girl to finish her sentence before she threw the first punch.