“That bitch said what now?” Dreia Rodriguez asked as she gingerly poked the disinfectant on the small cut on Astrid’s cheekbone. Astrid hissed in protest as soon as the wet cotton touched the wound.
They were sitting on the white leather couch in the living room of Astrid’s condo unit with a medical kit sprawled across the coffee table in front of them. Dreia, on the other hand, was trying to to treat the cuts on Astrid’s face.
“It’s really one thing to hold my actions against me,” Astrid started as Dreia stuck an invisible patch on her cut, “but to compare me to my mom—"
“Oh, yeah. I’d probably be charged with murder if anyone tried to compare me to my dad.” Dreia said as she used a pair of tweezers to pick up another cotton ball and dunk it in the bottle of disinfectant.
“Right? Like, my mom did everything to provide for me. She sacrificed her entire career just to have me. It would be an insult to compare me to her.” Astrid continued. Dreia paused and gave her a blank look.
“Not quite what I meant, but whatever helps you sleep at night,” She finally said with a shrug after a moment of silence.
“Hey—stop moving!” Dreia said, clicking her tongue in disapproval when Astrid continued to lean away every time Dreia approached with the cotton ball. Finally, she got dab the disinfectant on Astrid’s face and stick another band aid on it.
With a sigh, Dreia straightened up and promptly tossed the used cotton in can behind her. She then rolled her sleeves up and fixed the hair clip that was holding her hair up in a bun. She gave Astrid one last look before snorting.
“What?” Astrid asked, playfully offended by the gesture.
“You look like a tambay who just got out of a fight at a drinking session.” Dreia cackled.
“That’s mean. You wish you were dating this tambay.” Astrid replied, sticking her tongue out.
“Sure. I’ll call you if I feel like getting into a messy relationship with someone in the industry.”
“Hey, I am not messy.” Astrid protested with a playful huff.
“Whatever you say, Pacman.” Dreia replied with a smirk as she gestured to the cuts on Astrid’s face. Astrid flushed a deep red and gave her a sheepish smile.
“So, who won?”
“I did, obviously.”
“‘Obviously?’”
“Hey! If you must know, I work out.” Astrid replied as she flexes her arms, showing a bit of muscle. She took one look at the disbelieving look on Dreia’s face and huffed.
“Fine, I don’t work out as much as you do, but at least it’s a start,” She followed up, receiving a hearty laugh from Dreia.
“Man, you haven’t changed one bit.” Dreia mused.
“You’re still that hot-headed girl I know since high school.”
“I’ve learned to control my temper quite a bit if you must know.” Astrid said, raising a brow at the girl. Dreia simply waved her off.
“Not enough, apparently. You’re still fighting random teenagers in waiting rooms.”
Astrid rolled her eyes, a fond smile still stuck on her face.
To be honest, her hot temper was usually triggered by insults hurled against her mom. While their relationship can be a bit turbulent, she can’t deny that Vivien had been through a lot raising her as a single mother. Vivien gave up her entire career to keep Astrid. She raised her alone and did everything she can in power to make sure Astrid prospered.
As mean and cold Vivien could be at times, Astrid still owed her everything.
Astrid shook her head, refusing to stay upset when her best childhood friend was sitting right next to her. She was going to make the most out of Dreia’s visit and make up for the lost time.
“Anyway, what’s been going on with you?” Astrid asked Dreia who had been drinking from some from a glass. Dreia sighed, like she had been dreading that discussion.
“I’m mostly okay, but I’m sure that’s not the answer you’re looking for.” Dreia chuckled before giving her glass a long look.
After a moment, she sighed.
“Man, you should be a talk show host, you sure know how to bring in the tough questions.” Dreia said with a laugh.
Astrid frowned, “Dreia, all I asked was how have you been.”
“I know, sorry. It’s just… man, what loaded question.” Dreia laughed as she buried her back against the couch.
After a moment, Dreia makes another thoughtful sound, “Oh man, I really don’t know where to start. It’s been like, what, seven years since you moved to Manila?”
Damn. Seven years.
Astrid finally understood why Dreia felt a bit cornered. Astrid dropped her gaze for a moment, regret blooming on her cheeks at the memory of how that went. It’s been seven years since she left everything and everyone behind in Cebu to chase after her mother’s dream of Astrid becoming the industry’s up and coming It-Girl in her generation.
“I mean,” Dreia’s voice quickly pulls Astrid out of her own thoughts as the girl turns to look at her, “I don’t know, what do you want to know?”
Astrid looked thoughtful for a moment, “I mean I know you’re one of the most awarded Film Makers in our generation back in Cebu. Maybe we can start with that?”
“I mean, yeah. Attended some vocational film programs and graduated. Submitted my student films in festivals and joined several more.”
Dreia then bit her lip, hesitating to continue before eventually doing so, “I was never really in it for the awards and prestige, you know. It was really more of the prize money.”
“Oh,” Astrid said, “do you want to talk about it?”
She watched the turmoil shift in Dreia’s face from that question.
“I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” She quickly continued, “but I just want you to know that if you’re short on money, I can help—”
“It’s not that, it’s…” Dreia lets out a deep sigh before turning towards Astrid.
“You know, it’s Lee.”
Astrid felt her heart skip at the beat at the sound of Lee’s name.
Lee. Short, lanky Lee who played the third of their trio back in high school. Lee, who was just as important to Astrid as Dreia is. Lee, the boy she left behind in Cebu to pursue some dumb show in Manila. Lee, the ex she left for Jerome to gain more attention from the industry.
Lee. The one that got away.
Astrid’s heart started beating faster—harder in her chest at the mere mention of his name.
“Did something happen to him?” She carefully asked.
“No, I mean—I guess, but not to him directly.” Dreia said, “but you know, since he’s the sole owner of Brew Blends now, it’s been kind of rough on him as well.”
“He’s handling Brew Blends?” If Astrid remembered correctly, it was Lee’s grandmother who ran the coffee shop, “Did Lola Elisa retire?”
Dreia gave her a long hard look.
“You don’t know?” She finally asked.
Astrid cleared her throat, "No. Lee, uh, he blocked me after the uhm… the whole thing."
"Right.” Dreia looked down, picking on the skin on her thumb’s nail bed.
“Well, Lola Elisa passed away a few years back. She had a stroke and never really recovered."
---
Astrid remembered it all like it was yesterday.
They were around 14 years old, just approaching their third year of high school. It was in the middle of summer, and the heat was peeling off their bones. The three sat next to each other on an old beat-up wooden bench next to Lola Elisa’s stall.
The name “Brew Blends” was painted on the signboard in beautiful cursive and hanging underneath it was the menu. The counter displayed a humble array of coffee choices and empty plastic cups.
Lola Elisa was hand-brewing some coffee for the three—a little secret they share since Vivien would never allow Astrid to have some coffee at such a young age.
(“I don’t want to be raising a teenage caffeine addict,” Vivien would always say while talking to the older lady.)
“Enrique, when are you and Astrid going to give me some grandkids?” Lola Elisa would tease, making Lee choke on his spit and flush a deep shade of red.
He would sputter out, “We’re only fourteen!” and refuse to meet Astrid’s eyes for the next hour or so in embarrassment. Lola Elisa would cackle in response, obviously amused by the flustered reaction.
“I met your grandfather when I was fourteen, and you don’t see me complaining about being too young.” She would say.
Lola Elisa would then turn to Astrid and say, “I hope you’re a patient young lady, my apo might take forever to come around.”
Lee would then ask her out on Valentine’s Day a year later, and they would be in a steady relationship for three more years.
Astrid remembered the somber look on Lola Elisa’s face when she told her that she would be leaving for Manila to join a survival reality TV show. While Lola Elisa expressed excitement and wished her well, the sad look in her eyes told Astrid that the older woman would miss her dearly.
Since her very public break-up with Lee, she ultimately decided to cut all ties with the family out of shame. Especially after she came out of the tv show and found that Lee had her blocked in all forms of social media, sealing her fate for the next seven years.
Astrid always fantasized that one day, she’d come back to Cebu and have the face to meet Lola Elisa again.
“Well, Lola Elisa passed away a few years back. She had a stroke and never really recovered." Dreia’s words echoed in her head like a broken record.
And it hit her. She was never going to see Lola Elisa, the woman who acted as her second mother, ever again. And it hurt more to realize that she didn’t even know about her final moments.
“I’m sorry, I… I didn’t know.” Astrid said with a shaky breath. She looked away from Dreia to hide the tears welling up in her eyes.
As if on cue, Astrid heard her phone vibrate from the coffee table. She took a peek at the Caller ID and saw her mother calling.
“I have to get this.” Astrid said, her voice wavering just a bit as she grabbed her phone. She missed the way Dreia nodded at her as she stepped out onto the balcony.
As the cold evening breeze caressed her face, Astrid let out a shaky sigh and blinked back her tears.
Finally, she picked up her phone.
“Mom?”
Translation: Lola (Filipino) - Grandmother (English)
“Mom?” Astrid gave Dreia an apologetic smile behind the glass door of her balcony as she picked up her mother’s call. A small part of her was relieved that Vivien called, unknowingly whisking her away from the reality Astrid left behind in Cebu–that inevitably went on without her. “Hey, honey. Are you outside?” “Yeah, I’m on the balcony.” Astrid said with a shaky breath as she leaned against the terrace. “Have you been crying?” “No–” “I take it the audition didn’t go well then.” Astrid paused, momentarily surprised with how off her mother was. Still, she appreciated the ignorance. Lola Elisa’s passing was not something she could process just yet. “No…” Astrid finally replied, her voice trailing off. How many years has it been since Lola Elisa passed? How was Lee coping with all of this? Why didn’t anyone tell her? The thought of the body of the lanky teenager she loved crying over an open casket broke her heart, but what was worse was that she wasn’t there to cry with him. St
If Astrid was truly honest with herself, she was terrified of the idea of being alone. She is truly crippled by the very thought – hell, the entire concept of being rejected and left behind if she was not next to perfect. Astrid constantly felt as though she needed to go more than just above and beyond so she could exceed expectations. Just so people would continue to love her, to stay by her side. Can you blame her? She was the product of a failed relationship and the reason behind her mother’s career being flushed right down the drain. The 90s was anything but forgiving to single mothers who decided to keep their baby out of wedlock. And right now, Astrid felt as though she had been abandoned. She felt as though she was facing the scrutiny of the world completely and utterly alone. She had destroyed the family she created in Cebu in her pursuit for success. She has disappointed her mother when she failed. And now, what is there left for her? Astrid didn’t know. She didn’t know
“I’m going on a social media cleanse,” was the last text Astrid sent Dreia before she fell off the face of the Earth.That was two weeks ago.In those two weeks, Astrid had completely uprooted her life in Manila and moved back to Cebu. She didn’t contact anyone when she arrived—not her friends, family, or followers. It was like she disappeared altogether. Hell, she wanted to disappear altogether.But she didn’t.Couldn’t.In that time, Astrid simply gave herself time to breathe.She refused to step out of her childhood home, opting for food delivery apps to feed herself and just locking herself up in her room with her blackout curtains closed.Astrid did everything she could to cope. She did so by watching all of the dramas Netflix, Prime Video, and even Disney+ had to offer. It was cathartic living someone else’s life, crying someone else’s tears, and pretending that one day, she’ll also have her happily ever after.She was about to go on her third week of complete radio silence, whe
Astrid sat cross-legged on the floor with an array of paper and Post-It notes scattered around her. A marker in hand, she was determined to think of a new content idea that would top her last one. Or at least, officially launch her social media debut. Not like that mess of a make-up tutorial, she thought to herself. Still, Astrid didn’t understand why that worked so well. Was it because she looked pathetic, drunk on camera post-breakup? Or was it because the whole video was a scoop waiting to happen? Astrid recalled how her mother’s phone rang at least six to ten times a day for week from reporters requesting an interview–or at the very least, a statement. “My daughter is preparing something amazing for her fans. I hope everyone looks forward to it,” was all her mother would say every time. Still… Astrid stared at the view count of over two million on her phone. The bar is set a bit too high now, isn’t it? Astrid jumped when her phone suddenly started ringing loudly with the dev
The scene starts in a meeting room with a long table at the center.Astrid Yu sits on one side while her showbiz ex-boyfriend, Jerome Young, sits on the other. Astrid's mother, Vivien Yu, discusses with Jerome's lawyer the terms and conditions entailed in the Non-Disclosure Agreement. A result of the love team's break up.Jerome’s lawyer talks about how this scandal would hurt not only the boy's career, but the studio as well. The executives only want to tie up loose ends before they start marketing Jerome's movie. However, Astrid is despondent to the situation. She doesn't speak or even look at anyone. Instead, she plays the scene of Jerome's betrayal in her head over and over.Before they could successfully wrap up the meeting, Astrid finally speaks. She agrees to sign the agreement, but in return, Jerome never gets to speak about her. Not in interviews, not in Facebook posts, nothing. It will be like she never existed.Vivien is visibly startled but quickly composes herself. She a
By the first hour of the meeting, Astrid Yu has killed Jerome Young twenty-three times. In her head, of course. Kind of hard to commit a real murder when your showbiz ex-boyfriend literally has a lawyer by his side. Hell, Jerome was the reason Astrid was in a difficult position in the first place. Seated across each other with only a long table separating them and their representatives, Astrid would argue that they were in one of those reality TV shows that feature a couple that’s about to divorce. Astrid was even dressed for the part. She wore an all-black dress under a dark gray blazer —with the shoulder pads! She opted not to wear pearl accessories like the wives in the movies because she wanted to at least look humble when she rips Jerome into shreds. Only there were no cameras, no film crew, no directors yelling “Action!” across the room to signal the start of the scene. Just Jerome and his lawyer, and Astrid and her mother, in the middle of a legal meeting discussing a Non-Di
Everyone has those days when everything just feels wrong.To Astrid, those days had become weeks and eventually, months. Since her break up with Jerome became public, it was like she had become completely irrelevant in the industry. Despite her best attempts in landing roles, going from one audition venue to another day after day, it just seemed like there was always someone better.This time, Astrid was sitting in a hallway, auditioning for an unknown production’s indie film. Or was it a student film? Either way, she needed to make bank somehow.So, there she was, sitting in a hallway along with three other hopefuls who took their own corners as they practiced their lines relentlessly—except for one. One girl stared at her with a scrutinizing gaze, making Astrid squirm slightly in her seat. If there’s one thing that she hated from her short-lived fame, it was the staring.Astrid tried to focus her attention on her screenplay, but she couldn’t help but steal a glance at the girl—only
Astrid sat cross-legged on the floor with an array of paper and Post-It notes scattered around her. A marker in hand, she was determined to think of a new content idea that would top her last one. Or at least, officially launch her social media debut. Not like that mess of a make-up tutorial, she thought to herself. Still, Astrid didn’t understand why that worked so well. Was it because she looked pathetic, drunk on camera post-breakup? Or was it because the whole video was a scoop waiting to happen? Astrid recalled how her mother’s phone rang at least six to ten times a day for week from reporters requesting an interview–or at the very least, a statement. “My daughter is preparing something amazing for her fans. I hope everyone looks forward to it,” was all her mother would say every time. Still… Astrid stared at the view count of over two million on her phone. The bar is set a bit too high now, isn’t it? Astrid jumped when her phone suddenly started ringing loudly with the dev
“I’m going on a social media cleanse,” was the last text Astrid sent Dreia before she fell off the face of the Earth.That was two weeks ago.In those two weeks, Astrid had completely uprooted her life in Manila and moved back to Cebu. She didn’t contact anyone when she arrived—not her friends, family, or followers. It was like she disappeared altogether. Hell, she wanted to disappear altogether.But she didn’t.Couldn’t.In that time, Astrid simply gave herself time to breathe.She refused to step out of her childhood home, opting for food delivery apps to feed herself and just locking herself up in her room with her blackout curtains closed.Astrid did everything she could to cope. She did so by watching all of the dramas Netflix, Prime Video, and even Disney+ had to offer. It was cathartic living someone else’s life, crying someone else’s tears, and pretending that one day, she’ll also have her happily ever after.She was about to go on her third week of complete radio silence, whe
If Astrid was truly honest with herself, she was terrified of the idea of being alone. She is truly crippled by the very thought – hell, the entire concept of being rejected and left behind if she was not next to perfect. Astrid constantly felt as though she needed to go more than just above and beyond so she could exceed expectations. Just so people would continue to love her, to stay by her side. Can you blame her? She was the product of a failed relationship and the reason behind her mother’s career being flushed right down the drain. The 90s was anything but forgiving to single mothers who decided to keep their baby out of wedlock. And right now, Astrid felt as though she had been abandoned. She felt as though she was facing the scrutiny of the world completely and utterly alone. She had destroyed the family she created in Cebu in her pursuit for success. She has disappointed her mother when she failed. And now, what is there left for her? Astrid didn’t know. She didn’t know
“Mom?” Astrid gave Dreia an apologetic smile behind the glass door of her balcony as she picked up her mother’s call. A small part of her was relieved that Vivien called, unknowingly whisking her away from the reality Astrid left behind in Cebu–that inevitably went on without her. “Hey, honey. Are you outside?” “Yeah, I’m on the balcony.” Astrid said with a shaky breath as she leaned against the terrace. “Have you been crying?” “No–” “I take it the audition didn’t go well then.” Astrid paused, momentarily surprised with how off her mother was. Still, she appreciated the ignorance. Lola Elisa’s passing was not something she could process just yet. “No…” Astrid finally replied, her voice trailing off. How many years has it been since Lola Elisa passed? How was Lee coping with all of this? Why didn’t anyone tell her? The thought of the body of the lanky teenager she loved crying over an open casket broke her heart, but what was worse was that she wasn’t there to cry with him. St
“That bitch said what now?” Dreia Rodriguez asked as she gingerly poked the disinfectant on the small cut on Astrid’s cheekbone. Astrid hissed in protest as soon as the wet cotton touched the wound. They were sitting on the white leather couch in the living room of Astrid’s condo unit with a medical kit sprawled across the coffee table in front of them. Dreia, on the other hand, was trying to to treat the cuts on Astrid’s face. “It’s really one thing to hold my actions against me,” Astrid started as Dreia stuck an invisible patch on her cut, “but to compare me to my mom—" “Oh, yeah. I’d probably be charged with murder if anyone tried to compare me to my dad.” Dreia said as she used a pair of tweezers to pick up another cotton ball and dunk it in the bottle of disinfectant. “Right? Like, my mom did everything to provide for me. She sacrificed her entire career just to have me. It would be an insult to compare me to her.” Astrid continued. Dreia paused and gave her a blank look. “No
Everyone has those days when everything just feels wrong.To Astrid, those days had become weeks and eventually, months. Since her break up with Jerome became public, it was like she had become completely irrelevant in the industry. Despite her best attempts in landing roles, going from one audition venue to another day after day, it just seemed like there was always someone better.This time, Astrid was sitting in a hallway, auditioning for an unknown production’s indie film. Or was it a student film? Either way, she needed to make bank somehow.So, there she was, sitting in a hallway along with three other hopefuls who took their own corners as they practiced their lines relentlessly—except for one. One girl stared at her with a scrutinizing gaze, making Astrid squirm slightly in her seat. If there’s one thing that she hated from her short-lived fame, it was the staring.Astrid tried to focus her attention on her screenplay, but she couldn’t help but steal a glance at the girl—only
By the first hour of the meeting, Astrid Yu has killed Jerome Young twenty-three times. In her head, of course. Kind of hard to commit a real murder when your showbiz ex-boyfriend literally has a lawyer by his side. Hell, Jerome was the reason Astrid was in a difficult position in the first place. Seated across each other with only a long table separating them and their representatives, Astrid would argue that they were in one of those reality TV shows that feature a couple that’s about to divorce. Astrid was even dressed for the part. She wore an all-black dress under a dark gray blazer —with the shoulder pads! She opted not to wear pearl accessories like the wives in the movies because she wanted to at least look humble when she rips Jerome into shreds. Only there were no cameras, no film crew, no directors yelling “Action!” across the room to signal the start of the scene. Just Jerome and his lawyer, and Astrid and her mother, in the middle of a legal meeting discussing a Non-Di
The scene starts in a meeting room with a long table at the center.Astrid Yu sits on one side while her showbiz ex-boyfriend, Jerome Young, sits on the other. Astrid's mother, Vivien Yu, discusses with Jerome's lawyer the terms and conditions entailed in the Non-Disclosure Agreement. A result of the love team's break up.Jerome’s lawyer talks about how this scandal would hurt not only the boy's career, but the studio as well. The executives only want to tie up loose ends before they start marketing Jerome's movie. However, Astrid is despondent to the situation. She doesn't speak or even look at anyone. Instead, she plays the scene of Jerome's betrayal in her head over and over.Before they could successfully wrap up the meeting, Astrid finally speaks. She agrees to sign the agreement, but in return, Jerome never gets to speak about her. Not in interviews, not in Facebook posts, nothing. It will be like she never existed.Vivien is visibly startled but quickly composes herself. She a